One thing I always find disarming is that despite being all uptight about sex in this country, we seem to have no hangups talking about dick medication. Viagra or whatever else is A-O-K nowadays. We get embarrassed over anything remotely sexual, but we're chomping at the bit to talk about old, broken dick. It's nice that we're opening up, but it's just weird to me when we do.
In addition to the prescription shit like Viagra and its competitor (or competitors; I can't remember if that second one is available yet or not), there's all that other "male enhancement" nonsense that you always see magazine and radio ads for. I hear a bunch of these when I'm listening to JFR, which is no surprise since his audience consists of almost nothing but male cretins. Yes, I'm obviously one of those cretins, but for what it's worth my dick still works okay. Although, just between you and me, I'm not sure why it does. You'd think it would have wised up to the big picture and just given up about six years ago.
Anyway, one of the commercials I constantly hear is for Enzyte (bring on those Google hits, guys), which advertises itself as "natural male enhancement." This reminds me of a complaint I once made. If it were fucking natural, you wouldn't be taking a pill for it. NATURE would do the job for you. So quit calling it what it isn't.
Another one is for something called Prosilon. I don't know if I'm spelling it right or not, but I really don't care anyway, and I sure as hell am not going to go searching for it while at work. No, I'm just going to talk about "old, broken dick" while at work. Getting back to the point, this commercial is done entirely by a woman who is way too enthusiastic to be talking about poorly performing penises and whose voice is just a little too pleasant anyway. The whole commercial is a bunch of bullshit about re-gaining your youthful sexual prowess and staying power and blah blah blah. My favorite line is "Become the legendary lover that women BRAG about!"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. At this point, I'd be lucky to be the shitty lover that women bitch about.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Let it be known that all liberals aren't total pussies, and some of us can throw down when necessary.
As a quick little exercise in media bias, that article was from the somewhat more conservative New York Post, while this is from the somewhat less conservative CNN. There's a bit of a difference there. It's up to you to decide just how big of a ruffian Franken is.
Oddly enough, a quick check over at Fox News didn't turn up anything other than a link to the NYP story (both are owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.). I thought they'd be jumping all over this shit after that little lawsuit over Franken's book. Maybe they got tired of actually helping Franken's career and decided to leave it alone.
As a quick little exercise in media bias, that article was from the somewhat more conservative New York Post, while this is from the somewhat less conservative CNN. There's a bit of a difference there. It's up to you to decide just how big of a ruffian Franken is.
Oddly enough, a quick check over at Fox News didn't turn up anything other than a link to the NYP story (both are owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.). I thought they'd be jumping all over this shit after that little lawsuit over Franken's book. Maybe they got tired of actually helping Franken's career and decided to leave it alone.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
This is yet another example as to why I would worship Onion writers as deities were I to find religion.
It looks like the Oscar nominations have been made public. I'm not posting a link, because I don't care. The Oscars have been dead to me since they proved what a total bullshit sham they are after stiffing both LA Confidential (the best movie ever) and Saving Private Ryan (which was also fucking harsh) for best picture.
Monday, January 26, 2004
Oh, man, can life get any better? Let's fucking hope so. Until it does, there's some new GYWO to keep you satiated.
If this is the reason why Spirit is fucked up, then you've got to be kidding me. How... How in the fuck did they not stress test the filesystem? Good job, NASholes. Maybe they should have loaded PKzip before sending Spirit up there.
Massive quantities of ready-to-go WMD and proof of strong ties between Saddam and al Qaeda... Or a guy who just got to Iraq who reported to a guy who reported to Osama. Either way, I think the premises for war have been satisfied.
Yes, I'm going to keep harping on this shit.
Oh, and just since he was mentioned: fuck Daniel Pearl. I felt no rage when that guy was killed, unlike oh-so-many others. What the fuck do you expect to end up happening to someone running around with shady characters in Pakistan? That he'd be treated to ice cream and then sent home with a Pulitzer-prize winning story? I also felt no sympathy for the guy, although I did feel sorry for his wife and unborn child, who have had to suffer because their husband/father was such a selfish asshole.
There are few bigger pieces of shit than "investigative journalists." Egotistical assholes who care more about the personal glory that comes from "getting the scoop" than, oh, I dunno, their families. They'll give you some bullshit about doing great work to inform people, but that's not what drives them. Sorry, I just get pissed when someone knowingly puts themselves in great danger out of sheer self-indulgence when they have a wife back at home and a kid on the way.
Yes, I'm going to keep harping on this shit.
Oh, and just since he was mentioned: fuck Daniel Pearl. I felt no rage when that guy was killed, unlike oh-so-many others. What the fuck do you expect to end up happening to someone running around with shady characters in Pakistan? That he'd be treated to ice cream and then sent home with a Pulitzer-prize winning story? I also felt no sympathy for the guy, although I did feel sorry for his wife and unborn child, who have had to suffer because their husband/father was such a selfish asshole.
There are few bigger pieces of shit than "investigative journalists." Egotistical assholes who care more about the personal glory that comes from "getting the scoop" than, oh, I dunno, their families. They'll give you some bullshit about doing great work to inform people, but that's not what drives them. Sorry, I just get pissed when someone knowingly puts themselves in great danger out of sheer self-indulgence when they have a wife back at home and a kid on the way.
VENKMAN BURN IN HELL.
I was wondering what kind of pretentious fuck named the bird N'kisi, and then I saw that the bird's owner is a New York artist.
I was wondering what kind of pretentious fuck named the bird N'kisi, and then I saw that the bird's owner is a New York artist.
It's taken over two years and it's only one section, but it's a start.
In other PATRIOT Act news, whether or not it's been used is not the whole point, cocksuckers. Assuming Asscroft isn't just flat-out lying about it, of course, but still. An unused permission slip to violate civil liberties is still a permission slip to violate civil liberties.
In other PATRIOT Act news, whether or not it's been used is not the whole point, cocksuckers. Assuming Asscroft isn't just flat-out lying about it, of course, but still. An unused permission slip to violate civil liberties is still a permission slip to violate civil liberties.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Even though the crisis is many years behind us, I'm still going to renew my call for round-the-clock, border-to-border saturation bombing of Rhythm Nation.
Edited South Park. What's the fuckin' point?
I do find it amusing that SP has been renewed for two more 15-episode seasons after Trey Parker and Matt Stone's assertions years ago that they didn't want to be "doing pigfucker jokes when we're 40." Hey, I don't blame them, and I'm glad they're doing it. I just like to drag that quote out every chance I get because it's A) funny and B) we knew it was total bullshit when they originally uttered it, which feeds back into (A).
I do find it amusing that SP has been renewed for two more 15-episode seasons after Trey Parker and Matt Stone's assertions years ago that they didn't want to be "doing pigfucker jokes when we're 40." Hey, I don't blame them, and I'm glad they're doing it. I just like to drag that quote out every chance I get because it's A) funny and B) we knew it was total bullshit when they originally uttered it, which feeds back into (A).
Here's a quick tip for the three people using Mozilla. I'm not sure if I mean Fe readers or the world in general, but anyway...
Lots of times you'll get to a page where it's complaining that you need an updated browser. For example, I recently came across one complaining I needed Netscape 6 or newer (or some shit like that). I'm running a fairly recent version of Mozilla, which is more Netscape than Netscape. Needless to say, this browser restriction fucking pissed me off, since I A) need to access that site and B) my browser is a good enough version for these stupid fuckers, they're just to stupid to realize that.
Well, you can modify what Mozilla (as well as what Firebird) tells websites that it is. Not only can you can make sites think you're using a different Mozilla/Nutscrape version, but you can also make sites think Mozilla is any other browser, including IE.
To do this, you can type "about:config" in the address bar (no quotes, of course). This is a decent interface for customizing all sorts of Mozilla shit. It's nice that Mozilla is so customizable, by the way, but it is the biggest fucking pain in the ass to do in many circumstances. This procedure, however, is pretty painless, and the "about:config" interface helps in that regard. The config interface actually just edits your prefs.js file for you, in case you're averse to hand-editing shit (which, normally, I am not, but Moz is a special case).
Anyway, go to "about:config," right click anywhere down in that mess of a list, and choose new->string from the pop-up menu. For the string name, call it "general.useragent.override" (once again, no quotes, which I know you know, so leave me alone). For the string value, you can enter anything in this list.
Although this ended up fixing my problem with the site in question, it caused side issues. For example, I changed the useragent string to "Netscape/7.0 (X11; Linux)," and Blogger stopped giving me the nice posting interface. As such, I had to go edit my profile and tell it to ALWAYS use the classic interface since I know my browser can handle it. Also, I tried spoofing as IE at one point, but the classic interface gave me this stupid help bar on the right which I couldn't get rid of. I'm pretty sure I know how to use Blogger at this point, what with me being past 1,300 posts.
I don't know if Moz needs to be restarted, but my old-school Mac mentality had me doing it anyway just in case. Either way, it worked like a charm. Oh, and you can of course go back to the default useragent string by just removing the override.
As mentioned, this may cause some problems with other sites, and you had better be using it for good instead of evil. As if I give a shit. The one thing I give a shit about is if you blame me for any problems, because I will have none of that. Even if it does cause problems with other sites, this is a handy, un-doable fix that can be used for sites that are being douchebags.
Lots of times you'll get to a page where it's complaining that you need an updated browser. For example, I recently came across one complaining I needed Netscape 6 or newer (or some shit like that). I'm running a fairly recent version of Mozilla, which is more Netscape than Netscape. Needless to say, this browser restriction fucking pissed me off, since I A) need to access that site and B) my browser is a good enough version for these stupid fuckers, they're just to stupid to realize that.
Well, you can modify what Mozilla (as well as what Firebird) tells websites that it is. Not only can you can make sites think you're using a different Mozilla/Nutscrape version, but you can also make sites think Mozilla is any other browser, including IE.
To do this, you can type "about:config" in the address bar (no quotes, of course). This is a decent interface for customizing all sorts of Mozilla shit. It's nice that Mozilla is so customizable, by the way, but it is the biggest fucking pain in the ass to do in many circumstances. This procedure, however, is pretty painless, and the "about:config" interface helps in that regard. The config interface actually just edits your prefs.js file for you, in case you're averse to hand-editing shit (which, normally, I am not, but Moz is a special case).
Anyway, go to "about:config," right click anywhere down in that mess of a list, and choose new->string from the pop-up menu. For the string name, call it "general.useragent.override" (once again, no quotes, which I know you know, so leave me alone). For the string value, you can enter anything in this list.
Although this ended up fixing my problem with the site in question, it caused side issues. For example, I changed the useragent string to "Netscape/7.0 (X11; Linux)," and Blogger stopped giving me the nice posting interface. As such, I had to go edit my profile and tell it to ALWAYS use the classic interface since I know my browser can handle it. Also, I tried spoofing as IE at one point, but the classic interface gave me this stupid help bar on the right which I couldn't get rid of. I'm pretty sure I know how to use Blogger at this point, what with me being past 1,300 posts.
I don't know if Moz needs to be restarted, but my old-school Mac mentality had me doing it anyway just in case. Either way, it worked like a charm. Oh, and you can of course go back to the default useragent string by just removing the override.
As mentioned, this may cause some problems with other sites, and you had better be using it for good instead of evil. As if I give a shit. The one thing I give a shit about is if you blame me for any problems, because I will have none of that. Even if it does cause problems with other sites, this is a handy, un-doable fix that can be used for sites that are being douchebags.
Pretty fucked up when the outgoing head of searching for WMD says "Yeah, there's nothing there" and then the incoming guy says "Yeah, there's nothing there."
If you're trying to mend relationships with European allies... Sending Dick Cheney is probably not the best way to go about it. Which, once again, indicates that we aren't seriously trying to patch things up with Europe.
Friday, January 23, 2004
One thing I keep asking myself is why candidates who clearly aren't electable even bother running. Yeah, I know, some people know that they won't get elected, and they're running to make some kind of statement. Still, though, there's gotta be a point where it's like, fuck, this is costing a lot of money.
Dennis Kucinich. Anyone who is calling for the creation of a Department of Peace is not going to get elected. I will be the first in line to dismiss that as nothing but liberal nonsense. Al Sharpton. Whenever I see Sharpton, all I can think of is this episode of The Critic where someone is playing a video game whose premise is simply running around New York City and trying to stay alive. One of the obstacles you can come across is Al Sharpton, who blocks your path saying nothing but "Blah blah blah," causing your character to melt.
I've been trying to get over condemning candidates who supported the war. At this point, I'm more interested in what they're going to do to see the Iraq situation through should they get elected. Pragmatically speaking, that's what matters. Plus, there are about a million other issues that are vital in this election. However, I can't let the support for war thing go entirely, and not because I disagree with what they did. The problem I still have with it is that for some candidates, it speaks to an annoying Democratic tendency to be scared into doing what Bush wants, and then later on backtracking and saying what a mistake it was when it's already too late. The war and the PATRIOT act are two good examples. It just doesn't look good.
Kerry tries to cover this by saying that Bush failed to keep his pledge to go to war only as a last resort. You actually bought that, John? You've got to be kidding me. Bush was just itching to go to war. And you would be too, especially if you had Cheney, Wolfowitz, and Rumsfeld around every corner just waiting to run up your ass. "So, are we gonna go to war, or what?"
Seriously, if you can't cut through Bush's bullshit, which is so thick and transparent that it could be used to transport whales to the future, then maybe you shouldn't be president. Of course, I don't think that Kerry or the other guys are this stupid. It's not that they bought the bullshit, it's that they signed on with it anyway.
Dennis Kucinich. Anyone who is calling for the creation of a Department of Peace is not going to get elected. I will be the first in line to dismiss that as nothing but liberal nonsense. Al Sharpton. Whenever I see Sharpton, all I can think of is this episode of The Critic where someone is playing a video game whose premise is simply running around New York City and trying to stay alive. One of the obstacles you can come across is Al Sharpton, who blocks your path saying nothing but "Blah blah blah," causing your character to melt.
I've been trying to get over condemning candidates who supported the war. At this point, I'm more interested in what they're going to do to see the Iraq situation through should they get elected. Pragmatically speaking, that's what matters. Plus, there are about a million other issues that are vital in this election. However, I can't let the support for war thing go entirely, and not because I disagree with what they did. The problem I still have with it is that for some candidates, it speaks to an annoying Democratic tendency to be scared into doing what Bush wants, and then later on backtracking and saying what a mistake it was when it's already too late. The war and the PATRIOT act are two good examples. It just doesn't look good.
Kerry tries to cover this by saying that Bush failed to keep his pledge to go to war only as a last resort. You actually bought that, John? You've got to be kidding me. Bush was just itching to go to war. And you would be too, especially if you had Cheney, Wolfowitz, and Rumsfeld around every corner just waiting to run up your ass. "So, are we gonna go to war, or what?"
Seriously, if you can't cut through Bush's bullshit, which is so thick and transparent that it could be used to transport whales to the future, then maybe you shouldn't be president. Of course, I don't think that Kerry or the other guys are this stupid. It's not that they bought the bullshit, it's that they signed on with it anyway.
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