I saw a couple of ads today for Trojan Warm Sensations condoms. They're described as a condom that "releases gentle, warm sensations for both partners" that's "activated by natural body moisture." I think the slogan for this new product should be "Trojan Warm Sensations condoms: for when your partner is literally a frigid bitch."

Trojan man is kind of an asshole, too. You're about to get some, and then like clockwork, "TROJAN MAAAAAAN!" I'd of course be all sarcastic and shit, saying "Trojan Man! Good to see you!" Look, I know Trojan Man is trying to be a nice guy, helping bring you a jimmy since you once again "forgot." But couldn't he show up ahead of time and hand the rubbers out instead of arriving at just the right moment to kill everyone's buzz?

Not like this is an issue for me or anything seeing as how much poontang I get, but still. I'm just trying to help everyone else out since I'm such a nice guy.