Okay, I'm sorry to have to bring this up here, but I need to make a comment about the Michael Jackson ordeal. Can we take the parents of the boy who originally accused Jackson of molesting him (and who was later paid off) and put them on trial for being the worst parents ever? A grown (and ostensible) man is fucking crying to sleep in the same bed as your young son. I dunno about anyone else, but I think that would send up a few flares in my mind.

By the fall of 1993, the mother testified she became concerned.

Way to clue in, bitch. Shouldn't it be a concern way, way earlier when an older, uh, man (it really is hard to say that since we don't know what the fuck Michael is anymore) is sleeping with your son? Or when he's giving you money and gifts and taking you on trips and shit? The buttering up your family while sleeping with your son probably aren't related or anything. And, oh, fuck, I shouldn't have used the phrase "buttering up," because now I didn't need that. But neither did you, so at least I'm not alone. Anyway, I don't know what I consider a bigger crime; being dumb enough to fall for that so someone could molest your son, or being someone who allowed themselves to be bought off so that their son could be molested. The way I see it, they're guilty of at least one of those two things. And, hey, they did take cash for eventually dropping their suit against Jackson.

Yes, I know, allegedly. Nothing's been proven yet, blah blah blah. But hasn't Michael Jackson admitted that he sleeps in the same bed with little boys? He either said that he did it or that he thinks it would be ok to do it. If he actually has admitted to doing it, that's at least really weird if not completely fucking illegal. Like I've said before, Michael needs to go away because he's for sure guilty of creeping me the fuck out. Or you know what? Maybe Carlin was right when he was talking about how we should just let some really talented people off the hook: "I don't care if he freaked off with a couple of kids. Let the man dance."