Speaking of dangers to kids, we definitely don't want to get them into any kind of dangerous behaviors like reading. Okay, the fact that it gets kids reading aside, this Harry Potter shit has got to stop. Anyone, anywhere, getting too excited over anything -- be it football, Harry Potter, some shitty band, Star Trek (shit, especially Star Trek), whatever -- needs to be stopped. I've had it with this. You really need to go out late at night in a stupid costume to pick up a book that will still be available in the morning? Look, I can even get on board with staying up late to spend money, but the other nonsense is right out.

So I've heard the movies are decent. I've heard from other people who aren't five that the books are an entertaining read. I might see the movies some day if I get around to it, but I don't think I'm going to be reading the books anytime soon. And no matter what, if I find myself dressing in some stupid costume over Harry Potter, it's all over.

... said Katrine Skovgaard, 18...

And no, I'm still not interested.

Rowling is now the richest woman in Britain, with a fortune estimated by Forbes magazine at $1 billion.

Yes, and rumor has it that she's started noticing boys, too.

"I am always disappointed when publishers sell books directly to the consumer, bypassing their retail partners," said Mitchell Kaplan, president of the American Booksellers Association. "Selling it at a discount makes it more frustrating."

Fuck you, asshole. God forbid things should actually work out in favor of the consumer every once in awhile, you greedy prick. Why don't you just come out and say "I hate it when we lose money."

Amazon reported that advance orders of the "adult" edition, which bears a more muted cover than the children's version...

This threw me for a second. Nevermind the fact that there's an adult version of a children's book -- the fact that the adult version is the more muted one didn't make sense to me until I thought about it.

Amazon.co.uk has a secure 200,000-square-foot warehouse to pack the books.

See, this is fucking ridiculous. They're goddamn books -- for children, no less -- not launch codes or spent fuel rods or strains of some super-virus that will turn your vital organs into liquid shit.

Pope Benedict XVI told her in letters written in 2003, when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, that the books "deeply distort Christianity in the soul."

Hey, so is the goddamn pope dead yet? I can't wait for that guy to eat it.