Yahoo search:
cnn porn sick dog
Wow, the liberal media has gotten really.. Liberal.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
I am a huge whore
So Fe has gone commercial. Sorta. Just like when we "went commercial" with the Fe store that no one ever buys anything from. Anyway, I got an e-mail from the guy who runs JList (a place where some of my money has gone in the past, as some of you may recall), and he wanted me to put up an ad for JList on my site. So, after dicking around for I don't know how long in typical BLM fashion, I finally went ahead and did it. Shouldn't be too obtrusive, but let me know if it's fucked up in terms of where it is on the sidebar. It's right where I want it in Mozilla, and I'm too lazy to fire up Windows to see if it's where it should be in IE. Also, from what I've seen, the randomly rotating ad occasionally shows a product with nudity. If this is some kind of issue for people at work, we can figure something out.
I'm not getting any ad revenue out of this, but instead a link back which I think might be more useful since I don't really get what you'd call a ton of hits here (or maybe I just fell for it). Sure, traffic has been coming on like gangbusters lately (to the tune of 150-200 hits a day) for some reason despite hardly posting, but those are mostly Google related. If traffic does start becoming decent due to things other than random pedophiles or dogfuckers looking for porn, I might consider mixing in some Google ads or something else (probably on the sidebar as well) to see if it actually generates any money (which it probably won't). Rest assured, I have no plans to put up annoying banner ads, unless of course if annoying banner ads could make me decent money. Either way, they won't be like the ones that have been in the guestbook (which I have no control over unless I want to pay for a guestbook, which I don't and won't), again, unless of course if said ads would also make me money.
I'm not getting any ad revenue out of this, but instead a link back which I think might be more useful since I don't really get what you'd call a ton of hits here (or maybe I just fell for it). Sure, traffic has been coming on like gangbusters lately (to the tune of 150-200 hits a day) for some reason despite hardly posting, but those are mostly Google related. If traffic does start becoming decent due to things other than random pedophiles or dogfuckers looking for porn, I might consider mixing in some Google ads or something else (probably on the sidebar as well) to see if it actually generates any money (which it probably won't). Rest assured, I have no plans to put up annoying banner ads, unless of course if annoying banner ads could make me decent money. Either way, they won't be like the ones that have been in the guestbook (which I have no control over unless I want to pay for a guestbook, which I don't and won't), again, unless of course if said ads would also make me money.
Oh wait, I'm sorry, intelligent design is based on some things after all: pseudo-reasoning along with out-and-out bullshit.
You know, Darwin himself could show up tomorrow and say "Hey, guys, you know what? I led you all on the completely wrong path, just as a joke. Sorry about that," and belief in creationism would still be stupid.
I also find amusement in the term "intelligent design." Well, amusement right after the anger over such a bullshit euphemism. Intelligent design? I'm an engineer; I can show you some guys who are capable of intelligent design. But if God really designed all of this shit -- complete with things like wars, disease, pollution, poverty, and no real sense of justice in the world -- then he is a fucking retard and his bullshit "design" couldn't win a 3rd grade science fair.
Oops, science? What the hell am I talking about? It's not like there's any study or proof to back any of that shit up; it's just all blind belief that you buy into because your parents and some child molester in a robe scared you into believing it. My bad.
A CBS/New York Times poll at the time of the election found 55% of Americans believed God created humans in their present form, 27% believed in evolution guided by God and only 13% believed God was not involved in human evolution. And 65% backed teaching creationism alongside evolution.
Yeah, and 100% of people are stupid. You have the people who believe in nonsense like creationism, and the rest of us who are too stupid to put an end to bullshit like that.
"Religion has nothing to do with intelligent design."
Either that, or, it has everything to do with it. I hate people who are so willing to lie through their fucking teeth like this. If we didn't have religion, this intelligent design shit would have never come about.
Does evolution explain every single fucking thing with no holes whatsoever? Well, no. But at least it's based on something. Intelligent design, on the other hand, says what? "Life on earth is too complex to have developed at random." That's pretty much it; there's nothing to back up or qualify the statement. Why does complexity automatically exclude randomness? Oh yeah, it doesn't. This is the kind of empty, meaningless, and ultimately unjustified kind of nonsense that you'd expect from a religious person. What it's really saying is "we're too dumb to even begin to understand this, so let's just punt and say that someone really powerful did it." Of course, this is part of how we got religion in the first place. We didn't get it, so we made shit up to comfort ourselves.
These people are so bloody small-minded that they cannot grasp the concept of things happening sloooooowwwwwwwwwwwlllllyyyyy over millions and billions of years. Many of them really seem to believe that evolutionists think that one day, suddenly and without provocation, a monkey gave birth to a modern human being. But, of course, these are the same dumbfucks who think that the whole earth was created in one week back in like 1922 or something. I don't know why I bother talking about this since anyone who agrees with this, well, already agrees with this, and anyone who doesn't never will. But if I didn't preach to the choir, I wouldn't have a 'blog. Not that there isn't something to be said for that.
I also find amusement in the term "intelligent design." Well, amusement right after the anger over such a bullshit euphemism. Intelligent design? I'm an engineer; I can show you some guys who are capable of intelligent design. But if God really designed all of this shit -- complete with things like wars, disease, pollution, poverty, and no real sense of justice in the world -- then he is a fucking retard and his bullshit "design" couldn't win a 3rd grade science fair.
Oops, science? What the hell am I talking about? It's not like there's any study or proof to back any of that shit up; it's just all blind belief that you buy into because your parents and some child molester in a robe scared you into believing it. My bad.
A CBS/New York Times poll at the time of the election found 55% of Americans believed God created humans in their present form, 27% believed in evolution guided by God and only 13% believed God was not involved in human evolution. And 65% backed teaching creationism alongside evolution.
Yeah, and 100% of people are stupid. You have the people who believe in nonsense like creationism, and the rest of us who are too stupid to put an end to bullshit like that.
"Religion has nothing to do with intelligent design."
Either that, or, it has everything to do with it. I hate people who are so willing to lie through their fucking teeth like this. If we didn't have religion, this intelligent design shit would have never come about.
Does evolution explain every single fucking thing with no holes whatsoever? Well, no. But at least it's based on something. Intelligent design, on the other hand, says what? "Life on earth is too complex to have developed at random." That's pretty much it; there's nothing to back up or qualify the statement. Why does complexity automatically exclude randomness? Oh yeah, it doesn't. This is the kind of empty, meaningless, and ultimately unjustified kind of nonsense that you'd expect from a religious person. What it's really saying is "we're too dumb to even begin to understand this, so let's just punt and say that someone really powerful did it." Of course, this is part of how we got religion in the first place. We didn't get it, so we made shit up to comfort ourselves.
These people are so bloody small-minded that they cannot grasp the concept of things happening sloooooowwwwwwwwwwwlllllyyyyy over millions and billions of years. Many of them really seem to believe that evolutionists think that one day, suddenly and without provocation, a monkey gave birth to a modern human being. But, of course, these are the same dumbfucks who think that the whole earth was created in one week back in like 1922 or something. I don't know why I bother talking about this since anyone who agrees with this, well, already agrees with this, and anyone who doesn't never will. But if I didn't preach to the choir, I wouldn't have a 'blog. Not that there isn't something to be said for that.
That's okay, it was all worth it, and, well, no it wasn't. This isn't really news for anyone who's been paying attention for awhile, plus I still can't get excited one way or another about politics, but figured it was worth posting since the whole WMD bullshit was part of what started this 'blog. Still, it's fucking sad to see the most powerful nation in the world having fucked itself just so it could run a bunch of "wild goose chases."
Return to prominence
Okay, we may as well get this over with. I was about to stop posting entirely (for awhile longer) just to spite someone who told me I needed to post, but I also don't want ETP to have to keep using code phrases like "your recent purchase" in anticipation of an upcoming "big post."
So guess what, everyone? You don't have to hear anymore bullshit about the 3 Series I want to get. Now, should I care enough to post, you're going to have to hear about my 3 Series. Yeah, that's right: it's Bimmertime.
My name's Bitter Little Man. I drive a Bimmer.
So I initially wrote up this huge post about the saga of Project 3 Series over the past few months, but it really wasn't all that funny. If anyone really wants to hear about it, just say the word, and everyone else can blame you, not me, for the post that ensues. It's pretty much ready to go as we speak.
After an aborted attempt to satisfy my spoiled desires back in December, I finally just went for it last weekend. The low-down:
BMW 330i
Imola red exterior
Black leather
Performance Package (ZHP)
Cold weather package (ZCW)
Aluminum silver cube trim
Xenon (HID) headlamps
Six. Speed. Manual.
I probably don't need to say this, but I like the new ride better than everything and nearly everyone. What have you done for me lately? Nothing. What has the car done for me lately? Guess.
I think your typical 330 driver is changing for the better. And by "changing for the better," I mean "staying exactly the same."
Here's a breakdown of why I chose what I chose. This will give even more true insight as to how big of an asshole and just how bad and shallow of a person I am.
When BMW dropped lease rates (yes, I'm leasing) back in December, I was like "Hey, fuck the 325, I can swing a 330!" So that was the end of the 325. Project 3 Series became Project 330. Then I test drove cars that had the ZHP. ZHP stands for "Zee HorsePowaaaa!!!." Either that, or all of BMW's packages start with "Z" and are followed by a two-letter acronym, and "ZPP" was already taken by the premium package. Project 3 Series became Project ZHP.
The ZHP is beyond fun. It trades a bit of the luxury and elegance of the regular 3 Series (hereafter referred to by its German designation, 3er, to save typing whenever I feel like it) and turns it into, as BMW's literature says, an "aggressive 'sport car'". Modest changes to the engine for more horsepower and torque, an exclusive color (the Imola) and fabric available along with exclusive trims, a slick-as-shit M3-esque body kit, some nice 18" wheels, a short-throw shifter, and other things to distinguish it from the rest of the 330 offerings make it a perfect compromise.
I initially wasn't going to get the ZHP because -- horror! -- you can't get it from the factory with wood trim. For awhile, I was wedded to getting an Oxford green exterior with bullshit wood trim inside. Relationships change, because...
It's not just the luxury, it's the performance.
I all but gave up on wood trim after I had a damn-near religious experience driving a car with the ZHP. I mean, seriously, after that test drive, I wasn't the same. I was changed. And it was even a shitty automatic! Then ETP and I drove a ZHP with a six-speed, and it was all over. Anything less would be shit. ETP wouldn't respect anything less, and I'd rather drive the Civic until the end of time before getting anything less. So I didn't settle for less.
The ZHP is fast. Not, say, WRX STi fast, but pretty damn good for a sedan turned aggressive sport car. The theoretical 0-60 of about six seconds is good enough for me. Oh, and it sounds really nice thanks to the throatier engine and exhaust. The suspension is delightfully tight (I'll dispense with any jokes about underage girls here, and, fuck, there goes that), but still giving a ride that's not too rough on normal roads. The front, side, and rear underbody spoilers and 18" wheels look great, even if they now have me terrified of curbs (broken front spoiler) and huge potholes (bent rims). And the Imola red color is just perfect.
235 horsepower standard (for the biggest assholes).
Getting the cold weather package was a no-brainer, since I wanted heated front seats and a fold-down rear seat (which, as I've said before, is sadly an option). The headlight washers are a nice bonus.
So, in addition to getting a car that only assholes drive, getting the "fast" 330, and getting it in red, why am I so shallow and such a huge prick? Well, I haven't talked about leather or xenons, have I?
At first, I was just going to get the base upholstery for the ZHP -- a combination of cloth and Alcantara (a suede-like material). It's a pretty nice setup, it's unique amongst the 330 sedans in that only the ZHP has it, and it doesn't cost extra like leather. But the thing is, I didn't want anyone to be able to look down on me for getting a Bimmer, considered a luxury (or at least near or entry level luxury) car, without leather seats. I didn't want to have to explain to any passengers why I have cloth instead of leather in my car. I did not want any inferiority complexes with my new car. So I got leather.
One night I was driving down highway 36, and all of a sudden some bright-ass lights appeared in my rear-view. I'm saying to myself "Who the hell is this fuck?" And then a short time later, the fuck with the bright lights blows past me, and I see that he's driving -- what else? -- a 3er. I wanted to be that guy, that asshole. So I got Xenons.
So yeah, that's it. Project3 Series 330 ZHP is now finished. Now we're on to discretionary spending: off. Which is fine. Like I said a few months back, I could either have a bunch more toys, games, DVDs, porn, and photobooks, or I could have the Ultimate Driving Machine. Silly me chose the Ultimate Driving Machine.
Now, really, all I have to do is plan for the inevitable future where I get laid off and get totally fucked, but until then, we have some fun. We have fun driving, and when not driving, occasionally going down to the garage just to LOOK AT IT!!!!!. Yup, I'm an asshole. I got a car based on reasons that were 50% image, and 50% suspension. But finally, I am the asshole I was always meant to be. Now, I have the tools, and I have the talent.
Price: way too goddamn much. Fuck your best offer.
So, what's next? Well, now we need to work on the Bimmerfication of those around me. BOETP is already set, as she's eyeing an X3 Special Victims Unit. ETP is thinking about a used M roadster (since the Z4 sucks ass and they don't even make an ///M version of it) or the beast that is the M5. Once that transition is finished, then look out, world. Look the fuck out. Self-entitled pretentious assholes are out in force (either that or parking our cars at one another's respective houses and then sitting around). Until then, we can make do with my ZHP, ETP's RSX-S, and, uh, BOETP looks good in the front seat of the RSX (learn to drive stick and set the Cavalier on fire and collect the insurance).
Oh, and you know what? Fuck that Audi I had for awhile. It doesn't even register anymore. For anyone curious, here and here are a couple of pictures of what my car looks like. That isn't my car, but it's the ZHP and the color I got (although the red looks better in person). Also, of course, there will be a different tool sitting in the driver's seat of mine.
Finally, I go in to change my voter registration later this week.
So guess what, everyone? You don't have to hear anymore bullshit about the 3 Series I want to get. Now, should I care enough to post, you're going to have to hear about my 3 Series. Yeah, that's right: it's Bimmertime.
My name's Bitter Little Man. I drive a Bimmer.
So I initially wrote up this huge post about the saga of Project 3 Series over the past few months, but it really wasn't all that funny. If anyone really wants to hear about it, just say the word, and everyone else can blame you, not me, for the post that ensues. It's pretty much ready to go as we speak.
After an aborted attempt to satisfy my spoiled desires back in December, I finally just went for it last weekend. The low-down:
BMW 330i
Imola red exterior
Black leather
Performance Package (ZHP)
Cold weather package (ZCW)
Aluminum silver cube trim
Xenon (HID) headlamps
Six. Speed. Manual.
I probably don't need to say this, but I like the new ride better than everything and nearly everyone. What have you done for me lately? Nothing. What has the car done for me lately? Guess.
I think your typical 330 driver is changing for the better. And by "changing for the better," I mean "staying exactly the same."
Here's a breakdown of why I chose what I chose. This will give even more true insight as to how big of an asshole and just how bad and shallow of a person I am.
When BMW dropped lease rates (yes, I'm leasing) back in December, I was like "Hey, fuck the 325, I can swing a 330!" So that was the end of the 325. Project 3 Series became Project 330. Then I test drove cars that had the ZHP. ZHP stands for "Zee HorsePowaaaa!!!." Either that, or all of BMW's packages start with "Z" and are followed by a two-letter acronym, and "ZPP" was already taken by the premium package. Project 3 Series became Project ZHP.
The ZHP is beyond fun. It trades a bit of the luxury and elegance of the regular 3 Series (hereafter referred to by its German designation, 3er, to save typing whenever I feel like it) and turns it into, as BMW's literature says, an "aggressive 'sport car'". Modest changes to the engine for more horsepower and torque, an exclusive color (the Imola) and fabric available along with exclusive trims, a slick-as-shit M3-esque body kit, some nice 18" wheels, a short-throw shifter, and other things to distinguish it from the rest of the 330 offerings make it a perfect compromise.
I initially wasn't going to get the ZHP because -- horror! -- you can't get it from the factory with wood trim. For awhile, I was wedded to getting an Oxford green exterior with bullshit wood trim inside. Relationships change, because...
It's not just the luxury, it's the performance.
I all but gave up on wood trim after I had a damn-near religious experience driving a car with the ZHP. I mean, seriously, after that test drive, I wasn't the same. I was changed. And it was even a shitty automatic! Then ETP and I drove a ZHP with a six-speed, and it was all over. Anything less would be shit. ETP wouldn't respect anything less, and I'd rather drive the Civic until the end of time before getting anything less. So I didn't settle for less.
The ZHP is fast. Not, say, WRX STi fast, but pretty damn good for a sedan turned aggressive sport car. The theoretical 0-60 of about six seconds is good enough for me. Oh, and it sounds really nice thanks to the throatier engine and exhaust. The suspension is delightfully tight (I'll dispense with any jokes about underage girls here, and, fuck, there goes that), but still giving a ride that's not too rough on normal roads. The front, side, and rear underbody spoilers and 18" wheels look great, even if they now have me terrified of curbs (broken front spoiler) and huge potholes (bent rims). And the Imola red color is just perfect.
235 horsepower standard (for the biggest assholes).
Getting the cold weather package was a no-brainer, since I wanted heated front seats and a fold-down rear seat (which, as I've said before, is sadly an option). The headlight washers are a nice bonus.
So, in addition to getting a car that only assholes drive, getting the "fast" 330, and getting it in red, why am I so shallow and such a huge prick? Well, I haven't talked about leather or xenons, have I?
At first, I was just going to get the base upholstery for the ZHP -- a combination of cloth and Alcantara (a suede-like material). It's a pretty nice setup, it's unique amongst the 330 sedans in that only the ZHP has it, and it doesn't cost extra like leather. But the thing is, I didn't want anyone to be able to look down on me for getting a Bimmer, considered a luxury (or at least near or entry level luxury) car, without leather seats. I didn't want to have to explain to any passengers why I have cloth instead of leather in my car. I did not want any inferiority complexes with my new car. So I got leather.
One night I was driving down highway 36, and all of a sudden some bright-ass lights appeared in my rear-view. I'm saying to myself "Who the hell is this fuck?" And then a short time later, the fuck with the bright lights blows past me, and I see that he's driving -- what else? -- a 3er. I wanted to be that guy, that asshole. So I got Xenons.
So yeah, that's it. Project
Now, really, all I have to do is plan for the inevitable future where I get laid off and get totally fucked, but until then, we have some fun. We have fun driving, and when not driving, occasionally going down to the garage just to LOOK AT IT!!!!!. Yup, I'm an asshole. I got a car based on reasons that were 50% image, and 50% suspension. But finally, I am the asshole I was always meant to be. Now, I have the tools, and I have the talent.
Price: way too goddamn much. Fuck your best offer.
So, what's next? Well, now we need to work on the Bimmerfication of those around me. BOETP is already set, as she's eyeing an X3 Special Victims Unit. ETP is thinking about a used M roadster (since the Z4 sucks ass and they don't even make an ///M version of it) or the beast that is the M5. Once that transition is finished, then look out, world. Look the fuck out. Self-entitled pretentious assholes are out in force (either that or parking our cars at one another's respective houses and then sitting around). Until then, we can make do with my ZHP, ETP's RSX-S, and, uh, BOETP looks good in the front seat of the RSX (learn to drive stick and set the Cavalier on fire and collect the insurance).
Oh, and you know what? Fuck that Audi I had for awhile. It doesn't even register anymore. For anyone curious, here and here are a couple of pictures of what my car looks like. That isn't my car, but it's the ZHP and the color I got (although the red looks better in person). Also, of course, there will be a different tool sitting in the driver's seat of mine.
Finally, I go in to change my voter registration later this week.
Since, for the moment, I'm down with posting, there was a strory last week about a guy who is suing Fear Factor because he's claiming that an episode in which the contestants were forced to eat rats made him throw up. I know what you're thinking already, so be sure to carefuly read this so that you can see the extra special twist. Hopefully you won't have a seizure/outburst like ETP did when I brought it up at lunch one day, but if you do, it's perfectly understandable.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
The only thing I find irritating about this is knowing that people actually cared about it. "Hey look! I'm turning someone's lights on and off over the internet!" How bankrupt does your life have to be to... Ah, fuck it. Christmas: it brings out the stupid in all of us.
One of these days I'm going to invent a device that we're going to start implanting in (nearly) all people. The device will be designed to explode whenever it senses that they're doing something really stupid. And by "whenever it senses that they're doing something really stupid" I mean "randomly." C'mon, you know it's still going to have a pretty good hit rate in terms of the original design specs considering how retarded humanity is.
One of these days I'm going to invent a device that we're going to start implanting in (nearly) all people. The device will be designed to explode whenever it senses that they're doing something really stupid. And by "whenever it senses that they're doing something really stupid" I mean "randomly." C'mon, you know it's still going to have a pretty good hit rate in terms of the original design specs considering how retarded humanity is.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Hey, I hate to be redundant with my posting, but I'm going to make this two posts in a row about Ghastly's Ghastly Comic. Why? Because this guy is a fucking genius. There are a ton of strips I've come across in the archive that are just bloody fantastic, but this one is beyond everything.
If you'd like an introduction to Drunk and Bitter Jesus, check out this strip. Or for a continuation, go here. If you're wondering what the fuck "furries" are, just go do a Google search. No, it's not some kind of bestiality thing (as far as I can tell) or necessarily even sexual (although I'm sure it goes that way for some of them, the fucking freaks) (Hey, I'm always accepting of other peoples' interests as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, but fuck it. May as well go after anyone I can. I mean, it's not like some dipshit in a moose costume is going to do anything about it.).
Also, a belated thanks for the holiday wishes a couple of commenters sent my way that I was previously too lazy to respond to. Sarah and Angie are alright, but the rest of you are assholes.
Finally, if you're wondering about the propriety of using "alright," suck on this.
If you'd like an introduction to Drunk and Bitter Jesus, check out this strip. Or for a continuation, go here. If you're wondering what the fuck "furries" are, just go do a Google search. No, it's not some kind of bestiality thing (as far as I can tell) or necessarily even sexual (although I'm sure it goes that way for some of them, the fucking freaks) (Hey, I'm always accepting of other peoples' interests as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, but fuck it. May as well go after anyone I can. I mean, it's not like some dipshit in a moose costume is going to do anything about it.).
Also, a belated thanks for the holiday wishes a couple of commenters sent my way that I was previously too lazy to respond to. Sarah and Angie are alright, but the rest of you are assholes.
Finally, if you're wondering about the propriety of using "alright," suck on this.
Friday, December 24, 2004
Hey, if you're into tentacle monster rape and 36-year-olds trapped in a child's body who only get hit on by pedophiles, then this comic is for you. Found this via Sexy Losers, which I've linked in the past and is full of crude sexual humor that's actually amusing (as opposed to, say, what you can find here).
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Holiday Cheer
Google search:
illegal underage fuck
Here's another class of search engine hits that I hate. No, not pedophiles -- I am sadly immune to that thanks to A) the sheer volume of them who stray here via search engines and B) who I am. No, I hate ones like this because they're redundant, and inefficiency like that pisses me off. Illegal underage fuck? Of course it's illegal, you fucking nimrod. That kinda goes with the whole "underage" thing. Pick your damn knuckles up off the carpet and put them back on your dick already.
Also, if anyone has figured out legal underage fuck, please let me know.
illegal underage fuck
Here's another class of search engine hits that I hate. No, not pedophiles -- I am sadly immune to that thanks to A) the sheer volume of them who stray here via search engines and B) who I am. No, I hate ones like this because they're redundant, and inefficiency like that pisses me off. Illegal underage fuck? Of course it's illegal, you fucking nimrod. That kinda goes with the whole "underage" thing. Pick your damn knuckles up off the carpet and put them back on your dick already.
Also, if anyone has figured out legal underage fuck, please let me know.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Oh, and in my absence, I hope you all went out and bought America (The Book) written by The Daily Show. And if you did buy it, I hope you read it. And if you did read it, I hope you read it again. Jesus, do I have to think of everything around here?
Because if you have to do it, it's, just... Life's not worth living.
I used to read BBspot pretty regularly, but as time went on I stopped keeping up as it got less and less funny (luckily Fe is immune to this fate). Back in the day, it had some really good stuff, like the Slashdot/Stile Project SiteBlender (scroll down a bit to get to the explanation and link to "Stiledot"). That was quite possibly the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. I was dying for I don't know how many minutes straight, with ETP and the future BOETP out in the living room of our Boulder apartment, probably having no clue as to what was going on (and not asking since we weren't exactly speaking at that point, but I digress).
Anyway, I do check BBspot every now and then, and there's always something amusing there, but it's just not like it used to be. I was disappointed to go there and find out that an almost regular feature, a comic called Fuzzy Logic, is no more. It didn't come as a real surprise since it started like three years ago and comics were few and far between (sometimes with months-long gaps between strips). I don't know if this was a planned conclusion or if the guy finally just said "fuck it" (and I'm not patient enough to go through the guy's news archives to find out), but it still sucks. Anyway, if you're looking for something that may or may not be fairly amusing to you, has a decent archive, and that you will not have to make a long-term running commitment to since it's done, I'd recommend checking it out (the beginning of the strip is at the bottom of the page I linked).
While we're at it, this here is one of my all-time favorite humor articles which I originally read at BBspot (although I'm pretty sure it actually belongs to the also-defunct SatireWire (also having an archive worth checking out)). Now that I've linked that and coupled it with this sentence, I'm free to make future jokes about what a world-renowned asshole Larry Ellison is for those unfamiliar with the prick without having to explain any jokes. Which, of course, I hate doing.
Anyway, I do check BBspot every now and then, and there's always something amusing there, but it's just not like it used to be. I was disappointed to go there and find out that an almost regular feature, a comic called Fuzzy Logic, is no more. It didn't come as a real surprise since it started like three years ago and comics were few and far between (sometimes with months-long gaps between strips). I don't know if this was a planned conclusion or if the guy finally just said "fuck it" (and I'm not patient enough to go through the guy's news archives to find out), but it still sucks. Anyway, if you're looking for something that may or may not be fairly amusing to you, has a decent archive, and that you will not have to make a long-term running commitment to since it's done, I'd recommend checking it out (the beginning of the strip is at the bottom of the page I linked).
While we're at it, this here is one of my all-time favorite humor articles which I originally read at BBspot (although I'm pretty sure it actually belongs to the also-defunct SatireWire (also having an archive worth checking out)). Now that I've linked that and coupled it with this sentence, I'm free to make future jokes about what a world-renowned asshole Larry Ellison is for those unfamiliar with the prick without having to explain any jokes. Which, of course, I hate doing.
Bad people
To help get you up to speed since I've been quiet again, here's a rundown of some of the things that ETP, BOETP, and I have done over the past couple of weeks:
- Made fun of someone who committed suicide (trust me, you would have, too)
- Made fun of someone who has leukemia (Ibid)
- Keeping in mind, of course, that many of the jokes revolved around the suicide and the leukemia
- Masturbated a lot (I can really only speak for myself here, but I can guess on his part)
- ETP and I went out and, ah, oh yeah, I'm not talking about that for awhile
- The three of us started working on our law degrees by once again experimenting with scotch
As we all know, I had Thanksgiving week off, and I proceeded to completely waste that week. Why the fuck am I talking about Thanksgiving week nearly a month later? Well, I've got this piece of shit in my drafts folder, and I want it the hell out of there.
Anyway, there were at least a few hours that week, though, where I had a semi-legitimate excuse for not doing something classically productive, and that was when I was busy experimenting with new software. Yeah, that's how cool I am; other people experiment with drugs and kinky sex things, and I experiment with software. Then afterwards I go do all that experimenting purely in my mind online with lonely men twice my age pretending to be girls half my age.
Anyway, one thing I decided to give another spin was Firefox, the other web browser produced by the Mozilla people. If you read Slashdot, you'll undoubtedly remember the time of the release of Firefox 1.0 when we saw the front page turned into nothing but one huge Firefox propaganda machine. Goebbels would have been proud. But of course, all the attention was well deserved. You did know that Firefox is actually the single greatest boon to mankind we've ever seen, right?
Well, actually, it isn't. Now, if you've been using Internet Explorer for awhile as your primary web browser, Firefox probably is just about as good as a cure for cancer to you (assuming you have cancer, that is). Compared to Firefox, Internet Explorer is just fucking unusable.
Being someone who primarily uses Mozilla and Netscape versions based on Mozilla, I found Firefox to be an unusable piece of shit. I like the principle behind Firefox -- a lean, fast, feature-rich browser. The problem is, compared to Mozilla, it's too lean. There are a lot of little things in Mozilla that I'm just used to, things that I can't lose without feeling as if I've lost a limb. Well, maybe not a limb, but a finger or a toe.
The first thing is that on the tab bar in Firefox, there's no "new tab" button at the far left. Yes, you can still double-click the tab bar to get a new tab, so what's the big fuckin' deal, bitch? Well, it's just one of those things that once you get used to it, you're used to it, and you don't want to give it up unless you have to. Now, you can get the "new tab" button in Firefox if you go and download an extension. But I shouldn't have to go and download an extension for something so goddamn basic.
Another thing that was intolerable is the personal toolbar. In Mozilla, not only do you have a bunch of quick links on the PT, but there's also a drop-down menu for all of your bookmarks. Again, you can just go up to the "Bookmarks" menu and get the list right there, but if you're used to it on the PT... Well, you're used to it. Things just feel wrong if it's not where it's "supposed" to be, especially if it's something you use constantly. I also couldn't find an easy way to get this functionality back; the closest I could get was an icon that opened up a list of bookmarks in a sidebar. I FUCKING HATE SIDEBARS.
Also, the bookmarks menu wouldn't keep place of where I was last time I was perusing the list. I tend to have a long list of unsorted bookmarks, and typically I want to go to one that's at the bottom of the list. Having to scan down through all the bookmarks I simply refuse to organize is simply not acceptable.
Fonts looked like fucking shit in a lot of places. At first I thought I had a version that was running without anti-aliased fonts, but I don't think that's what it was. Fonts just looked either A) weird or B) shitty. When I download Mozilla tarballs and unpack them, everything magically looks just like I want it to. But if Mozilla is set up via RPM or I'm running Firefox, things just look like shit. So I'm tired of fucking with that.
Fonts and font control have always been a sore spot with me, anyway. It seems like ever since the first Netscape, modifying the font preferences never seems to do a fucking thing. God, I hate that. If it doesn't do anything, don't bother putting it in there. If I wanted a placebo I'd start getting involved in pharmaceutical test studies. But shit, even people getting sugarpill sometimes at least think the "medication" is doing something, as opposed to worthless fucking browser font controls which I know do precisely nothing.
I didn't care for Firefox's text-box completion shit, either. I find it useful in the URL bar, but that's about the only place. Auto-complete gets real agitating anytime I'm at a search engine or something, trying to type out what I need to, and a fucking pop-down menu with a bunch of irrelevant shit shows up. I couldn't see an easy way to turn this off, but I didn't look too hard (not that there are a lot of config settings in the preferences to begin with, though) since my toying around with that came towards the end of my little foray into Firefox land.
Having the Google (or whatever engine you prefer) search on the main toolbar is almost a useful thing, but it's so small that after typing more than one word you can't see what you had already typed before. I much prefer to just click Mozilla's "search" button and go to the engine front page. You can also type in Google searches on the URL bar, but it's obnoxious doing that because it just feels wrong putting anything but a URL up there.
Then there were just some plain infuriating operational bugs. I was able to import things like bookmarks and stored passwords just fine from Mozilla, but Firefox decided it was just going to keep losing all of my stored passwords. After that happened about a million times, I just blew Firefox away and went back to happily using Mozilla.
I played around with Firefox about a year ago when it was known as Phoenix (and these are only two of about 80 names that the browser project has had), and the results were pretty much the same. Firefox made too many compromises (most of the ones I'm pissed over are just little shit that they could have left alone) from regular ol' Mozilla, and I just can't handle it. Yeah, so much of my grudge with Firefox is based on the fact that I've been a Mozilla user for a long time, and, like I said, I am just way too used to it. So Firefox is pretty much screwed with me unless they get a couple of things fixed (or at least easily configurable). I'm not holding my breath, since I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I was saying a year ago. Mozilla versus Firefox: Mozilla wins.
The other thing I wasted a bunch of time on that week was fucking with Fedora Core 3, but my bitching session on that got way out of hand and I don't even think it was the least bit amusing. So maybe I'll bust that out around the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday since I clearly don't give a shit if my posts are amusing anymore (not entirely true).
Anyway, there were at least a few hours that week, though, where I had a semi-legitimate excuse for not doing something classically productive, and that was when I was busy experimenting with new software. Yeah, that's how cool I am; other people experiment with drugs and kinky sex things, and I experiment with software. Then afterwards I go do all that experimenting purely in my mind online with lonely men twice my age pretending to be girls half my age.
Anyway, one thing I decided to give another spin was Firefox, the other web browser produced by the Mozilla people. If you read Slashdot, you'll undoubtedly remember the time of the release of Firefox 1.0 when we saw the front page turned into nothing but one huge Firefox propaganda machine. Goebbels would have been proud. But of course, all the attention was well deserved. You did know that Firefox is actually the single greatest boon to mankind we've ever seen, right?
Well, actually, it isn't. Now, if you've been using Internet Explorer for awhile as your primary web browser, Firefox probably is just about as good as a cure for cancer to you (assuming you have cancer, that is). Compared to Firefox, Internet Explorer is just fucking unusable.
Being someone who primarily uses Mozilla and Netscape versions based on Mozilla, I found Firefox to be an unusable piece of shit. I like the principle behind Firefox -- a lean, fast, feature-rich browser. The problem is, compared to Mozilla, it's too lean. There are a lot of little things in Mozilla that I'm just used to, things that I can't lose without feeling as if I've lost a limb. Well, maybe not a limb, but a finger or a toe.
The first thing is that on the tab bar in Firefox, there's no "new tab" button at the far left. Yes, you can still double-click the tab bar to get a new tab, so what's the big fuckin' deal, bitch? Well, it's just one of those things that once you get used to it, you're used to it, and you don't want to give it up unless you have to. Now, you can get the "new tab" button in Firefox if you go and download an extension. But I shouldn't have to go and download an extension for something so goddamn basic.
Another thing that was intolerable is the personal toolbar. In Mozilla, not only do you have a bunch of quick links on the PT, but there's also a drop-down menu for all of your bookmarks. Again, you can just go up to the "Bookmarks" menu and get the list right there, but if you're used to it on the PT... Well, you're used to it. Things just feel wrong if it's not where it's "supposed" to be, especially if it's something you use constantly. I also couldn't find an easy way to get this functionality back; the closest I could get was an icon that opened up a list of bookmarks in a sidebar. I FUCKING HATE SIDEBARS.
Also, the bookmarks menu wouldn't keep place of where I was last time I was perusing the list. I tend to have a long list of unsorted bookmarks, and typically I want to go to one that's at the bottom of the list. Having to scan down through all the bookmarks I simply refuse to organize is simply not acceptable.
Fonts looked like fucking shit in a lot of places. At first I thought I had a version that was running without anti-aliased fonts, but I don't think that's what it was. Fonts just looked either A) weird or B) shitty. When I download Mozilla tarballs and unpack them, everything magically looks just like I want it to. But if Mozilla is set up via RPM or I'm running Firefox, things just look like shit. So I'm tired of fucking with that.
Fonts and font control have always been a sore spot with me, anyway. It seems like ever since the first Netscape, modifying the font preferences never seems to do a fucking thing. God, I hate that. If it doesn't do anything, don't bother putting it in there. If I wanted a placebo I'd start getting involved in pharmaceutical test studies. But shit, even people getting sugarpill sometimes at least think the "medication" is doing something, as opposed to worthless fucking browser font controls which I know do precisely nothing.
I didn't care for Firefox's text-box completion shit, either. I find it useful in the URL bar, but that's about the only place. Auto-complete gets real agitating anytime I'm at a search engine or something, trying to type out what I need to, and a fucking pop-down menu with a bunch of irrelevant shit shows up. I couldn't see an easy way to turn this off, but I didn't look too hard (not that there are a lot of config settings in the preferences to begin with, though) since my toying around with that came towards the end of my little foray into Firefox land.
Having the Google (or whatever engine you prefer) search on the main toolbar is almost a useful thing, but it's so small that after typing more than one word you can't see what you had already typed before. I much prefer to just click Mozilla's "search" button and go to the engine front page. You can also type in Google searches on the URL bar, but it's obnoxious doing that because it just feels wrong putting anything but a URL up there.
Then there were just some plain infuriating operational bugs. I was able to import things like bookmarks and stored passwords just fine from Mozilla, but Firefox decided it was just going to keep losing all of my stored passwords. After that happened about a million times, I just blew Firefox away and went back to happily using Mozilla.
I played around with Firefox about a year ago when it was known as Phoenix (and these are only two of about 80 names that the browser project has had), and the results were pretty much the same. Firefox made too many compromises (most of the ones I'm pissed over are just little shit that they could have left alone) from regular ol' Mozilla, and I just can't handle it. Yeah, so much of my grudge with Firefox is based on the fact that I've been a Mozilla user for a long time, and, like I said, I am just way too used to it. So Firefox is pretty much screwed with me unless they get a couple of things fixed (or at least easily configurable). I'm not holding my breath, since I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I was saying a year ago. Mozilla versus Firefox: Mozilla wins.
The other thing I wasted a bunch of time on that week was fucking with Fedora Core 3, but my bitching session on that got way out of hand and I don't even think it was the least bit amusing. So maybe I'll bust that out around the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday since I clearly don't give a shit if my posts are amusing anymore (not entirely true).
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Daniel Pearl's wife on line one
Hey, I'm really sorry about your daughter and all, but fuck you people. Hey, I'm the last one to defend Wal-Mart (just ask ETP when he wants to go look for a cheap copy of Shaft, which we're not going to do), but they did do their fucking job on this. What, it's their fault the girl lied when she purchased the gun? I know, I know -- they should have checked their own records. What do you expect, for someone to actually go the extra mile on something? Especially when they're getting minimum wage? Shit, I've known people making well over an average salary who spent time bitching "Hey, that's not part of my job," so good luck getting fuckers at Wal-Mart to do it. Bottom line is, if they don't have to do it, they won't.
Look, no one should ever have to suffer through something as awful as this, unless of course if they really, really deserve it. I'm pretty sure we've been over this before, but just because something awful has happened to you doesn't mean that you're automatically entitled to get paid. When I see stuff like this, I don't know if it's wrought out of greed or just wanting to try and have to keep from facing a harsh reality or both. Both of which are perfectly understandable, by the way, but that doesn't make it any less shitty.
This story here is representative of quite possibly our biggest talent nowadays in this country: turning a tragedy into an even bigger travesty.
Look, no one should ever have to suffer through something as awful as this, unless of course if they really, really deserve it. I'm pretty sure we've been over this before, but just because something awful has happened to you doesn't mean that you're automatically entitled to get paid. When I see stuff like this, I don't know if it's wrought out of greed or just wanting to try and have to keep from facing a harsh reality or both. Both of which are perfectly understandable, by the way, but that doesn't make it any less shitty.
This story here is representative of quite possibly our biggest talent nowadays in this country: turning a tragedy into an even bigger travesty.
Hey, Rick Berman, can you hear me? Or shall I turn it up?
While we're talking Trek, I was reading this the other day, and I became infuriated. This is a non-issue. It was settled in the Deep Space Nine episode "Trials and Tribbleations." In that episode, they digitally inserted DSN actors into the Classic Trek episode "The Trouble With Tribbles." For those who don't know and/or don't care, that Classic episode involved the Klingons, and one of the DSN characters was Worf, a "modern" Klingon. In the episode, someone (I think it was Chief O'Brien) asks Worf why the Klingons there look different from him. Worf simply responds in his characteristic tone by saying "We do not speak of it." And that's it! They resolve the issue by completely ignoring the issue! It was fucking brilliant, and Enterprise, in all it's non-brilliance, has to go and fuck with that. Those fucking pieces of shit.
Piewagons
Hey, are you an ugly, pizza-faced loser living in your parents' basement who's looking for an equally ugly, tub-of-shit train wreck to spend your life with? Then this site's for you!
Hey, I figured if I was going to bother 'blogging ever again, I may as well get back into things with something mildly vicious and completely hypocritical. That's right, we gotta bust out some geek-on-geek crime. Okay, well, it's not completely hypocritical since -- while I am a Trekkie and a fucking loser and blah blah blah -- I am still way fucking better than those people. And I say this (for once) with a completely straight face. And that's just sad.
So, where have I been? 'Cause I know everyone cares. Well, I've been mad. You don't wanna know why and I don't wanna talk about it. You might find out in a few months at which point I should have all this bullshit resolved, but rest assured, it's unimportant. The edge of your seat should be pretty warm right about now, so get to it.
Hey, I figured if I was going to bother 'blogging ever again, I may as well get back into things with something mildly vicious and completely hypocritical. That's right, we gotta bust out some geek-on-geek crime. Okay, well, it's not completely hypocritical since -- while I am a Trekkie and a fucking loser and blah blah blah -- I am still way fucking better than those people. And I say this (for once) with a completely straight face. And that's just sad.
So, where have I been? 'Cause I know everyone cares. Well, I've been mad. You don't wanna know why and I don't wanna talk about it. You might find out in a few months at which point I should have all this bullshit resolved, but rest assured, it's unimportant. The edge of your seat should be pretty warm right about now, so get to it.
Monday, December 13, 2004
It's sad, because shit like this now looks pretty well-adjusted when it comes to Japan. Well, at least to me it does. The sickest thing I've ever seen out of Japan was something akin to Realdoll, AKA the most expensive masturbation toy ever. Some of you will be familiar with Realdoll if you've either A) been paying fucking attention around here or B) have a bunch of money and enjoy masturbating.
Anyway, the sick thing about the product I saw advertised wasn't just that it was for (somewhat) life-like sex dummies, it's that one of them was 110 cm tall, and another was 130 cm tall. That's (unless if I've fucked up my math, which is possible) 3'6" and 4'3". Keeping in mind, of course, that they're designed to be human sized, making them, yup, little girls. Naturally, they come in school uniforms (whether or not they come in school uniforms is, uh, nevermind). I don't know how anatomically correct they are, although one can guess since the "older" models have the right junk if I'm reading the diagrams correctly (yes, it's been a long time, but I can recognize cavities and canals with the best of 'em). Oh, and I can read enough of that bullshit chicken scratch they call a language to know that the 110 cm and 130 cm models are part of the "Lolita series."
No, I am not planning on getting one, Lolita series or otherwise.
Look, I'm not trying to say that Japan has problems, but I'm saying that Japan is nothing but a bunch of fucking pedophiles. Not that I can't get on board with that. And I suppose molesting a replica of a child is better than molesting an actual child, unless of course if the child is really asking for it.
Alright, that's pretty much all the posting you're getting out of me for the time being. I'm way too fucking pissed off right now, pissed off enough that I don't even feel like talking about it for a bunch of people who don't care.
Anyway, the sick thing about the product I saw advertised wasn't just that it was for (somewhat) life-like sex dummies, it's that one of them was 110 cm tall, and another was 130 cm tall. That's (unless if I've fucked up my math, which is possible) 3'6" and 4'3". Keeping in mind, of course, that they're designed to be human sized, making them, yup, little girls. Naturally, they come in school uniforms (whether or not they come in school uniforms is, uh, nevermind). I don't know how anatomically correct they are, although one can guess since the "older" models have the right junk if I'm reading the diagrams correctly (yes, it's been a long time, but I can recognize cavities and canals with the best of 'em). Oh, and I can read enough of that bullshit chicken scratch they call a language to know that the 110 cm and 130 cm models are part of the "Lolita series."
No, I am not planning on getting one, Lolita series or otherwise.
Look, I'm not trying to say that Japan has problems, but I'm saying that Japan is nothing but a bunch of fucking pedophiles. Not that I can't get on board with that. And I suppose molesting a replica of a child is better than molesting an actual child, unless of course if the child is really asking for it.
Alright, that's pretty much all the posting you're getting out of me for the time being. I'm way too fucking pissed off right now, pissed off enough that I don't even feel like talking about it for a bunch of people who don't care.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I just saw something on Blogger's sign-on page entitled "Learning Blogger." And I'm like, huh? How fucking hard it it to set up and write a 'blog? I can do it, and I'm damn near fucking retarded (yet I'm still smarter than a good number of people out there... a seemingly unresolved that paradox, until I realize just how goddamn dumb people are). When it comes to 'blogging, you click on some shit, type some other shit, and then put up a bunch of worthless crap that you think someone somewhere might care about even though no one does. But then once you look at the quality of most 'blogs out there, you do see that people need special help. Sure, there are a couple of people who can float, but for the most part the genre sucks. If they had me put together a how-to guide on 'blogging, it would be pretty short. Here's the by and large of my advice on 'blogging: don't.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Are we going to the zoo?
Google search:
"Why religion is stupid"
I of course want to be #1 for this one, but being #4 isn't horrid. If you do the same search on metacrawler, I'm #2. That's how someone originally got here, but I decided to try Google for the fuck of it and post that since, as we all know, Google is more authoritative because Google is god. Which brings kind of a religious aspect into it, which means that Google is stupid. Fuck Google.
Hey, just be glad I'm either not posting or simply posting (mostly) random meaningless crap, as opposed to droning on endlessly about Project 3-Series. Because, believe me, I could. Just ask ETP, and he'll tell you what a little bitch I am.
"Why religion is stupid"
I of course want to be #1 for this one, but being #4 isn't horrid. If you do the same search on metacrawler, I'm #2. That's how someone originally got here, but I decided to try Google for the fuck of it and post that since, as we all know, Google is more authoritative because Google is god. Which brings kind of a religious aspect into it, which means that Google is stupid. Fuck Google.
Hey, just be glad I'm either not posting or simply posting (mostly) random meaningless crap, as opposed to droning on endlessly about Project 3-Series. Because, believe me, I could. Just ask ETP, and he'll tell you what a little bitch I am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
