Quick, Ike, do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!

Fuck, am I gonna have to watch an episode of Rape Kit? In case if you don't wanna read the whole post to find out what the fuck I'm talking about, Wil Wheaton is going to play a role on an upcoming episode of CSI.

I will never understand the fascination with that show. First off, the title is wrong. Those people aren't crime scene investigators, they're the crime scene unit. They don't do anything except show up and get ordered by the detectives to run a rape kit. If you were watching a real show like Law & Order you'd know this already.

Second, I cannot stand the lead actor on the original CSI. Hey, check it out:

I could be that fucking guy on CSI! Where the hell is my inexplicably popular TV show? Actually, upon listening to that again, nevermind -- there was way too much life in my voice.

I caught all of the first six seconds of CSI: Miami the other night, and apparently, it's a requirement for all of the Rape Kit lead actors to be that way. David Caruso is completely lifeless as well, and I totally gave that show a fair shake. Or maybe he always sucked that bad and I didn't know it because I didn't watch Cop Drama.

I'm almost tempted to take in an episode of CSI: NY since Gary Sinise (no relation to Arliss) was at least cool at one point, but it probably won't happen. Now go put on your "CSU" windbreaker and run a rape kit while we stand around and make fun of the victim!