Cracked list: 9 Devices That Are Clearly Compensating for a Small Penis.

That led me to another list, Liberal Guilt Justified: 6 Creepy Mail Order Bride Websites.

That further led me to spend too much time perusing ads on Anastasia-International.com. I refuse to believe that that many good-looking girls are having that much trouble finding a guy or getting out of their country or whatever. But maybe. Either way the whole mail-order-bride thing isn't off the table.

I at least need to mention that the site is based in Bangor, Maine.

Another reason I'm not buying into that site, even if it's as reputable as they're likely to get (which isn't saying much), is 'cause it seemed like there were about five different names that all of them had. Natalia, Anastasia, Irina, Elena, Ekaterina... All really lovely names but surely girls are given a wider variety of names over there. Like usual I'm probably exaggerating but it seemed that way at one point.

Another name that popped up a lot was Olga, a name I've never been a fan of. Then I saw an Olga who was really cute but as I'm looking at her profile "Olie the Goalie" popped into my head and it was over.