I need to go find something else to do, because this is getting out of control.

I am just feeling it right now. No, I'm not beating off, but who else out there remembers SkiFree?

In case you are feeling the urge to maximize your "awwwwwwww" you can also check out Cute Overload. Whatever you do, don't read the captions, just look at the pictures. Nothing kills cute faster than stupid.

Oh yeah and while I'm keeping up my dork street cred I should post a link to LOLTrek, where somebody went and did the original Star Trek episode "The Trouble With Tribbles" LOL-style.

plz tel me u iz not postin bout dis

I don't know why I find lolcats so funny but I do. In fact, I don't need to know why it's funny, I just need to know that it's funny. Dumb, but entertaining. I go back and forth between laughing:




And "awwwwwwwwwwwww":




Quite possibly even better is that someone has taken this meme (I fucking hate that word and am ashamed I used it) and turned it into a programming language. No, that's not a typo. How the fuck could you make a typo like that anyway? Get off my ass.

Seriously, this is fucking hilarious. Here's the ubiquitous "Hello World":

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!"
KTHXBYE

Mix in some file I/O:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"?
     AWSUM THX
          VISIBLE FILE
     O NOES
          INVISIBLE "ERROR!"
KTHXBYE

And of course we gotta be able to do basic flow control:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
     UP VAR!!1
     IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX
     VISIBLE VAR
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

If you have read this far, and you are not a dork, you don't need to know why this is funny, you just need to know that it's funny. KTHXBYE

Quite possibly the best Slashdot sig ever:

Even Jesus hates listening to Creed.

When I read stories like this, I'm not exactly sure how to react. Okay, well if you've been here long enough, and I mean really really long enough (holy fuck it has been over five years), you know what my initial reaction is. Old FUCKING SERIAL KILLER DUDE lands himself a hot, way younger girl. I'm not banging 20-year-olds and I'm not even 30 yet, so why should he be? Okay maybe he technically isn't unless if he gets conjugal visits but you know what I mean.

On the other hand, holy Hell, why the fuck would I want a bitch that gorram stupid anyway?

You know those people who think they see the image of Jesus or Mary in random patterns and objects? Yeah don't ya just hate those ignorant cretins? Well at least they are good to make fun of.

The Lord or not that and nothing else will ever be able to top this:


That, of course, was ripped off from the late Crapmaster. After all these years (holy fuck it has been four years) the internet still sucks even more than it normally would without him around.

Finally, www.clownpenis.fart may become a reality.