Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
This is hilarious. You just can't go wrong when Legos are involved, as long as it's not some of the crap shit Lego has been putting out in recent years.
And no, I don't care that using "Lego" in the plural "Legos" is inappropriate.
That amusing link is the work of The Reverend Brendan Powell Smith. A choice post from his 'blog:
Smith checks himself before wrecking himself
Following the advice of a concerned and vaguely threatening peer, Rev. Smith today decided to take a moment out of his busy schedule to check himself before wrecking himself. "I was skeptical at first, not having realized that I was on a path to self-destruction, but I now feel extremely fortunate to have taken the time to examine my recent behaviors and motivations, making changes where necessary to better myself."
That's funny.
And no, I don't care that using "Lego" in the plural "Legos" is inappropriate.
That amusing link is the work of The Reverend Brendan Powell Smith. A choice post from his 'blog:
Smith checks himself before wrecking himself
Following the advice of a concerned and vaguely threatening peer, Rev. Smith today decided to take a moment out of his busy schedule to check himself before wrecking himself. "I was skeptical at first, not having realized that I was on a path to self-destruction, but I now feel extremely fortunate to have taken the time to examine my recent behaviors and motivations, making changes where necessary to better myself."
That's funny.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
This is the most stupid, fucked up, and useless thing I've seen in awhile. The only good that could come of that is if it was actually a front for some kind of death squad that hunted you down as soon as you signed up, because signing up automatically shows that you are an idiot who shouldn't be alive any more. Found the link over at the OC.
Most of the Talkers happen to live in New York City.
Yeah, big shocker that something this lame is the product of pretentious New York fucks. Why would I want to talk to them, or furthermore, have them talk back? As was pointed out recently, those pricks can't even fix a hole in the ground.
Most of the Talkers happen to live in New York City.
Yeah, big shocker that something this lame is the product of pretentious New York fucks. Why would I want to talk to them, or furthermore, have them talk back? As was pointed out recently, those pricks can't even fix a hole in the ground.
Nancy Pelosi actually smart? Yeah, I dunno about that. Maybe she just has this front of being, I dunno, stone cold fucking stupid when she actually has her shit together behind the scenes. I guess it's possible, but I'm gonna need a lot more convincing before I'm on board with this notion.
"If people are ripping your face off, you have to rip their face off" Pelosi's approach to handling attacks from Republicans)
Can somebody explain to me where the Democrats have done any face ripping? I mean, seriously, the Republicans are doing everything they can right now to not win. At this juncture it's going to be more a matter of the Republicans losing as opposed to the Democrats winning if indeed things shift in November.
To condition Democrats for this fall's midterm elections, she has employed tactics straight out of DeLay's playbook: insisting other House Democrats vote the party line on everything, avoiding compromise with Republicans at all cost and mandating that members spend much of their time raising money for colleagues in close races.
This has me rather torn. On one hand it's like, let's get some change in here. Sure, the Democrats are just going to fuck things up, too. But at least it will be a different class of fuck-ups. You know, a change in scenery.
But at what cost? By being as big of assholes as the Republicans? Alright, fight fire with fire. That's fine. But by doing so, by voting party line, by refusing to compromise, they're just further hardening so much of what's wrong with politics in this country. This does nothing but cement the simplistic black-and-white approach we have to things. The Republicans, of course, aren't going to do much to change matters, so of course, the Democrats have to do this if they're going to pull off an upset. Either way you slice it, it sucks.
And hey -- do I really even want change? You know taxes? Fuck that, I want my goddamn money. I've already got the BMW. Oh, and I am so totally getting a gun. You think I'm joking? I'm not joking. Relax,if when I get guns, I'll be sure that I know how to use them properly (OK, that might not the right thing to say in order to relax people).
The thing is, there's plenty of Republican shit I can get on board with. But Bush and all this Neocon shit? All this Jesus nonsense? Gay marriage, stem cells? That shit has got to stop.
When Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson was found with $90,000 in his freezer from an apparent bribery scheme, Pelosi immediately had him tossed out of his seat on the House Ways and Means Committee.
Hmmmmm, I seem to remember this playing out a bit differently. For one, Pelosi didn't toss him out -- there was a vote which accomplished that. Yes, Pelosi was pushing for him to step aside, but it's not like she swooped in, took charge, and kicked his ass out. Also, there wasn't much "immediately" about it, he was under investigation for quite awhile before he was finally kicked off of the committee. The $90,000 being found wasn't the trigger as the Time writer is trying to imply since the money was found in August and all of this shit didn't go down until the May-June timeframe. Maybe that wasn't made public initially back in August, but either way, the writer has a clear bias towards Pelosi. And of course, I have a clear bias against her, because she's a moron.
Fuck everything: we report on other peoples' reporting. You decide. You know, if you care enough.
"If people are ripping your face off, you have to rip their face off" Pelosi's approach to handling attacks from Republicans)
Can somebody explain to me where the Democrats have done any face ripping? I mean, seriously, the Republicans are doing everything they can right now to not win. At this juncture it's going to be more a matter of the Republicans losing as opposed to the Democrats winning if indeed things shift in November.
To condition Democrats for this fall's midterm elections, she has employed tactics straight out of DeLay's playbook: insisting other House Democrats vote the party line on everything, avoiding compromise with Republicans at all cost and mandating that members spend much of their time raising money for colleagues in close races.
This has me rather torn. On one hand it's like, let's get some change in here. Sure, the Democrats are just going to fuck things up, too. But at least it will be a different class of fuck-ups. You know, a change in scenery.
But at what cost? By being as big of assholes as the Republicans? Alright, fight fire with fire. That's fine. But by doing so, by voting party line, by refusing to compromise, they're just further hardening so much of what's wrong with politics in this country. This does nothing but cement the simplistic black-and-white approach we have to things. The Republicans, of course, aren't going to do much to change matters, so of course, the Democrats have to do this if they're going to pull off an upset. Either way you slice it, it sucks.
And hey -- do I really even want change? You know taxes? Fuck that, I want my goddamn money. I've already got the BMW. Oh, and I am so totally getting a gun. You think I'm joking? I'm not joking. Relax,
The thing is, there's plenty of Republican shit I can get on board with. But Bush and all this Neocon shit? All this Jesus nonsense? Gay marriage, stem cells? That shit has got to stop.
When Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson was found with $90,000 in his freezer from an apparent bribery scheme, Pelosi immediately had him tossed out of his seat on the House Ways and Means Committee.
Hmmmmm, I seem to remember this playing out a bit differently. For one, Pelosi didn't toss him out -- there was a vote which accomplished that. Yes, Pelosi was pushing for him to step aside, but it's not like she swooped in, took charge, and kicked his ass out. Also, there wasn't much "immediately" about it, he was under investigation for quite awhile before he was finally kicked off of the committee. The $90,000 being found wasn't the trigger as the Time writer is trying to imply since the money was found in August and all of this shit didn't go down until the May-June timeframe. Maybe that wasn't made public initially back in August, but either way, the writer has a clear bias towards Pelosi. And of course, I have a clear bias against her, because she's a moron.
Fuck everything: we report on other peoples' reporting. You decide. You know, if you care enough.
Yup, this pretty much says it all.
Although I tried my best not to get caught up in JonBenet Fest™ 2006, I still read my share of articles on all that shit. I did keep it all off of here, though, except I will say this: how hilarious is it that the DNA didn't match? You just knew it wasn't gonna match. No way we could finally start to emerge from this mess. Nope, the train of joy just keeps rolling on. So by hilarious I of course mean, fan. Fucking. Tastic.
Although I tried my best not to get caught up in JonBenet Fest™ 2006, I still read my share of articles on all that shit. I did keep it all off of here, though, except I will say this: how hilarious is it that the DNA didn't match? You just knew it wasn't gonna match. No way we could finally start to emerge from this mess. Nope, the train of joy just keeps rolling on. So by hilarious I of course mean, fan. Fucking. Tastic.
Monday, August 28, 2006
When I first saw the headline to this article, I had a momentary lapse in judgment. For a brief moment I went optimist, asking myself "Did Katherine Harris actually say something smart?" Because church and state separation is a lie. The favoritism we give to Christianity in this country is disgusting. But no, of course, she was babbling about some stupid bullshit.
U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris told a religious journal that separation of church and state is "a lie" and God and the nation's founding fathers did not intend the country be "a nation of secular laws."
The God part is just fucking stupid. But like most of the rest of her comments, we'll set that aside. You either realize what she's saying is crap, or you're an idiot.
One thing I'm pissed with in general is this notion of always trying to figure out the intent of the founding fathers. Unless if things are pretty obvious (as they rarely seem to be), it's a waste of fucking time trying to decide what a bunch of dead guys really had on their minds over 200 years ago. Of course, almost no one actually tries to figure out what their intent was -- instead, they claim to be looking for intent when they are actually just trying to find a way to spin those words from the past to fit their agenda.
And even if we do figure out what their real intent was, so what? Is that really the best thing to be following, the thoughts of people from centuries ago? Times were, I dunno, a bit different back then. There is no way the founding fathers could have anticipated all of what was to come long after they were dead. They at least appeared to be apt to this idea, and as such made it possible to adapt the Constitution over time (another debate in and of itself, of course).
If you are still hung up on the founding fathers, let's just remember their intent towards women and non-white people, shall we? They made things pretty clear on those fronts.
One more thing I will comment on from the article:
Harris' campaign released a statement Saturday saying she had been "speaking to a Christian audience, addressing a common misperception that people of faith should not be actively involved in government."
No, the common misconception isn't that people in general think that, the misconception is that us dirty secularists all think that. Sure, maybe some of us would say that, but in any case that is not realistic. This is nothing more than the bullshit mentality that a lot of these right-wingers have, the felling that they're always being persecuted and held back when they are, in fact, in the majority and in charge. As I've said recently and repeatedly in the past, they are nothing but a bunch of spoiled, over-sensitive crybabies.
The problem isn't people of faith being active in government, it's people of faith letting their faith go too far in their decision making. How far is too far? Hard to define clearly; it's one of those "I know it when I see it" types of things. Obviously a person's faith is going to at least color their thoughts and actions in some way. But stupid shit like consulting with God before going to war? That's dumb, and that's dangerous.
I also love how morons like this have absolutely no perspective on anything. Yeah, you want to break down the already weak walls between church and state? Fine. Because we've never seen entire areas of the world in figurative and literal flames because faith was running the show.
U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris told a religious journal that separation of church and state is "a lie" and God and the nation's founding fathers did not intend the country be "a nation of secular laws."
The God part is just fucking stupid. But like most of the rest of her comments, we'll set that aside. You either realize what she's saying is crap, or you're an idiot.
One thing I'm pissed with in general is this notion of always trying to figure out the intent of the founding fathers. Unless if things are pretty obvious (as they rarely seem to be), it's a waste of fucking time trying to decide what a bunch of dead guys really had on their minds over 200 years ago. Of course, almost no one actually tries to figure out what their intent was -- instead, they claim to be looking for intent when they are actually just trying to find a way to spin those words from the past to fit their agenda.
And even if we do figure out what their real intent was, so what? Is that really the best thing to be following, the thoughts of people from centuries ago? Times were, I dunno, a bit different back then. There is no way the founding fathers could have anticipated all of what was to come long after they were dead. They at least appeared to be apt to this idea, and as such made it possible to adapt the Constitution over time (another debate in and of itself, of course).
If you are still hung up on the founding fathers, let's just remember their intent towards women and non-white people, shall we? They made things pretty clear on those fronts.
One more thing I will comment on from the article:
Harris' campaign released a statement Saturday saying she had been "speaking to a Christian audience, addressing a common misperception that people of faith should not be actively involved in government."
No, the common misconception isn't that people in general think that, the misconception is that us dirty secularists all think that. Sure, maybe some of us would say that, but in any case that is not realistic. This is nothing more than the bullshit mentality that a lot of these right-wingers have, the felling that they're always being persecuted and held back when they are, in fact, in the majority and in charge. As I've said recently and repeatedly in the past, they are nothing but a bunch of spoiled, over-sensitive crybabies.
The problem isn't people of faith being active in government, it's people of faith letting their faith go too far in their decision making. How far is too far? Hard to define clearly; it's one of those "I know it when I see it" types of things. Obviously a person's faith is going to at least color their thoughts and actions in some way. But stupid shit like consulting with God before going to war? That's dumb, and that's dangerous.
I also love how morons like this have absolutely no perspective on anything. Yeah, you want to break down the already weak walls between church and state? Fine. Because we've never seen entire areas of the world in figurative and literal flames because faith was running the show.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Alright, I seriously am not making any special effort to include links to porn sites in recent posts, but there's another set of naughty links coming up here. Well, porn of sorts, at least.
Can someone explain to me the need for that? Look, it's bad enough that so many women in porn and skin rags have a sort of Borg-like thing going in that they're part human, part plastic. But does there need to be a site dedicated to fucking women that are literally plastic? Or, well, whatever the fuck materials they use for those things.
I'm putting people who look at RealDoll porn up there in Christan Conservative territory on the loser scale. Again, if I'm calling you out in the "need to find something better to do with your time" department, you need to check yourself. I'm not going after people who have RealDolls, although I probably should, especially when taking into account how much one of those things costs. No, I don't have one, and am not intending to get one. Although considering where I'm at at this juncture, maybe I should. I'm good at buying things.
Oh, and for anyone new to RealDolls or anyone in need of review, go ye forth, and be creeped out.
Shit, speaking of creepy. We're alredy familiar with the full-on dolls that they sell, but check out this thing that they sell. Jesus R. Christ, I'm going to have nightmares about ol' Stumpy there. All I can picture is trying to fuck that thing and then the stumps start moving around of their own accord. Shit, I need to go drink.
Can someone explain to me the need for that? Look, it's bad enough that so many women in porn and skin rags have a sort of Borg-like thing going in that they're part human, part plastic. But does there need to be a site dedicated to fucking women that are literally plastic? Or, well, whatever the fuck materials they use for those things.
I'm putting people who look at RealDoll porn up there in Christan Conservative territory on the loser scale. Again, if I'm calling you out in the "need to find something better to do with your time" department, you need to check yourself. I'm not going after people who have RealDolls, although I probably should, especially when taking into account how much one of those things costs. No, I don't have one, and am not intending to get one. Although considering where I'm at at this juncture, maybe I should. I'm good at buying things.
Oh, and for anyone new to RealDolls or anyone in need of review, go ye forth, and be creeped out.
Shit, speaking of creepy. We're alredy familiar with the full-on dolls that they sell, but check out this thing that they sell. Jesus R. Christ, I'm going to have nightmares about ol' Stumpy there. All I can picture is trying to fuck that thing and then the stumps start moving around of their own accord. Shit, I need to go drink.
Okay, I think this is a pretty weak crop again. I've been waiting for fucking ever for a really good search hit to come along to close off with, but it just isn't happening. This has been in draft stage for nearly a month and I just want to get it the fuck out there.
Spam:
Obesity is really widespread
No. Fucking. Shit.
who the fuck cares about danica patrick
Well, you, apparently.
do jews pray in a certain direction
Yeah -- facing the bank. Sorry, I couldn't resist. And I know you laughed, Mel Gibson.
Spam:
Bullets sprinkled 0n her twat
Nice, just what we were missing -- porn for the gun-nut set. In case this appeals to you, I recently read about (incoming porn link) this in Hustler.
iran sucks donkey dongs
Fuck, why haven't we had this guy doing our negotiating for us? The level of intelligence that this 'blog attracts via search engines is just astounding.
Spam:
Separate yourself from other men
I don't need some crap being hawked in junk mail to be able to accomplish that.
your shit is gonna get kicked in the fuck
What the hell is that even supposed to mean?
jimmy fucking her mom
Apparently, there's something about Jimmy we were previously unaware of. Okay, two things.
teresa heinz tits
When I first saw this in my referral log, the first thought that came into mind was Teresa Heinz Kerry topless with ketchup all over her tits. I know that's not a pleasant image, but it ended up in my head so now you have to suffer too.
how to fuck some women in vietnam
Talk to Gary Glitter. Oh, wait, women? Nevermind.
Spam:
Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!
There's an interesting new approach. "Sorry, honey, I just wasn't able to control my feelings for you." You know some women would buy into that at least once.
Spam:
Obesity is really widespread
No. Fucking. Shit.
who the fuck cares about danica patrick
Well, you, apparently.
do jews pray in a certain direction
Yeah -- facing the bank. Sorry, I couldn't resist. And I know you laughed, Mel Gibson.
Spam:
Bullets sprinkled 0n her twat
Nice, just what we were missing -- porn for the gun-nut set. In case this appeals to you, I recently read about (incoming porn link) this in Hustler.
iran sucks donkey dongs
Fuck, why haven't we had this guy doing our negotiating for us? The level of intelligence that this 'blog attracts via search engines is just astounding.
Spam:
Separate yourself from other men
I don't need some crap being hawked in junk mail to be able to accomplish that.
your shit is gonna get kicked in the fuck
What the hell is that even supposed to mean?
jimmy fucking her mom
Apparently, there's something about Jimmy we were previously unaware of. Okay, two things.
teresa heinz tits
When I first saw this in my referral log, the first thought that came into mind was Teresa Heinz Kerry topless with ketchup all over her tits. I know that's not a pleasant image, but it ended up in my head so now you have to suffer too.
how to fuck some women in vietnam
Talk to Gary Glitter. Oh, wait, women? Nevermind.
Spam:
Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!
There's an interesting new approach. "Sorry, honey, I just wasn't able to control my feelings for you." You know some women would buy into that at least once.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Alright, so saw this on CNN last night:
Is Britney's hubby -- 'K-Fed' -- a hip-hop joke?
Exactly why someone felt the need to even ask this is a sad referendum on, I dunno, everything. K-Fed is the only person I've ever known of who is pushing forward to have a music career solely to get people off his ass.
Have you seen or heard his shit? Oh my god. I wish I hadn't, but I have. That's what I get for letting myself get suckered into watching the Teen Choice Awards (some of you are asking "Why?", the rest of you have been here more than once). But seriously, dude, just go back to being Mr. Spears and shut the fuck up already. We can mock you just fine with you in that position.
Is Britney's hubby -- 'K-Fed' -- a hip-hop joke?
Exactly why someone felt the need to even ask this is a sad referendum on, I dunno, everything. K-Fed is the only person I've ever known of who is pushing forward to have a music career solely to get people off his ass.
Have you seen or heard his shit? Oh my god. I wish I hadn't, but I have. That's what I get for letting myself get suckered into watching the Teen Choice Awards (some of you are asking "Why?", the rest of you have been here more than once). But seriously, dude, just go back to being Mr. Spears and shut the fuck up already. We can mock you just fine with you in that position.
Spanktrovision
Christian conservatives are the biggest fucking losers in the history of mankind. These people need to get a life and find something better to do with their time. This coming from me.
A coalition of 13 conservative groups -- including the Family Research Council and Concerned Women for America -- took out full-page ads in some editions of USA Today earlier this month urging the Justice Department and FBI to investigate whether some of the pay-per-view movies widely available in hotels violate federal and state obscenity laws.
What the fuck? The shit they show in hotels is soft-core, for starters. Or at least, I was under the impression that most of it is. And if not, so what? It's not like they're gonna push any real boundaries by showing horse porn or something. And besides...
They made clear, however, that their companies consider adult movies to be an acceptable option because they can be ignored or blocked out by guests not wishing to view them.
I can't believe that such a simple concept is so easily ignored with so many things like this in this country. Of course, for these CC cretins, we shouldn't have basic rights like being able to make a choice to beat off. Choice is un-American. God, it's sad that I put that out there intending it to be a joke, only to realize it's true.
The leader of the campaign against in-room porn is Phil Burress, a self-described former porn addict who heads the Cincinnati-based Citizens for Community Values.
What a loser. Once you knew how to beat off and now you're repressed. That's great, chief.
"As more and more of these (hardcore) titles become available, we're going to have sexual abuse cases coming out of the hotels," he said. "Hotels are just as dangerous as environments around strip joints and porn stores."
I seriously don't want to live in a world where someone can say something this stupid and not immediately be shot in the face. This, of course, makes me as big of a fascist as the CC crowd is. But I'm not in charge of anything, nor do I have influence over anything of importance.
Seriously, though, back that shit up with some facts, asshole. Because, clearly, there are no sex abuse cases in hotels with porn out of the picture. Of course, facts are also un-American, especially to this crowd. All that matters to them is being a spoiled fucking baby that has to have everything it's lame-ass way.
Burress said he was "cautiously optimistic" that Justice Department officials -- whom he and other anti-porn leaders confer with periodically -- would seriously consider investigating hotel-based pornography.
It wouldn't surprise me if they did, those stupid shitheads. Because, really, this is something worth wasting time over. No real criminals left out there or anything. And nothing better these people could be doing with their time and money like, I dunno, helping people. No, that would be something Christ might do.
A coalition of 13 conservative groups -- including the Family Research Council and Concerned Women for America -- took out full-page ads in some editions of USA Today earlier this month urging the Justice Department and FBI to investigate whether some of the pay-per-view movies widely available in hotels violate federal and state obscenity laws.
What the fuck? The shit they show in hotels is soft-core, for starters. Or at least, I was under the impression that most of it is. And if not, so what? It's not like they're gonna push any real boundaries by showing horse porn or something. And besides...
They made clear, however, that their companies consider adult movies to be an acceptable option because they can be ignored or blocked out by guests not wishing to view them.
I can't believe that such a simple concept is so easily ignored with so many things like this in this country. Of course, for these CC cretins, we shouldn't have basic rights like being able to make a choice to beat off. Choice is un-American. God, it's sad that I put that out there intending it to be a joke, only to realize it's true.
The leader of the campaign against in-room porn is Phil Burress, a self-described former porn addict who heads the Cincinnati-based Citizens for Community Values.
What a loser. Once you knew how to beat off and now you're repressed. That's great, chief.
"As more and more of these (hardcore) titles become available, we're going to have sexual abuse cases coming out of the hotels," he said. "Hotels are just as dangerous as environments around strip joints and porn stores."
I seriously don't want to live in a world where someone can say something this stupid and not immediately be shot in the face. This, of course, makes me as big of a fascist as the CC crowd is. But I'm not in charge of anything, nor do I have influence over anything of importance.
Seriously, though, back that shit up with some facts, asshole. Because, clearly, there are no sex abuse cases in hotels with porn out of the picture. Of course, facts are also un-American, especially to this crowd. All that matters to them is being a spoiled fucking baby that has to have everything it's lame-ass way.
Burress said he was "cautiously optimistic" that Justice Department officials -- whom he and other anti-porn leaders confer with periodically -- would seriously consider investigating hotel-based pornography.
It wouldn't surprise me if they did, those stupid shitheads. Because, really, this is something worth wasting time over. No real criminals left out there or anything. And nothing better these people could be doing with their time and money like, I dunno, helping people. No, that would be something Christ might do.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
It's going to be wall-to-wall JonBenet for awhile, and as such things of importance such as this are getting pushed aside. Not that most would pay attention or care. Nor will it make a difference since Team Bush does what they want and they get away with it, anyway.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
So what was that bullshit we heard one time about the guy in the ads not being the real Dave Thomas?
I also find it rather amusing that the restaurant's "about us" page has a tagline of "We believe you deserve better." I haven't eaten at a Wendy's in years, and that's defintely a good thing. Going there means a triple cheeseburger greaseball that raises my cholesterol just from thinking about it. It has nearly 60 grams of fat if you need it. And now I want a Frosty. Fuck.
I also find it rather amusing that the restaurant's "about us" page has a tagline of "We believe you deserve better." I haven't eaten at a Wendy's in years, and that's defintely a good thing. Going there means a triple cheeseburger greaseball that raises my cholesterol just from thinking about it. It has nearly 60 grams of fat if you need it. And now I want a Frosty. Fuck.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Incoming porn link, so you've been warned.
Alright, so I just read about this in the AV Club. And, yeah. In many ways, that has to be the dumbest fucking thing ever. But it does have the potential for brilliance, just not for 30 bones a month. And could Jenna Jameson please go the fuck away now? Your tits are way too big, you've gotta be like 50 now, and you haven't been hot in a very, very long time, so please leave us alone.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? Aside from all the obvious reasons, and, well, I guess that answers my question. But c'mon. Every damn month it seems I get it from both sides when I peruse the latest issues of Hustler and Barely Legal. In the letters, guys will always get off about how they want to fuck Jenna Jameson. There was one asshole who actually said that he envied Jenna's husband because he's, quote, lucky. Maybe it's just me and I'm selfish (maybe?), but if I had a wife I'd really rather not have other guys sticking their dick in my wife all day long as a matter of course. Hey, if that works for you, no prob, but I'm guessing that's not the case for a lot of guys. Some shit sounds better in your head, chief, than it does in execution. But then again, a lot of guys are idiots. Hence, the vast majority of my referral log.
And then there are all the models who kiss ass with Jenna Jameson, saying how she's their idol, blah blah blah. I guess I can understand that in a way, though. If you can get in good with Jenna Jameson I'm sure you could make some inroads in porn. But it's still nauseating for everyone to be cumming all over themselves over the "plastic and rapidly aging" (as another non-sycophant letter writer put it) Jenna Jameson.
Alright, so I just read about this in the AV Club. And, yeah. In many ways, that has to be the dumbest fucking thing ever. But it does have the potential for brilliance, just not for 30 bones a month. And could Jenna Jameson please go the fuck away now? Your tits are way too big, you've gotta be like 50 now, and you haven't been hot in a very, very long time, so please leave us alone.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? Aside from all the obvious reasons, and, well, I guess that answers my question. But c'mon. Every damn month it seems I get it from both sides when I peruse the latest issues of Hustler and Barely Legal. In the letters, guys will always get off about how they want to fuck Jenna Jameson. There was one asshole who actually said that he envied Jenna's husband because he's, quote, lucky. Maybe it's just me and I'm selfish (maybe?), but if I had a wife I'd really rather not have other guys sticking their dick in my wife all day long as a matter of course. Hey, if that works for you, no prob, but I'm guessing that's not the case for a lot of guys. Some shit sounds better in your head, chief, than it does in execution. But then again, a lot of guys are idiots. Hence, the vast majority of my referral log.
And then there are all the models who kiss ass with Jenna Jameson, saying how she's their idol, blah blah blah. I guess I can understand that in a way, though. If you can get in good with Jenna Jameson I'm sure you could make some inroads in porn. But it's still nauseating for everyone to be cumming all over themselves over the "plastic and rapidly aging" (as another non-sycophant letter writer put it) Jenna Jameson.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
We'll always have Paris. Sadly.
One of the things I hate the most (this is pretty telling considering how much shit I hate) is bullshit celebrity announcements that are treated as if they're actual, important news. Like remember when Snoop Dogg gave up weed? That's great, Snoop, I'm cool with whatever you do. But aside from the impact it has on yourself and those around you, it's fucking meaningless. Or how about Lance Bass coming out recently? I don't give a shit if some man bander is gay or straight. It effects nothing other than the people he fucks.
Then today I see this. I don't give a flying fuck, OK? Hey, when you announce that you're going to stop showing off your cunt to the rest of the world (I mean the one between your legs, not the bigger one named "Paris Hilton"), then you can announce that as news because it will actually mean something to me. But this? Who gives a shit.
... says Hilton, who told the magazine she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime.
Alright, whatever. This woman just might have a looser interpretation of sex than Clinton. Pun intended.
"I never received a dime from it. It's just dirty money and he should give it all to some charity for the sexually abused or something."
How much money do you have, you fucking bitch? I'd be curious if she gives out any money that helps victims of sexual abuse. And even if she does, she could most likely stand to give a little bit more.
The Hilton Hotels heir and uber-socialite told the magazine she is "very shy" and relates to the late Princess Diana, who was hounded by photographers.
Again, Paris, we have all seen pictures of your vagina. I have known plenty of outgoing girls who have never had a picture showing their cooch show up in a magazine.
"I've been in cars trying to get away from speeding paparazzi before and it's horrible, so I can relate to Diana and the problems she had," Hilton is quoted as saying.
Yeah, well, except that Diana is dead, and you're not. Oh, if only things were reversed. The media hype around Di was fucking ridiculous, but at least she was a mother and supported some good causes. As opposed to, you know, being a dumb cunt who just expects others to donate to good causes.
The absolute worst thing about Paris Hilton is that she's ugly. I've seen maybe a couple of pictures where it was like, okay, maybe she's marginally pumpable there, if you can discount all the diseases you'd catch from her. But by and large she looks like shit. Obviously it would be preferable to deal with neither, but why can't we at least make a trade for her sister to be the one we always have to see all over the goddamn place? She's no prize package either, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's equally as vapid, but she's at least decent looking compared to that cunt Paris.
Then today I see this. I don't give a flying fuck, OK? Hey, when you announce that you're going to stop showing off your cunt to the rest of the world (I mean the one between your legs, not the bigger one named "Paris Hilton"), then you can announce that as news because it will actually mean something to me. But this? Who gives a shit.
... says Hilton, who told the magazine she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime.
Alright, whatever. This woman just might have a looser interpretation of sex than Clinton. Pun intended.
"I never received a dime from it. It's just dirty money and he should give it all to some charity for the sexually abused or something."
How much money do you have, you fucking bitch? I'd be curious if she gives out any money that helps victims of sexual abuse. And even if she does, she could most likely stand to give a little bit more.
The Hilton Hotels heir and uber-socialite told the magazine she is "very shy" and relates to the late Princess Diana, who was hounded by photographers.
Again, Paris, we have all seen pictures of your vagina. I have known plenty of outgoing girls who have never had a picture showing their cooch show up in a magazine.
"I've been in cars trying to get away from speeding paparazzi before and it's horrible, so I can relate to Diana and the problems she had," Hilton is quoted as saying.
Yeah, well, except that Diana is dead, and you're not. Oh, if only things were reversed. The media hype around Di was fucking ridiculous, but at least she was a mother and supported some good causes. As opposed to, you know, being a dumb cunt who just expects others to donate to good causes.
The absolute worst thing about Paris Hilton is that she's ugly. I've seen maybe a couple of pictures where it was like, okay, maybe she's marginally pumpable there, if you can discount all the diseases you'd catch from her. But by and large she looks like shit. Obviously it would be preferable to deal with neither, but why can't we at least make a trade for her sister to be the one we always have to see all over the goddamn place? She's no prize package either, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's equally as vapid, but she's at least decent looking compared to that cunt Paris.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Then there was this that I read about somewhat recently. No, it's not abuse, it's just stupid and fucked up. Fucked up for obvious reasons, and stupid for this comment by the photographer, Jill Greenberg, who undoubtedly considers herself an "artist":
"The first little boy I shot, Liam, suddenly became hysterically upset," the Los Angeles-based photographer said. "It reminded me of helplessness and anger I feel about our current political and social situation."
What? Jesus Christ lady, you are really fucking stretching your attempts at social commentary on this one. Your pretentiousness and self-importance really shine through with that leap in thought. This project isn't about the "helplessness and anger" you feel, it's about "Hi, I like to make kids cry."
Why are all the kids naked, or at least topless? If naked kids are involved and I'm calling you out instead of making a joke then you've probably done something wrong. And what kind of asshole parents are setting their kids up for this shit?
"Taking away a lollipop is not child abuse. There's no irreparable harm. I'm just not sure there's any significance to the photographs either."
Even if it's coming from some other pretentious art fuck, that pretty much says it all.
And while we're on the subject of pictures of kids (relax, what you expect from me is not forthcoming), I may as well link yet another gem from The Onion.
"The first little boy I shot, Liam, suddenly became hysterically upset," the Los Angeles-based photographer said. "It reminded me of helplessness and anger I feel about our current political and social situation."
What? Jesus Christ lady, you are really fucking stretching your attempts at social commentary on this one. Your pretentiousness and self-importance really shine through with that leap in thought. This project isn't about the "helplessness and anger" you feel, it's about "Hi, I like to make kids cry."
Why are all the kids naked, or at least topless? If naked kids are involved and I'm calling you out instead of making a joke then you've probably done something wrong. And what kind of asshole parents are setting their kids up for this shit?
"Taking away a lollipop is not child abuse. There's no irreparable harm. I'm just not sure there's any significance to the photographs either."
Even if it's coming from some other pretentious art fuck, that pretty much says it all.
And while we're on the subject of pictures of kids (relax, what you expect from me is not forthcoming), I may as well link yet another gem from The Onion.
Basement lipo. Yeah, no way that that can go wrong. This post, however, can go way more wrong.
"There are people who will take advantage of women who can't travel to Brazil or who don't have the resources, because aesthetics are so important in Brazil," she said.
Well, even if aesthetics are important, they apparently aren't all that choosy in the end. According to Maxim a few years back, one in ten women in Brazil has had sexual contact with an animal at some point. And we trust what Maxim has to say on everything.
"Get a load of this, everyone. Even as we're all sittin' here, somewhere out there somewhere, someone's having sex with an animal. Yeah! And some of you are thinkin' "Let's get there before there's a line." Well that's not what I'm talking about... People are having sex with animals! And then we wonder why the animals attack us!"
- Dave Attell
"There are people who will take advantage of women who can't travel to Brazil or who don't have the resources, because aesthetics are so important in Brazil," she said.
Well, even if aesthetics are important, they apparently aren't all that choosy in the end. According to Maxim a few years back, one in ten women in Brazil has had sexual contact with an animal at some point. And we trust what Maxim has to say on everything.
"Get a load of this, everyone. Even as we're all sittin' here, somewhere out there somewhere, someone's having sex with an animal. Yeah! And some of you are thinkin' "Let's get there before there's a line." Well that's not what I'm talking about... People are having sex with animals! And then we wonder why the animals attack us!"
- Dave Attell
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
This is pretty hilarious. If something that improbable happens, you were just somehow destined to get in trouble.
The woman, who became suspicious of the delay as the waitress went to call police, fled the Moosehead Saloon, but her companion provided her name.
Having your friend rat you out is also pretty solid. Of course, I guess you can't really expect for someone to lie to the cops for you. You should, however, give your friends a heads-up if you're fleeing the scene of some kind of crime so that maybe they can get the hell out too.
Maria Bergan, 23, of Lakewood, was charged Sunday night with identity theft and receiving stolen property.
And that makes it even more solid -- she was actually of legal age to drink. You might try mixing in a driver's license of your own someeday, Maria. You've only had seven years (depending on local laws) to get your shit together on that one.
The woman, who became suspicious of the delay as the waitress went to call police, fled the Moosehead Saloon, but her companion provided her name.
Having your friend rat you out is also pretty solid. Of course, I guess you can't really expect for someone to lie to the cops for you. You should, however, give your friends a heads-up if you're fleeing the scene of some kind of crime so that maybe they can get the hell out too.
Maria Bergan, 23, of Lakewood, was charged Sunday night with identity theft and receiving stolen property.
And that makes it even more solid -- she was actually of legal age to drink. You might try mixing in a driver's license of your own someeday, Maria. You've only had seven years (depending on local laws) to get your shit together on that one.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
See, why can't more politicians have a sense of humor like this? I think this country would be a lot better off if 230 years ago we hadn't declared our independence from being able to take a fucking joke.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
