Hey, you know what? Maybe we should be encouraging teens to take abstinence pledges after all.

Look, I know this is coming from the liberal media blah blah blah, but c'mon. You spread institutionalized ignorance and kids are going to fuck up even worse than is expected of them. I've been over this issue too many times before, and while that usually doesn't stop me, I'm way too tired to get it on right now. You'll just have to come up with your own non-wit and uninsightful commentary with the standard jokes about underage girls mixed in for good measure.