Double quarter pounder with cheese: what heart attack victims eat when they're not in the hospital

Why didn't they just call it the "Happy Meal Minus Toy" or "Unhappy Happy Meal for Old People" or "What the Fuck, this isn't McDonald's Food."

I understand why McDonald's is selling salads and shit. I've even heard that they're decent. I just can't see myself going to McDonald's for a salad. When I go to McDonald's, I go in there for a greasy sloppy disgusting looking mess that for some reason tastes good when drowned in "fancy" ketchup. I also go in there expecting to die, which is why I've pretty much stopped going there except on very rare occasions.

The notion that McDonald's is doing so much to encourage bad eating habits is somewhat laughable. This is a society built on excess and zero delayed gratification. McDonald's, and fast food in general, is just tapping into that. Okay, I suppose you could argue that it's all somewhat cyclic, and the advent of fast food helped create this mess. Still, fast food wouldn't have caught on if there wasn't some desire for it in the first place.

Furthermore, if McDonald's somehow dropped off the face of the earth, fat fucks wouldn't disappear right along with it. People are fucking fat, and they're going to continue being fat tubs of shit no matter what. It's your fault that you're fat, fatties. Quit suing McDonald's and whoever else because you can't control yourself. I don't care what these bullshit lawsuits or Oprah tell you, it's your goddamn fault.

Yes, yes, some people do have a genetic tendency towards obesity, and that makes it more difficult. But not impossible. Take me, for instance. I've touched on this in an Audblog post before, but I'm in my early to mid twenties and I have high cholesterol. Now, abs of steel I am not, but fat fucking ass I also am not. My metabolism is good enough to keep me from gaining weight, but cholesterol is another story. The problem is that I have crummy eating habits coupled with a genetic tendency towards high cholesterol. You know what, though? There have been periods where I've gotten my shit together and lowered my cholesterol all on my own. Once, I was able to drop it about 60 points over six months with diet alone.

Now, do I always eat healthy? Nope, and that's why my cholesterol has been up and down over the past several years. The thing is, I know whose bloody fault it is when it's up: mine.