Google search:

Different ways for men to mastubate

Okay, I'm tired of getting hits like this one, so I'm going to do something about it in hopes that Google will start pointing people to this post. This won't stop the hits, but at least it might prove useful to someone. If you can't figure out how to beat off, or you have run out of new things to try, check out this site (find the "techniques" link once you get to the main page) or this site. If you're wondering why I happen to have links, uh, handy that are related to jerking off, you must be new here.

Here's one technique that many find amusing: get your hand to fall asleep and then beat off so that it feels like someone else is doing it. No, I've never tried that one, mainly since I can never get my hand to fall asleep on purpose.