Alright, it didn't take as long to put this compilation together, and there's a whole mess of crap in here. Either shit's picking up, or I'm lowering the bar.

how the fuck do you get ahead in this world?

By doing Yahoo searches. Clearly.

celtic feet fucking

I wasn't aware that the Celts had their own methods for feet fucking. Either way, find me some hot Celtic girls with nice feet, and I'm in.

gays food fuck

Hey, I fucked fruit.

christians against feminism messageboard

Christians against feminism? Isn't that redundant? Hey, fuck you: made from a man's rib. We could go on and on, but that tells you all you need to know right there.

fuck you i am a piece of shit

Yeah! You sure told them!

You piece of shit computer! Where the fuck can i find some nike shoes?

Yeah, it's the computer's fault that you're too stupid to know about these things called "stores," dickface. Out of all the retards and child molesters I've gotten here via search engines, I think I either hate this guy the most, or at least, he's somewhere towards the top.

BLM fucked up

You had to consult Google on this one? Like I haven't made this abundantly clear as is? Or were they not talking about me, but instead having issues with the Bureau of Land Management?

fuck me and make me have an organism

This one is so awesome that I don't even need to say anything -- it stands on it's own two (or more, depending) feet.

guys in the army fucking everything with a pussy

Yeah, maybe everything with a man pussy. Or as I prefer to call it, mangina.

Spam:

And it's not strange -- you cuum very fast!

No, it's not strange. That's the problem.

horse fuckers next strike

Have horse fuckers formed a union? I'm just waiting to see flyers for the local 212 of the UHF.

fisting toronto -teen -girl -girls -lesbian -aids

Okay, you're looking for fisting, but you want to exclude teens, girls, and lesbians? What fun could possibly come of this search? Okay, okay, so this person has different tastes than me -- that's cool. But why the need to explicitly exclude "aids"? Are they talking about the disease? Is this really something closely coupled with fisting? Or are they talking about "aids" in the sense of something or someone that helps? The only "aids" you need for fisting are A) a fist and B) an accommodating hole.

Spam:

Youung girl brutally analpenetratted by black HORSSE. model

OK, I understand the soft racism of specifying black men because all black guys, of course, have huge cocks, but why was there a need to specify that the horse, sorry, HORSSE, is black? Is porn of young girls taking it up the ass from horses so common that people can afford to be choosy as to what color the animal is?

Spam:

Why be an average guy any longer

What makes you think I'm even average?

What does one earring in the left ear mean on a man

It means he's a dooshebag with an earring in his left ear. God damn it, it's been like 20 years since this might have had relevance. As we so often do here, we defer to Carlin: "That thing with the earring? It's over. Has been for a long time. It was supposed to piss off the squares. The squares are wearing them now!"

And for the grand finale of this batch of garbage, I present a search hit that is truly epic:

what does it mean when someone is shitting on you in a dream