I've been reading a bunch of articles on BMWs since my current bullshit pipedream is to get myself a 3-series. Something that's not going to happen for quite some time, what with the previously alluded to mortgage and all. Well, maybe I could pull it off if I manage to start living by the mantra of "You can have more toys and photobooks, or you can have the Ultimate Driving Machine." That, or, I get myself a girlfriend and put her to work like some people (good move, doode!).

I used to hate the 3-series, especially the hatchback. First off, I was like, fuck you, dooshe. You're just buying that car -- the-entry-level model -- because you can. If you really had the money you'd like everyone to think you have, you'd bust out at least a 5-series.

Secondly, I fucking hate BMW drivers because they all act like they own the road. Driving as aggressively as they want, never signalling, etc. "Oh, look at me, I'm all special. I have a BMW and I'm better than you are." This put them in a class similar to Acura Integra (coupe version and pre-RSX models) drivers, who are all assholes. I've been over that before.

Finally, I just never cared all that much for the look of BMWs. Yeah, they're undoubtedly fun to drive and well built, but they just don't look all that great.

The 3-series has grown on me over the years, though. A few years ago they came out with the current incarnation, which looks quite a bit like the prior model but has changed enough that I think it looks fucking good. Of course, I so totally WANT to be one of those pretentious assholes that think they own the road, seeing as how I'm already pushing that idea in my trusty Civic. Plus, me and my 3-series would make nice companions to ETP and his Flaming Asshole Red RSX Type-S. Like I said, the RSX driver doesn't have the asshole street cred that the Integra driver has, but I know ETP will be doing his best to bring back the pride. And hey, seeing as how they're coming out with the 1-series and 2-series, it's no longer "entry-level."

So where the hell was I going with this? Oh yeah. A bunch of the articles I read kept referring to BMWs as "bimmers." And I was like, what the fuck? Why are they spelling it like that? Why not "beamer" or "beemer"? Oh, that's why. Apparently, we can't get anything right in this country.