Hey.

Google search:

BMW 325Ci how to get the fucking tires off

Sorry, dude. I only know the procedure to get tires off of a 330i; things are vastly different since you have the coupe or convertible with the smaller engine. Seriously, people this fucking retarded don't deserve to be driving, nonetheless driving a Bimmer. And regardless of entitlement, they definitly shouldn't be driving.

But I'm not bitter or anything

Maxim magazine apparently has an article on the “25 greatest short dudes of all time” in its December issue. I got sick of Maxim when I turned 13 and have mocked the publication ever since, but do I now have to give them some big ups for trying to help out my kind?

The magazine, in its December issue, claims to be helping women “begin a long overdue fight against their genetically determined shallowness when choosing a partner.”

Thanks, guys. That should be a real big help, because I know that women really read and pay attention to what Maxim tells them. Then again, I'm sure plenty of women pay attention to shit like the "101 Ways to Please Your Man" columns in Cosmo and similar drivel, so you never know. But really, if Samantha dating a short guy on an epsisode of Sex and the City didn't change anything, nothing ever will.

Then there's the fact that Yoda made the list. Yoda is a fucking puppet, i.e. not a real person, and he made the list. I could beat the shit out of Yoda because lightsabers, the force, and Yoda himself are all not real (sorry to break this to some of you). Yoda's inclusion in the list tells you everything you need to know about changing those shallow attitudes.

"All a man needs is food, sex, and silence. Feed me, fuck me, shut the fuck up."
- Chris Rock pointing out that there are only three things, not 101, necessary to please your man

ETP posted a link to this a compilation of critics' quotes on the new 50 Cent movie a couple of days back. In the interest of being me and maintaining the low standards of this 'blog, I'm ripping off the link. However, I will go against principle and add some value. That "Critical Mess" feature is a regular "column" (not sure if you can call pulling other peoples' words together and Photoshopping them to a movie poster a column) on Movie Poop Shoot, View Askiew's entertainment news site. An archive of other installments of Critical Mess is contained here, and there is some pretty amusing stuff in there.

SeVIIen

The Final Fantasy game series is one of those series that's achieved such status with us that any particular installment can be referred to simply by number. After about eight years, I finally sat down and started playing VII a few weeks ago. I had been meaning to buy and furthermore play this game for the longest fucking time, but just never got around to it. The same goes for VIII, which I have owned for a couple of years but have not put significant effort into. Yeah, the game series has legendary status with me, even though I've only played one of them all the way through (that being X). I kinda feel like I've actually already played VII since I watched ETP play so much of it our freshman year in the dorms, though. The sad thing is, with as much as I watched him play that fucking game, there was still quite a bit of it that I didn't witness. That kid was a fucking machine playing that game. Case in point: Thursday.

I've made reference to Thursday before. Searching through my archives, though, I couldn't find an instance of where I actually talked about Thursday, though. So get ready for another boring story of ours from back in the day.

This dipshit friend of ours was actually the one who first bought VII. His reason for buying it? "It's three discs!" But anyway, after a couple of days, he realized that he wasn't going to get any work done if he had VII sitting there in his room to play (despite this realization, this kid never finished college). ETP, on the other hand, can balance a schedule that includes heavy video game time along with skipping classes that he already knows everything in anyway. The kid is that good. So he set off on a VII quest.

One morning, not surprisingly at this juncture a Thursday morning, I got up. I don't know if ETP was already playing when I got up, but before I left for my four-hour chem lab, he was at it. Upon returning to our room from lab, he was still playing. After awhile, I left for work, with him still going. I was at work for at least another few hours, and when I got home, he was still playing. I can't remember what time he stopped that night, but it turned out to be a 14-hour marathon. He took time out for dinner (I think) and to hit the can, but that was it. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but trust me -- Thursday was fucking epic. How could it not be if out of all the Thursdays throughout history, that is the only one known simply as "Thursday"?

I'm not in Thursday territory yet. Shit, Thursday alone is nearly half the time I've put into playing the game thus far. I'm at just over 30 hours by the game clock (so a bit more in real time), and have just broken into the second disc. Of course, I don't quite have the free time to be logging 14-hour FF days, despite my rigorous social schedule. Since I've been busting ass at work and have been ordered to take some time off along with the upcoming Thanksgiving break, there's a chance I might get in some good hours in the coming days. Even still, I don't know if I can ever match Thursday.

I've been playing it off and on, sometimes going a week without touching it, then picking it up and playing until well into the morning. That'll happen with those fucking games. I've been hitting it decently hard the past couple of days since I finally had some time, plus I've just been pushing it so I can get to the part where Aeris dies. For anyone who has played the game already, you know what I'm talking about. For anyone who hasn't played the game but was thinking about it, just consider ruining part of the plot my gift to you.

And no, I wasn't trying to get to this particular part because I'm an asshole and I like it when the good guys get killed off, it's because I've been dreading that part and I just wanted to get it over with. I cared for that character a great deal, mainly just because she liked me (er, well, my video-game alter ego) for no reason whatsoever other than the plot demanded it. That's appealing to a guy like me who isn't going to be able to get real interest from a woman even with significant effort which I'm not even willing to put in. Sad? Yes. But have you read anything else here, for fuck's sake? You should know by now if so.

Sure, Tifa is hot and all, and she kicks some ass. But Aeris was cute and friendly and on top of that zero-effort, and that's just grand. So yeah, I liked Aeris, and now she's fucking dead, leaving us to move on with the rest of the miserable affair. Of course, thanks to ETP, I pretty much know a lot of what goes down and how it ends. I mean, beyond the fact that you win, which is a given with any FF game if you just play it long enough. I know some of the salient plot points, like how you're not real but actually a dream or some stupid shit like that. And I know that Sephiroth has wings for legs, can't wear his... Ah-DI-das! To make sure we're clear, the fact that you now know this is ETP's fault, not mine. And yeah, I've killed all this time playing a game where I know what happens, and I will proceed to kill even more time over the coming weeks. But as they say, life is a journey, not a destination, or some other such shit. Actually, the game is just fucking fun, even if you know what happens.

One of the more entertaining things about the more recent FF games is getting to name some or all of the characters in your party. Many just get left alone out of respect for the character, like Tifa. But many just demand name changes. Like Barret; he has to be named something to do with Mr. T because if you put some gold chains on that guy, that's who he is. Other characters have gotten names in the past that are now legendary, like the main female character from VIII, who will forever be known as Caitlin. This came about because that one dumbass I mentioned who first bought VII was for awhile obsessed with this girl named Caitlin, and as such we gave the character that name out of mockery (and also because ETP wasn't going to leave her name as Rhino).

For my VII quest, I just named the main character after me because I'm gay (I thought about naming him Link, though). Tifa and Aeris got left alone, and Mr. T is Mr. T. Cid got named "El Cid" because, again, he has to be. For Red XIII I couldn't come up with anything clever, so I just called him "Dogg." It was a couple of weeks later that I realized that I should have named him Raw Dog, but oh well. Vincent is such a fucking bag that the only name I could give him was Dooshe. In his case, though, I decided it needs to be pronounced Doo-shay. I haven't gotten Muffie yet, but that's obviously what she'll be called if I come across her. And Cait Sith? What the fuck is that thing? Could be meat, could be cake. I think it's... Meatcake!

I don't have the knack for naming characters like ETP does, though. There was one in Xenogears (or at least, I'm pretty sure it was Xenogears) that he named Fuckwad because, well, it looked like a fuckwad. Then there was the Guardian Diabolus from VIII, who is known to us as Asshole after ETP got pissed over how hard he was to beat.

As I've mentioned, this will be only the second FF game I've made it through, assuming, of course, that my video game ADHD doesn't kick in like it has with everything else in the past couple of years. Yup, somehow, X is the only one I've gone all the way through, probably because I got it and started playing it as the same time as ETP, thus allowing the whole game to be new to me the first time playing it for myself. Yes, I know, X was a piece of shit, even though, I'm sorry, it wasn't that bad. No, it wasn't that good. No, it wasn't VII or VIII, but both of us still put in our hours. Both of us wasted a bunch of fucking time in the calm plains. Both of us put in the effort to get those stupid ultimate weapons or whatever the fuck they were called. Even if Titus and Yuna were super lame, Auron was a bad-ass. And you, I might add, are the one who bought X-2, not me. Yes, I was the one who suckered you into it and I'm a bad person for that, but you still didn't have to do it.

Okay, now I can get back to talking to the rest of you. Should I get through it, this will also be the first game I've played all the way through in many years. I think the last one I didn't get bored with was Chrono Cross, which if you haven't played it, is a solid fucking game.

Shit, I've been talking about VII all this time, and I haven't even gotten to discussing the soundtrack. Talk about fucking epic. VIII is right up there with it, maybe even surpassing it. I may not have made it through either game at this point, but I sure as hell have played the shit out of those soundtracks. And since the games have come up in this post, Xenogears and Cross also have great soundtracks. All worth the money even though they're somewhat pricey, and don't be an ass and get bootlegs. This coming from the kid who hasn't actually purchased VII, but would if it were fucking in stock when he's looking to buy.

Correction: I just put in an order, and it should be on its way soon.

Alright, so that's really about it. As you may have surmised, the only real purpose of this post was so that I could use that title, which, yes, I have just been itching to use. That and so that I could update ETP on where I'm at and also allow the two of us to reminisce about the usual stupid bullshit without even having to talk to one another. Not like ETP gives that much of a shit about my progress; he has his own life. And by his own life, I mean Law and Order: SVU.

Yahoo search:

fuck you for tracking me your a fucking asshole my life sucks enough with out your fucking with it

Holy crap. This is another instance where you may want to seek some professional (legal and/or mental health) help instead of telling a bloody search engine your problems.

Okay, look. I'm not completely insensitive to the undescribably awful situation you're dealing with. But your daughter didn't kill herself because of the internet. She killed herself because she obviously had some serious problems. If someone is screwed up enough in the head or just has enough things wrong in their life to kill themselves, they're going to do it, help or no help.

Suzanne Gonzales seemed to have everything going for her.

Clearly she didn't, and I'm not trying to be flippant here. It's this kind of childish mentality about mental health that allows shit like this to be so prevalent. Maybe if we spent some time taking this shit seriously, these numbers would start going down.

Suicide is now the third leading cause of death among young people, the CDC reports.

On the other hand, a lot of kids are really fucking stupid, and thinning the herd might not be such a bad idea. Look, I had to go smart-ass at some point, ok?

"That's not pro-choice," Mike Gonzales said of the site. "That's brainwashing. And they are not being held responsible."

Held responsible? For what? If someone is helping procure illegal items, that's one thing. But just talking about shit isn't a crime. All this scapegoating and making excuses can't be helping the healing process. I know, I know, trying to find explanations and place blame like this is part of the grieving process, but I'm just tired of this bullshit.

Pat Robertson: retard.

GTherapy

Google search:

i hate you dad for cheating

I'm sorry, but Google hits like this are hillarious. To me, there's just an amusing sadness to doing Google searches on your fucked up life. Kinda like the girl who wanted to kill her boyfriend. I don't know if these people are looking for answers, they just need to talk to someone. Since Google is trying to take over the world anyway, they oughta start up a mental health service.

Yahoo search:

balkan super fuck

I don't know why, but I think this needs to be made into something -- a videogame or whatever, but something.

Google search:

texas is like a retarded kid with too much self-esteem

That's funny. The fact that Texas is being made fun of is good enough, but I really like the notion of an over-confident retard.

Or maybe I could just forego the whole buying a wife thing (since there's nothing creepy about that anyway) if I'd just get out of the fucking house and show off the car. Even with that, though, there's the problem that I want the car to be able to do pretty much everything for me, and as capable as it is, it's not that capable.

I'm thinking more and more that a mail-order bride might be the way to go for me. I am retarded socially; this we know. But when it comes to buying shit? I am on it. I'm not going to be an abusive fuck-off like some of the stellar individuals mentioned in that article, but as anyone can tell, I'm still not going to be the greatest husband, either. At least I look good on paper, though. She can brag to everyone about being with an engineer that makes good money, the house, the Bimmer, blah blah blah. No one she knows ever has to have anything to do with me, since they're on the other side of the fucking world. Image is all that matters to women anyway, right?

I don't exactly have $16K to be blowing right now, though, so this too is gonna have to wait. But of course, about a year ago, the whole car thing was a "bullshit pipe dream," but since money was involved I was of course able to figure it out. So like I said, this is a solid idea. A co-worker was telling me that meeting women who don't speak much English is a good way to go if you're shy, so that fits in nicely with all this. Of course, one could tell me that I just need to meet some foreign girls in more traditional ways that don't involve spending a bunch of bloody money, but that'd involve socializing and that's definitely not for me.

Lego Death Star, anyone? Should go nice with the cool but also too expensive Star Destroyer.

Sets like those aside, Lego is in such a sorry fucking place right now. I was out looking for Legos this week -- for once not for me but for someone else -- and I didn't have a ton of time, so I was only able to hit one store. I know that Lego has been in a shit state for years, but I was like, there's always at least one decent set, right? So I should be able to find something. Well, there pretty much was just one decent set in the whole fucking store (one of the Harry Potter sets). Everything else I saw made me wanna vomit. Like what the fuck is that Dino Attack shit? I didn't give those sets a close look because I didn't want to know. And then there's the Holocaust that is the Knight's Tale series. Several years ago they discontinued the castle lineup, and I was pissed. Then, they brought it back under the Knight's Tale moniker, and I was pissed. They should have just left it dead. The same goes for the pirates stuff. Ten to 15 years ago, that shit was bad-ass. Now it's resurrected as part of their 4+ lineup, and it fucks ass.

Some of the entertainment property-based sets are cool. A lot of the Star Wars ones are good, and I don't even like Star Wars that much. Some of the Harry Potter ones look decent, even though I've never read one of the books (because I'm not a child, even though in some ways I look and act like a child) or seen the movies (which I hear are decent). That should tell you something right there: the only Legos I can really get into now are for shit that I don't even like. It's like Jews playing with Nazi Legos, only way less extreme.

Actually, fuck. How cool would that be? Holocaust Legos would go great with our already planned line of September 11th toys. As I've mentioned before, I will call my toy company Depraved Indifference Toys. Our slogan? Depraved Indifference Toys: Making a Killing off of People Making a Killing.

Okay, I'm getting off track, as per usual. Back to why Lego has become the Trent Reznor of the toy industry. Okay, that's not really a fair comparison; both used to be really cool but now mostly suck, but Trent was never that cool, nor did he inspire anything other than screaming. And, okay, "really cool" is a stretch, even back in the day for Trent. But yeah, inspiration. Lego seems to have none of that anymore. It's just a bunch of stupid crap with way too many pre-fabbed pieces. I knew something was fucked up when I saw huge boxes with a piece count of, like, 12. The reason being that more and more of every set was constructed out of pre-fabbed plastic pieces and not built out of bricks by the user. That's... Fucking bullshit. Once I first noticed it, I was like, it's over. Lego will never be what it used to be.

Don't even get me started on Bionicle.

Like I said, though, there's some stuff that's decent, or even really good. There is a ton of train stuff that I'd love to get, but a lot of it is just bloody expensive. I totally need the Shinkansen and The El. And a lot of the roll your own train stuff is cool, too.

Some of the City stuff is OK, but not anywhere near as cool as it used to be. Like the fire station? Weak. Fucking. Sauce. Some of the construction stuff might be fun, but I need to get a closer look at all of it.

For some reason, I never got into the Technic stuff, but I should have. I really need this for some reason. ETP and BOETP got me the Ferrari F1 Racer, and that's BA. The only thing that's not cool is that it's Ferrari, enemy of the rest of Formula 1, including BMW. So it's still cool, I just can't feel good about it.

So yeah, there's a couple 'a sets that can float, but for the most part, the genre sucks. Some stuff has potential, but for some reason, fucking up is just in Lego's blood now. Like I just saw that they have a Viking line (which the store says is "not available in this country") which could be cool if this was 15 years ago. For me, that's when it was on. All sorts of cool shit was out. There were fun, interesting sets that didn't have a bunch of lame crap or too many pre-fabbed pieces. Going back to the mid-80s or so there was also some hard-core shit, but I unfortunately don't have much from that era.

The best set I've got? Hands down, the Black Seas Barracuda. I've got some really good sets, but this one still easily rises about the rest. This motherfucker has cannons that actually fire. I'd imagine they stopped making the cannons that could really shoot after not too long for predictable reasons -- stupid kids. Oh, and the Barracuda is big. The only ship that came close was the Skull's Eye Schooner, which I don't have but have always wanted to get my hands on if I could find one sealed. It might have been bigger and had some cooler features, but I'm convinced that it wasn't as neat as the Barracuda because I don't have one.

I have no conclusion for this, other than it's never going to be good again.

I knew when I saw a headline about Hillary Düff on tech news site The Register that there had to be something funny behind it.

I meant to comment on this a couple of days ago and totally spaced it. But it's official: George Takei cannot get any cooler. I've always loved George Takei because, as I see it, he's the anti-Shatner. William Fucking Shatner is what he is -- he serves his purpose, and he can be quite entertaining, whether laughing with him or at him. But through and through, he's a fucking douchebag. The Shat would clearly be nothing without Star Trek, and he has a definite disdain for that. When he makes fun of the fans, it's not just in jest -- there's a streak of malice in it. Now, as we all know, Star Trek dork needs to be made fun of, but there's a right way and a wrong way to do it if you're Shatner. And you know, if you're going to reject what made you a star, for fuck's sake, just separate yourself from it. Don't start writing some pathetic novels where Kirk is still alive.

Takei is just the opposite. That guy knows that he wouldn't be where he is without Trek. I'm sure that bugs him from time to time, but as yet, he rolls with it. He accepts it, has fun with it, and lets the fans know he genuinely appreciates them. Back when they were still deciding on what the next series would be (which ultimately ended up being that piece of shit Enterprise), one idea that was floated was doing a Captain Sulu show set on board the Excelsior. I always hated the prequel idea, partly because it was going backwards when everything else had moved forward (at least chronologically... Voyager was a step backwards in many other ways). But I could have gotten on board with a Sulu show. Looking back, the writers probably would have fucked it up, though, but still. Get your shit together and give that man his own show. The guy was cool before, he's even cooler to me now, and he deserves it.

I say give 'em the chair. Not just these guys, I'm talking all frat guys. Quick quiz: what's the difference between a frat guy and a piece of shit? The bucket. Seriously, the kid who died was merely doing us all a favor.

I think this woman made the right move by committing suicide. If you can't even get attention from others after you're dead and dangling in front of traffic, then it really just isn't worth it.

Fuck -- I should have just kept my mouth shut. Even though this cunt wasn't what we'd call "good," at least if that had gone through we could have moved on to our next abomination in this country. But you've gotta hand it to our government -- even for them, the bullshit was palpable throughout this affair. From the White House's pleas of "she's qualified... really!" to all of the excuses for her withdrawing when everyone knows the reasons... Christ. They piled it on thicker than the makeup that woman puts on that repulsive mug of hers.

The image is in my head, so now you have to deal with it, too

Google search:

giving birth while fucking doggy style

You're welcome.

Google search:

Freeballing Christians

I think this would make a great name for something like a minor-league baseball team. It wouldn't be as cool as the Decatur Fist, but it'd be up there.

Okay, so I have to give the Pope credit for one thing: knowing what to drive.

MSN search:

can horses eat top ramen

There were about a million search hits I was going to comment on, but seeing as how this may be the dumbest fucking search hit I've ever gotten, none of the others seem worthy of commentary by comparison. I can't even imagine what would prompt someone to ask this, other than they're retarded.

One thing's for certain: if horses can and indeed do eat Top Ramen, then that is not what's responsible for those horse cocks of theirs. If Top Ramen led to a massive schlong, I would have a dick big enough for us all to stand on with all the ramen I consumed sophomore year of college. As we all know, that's not the case -- the ladies are probably better off with a ramen noodle than my junk.

Alright, so last week was a solid week for driving. First off, one night I got bored after work, so I headed out to this long, straight country road where there usually aren't many cars. Now, in a car like a BMW, a long stretch of road with no curves is fucking boring. But you can make up for some of that if, say, you're going 130 miles an hour. Okay, so that's clearly not smart, but I was pissed and needed something to get my mind off of work for a bit, and doing a buck thirty can help in that endeavor. That's still well off that car's top speed of 155 MPH (assuming I don't get a new chip that removes the top speed limiter), but we're getting there.

That was just a precursor to... The track. This past weekend, the local chapter of the BMW Car Club of America was holding a performance driving school down in my hometown of Pueblo. And yeah, that was bad-ass. The main focus, at least for us beginners, was just getting us to learn to work the track properly. Follwing "the line," apexing at the right time, proper braking, weight transfer, etc. Just taking all sorts of basics and puttig them together to work our way up to being able to drive fast and well. So that meant that things started out slowly, but by the end of the day, I was getting up some good speeds. Not 130 mile-an-hour speeds, but still pretty fast, and doing most of it where Bimmers excel -- in the turns.

If you've got a decent car, I'm telling you: get yourself some performance rubber (if you don't already have it) and hit the track. That's a solid way to spend a day. It's nice because your only concern is one that you normally have when you're driving like a shithead -- not fucking up your car. Otherwise, though, you can be as fast and aggressive as you want without the consequences or hazards of normal street driving, and that's neat.

Part of the driving school was classroom instruction, and that was worth it just for the horror stories we got to hear, like one incident that the instructor had recently seen. Someone was flying through a corner in their 911, and they ended up sliding off the track sideways into a wall. And they did it with such force that the engine was ejected from the car. In the words of Oak Express, that's not natural. But I'm sure they were able to fix that car up. Then there was the story about a guy who had gotten one of the first E36 M3s (the E36 3-series being the generation preceding mine), and while on the track he got off a bad shift, doing something like going into second when he meant to go into fourth -- a so-called "money shift." Needless to say, that was the end of that engine. The amusing part, though, was that since it was one of the first E36 M3 cars out there, BMW's engineers were very anxious to get their hands on the destroyed engine, so they cut the guy a deal on a new engine.

Luckily, I have no horror stories to tell from this outing. The worst I came away with was things that were expected -- like brake and tire tread wear. And speaking of the tires, yeah, those things are fucking great. They definitely saved me a time or two when I came into a turn a little too hot. There was one time that the instructor who was riding along with me was even impressed at how much grip they had. It's sad, though, because I'm going to have to swap tires here in a little over a week now that the cold weather is starting to set in. My snow tires, Pirelli SnowSport 240s, aren't too bad in terms of grip, but of course they're not the Bridgestone Potenzas I'm running on in warm weather. I don't wanna have to move anywhere at this point in time, but if I've actually sat there thinking that if I was ever compelled to move somewhere like the west coast or somewhere further south, it wouldn't be so bad because I could keep summer tires on year-round.

One of the best parts of the day was one where I wasn't even driving. After lunch, they had a session where the instructors drove us around the track in their cars, and I lucked out and got to ride in an E46 M3. Holy shit. The raw speed of that car combined with an experienced driver who could work the track well was quite a bit of fun. Well, okay, the first lap you're just kinda scared out of your mind even though you know that the driver knows what they're doing, and then after that it's just fun.

So yeah, that's my excitement for the time being. I would say that I pay way too much for that car, but it's so bloody entertaining that it's worth it to me. Hey, everyone's gotta have their hobbies. Some just make us bigger assholes than the rest.

Wow, I haven't posted shit lately. There are 11 posts currently on my front page. Remember when I could do 11 posts in a day? This is more on you than it is on me, though. You're not doing a good enough job of keeping me entertained, so I can't be bothered to post. Hey, motherfucker, I've got shit to do. Granted, here is my list of "shit" in no particular order: work, internet, drive. Although it's only three things, that's a pretty significant amount of time. I actually do work, and since it's been one shitstorm after another that only I can handle at work, that's just killing me. It wouldn't be so bad if not for that whole internet problem, but, you know. Well, you probably don't, and that's better for you. Driving I'll get to in a minute. Just to get caught up, here's some random shit I've been thinking of commenting on but haven't, so we'll just go lightning round on everything's ass.

This Supreme Court bullshit. Personally, I think it's pretty funny. I mean, once I strip away the fact that these shitheads are all going to fuck up our lives. But that's just a given with Team Bush in charge. Seriously, though, what is funnier than how pissed conservatives are over Harriet Miers? I have built my life on being a spoiled little brat, but I have never seen anyone who can push being spoiled as far as conservatives. They don't get exactly what they want, and they start pissing and moaning. "We don't know how she's gonna vote!" She's a fucking evangelical Christian. A Bush crony. Shit, she calls Bush the most brilliant man she's ever met. She's an idiot who clearly doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, so she's bound to vote the way that you want her to, you stupid shitheads. "She's unqualified!" Of course she's unqualified -- she's a Bush appointee! So yeah, it's not good, but I say just let her pass. Even with as bad of a choice as this is, I think we got off relatively light. Scalia isn't Chief Justice, and they didn't find Scalia Jr. to fill the other seat (even if she might end up just as bad). Oh, and if Ann Coulter is flaming pissed, fuck it. It's worth it just for that.

It's also funny to see TB floundering like it is these days. People are pissed about the war (way to get your ass to the table, America... It's only been a couple of years). Ratings are low. Half of the Republican party is a bunch of walking malcontents over the Miers nomination. The prosecutor that Bush fucking picked might indict Rove and/or Scooter Libby (any grown man who chooses to go by "Scooter" is already guilty of a capital crime in my book). Hurricane Katrina. I know it's not going to happen, and that they're gonna get out of and away with it all, but it'd be so much fun to watch them just fucking implode. Man, what great leaders. It's a shame we haven't had any recent chances to make changes in our so-called leadership. But that's on the Democrats for fielding someone who should have been on the practice squad and not the starting quarterback.

The World Series. Every fucking year, it gets worse as to who I want to see lose more. This year, Houston and the fucking Sox. I have to hate Houston for myriad reasons, chief among them the fact that they're Houston. Fuck Texas. And Roger Clemens. Also, being a Cubs fan, I have to hate everyone else in the NL Central anyway. But on the other hand, I don't want to see a championship come to Chicago if it's because of the fucking south-siders. How lame is that? Once the riots start, I hope they at least burn down the Sears Tower. The 'Cock for life.

I'm gonna break the driving shit into another post, because I all know how much you love it when I talk about my car.