Friday, March 05, 2004
Why are news organizations wasting time with stuff like this? I wanna hear more about Martha Stewart. CNN was apparently so wrapped up in Ms. Bitch that they didn't even bother to proofread that article. "Sex formally dressed classical musicians," indeed.
You've gotta kinda laugh about this, but can we please get back to not going after the really serious corporate criminals now?
A big question on many peoples' minds: where are the jobs? Clearly, they're not there. Remember when we were told lied to about how the tax cuts would be creating 300,000 jobs a month? Man, did that ever sound neat.
They sure love that 300,000 number, too. It doesn't mean anything, but it sounds good. And when extrapolated, it magically brings back all the jobs lost in the past couple of years, with a handful extra thrown in for good measure. It's all such bullshit for them. Such bullshit that you can't even call it voodoo economics, as George Bush Sr. described Reaganomics when he was running against Ron for the R nomination. Like remember when Bush wanted fast food work re-classified as a manufacturing job? Gee, that wasn't a ploy to boost manufacturing job numbers, was it?
I like this bullshit excuse about the bad weather. How exactly is that going to help skew numbers? Businesses do a shittier job of reporting numbers in acclimate weather? "You know, we really need to get these numbers sorted out for the survey, but it's just too damn cold." Sounds like those are some people who should be out of a job.
Like usual, though, the 21,000 figure is meaningless until they inevitably revise it.
They sure love that 300,000 number, too. It doesn't mean anything, but it sounds good. And when extrapolated, it magically brings back all the jobs lost in the past couple of years, with a handful extra thrown in for good measure. It's all such bullshit for them. Such bullshit that you can't even call it voodoo economics, as George Bush Sr. described Reaganomics when he was running against Ron for the R nomination. Like remember when Bush wanted fast food work re-classified as a manufacturing job? Gee, that wasn't a ploy to boost manufacturing job numbers, was it?
I like this bullshit excuse about the bad weather. How exactly is that going to help skew numbers? Businesses do a shittier job of reporting numbers in acclimate weather? "You know, we really need to get these numbers sorted out for the survey, but it's just too damn cold." Sounds like those are some people who should be out of a job.
Like usual, though, the 21,000 figure is meaningless until they inevitably revise it.
Yahoo search:
100 ways to tell your man you want to fuck
You pretty much only need one.
You: "I want to fu-"
Your man: "Okay!!!"
100 ways to tell your man you want to fuck
You pretty much only need one.
You: "I want to fu-"
Your man: "Okay!!!"
Great, just what the world needs, another "nice guy." And to think, I thought we had run out of these self-important twits who are so in love with their self-proclaimed sensitivity that they just can't get over themselves. Man, between Angela (I don't think he wants to fuck her at all), Laura, Colleen, and who the fuck knows else, sounds like ol' Dave here has a mad case 'a' the bitches.
I know, I know - lay off the kid. At least he's going to movies with chicks. Hey, I'm going to movies with chicks... In them.
I know, I know - lay off the kid. At least he's going to movies with chicks. Hey, I'm going to movies with chicks... In them.
Googe search:
paying mothers to fuck
Dude, you should already know that if you're going to get the mother of your children to have sex with you ever again, it's going to take a some more diamonds, new cars, and expensive vacations. And yes, this is clearly a married man, since he said "mother," and as we all know, marriage is all about children.
Seriously, whoever was searching for this was really hard up (that can be a pun if you want it to be), because they found me way back on page fucking 11 of the search results.
paying mothers to fuck
Dude, you should already know that if you're going to get the mother of your children to have sex with you ever again, it's going to take a some more diamonds, new cars, and expensive vacations. And yes, this is clearly a married man, since he said "mother," and as we all know, marriage is all about children.
Seriously, whoever was searching for this was really hard up (that can be a pun if you want it to be), because they found me way back on page fucking 11 of the search results.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Anybody else smell a set-up?
They went off way too much with the "Ace in the hole" jokes when they captured Saddam, but Osama will be their ace in the hole to ensure re-election. He'll magically turn up at just the right time.
They went off way too much with the "Ace in the hole" jokes when they captured Saddam, but Osama will be their ace in the hole to ensure re-election. He'll magically turn up at just the right time.
So, I just discovered something bad. I mean, dangerously bad. This could potentially be problematic for others, too, unless they already know about this. Either way, I'm spreadin' the joy.
Tonight, I was up to the usual - looking for porn. I was trying to find pictures of Mizutani Sakura. As often happens when I'm making such searches, I came across a photobook of her on amazon.co.jp. Of course, Amazon Japan is almost entirely in Japanese, and the handful of chicken scratch that I can comprehend is not helpful.
There's a button you can click on a product's page which turns on about five words worth of English. Well, I don't know if it's because I was trying something different when I did this in the past or if they just got their shit together, but it's now pretty easy to order stuff in English. Fuck.
There are, of course, still issues. First, you've gotta be able to find things. This isn't too terribly difficult if you can somehow find the Japanese somewhere online and then bust out copy and paste. Unless of course if there's already some English in whatever the hell you're looking for. Then, there's shipping. Expensive Method of Shipping (EMS) is available, which means you can potentially order one thing and pay more to have the item shipped than you're paying for the item itself. Of course, you can run with a cheaper shipping option, but I have neither the patience nor the stomach for that. In the end, these are not not huge show-stopper issues.
I haven't bought anything yet, but this is not good.
Tonight, I was up to the usual - looking for porn. I was trying to find pictures of Mizutani Sakura. As often happens when I'm making such searches, I came across a photobook of her on amazon.co.jp. Of course, Amazon Japan is almost entirely in Japanese, and the handful of chicken scratch that I can comprehend is not helpful.
There's a button you can click on a product's page which turns on about five words worth of English. Well, I don't know if it's because I was trying something different when I did this in the past or if they just got their shit together, but it's now pretty easy to order stuff in English. Fuck.
There are, of course, still issues. First, you've gotta be able to find things. This isn't too terribly difficult if you can somehow find the Japanese somewhere online and then bust out copy and paste. Unless of course if there's already some English in whatever the hell you're looking for. Then, there's shipping. Expensive Method of Shipping (EMS) is available, which means you can potentially order one thing and pay more to have the item shipped than you're paying for the item itself. Of course, you can run with a cheaper shipping option, but I have neither the patience nor the stomach for that. In the end, these are not not huge show-stopper issues.
I haven't bought anything yet, but this is not good.
C'mon Maureen. Dick Cheney's not such a bad guy.
Oh, wait a minute, yes he is. I just wondered what it would feel like to say that, if only once.
Oh, wait a minute, yes he is. I just wondered what it would feel like to say that, if only once.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Numismatists rejoice, because this is about as exciting as your sad lives get.
Which reminds me, I actually do want to get back into coin collecting. And I use "get back into" loosely, considering all I have is a pathetic collection from when I was younger and didn't have much money to buy... Other money. Just what I need, more costly habits. Now I'm going to go search for a fucking 1909-S VDB Lincoln cent. Fuck.
Which reminds me, I actually do want to get back into coin collecting. And I use "get back into" loosely, considering all I have is a pathetic collection from when I was younger and didn't have much money to buy... Other money. Just what I need, more costly habits. Now I'm going to go search for a fucking 1909-S VDB Lincoln cent. Fuck.
I like the gull-wing doors and the focus on storage, but I don't know if not having a hood is such a great idea. I mean, we all know what terrible drivers women are. Without a hood to pop up, how are they going to signal to other motorists that they need help when they inevitably break down ?
This is a new one, but I don't see why it's "outlandish, silly or unbelievable." Oh yeah, because no one has ever gotten a blowjob while driving. Furthermore, the male mind is always working properly when in the middle of some kind of sex act, so he couldn't have been driving since he wouldn't have crashed while getting head.
I'd love to see this trial play out. Imagine all the relevant questions. Bench seat or bucket seats? Manual or automatic? Did she keep the cum stained dress?
"Donovan had argued that women would be biased and more likely to convict."
I have always found it amusing how all women hate each other.
I'd love to see this trial play out. Imagine all the relevant questions. Bench seat or bucket seats? Manual or automatic? Did she keep the cum stained dress?
"Donovan had argued that women would be biased and more likely to convict."
I have always found it amusing how all women hate each other.
It's a shame to see Edwards go, because he was keeping it interesting. But now that Super Tuesday has passed, it is on.
And yeah, I knew there was somewhere that Mr. Original John Kerry uttered the phrase "bring it on."
Questions, questions. What will a second Bush cabinet look like? Will Rummy be out? Even though Bush has already said Cheney is a lock, could Dick be replaced as VP? Will Colin Powell once again bend to the will of his wife and bow out at State? Will the Democrats be 100% fucked if Osama is found this year, as I and many others are expecting to conveniently happen? Are Howard Dean and John Edwards going to go away? And what Democratic ticket is going to give them the best chance of winning? If you've got any thoughts, throw some shit down at the messageboard.
And yeah, I knew there was somewhere that Mr. Original John Kerry uttered the phrase "bring it on."
Questions, questions. What will a second Bush cabinet look like? Will Rummy be out? Even though Bush has already said Cheney is a lock, could Dick be replaced as VP? Will Colin Powell once again bend to the will of his wife and bow out at State? Will the Democrats be 100% fucked if Osama is found this year, as I and many others are expecting to conveniently happen? Are Howard Dean and John Edwards going to go away? And what Democratic ticket is going to give them the best chance of winning? If you've got any thoughts, throw some shit down at the messageboard.
I always like pointing out losers with too much time on their hands, because it makes me feel better about being a loser with too much time on his hands. Here's this week's installment.
Also, this blog did not link me, however, its title warranted that I at least check it out. As a warning, it's an adult 'blog, apparently run by a working girl: Shag Me Retarded. Taking a look at the non-blog part of her site, you come across her rates, which really make me wish that I could sell my body.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Trapper Keeper
Okay, I've heard a couple of OnStar commercials where they're boasting that they can contact emergency services for you. Apparently, no one could dial 911 before OnStar showed up.
Okay, I can imagine some situations where OnStar would be useful - like, say, if you don't know where the fuck you are. Of course, OnStar always knows where you are, and as such they can tell emergency people where to find your ass. But there was one commercial - and maybe I just didn't hear all of it - where I could swear it was a woman calling OnStar because her house was on fire. Why the fuck don't you just call 911? Whose first instinct is to call OnStar when their family is threatened and their life is going up in flames? Seriously, if you're that fucking stupid, or you're that worried about your car, I hope you die in a house fire, and I want you to die in a house fire.
Okay, I can imagine some situations where OnStar would be useful - like, say, if you don't know where the fuck you are. Of course, OnStar always knows where you are, and as such they can tell emergency people where to find your ass. But there was one commercial - and maybe I just didn't hear all of it - where I could swear it was a woman calling OnStar because her house was on fire. Why the fuck don't you just call 911? Whose first instinct is to call OnStar when their family is threatened and their life is going up in flames? Seriously, if you're that fucking stupid, or you're that worried about your car, I hope you die in a house fire, and I want you to die in a house fire.
The other day, ETP and I couldn't remember what Dr. Seuss's real name was. At least, I'm pretty sure it was Dr. Seuss we were talking about. Regardless, here is the answer to that question, as well as others about Dr. Seuss.
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