Fuck yes.

Have your own fun here.

Bitch, shut the fuck up. Seriously. First off, why the fuck is anyone still talking to this woman? Please just let her go away now, thanks.

"I know that a lot of people are capitalizing on, oh I don’t know, perhaps some exploiting that was done via me, my family, my administration — that’s a little bit perplexing, but it also says a great deal about our society.”

Huh? Shut the fuck up, cunt.

"The mama grizzly rises up in me, hearing things like that," she said of a skit. "Here again, cool, fine come attack me. But when you make a suggestion like that that attacks a kid, it kills me."

What? That wasn't an attack on your kid, that was an attack on you, dumbass. But using your kid to try and stir up sympathy for your misplaced or false indignation? That's exploitation. That's despicable.

In the wide-ranging interview, Palin also faulted the McCain campaign for agreeing to a series of sit-downs with Couric after the first one appeared to go so poorly.

Yeah man, fuck them for having confidence in you and thinking you could pull your shit together and answer simple questions like "what newspapers do you read?" They should have recognized you're a moron and put you in hiding, which they more or less were doing at some points. Speaking of the literacy debacle:

“To me the question was more along the lines of, ‘Do you read, what do you guys do up there, what is it that you read?’”

Ummm, yeah, pretty much. But of course, Couric clearly asked quesions like that to trip you up because, unlike the McCain campaign people, apparently, she recognized that you are a blithering idiot.

"... Katie, you’re not the center of everybody’s universe," Palin added off-handedly.

Haha yeah what a bitch Couric is for thinking that.

“I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled, and if she will be handled with kid gloves or if she will be under such a microscope,” she said.

“It’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out and I think that as we watch that we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here, also that was such a factor in the scrutiny of my candidacy versus, say, the scrutiny of what her candidacy may be," she also said.

What? You were going to be -- since McCain could very easily die soon -- just a couple of years away from being President of the United States. There is just no useful comparison between that and a U.S. senator.

There is a class issue here, Sarah, and the class you are in is one of dumb whiny bitches who, again, just need to shut the fuck up and go the hell away now.

Okay this is still pretty funny but I like our version better.

Holy crap this is fucking awesome.

Okay, two things before we get on with this post:

1. The follwing link is not NSFW. Wait, I have serious trouble with double negatives. Let me rephrase. The follwing link is NSFW. I worry that someone out there doesn't know what NSFW means and will lose their job for clicking my link and then come and kill me so I will clarify: the following link is not safe for work, or you know what fuck you if you don't know what NSFW means by now you deserve to be fired anyway.
2. This is probably just for the guys, or at very least, people close in age to me.

Anyway, please tell me in the comments, so I can see if you think like I do (in other words, if you are fucked up like me): what pisses you off about this?

I'm telling you, man, Burris has the smile.

Dude is that Jen's dad?

Well, at least Blagojevich's pick to replace Obama is modest. I don't understand this shit at all. Two things:

1. Blagojevich has to be either the most arrogant motherfucker ever, or the most ignorant. Or both. I mean, to be as blatant as he was about the shit he was up to, in Illinois of all places, and even after getting caught continually acting like nothing is going on? And then there's the fact that pretty much everyone who has a say in it is swearing up and down to do what they can to shoot this nomination down? WTF?
2. Why would anyone accept this nomination? You'd hafta be as willfully ignorant as Blagojevich to not realize that people are forever gonna question your integrity after being his pick. This nomination has more taint than the space between my nutsack and asshole.

This is basically me, once I am also in hell.

Just some random images I have come across online:

This joke is 11 years old. As is this one. First I laugh, then I cry.

Goddammit I wish I'd been in Vegas for this.

If you haven't seen this, prepare for one of the most amazing and most creepy things you have ever seen. Vid here.

Interesting that a guy who, I think, is Vietnamese decides to make his 'bot Japanese. I mean, that's probably what I'd do, but that's just 'cause I'd wanna dress her up in a sailor schoolgirl uniform and that's creepy and if it's something I'd do then no one else should be doing it. Anyway.

The best part? I read a third article on this dude, which I do not have the link on hand for, where it said that he lives with his parents. Was there ever more of a lock than for this guy to still be living at home, working on his paraplegic android in their basement? Do you think they are more or less ashamed than other parents who have a 33-year-old son living at home when they hear strange noises coming from downstairs and they know it's because he's building a fucking artificial woman? For fucking?

He had planned to make an android to care for the elderly.

C'mon now. If by "the elderly" you mean "your dick" then yeah.

Aurora borealis? More like aurora bonealis. Huh? Huh? Hey-OOOOO!

Booooo...

Okay, best I could come up with on short notice. Anyway.

"Usually it starts slowly as kind of a hazy greenish color -- like a mist -- building up in frequency dancing across the sky ... and to me that's religion," said photographer Dave Brosha of Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, who's seen more than 100 Canadian auroras.

OK, it looks really pretty and all, but your religion is officially as stupid as everyone else's.

But yeah, beautiful natural phenomena and hard-core fucking. What more do you need? What, too subtle for you?

"Having sex under the northern lights -- it's an awesome experience," Karl said. "Have you ever been out in nature at 35 below zero with northern lights bouncing over your head and your bare ass? Well, you need to try it."

Nice.

If you are in need of killing some time, might i suggest ratethisasian.com?

A blog whose name speaks for itself: Stuff White People Like.

So much more awesome than it needs to be:


Courtesy of DRGBLZ. I literally had to have that spelled out for me. I was like, Dragon Ball Z? WTF?

Epic

Okay, so I don't know how I never saw this before, but now I have.

That voice just shouldn't be coming from that guy... Err kid. Whatever. And this is coming from me, a guy whose voice could easily be mistaken for that of a 6'5" black guy if you just heard it over the phone. I am 5'3" and decidedly not black.

Once you have watched that, you need to see this. I haven't had sex in a very long time, but I think watching that was better than sex. Either way I laughed so hard that I had trouble breathing, even if it was a bit heavy-handed on the homophobic language.

So you remember my original dilemma with eHarmony. As it turns out, I was totally right -- they are a bunch of fucking homophobes.

"Even though we believed that the complaint resulted from an unfair characterization of our business, we ultimately decided it was best to settle this case with the attorney general, since litigation outcomes can be unpredictable," eHarmony attorney Theodore B. Olson said.

The bullshit all speaks for itself, but one question: what the fuck is the former Solicitor General of the United States doing working for eHarmony?

This is awesome. Extra awesome that she's a freaking knuckleballer. Yeah, we all know how I feel about young girls in specific and women in general playing baseball, but let's try to set aside the pervert shit for a minute. This is awesome for two reasons:

1. Two years until she's legal. 'Cause, you know, that's relevant -- two years from now I'm on it.
2. Unlike the 11-year-old from a couple years back, this girl is only five feet tall. Nice.

Wait, what?

Be proud, be white, be lame, and get the fuck off the dance floor.

For a minute there I thought I'd shit my pants, but as it turns out it was just a trailer for Go Bots: Battle of the Rock Lords.

Oh, and you know what else? But first they'll have to get through PLAYERS!!!

Some people just need to die. Seriously, anyone who does something like that is just gonna grow up to be a serial killer anyway, so let's kill this kid now and thus save some people and more importantly some small animals some grief.

Anyone expecting some other kind of punchline clearly has not been here before and is therefore unaware that I just completely lose my shit over cute things like kittens and as such get very unhappy when I see things like this.

Indy Racing League

If your second life is orders of magnitude more bankrupt than my real life then it's probably a good reflection of your real life and you should kill yourself. I am too fucking tired right now to get all that pissed so some of you out there will hafta get pissed on my behalf and I'll make up for it later.

Hungry like the wolf

I just figured it out. I figured out how I'm gonna hit it big. I'm gonna make a porno. The theme of it will be chicks who do DVDA while they suck a cock. The title? Five-Tool Player.