I went back and re-read last year's NDK wrapup, and man. Night and fucking day. I like how last year it was all happy and positive. This year? Not so much. Last year I had some nice things to say and talked about the fun we had. This year? ATTACK. Just go after everything we can -- even though we, for the most part, weren't there.

At NDK time last year, I was living at my parents' house, was driving a Civic, had no solid job, and had no friends. Right now, I own my own home (which the bank actually owns), I drive an Audi (which isn't mine), I have a "real" job (which I'm going to lose), and I have no friends (no qualifier needed). Despite the drastic improvement in (partially artificial) scenery, I'm pretty sure that I'm more bitter, more pissed off, and overall, just a bigger asshole than I was a year ago. I take great amusement in this fact. Being a dooshebag is just my natural state of being, so why fuck with it.

Anyway, let's get back to this con shit, if only for a moment. If you want to read an amusing NDK tale from someone who was actually at the con, you can check this out. See, that's the kind of shit the three of us would do if we had balls. Actually, I'll bet we'd do entertaining stuff like that if I had balls. But no, I just prefer to talk about people behind their backs, like a real man.

Whenever we get together and engage in some assholish activities, we end up asking: how did we get so bad? I blame myself. Now, I'm not saying that I'm any kind of ringleader or that ETP and BOETP just follow along with what I do, but I'm pretty sure that I have definite influence. I've known ETP for like half my life, and he's a good guy. I mean, he's a bad person; that's why we get along so well. But he's still a good guy. He'll spend five minutes trying to flag down a homeless guy to give that leftover slice of Gino's. Me, it's not necessarily that I don't want to help (although often times I just plain don't), it's that I won't because I'm afraid of people. Regardless of reason, the end result is the same. This, of course, is just one example. There are countless others.

As for BOETP, I haven't known her anywhere near as long, but I can't believe she's just naturally this bad. Sure, women can be vicious assholes -- one of the reasons I like 'em. But this is a completely different level.

Anyone remember the Beavis and Butthead X-mas special It's a Miserable Life? I think it's kinda like that, only nowhere near as extreme. Even if it is that extreme, I'd rather have ETP being a prick than being some total candy-ass in a Winger t-shirt.

I think the fact that I'm dragging everyone down is evident in what happens when I'm not around. They can get shit done when I'm not there, even if it's just something as simple as asking around to see who has sushi-grade fish. Again, just one illustrative scenario.

Umm, where the fuck am I going with this? Nowhere, really.