Groundhog day

OK, so this 'blog has undergone more attempted lame-ass reboots than the Spiderman franchise. Is that what's going on with those movies? Every now and then they're like "Fuck yeah! Spiderman! Let's do some Spiderman movies!" And then after awhile they're just like "fuck it" and sooner or later they come back to it and then just give up again.

Well, whatever. It's hard to get motivated to do shit. First world problems, I know. Or maybe I'm really just beating a dead horse. I mean, really, blogging? Who the fuck does that anymore? It's 2014; grow the fuck up asshole.

What would I even 'blog about in these modern, fancy times? Just my old, boring shit of random CNN links with half-cocked opinions on politics or religion or some dumbass car bullshit interspersed? What's the point of that all over again if I got so bored with it the first time around?

On top of that there's Twitter. Twitter really is better for the modern lazy fuck. You don't need to really think anything through. Forget about researching things; you don't even need a complete fucking thought and then you get quick feedback from a bunch of strangers who also don't have thoughts in their heads exceeding 140 characters. I mean, you get quick feedback unless you're a loser without followers.

OK, well fuck Twitter, for the moment anyway. Already I'm at, like, what, 8 tweets worth in this post? Let's get weird.

I'm sitting here at 1:35 in the AM and instead of watching Perspectives I'm watching a blank screen. What the fuck do I even want to write? I'm not going to come up with something that someone else who is better informed can't write and do so in a much better manner.  I guess I don't have to. Just write what I want. But again, what? What I really need to be writing is comedy. Specicfically, material. For standup.

Why? Well a few asshole friends say I should do standup. But what the fuck do they know? After all, they're friends with me. That's suspect. But yeah of course they think I'm funny; they're my goddamn friends. If they don't think I'm funny that's kinda dumb. Plus it's like two or three friends who have said that.

OK, so people on twitter (fuck it I'm done capitalizing that) find me amusing. Well, a few. Probably if I thought about how many really do it would be kinda depressing and definitely wouldn't fill a room but that's twitter for you, fuck that place. I mean there are a couple of people who can flow but for the most part the genre sucks.

As usual I'm making excuses. I doubt I have mainstream appeal but fuck that, why would I want that. But I've probably got more appeal than I think when it comes to my personal brand of humor. Yeah, let's just get talk of "brand" underway.

So alright, assuming I did that, then I just have to get over the fear of being up in front of a crowd. I know I can do it, but yeah, it still sucks.

Balls. And laziness. That's really all this comes down to. I'm pretty sure if I just spent some time I could easily put together five minutes. Hell, I have a solid story that when I tell it right produces good laughs and could probably give me five minutes easily. And then just stop being a fucking pussy like I am with everything else in my goddamn life.

Fine, I need to start writing. And maybe paying attention to this 'blog again. After all, no one is reading this shit, anyway. Back to talking into the void.