Sunday, February 06, 2011


So mentioning my all-time dreamwoman list got me thinking. The top two, Sasha and Danica, are always pretty quick to come to mind. But I always have to think, who is on the list after that? And then I'm like, oh yeah, I'd have to say Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens. After that I don't really know.

You'll notice a theme there -- petite, dark haired girls. They really are the best, celebs or otherwise. Give them light-colored eyes and freckles and glasses and that may be impossible to beat.

Considering I'm 5'3" in decent shoes my predilection for short women is not really a mystery. Really though it's partly a practical matter, and partly a matter that, at least in this case, smaller is just plain better. Why can't more of them be on board with that too?

Moving on, I never really cared all that much about hair color, well at least insofar as stupid notions like "gentlemen prefer blondes." As far as I've always been concerned, if the hair color looks good, then it really does not matter to me. But still, there's something about dark hair -- particularly straight-up black -- that really is just +1.

OK, so the whole purpose of this post, well initially anyway, was something I came across while thinking about the dreamwoman list. I did not remember exactly how tall Selena is (turns out 5'4" or 5'5"). Enter, a site which once again shows that no matter how trivial of info you seek, you can find it on the internet.

This got me going along another line of thought that is of immense gravity. In my mind, what was the best thing to come out of 1984: Sasha Cohen... Or the first Ghostbusters movie?

That really is a tough call. Sasha has been my #1 celebrity crush since the Salt Lake games. For those of you keeping score at home, yes, she was only 17 at the time, and no, I don't care what you think of that. Anyone who has been here from "back in the day" (sad that there was one of those with regards to this 'blog) knows my fascination with the younger set anyway. I'm not some fucking ChiMo; I'm not gonna be doing anything but looking, OK? And any straight guy who says he doesn't like to at least check out younger girls, even (especially?) of the underage variety, is a fucking liar. Again, most will be look but don't touch, and I really don't see a problem with that as long as dudes aren't total creepers about it.

What the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah, 1984. Anyway, yeah, Sasha has been my fantasy for a long time, but man, Ghostbusters. That movie was a revelation for me. Easily my favorite movie of the 80s and one of the best of all time IMO. I was so enthralled by that movie that in 3rd grade I wrote a Ghostbusters story. Not some run-of-the-mill eight-year-old drivel, either. This story was a fucking magnum opus. It was thirteen pages. Handwritten. That's fucking War and Peace to a kid. In the story I was the fifth ghostbuster. I spent so much time crafting the story, honing it, that one quarter my teacher actually added comments on my report card that she was concerned that I was taking so much time on the story and not moving on to others. Well fuck her; good literature cannot be rushed.

I don't really have a resolution to this. Really I'm just glad that the world has both of them. I would almost say that the existence of things so sublime would almost make me believe that there is a benevolent god out there. But then I realize: I am not the fifth ghostbuster, and I am not having sex with Sasha Cohen. So fuck you, God who probably doesn't even exist.

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