One thing I will never understand is why women who don't even know me keep asking me if I have a girlfriend. Okay, it's only been a few, but still. For someone who interacts socially with others as infrequently as I do, it's a significant number.

All you have to do it take about a half second to look at me before you can answer the question for yourself. And if you get to talking to me, then any doubts you shouldn't have even had will be removed. That's because you'll either get loudmouthed asshole "me" (the one you guys are familiar with), or, more likely, painfully shy and rather quiet "me."

Okay, I guess technically, they don't all "not know me." One person who keeps fucking asking the question that makes me want to just throw down with the razors right there is one of my grandmothers. But I've met her like four times in my entire life, and I don't even like her because she's kind of a flake, and a bitch. This is in sharp contrast to my other grandmother, who despite driving me nuts fucking kicks ass. But anyway, point being, I really don't know the first grandmother I mentioned, and I wish she'd stop asking, because the answer will always be the same.

I know what you might be thinking. "Hey, BLM, you fucking dumbass, maybe these women are interested in you." Yeah... no. One incident I can remember was my uncle's sister, who is kinda weird and was just asking because I'm beginning to think it's just something that women do. That, or it's the world's evil plot to make sure that I'm reminded of how much I suck.

Then there was this past weekend, where my co-workers and I went out for dinner. The dinner was company sponsored, so it was free, as in speech. Anyway, one of my co-worker's wives got to talking to me, and after a few minutes, I got the girlfriend inquiry. There was a nice twist this time, though, because then she starts talking up her sister who's apparently unmarried. From the sounds of it, she's trying to round up single guys for her sister, which I found amusing, especially since I apparently wasn't out of the running just yet. Of course, it was all just bullshit over-dinner conversation and nothing will come of it, but it was nice for six seconds since even my friends, the people who ostensibly think I have good qualities, have never tried hooking me up with anyone. That's partly because a good deal of my friends are social misfits like myself and know of no one to set me up with, but also because my friends are smart and they know that no woman is stupid enough or hard up enough to get stuck with me.

Also, as a side note, why the fuck is it that whenever an attractive woman actually gets to talking to me, she's attached? Like the wife from this weekend, or that one ex-cheerleader from that wedding about a month ago? God damn it. I know what it is - just one more funny joke making sure the bitter little man stays bitter.

Oh, and relax everyone. I'm not so self-centered as to think that the world in general or people in specific would actually take the time to try and piss me off personally. I know that ultimately, I have no girlfriend because I'm lazy, spineless, and have no confidence. And I'm ugly.

Anyway, this was partly just a post to be self-deprecating in a half-joking manner as I usually am, but also a post to ask: what up with that? Do any women out there do this asking about a girlfriend thing to guys they just met? If so, why? Why must you do this to us?