Alright, I think the whole toy recall thing is getting out of control. Christ, are we gonna have to start recalling everything that might be harmful to kids? Like with most all these recalls (if not all of them), the only danger is through blatant product misuse.
Wednesday's recalls include about 7,200 "Big Red" Wagons imported by Northern Tool & Equipment Co. of Burnsville, Minn. Totaling about 405,700, the recalled children's products all had excessive levels of lead in their surface paint.
Although no illnesses connected to the toy car recall have been reported, lead is toxic if ingested by young children.
If your kid is ingesting his or her fucking wagon I think there are bigger issues. Shit, if they're just scraping paint off and eating it, that act alone is a fuckin' problem.
Scientists say a chemical coating on the beads, when ingested, metabolizes into the so-called date rape drug gamma hydroxy butyrate.
That is just fucking... Bizarre. I mean, what are the odds of that happening? I don't mean kids eating shit they're not supposed to, but the chemical coating getting converted to GHB after ingestion. I think this company deserves some kind of award. For something. Oh, and if you're expecting some kind of joke considering the GHB thing, forget it. It's too easy, and I need to cut back on that shit or I am gonna be the subject of the next recall.
Considering who I am and my opening to this post I know you're probably thinking that I'm thinking, to hell with these kids, if they're dumb enough to be putting this stuff in their mouth then just let Darwinism take its course. On one hand I'm like, yeah, kids should really be smarter. And if they're not, well, they might be doomed anyway.
But on the other hand, kids do stupid shit sometimes since they're, well, kids. Everyone makes mistakes and not all of them should carry the death penalty. Like did I ever tell you all about the time I spray painted my ass brown? I know I've told ETP 'cause it's like his most favorite story ever of mine but I can't remember if it's come up here or not.
I had to have been like four or five at the time. A neighborhood friend of mine and I got a hold of some spray paint somehow at my grandparents' house. And we proceeded to spray paint the fences, the shed, and, for some fucking reason, our asses. Lemme tell you, it was pretty awkward for my grandmother to have to be soliciting advice from others on how best to remove spray paint from a child's ass. I think I deserve some kinda bonus points for using the ever-appropriate color of brown.
Then there was another time that, for some reason, I had a pair of keys. And I was sitting there looking at an electrical socket. It had those two perfect slits, and I'm looking at the keys, and I was like hey, these must go in there. I got a good jolt from that, naturally, and this nice big blister on my hand. I remember crying my eyes out -- not so much from the pain but because I was worried the blister would catch fire. Why was I worried about that? I dunno, I'd just stuck two keys in an electrical socket, what the fuck do you want from me? I'm not sure if this incident played a part in me eventually becoming an electrical engineer or not. To this day, though, I really do not like working anywhere near 120V AC.
So yeah, I'm kinda torn on which way to go here. I suppose for these kids who end up hurting themselves, if they don't die the first time and they don't learn their lesson and they do the same stupid shit again, then fuck it, let 'em die. But if not they might still grow up OK after all. I, for one, never spray painted my ass again or stuck keys in an electrical socket again. And what if I had died? What kind of travesty would it have been for the world to miss out on me?
In closing, I am of course obligated to link to this.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Why can't they ever bring back good shows?
So I've discovered a new webcomic: Joe and Monkey. I'm not sure if it's consistently good or not, but there is this one, which is fucking awesome.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Defective Junk Hero
No, this isn't some kind of Viagra spam post. I picked up Shitty Cover Band III (AKA Guitar Hero III) this past weekend. Twice. On Friday I pick the game up after work, head home, get my wireless network shit set back up, and fire up the game. I start playing "Slow Ride." I'm a bit rusty since I haven't been practicing my fake plastic guitar skills in awhile, but I'm doing OK. Not stellar though, as I realize my timing sucks because I just cannot hit a red+green combination.
After awhile I realized the issue wasn't me (for once), but the shiny new wireless guitar. You know, the one us 360 owners get jacked an extra ten bucks for thanks to Microsoft's proprietary wireless interface (at least, I'm guessing that's why it's $10 more than the PS or Wii versions). Upon further investigation I found out that it actually worked when I would strum up, but not down. I was about to call ETP and ask him if this was some new dumbass feature they'd added to make the game more challenging.
Playing some more I further realized that doing a red+green+down worked, if you consider red+green+down registering as yellow to be working. At this point I'm like, probably not a new feature. Oh, it's a feature all right, the kind that plenty of other people are having. It didn't take much searching through forums to see that I was not alone in my wireless guitar woes. Yay for quality control and product testing.
I started to take the guitar apart but got to a point where I felt like a circuit board wasn't gonna move without me breaking it so I was like, fuck it. Back to the store for an exchange.
My second one seems to be working just fine. I haven't put in a ton of time on the game yet (and you know there's the looming spectre of my video game ADHD), but it's not bad. It's Guitar Hero. It looks a bit different but pretty much plays the same. My biggest complaint is the extra shit it puts up on screen while you're playing, like when you hit a note streak. That always fucks me up because I think it's telling me I have Star Power when of course I don't. I'm busy paying attention to shit at the bottom middle of the screen assholes, and it used to be useful for the game to tell me up top about Star Power. I'm not actually gonna read it douchebags, but when it popped up I knew what it was without looking away from what I was supposed to be playing.
As an aside, dontcha love how when you've been playing for awhile and then you finally look away from the screen, everything around you seems to be moving upwards? That was rather unsettling the first time it ever happened to me. And now it's just normal.
The only new feature I've come across is the whole boss battle thing, which I found rather annoying. Partly because it took me a buncha tries to beat Tom Morello since I'm retarded. Then there was the time I was trying to attack and I tilted the guitar up so quickly and violently that i hit myself in the head, also because I'm retarded. And now more so. But in the end I beat Morello, and afterwards we had a nice discussion on geopolitics and he pointed me in the direction of a communist bookstore for references to support his dumbass opinions.
I was under the impression that a good deal of songs were the actual songs by the original artists, but no, most (so far for me at least, and I'm too lazy to go look it up right now) are just performed by shitty cover bands. Hence my nickname for the game still stands. And yes, I'm full well aware that Shitty Cover Band would be a better nickname for the impending Rock Band, but I started referring to GH as such a ways back and it's too late to change now. Maybe I'll just refer to Rock Band as Shitty Rock Band.
So while the track list is pretty badass, I'm rather disappointed in all the crap ass cover bands. I was especially pissed when I heard "Barracuda," one of the first songs I can ever recall listening to and enjoying (can't fuckin' believe that song is actually two years older than me). I was looking forward to playing that song, and while fun, the whole shitty cover band experience kinda took off some of the lustre.
Speaking of Shitty Rock Band, I can't say I'm all that enthused for the game. It's like, I can already be mediocre at playing the fake plastic guitar. Am I really that stoked to learn to play the fake plastic drums? Because I sure as hell will not be doing any singing. I have a good voice and all, but singing? Fuck that shit.
After awhile I realized the issue wasn't me (for once), but the shiny new wireless guitar. You know, the one us 360 owners get jacked an extra ten bucks for thanks to Microsoft's proprietary wireless interface (at least, I'm guessing that's why it's $10 more than the PS or Wii versions). Upon further investigation I found out that it actually worked when I would strum up, but not down. I was about to call ETP and ask him if this was some new dumbass feature they'd added to make the game more challenging.
Playing some more I further realized that doing a red+green+down worked, if you consider red+green+down registering as yellow to be working. At this point I'm like, probably not a new feature. Oh, it's a feature all right, the kind that plenty of other people are having. It didn't take much searching through forums to see that I was not alone in my wireless guitar woes. Yay for quality control and product testing.
I started to take the guitar apart but got to a point where I felt like a circuit board wasn't gonna move without me breaking it so I was like, fuck it. Back to the store for an exchange.
My second one seems to be working just fine. I haven't put in a ton of time on the game yet (and you know there's the looming spectre of my video game ADHD), but it's not bad. It's Guitar Hero. It looks a bit different but pretty much plays the same. My biggest complaint is the extra shit it puts up on screen while you're playing, like when you hit a note streak. That always fucks me up because I think it's telling me I have Star Power when of course I don't. I'm busy paying attention to shit at the bottom middle of the screen assholes, and it used to be useful for the game to tell me up top about Star Power. I'm not actually gonna read it douchebags, but when it popped up I knew what it was without looking away from what I was supposed to be playing.
As an aside, dontcha love how when you've been playing for awhile and then you finally look away from the screen, everything around you seems to be moving upwards? That was rather unsettling the first time it ever happened to me. And now it's just normal.
The only new feature I've come across is the whole boss battle thing, which I found rather annoying. Partly because it took me a buncha tries to beat Tom Morello since I'm retarded. Then there was the time I was trying to attack and I tilted the guitar up so quickly and violently that i hit myself in the head, also because I'm retarded. And now more so. But in the end I beat Morello, and afterwards we had a nice discussion on geopolitics and he pointed me in the direction of a communist bookstore for references to support his dumbass opinions.
I was under the impression that a good deal of songs were the actual songs by the original artists, but no, most (so far for me at least, and I'm too lazy to go look it up right now) are just performed by shitty cover bands. Hence my nickname for the game still stands. And yes, I'm full well aware that Shitty Cover Band would be a better nickname for the impending Rock Band, but I started referring to GH as such a ways back and it's too late to change now. Maybe I'll just refer to Rock Band as Shitty Rock Band.
So while the track list is pretty badass, I'm rather disappointed in all the crap ass cover bands. I was especially pissed when I heard "Barracuda," one of the first songs I can ever recall listening to and enjoying (can't fuckin' believe that song is actually two years older than me). I was looking forward to playing that song, and while fun, the whole shitty cover band experience kinda took off some of the lustre.
Speaking of Shitty Rock Band, I can't say I'm all that enthused for the game. It's like, I can already be mediocre at playing the fake plastic guitar. Am I really that stoked to learn to play the fake plastic drums? Because I sure as hell will not be doing any singing. I have a good voice and all, but singing? Fuck that shit.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Paging Tom Hung
I guess you could say that the following link is mildly not safe for work (NSFW -- does anyone not know that acronym by now?). Well, that depends on where you work, and also your gender and how you want your sexual orientation viewed by others, I suppose. Either way, I just could not pass up on posting this. Found via The A.V. Club's Tolerability Index.
Be sure and check out the t-shirts they sell in the store, too. I like that some of them come in "dutch oven brown." Isn't a "Dutch oven" something dirty, like a Dutch treat or a Dutch surprise?
Be sure and check out the t-shirts they sell in the store, too. I like that some of them come in "dutch oven brown." Isn't a "Dutch oven" something dirty, like a Dutch treat or a Dutch surprise?
If you don't check Cracked.com regularly, you should.
Being me this is late, but here are two lists of interesting Halloween costumes from two of our favorite fucked up countries: Germany and Japan.
Being me this is late, but here are two lists of interesting Halloween costumes from two of our favorite fucked up countries: Germany and Japan.
New look
Alright, so the last time I changed my template was probably June of 2003. That's... Pretty awesome. I never wanted to change it because I'm not anywhere near strong enough with web page coding to come up with a decent layout on my own, and all of the templates suck balls. Plus if I use one of the lame-ass templates it's gonna take forever to get all of the customization shit I've added into the template.
Well, an hour or two after deciding to take the plunge, I see that I was exactly correct. The new look is ass. Like, it wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't all this useless blank space to the left and right of the blog. What the fuck is that about? I gotta figure out how to fix that because that shit is annoying. The parts where I've written shit are a waste of space as it is, we don't need more completely useless space here.
And of course getting all the shit I want in the page back in there has been a chore. Like for the most part it wasn't bad, until I got to comments. At first I was thinking, fuck it, I'll just start using Blogger's commenting system. And I quickly saw that those suck, so I had to get HaloScan up and running. Which was also a pain, but I guess I'm there now so I'll let that rest until something turns up broken.
So, there you go. I changed my look. I did that for you. And what do I get as thanks? Probably not even a comment after going through all that fucking trouble. Yeah, why the hell am I blogging again?
EDIT: Okay, so I changed to a different template, which also blows. But at least it stretches the width of the page now.
Well, an hour or two after deciding to take the plunge, I see that I was exactly correct. The new look is ass. Like, it wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't all this useless blank space to the left and right of the blog. What the fuck is that about? I gotta figure out how to fix that because that shit is annoying. The parts where I've written shit are a waste of space as it is, we don't need more completely useless space here.
And of course getting all the shit I want in the page back in there has been a chore. Like for the most part it wasn't bad, until I got to comments. At first I was thinking, fuck it, I'll just start using Blogger's commenting system. And I quickly saw that those suck, so I had to get HaloScan up and running. Which was also a pain, but I guess I'm there now so I'll let that rest until something turns up broken.
So, there you go. I changed my look. I did that for you. And what do I get as thanks? Probably not even a comment after going through all that fucking trouble. Yeah, why the hell am I blogging again?
EDIT: Okay, so I changed to a different template, which also blows. But at least it stretches the width of the page now.
I don't know what ended up happening to his SI column, but it doesn't matter since Jay Mohr has a new colum now at FOX Sports.
Friday, November 02, 2007
CNN occasionally posts articles from Mental Floss, and yeah, there's a site with tons of trivia shit that could be a real time-sink. Courtesy of that site I just found out that The Daily Show has a new video archive online.
Don't ask why, but the link from this post partially inspired me to blog again. Came across this 'blog, which for some reason amused me, at least in principle: Hot Chicks With Douchebags.
I'll bet you wish you'd stayed in bed
Alright Lunchbox let's try this again.
And no, I don't mean the whole blogging thing in general, I mean just trying to get a new post out again. You see, I tried this a couple days back, and it just wasn't feeling right. I even had a few posts under my belt and I went and pulled them all. Aside from the fact that I'm blogging, this is not looking good.
I used to have one main personal guideline for when I was doing this shit regularly: no self-censoring. I don't mean in the sense that I would hold back from saying "fuck" or "cunt" or whatever the hell I felt like -- if that's not clear you're not smart. I mean that quite a bit of what was going on in my head got posted. If there was anything you wanted to know about me (and you didn't), you could either figure it out by reading between the lines or I just fucking spelled it out clear as day. Only a retard like Buck could read this blog and not know what the shit I'm about. And once I posted something -- once it was "released into the wild" -- that was it. Sure, I'd go back and correct some shit. I'd post and re-post and re-re-post like a re-re as I found grammatical errors or thought of something else to add, but I'd never pull anything major out of a post, and I'd certainly never redact an entire post.
Well, now without having gotten a single new post out there, I've violated the above tenet. Yay for standards. I'm getting this shit out there now though, and it's pretty much like it was before, so I suppose that counts for something (yeah, I want a cookie).
Aside from the fact that I'm a sell-out to my own demons I really dunno why I'm doing this. I haven't blogged since February. Blogging started to feel like more of a chore and either it way wasn't entertaining me like it had been. It was also a good way to keep conversation going with ETP without having to do any talking or e-mailing; I could just say shit here or post interesting links or whatever and he had it all in one easy place. Well, I'm bored right now, and ETP is always working his balls off and I don't see much of him, so maybe the site's original utility can be revived. Either way, this experiment in boredom will probably be short-lived. We can hope.
Anyway, to get you caught up on capital "M" Me, here's what you missed:
While we're at it, who the fuck are you anyway? Probably nobody. I mean, I had, I dunno, three regular readers before, and they're long gone by now. I wonder when ETP will even discover this. Maybe I'll show up as an (un)pleasant surprise in someone's RSS aggregator ('cause that's what I went to school for), but that's about it.
Not surprisingly, though, my traffic is still decent, as my sitemeter stats page will attest to. Of course, that's pretty much all due to my incessant use of words like "fuck" and "underage." Man, I just don't know why I ever quit this gig.
Just to let you know that I'm still the same fuck-off (if not worse), I'm gonna share something with you. I think I'm pretty much getting myself into doll collecting. Well, okay, most boys whose families aren't infested with poor germs are doll collectors. The term "action figure" was, after all, invented specifically to avoid using the term "doll." And of course that was necessary because "doll" just isn't manly enough for... Children.
Well I say fuck that. Being 5'3" in good shoes any hopes of manliness died a long, long time ago for me, so that makes it even easier to let my girly side flourish and not give a shit. I like to shop for clothes and I like to decorate, but I also like cars and beer, and I still wanna bang chicks and I don't wanna cut my junk off. At least in this regard, I actually think I'm pretty well balanced.
Like with ETP and his purse, I'm just being honest about what's going on. And I've got a strong feminine side that I'm pretty cool with. So that all sounds pretty good.
After a recent purchase, though, I'm taking the next step. I recently learned about Pinky:st. toys, and I am in love. Cute anime-ish girls with interchangeable bodies so that you can vary their outfits. Cute. Clothes. Dress-up. Awesome.
At this juncture, for any newbies here, if you're about to throw together a sentence with the word "italics" and (probably) a mishandling of "irony," go fuck yourself.
At this juncture, for any old-timers here, you're probably thinking, dude, aside from the whole dress-up element, that's not so bad. At least not in the context of The Girls, who, for the uninitiated, are my collection of female anime figures that I have prominently displayed at my home. They have their own room.
I nearly got into full-flej doll collecting several years ago when I found some dolls on HLJ and a whole series of doll clothes made by a company called Azone. Amongst the clothes you could buy were, of course, sailor schoolgirl uniforms. I think pretty much everything was sold out though, so that put the skids on that descent into "dude, what the fuck" for awhile.
Looking through that Azone stuff, it appears as if most everything is still sold out. Goddammit. Although once I noticed the prices on some of that stuff, I was like yeah, that's kinda roughing up my walkawear too. Even if I could find the dolls in stock and the outfits, I'm not sure I wanna be paying twenty bucks per for outfits.
Just to pull us back from the realms of creepiness for a minute... Well, sorta. Since Japan is on the table, I was bound to come across something fucked up and utterly hilarious at some point. And here that is. Thanks for that, Japan.
Japan: you've got problems, and so do we.
One really awesome series I did come across was "Girls Mission," which appears to simply be schoolgirls with guns. That is seriously so fucking badass that I just don't have words to adequately describe my enthusiasm. I'm not enthused about the seventy-some dollars per doll, but when something like that shows up there's nothing I can do.
I still think my desire to collect dolls is partly just because I want to get to dollhouses. We all know about my hardon for playsets, and the dollhouse is just the Omega Playset. My fetish for minituares is also well documented. So, it's either about mini shit and playsets, or I'm just fucked up.
While we're on the subject, I think it's at least partly through dolls that we completely fuck girls up in our society. After a stroll down the doll aisles at Toys 'R' Sucks with ETP and BOETP one day and listening to her talk about the whole subject, I was like, yeah, I can see how women end up so goddamn crazy.
Oh, and then there was one day a couple years back when I was shopping for Barbies for a friend's daughter for Christmas. I came across Barbie with her kitchen playset. And pregnant Barbie. And I was like, do I really want to be sending this message to a 6-year-old girl? I ended up doing OK though, since I am the best at all toy shopping -- I settled on ballerina Barbie (because she has some talent -- save the jokes) and Veterinarian Barbie (because she has an education and a job).
Looking at those two incidents I'm like, yeah, I'm fucked up, but pretty much all my dumbass shit is in my head. Real life is sicker.
I think maybe another reason I'm looking towards dolls is because I don't have a girlfriend to buy clothes for. Hey, why have toys when you can have the real thing? C'mon ladies, it's a good deal (if you're materialistic like me) -- you will get driven around in nice cars, you will get taken out for nice meals, I will take you clothes shopping, and my back is strong (except that it isn't). Never mind the fact that I'm a complete fucking headcase and this is kinda weird; you can't have it all, you know?
Alright, so you just read a post from a 28-year-old guy talking about dolls and how he's gonna start collecting dolls. Welcome back.
And no, I don't mean the whole blogging thing in general, I mean just trying to get a new post out again. You see, I tried this a couple days back, and it just wasn't feeling right. I even had a few posts under my belt and I went and pulled them all. Aside from the fact that I'm blogging, this is not looking good.
I used to have one main personal guideline for when I was doing this shit regularly: no self-censoring. I don't mean in the sense that I would hold back from saying "fuck" or "cunt" or whatever the hell I felt like -- if that's not clear you're not smart. I mean that quite a bit of what was going on in my head got posted. If there was anything you wanted to know about me (and you didn't), you could either figure it out by reading between the lines or I just fucking spelled it out clear as day. Only a retard like Buck could read this blog and not know what the shit I'm about. And once I posted something -- once it was "released into the wild" -- that was it. Sure, I'd go back and correct some shit. I'd post and re-post and re-re-post like a re-re as I found grammatical errors or thought of something else to add, but I'd never pull anything major out of a post, and I'd certainly never redact an entire post.
Well, now without having gotten a single new post out there, I've violated the above tenet. Yay for standards. I'm getting this shit out there now though, and it's pretty much like it was before, so I suppose that counts for something (yeah, I want a cookie).
Aside from the fact that I'm a sell-out to my own demons I really dunno why I'm doing this. I haven't blogged since February. Blogging started to feel like more of a chore and either it way wasn't entertaining me like it had been. It was also a good way to keep conversation going with ETP without having to do any talking or e-mailing; I could just say shit here or post interesting links or whatever and he had it all in one easy place. Well, I'm bored right now, and ETP is always working his balls off and I don't see much of him, so maybe the site's original utility can be revived. Either way, this experiment in boredom will probably be short-lived. We can hope.
Anyway, to get you caught up on capital "M" Me, here's what you missed:
- My four-year anniversary (WTF? Four? I mean, seriously).
- Yet another suck-ass summer I thought might be cool that wasn't.
- Spring and the beginning of fall, which also suck.
- Speaking of sucking, the Cubs. Or the Rockies if you wanna play hardball.
- Will someone please punch Chris Matthews in the cock?
- Also Tycho, that fat d-bag from Penny Arcade who is sooooo in love with his ability to use words (yay, I can use "fuck" too!). Fuck him because of the aforementioned unfounded arrogance along with how he insists on italicising every other fucking word.
- Me, not letting a joke go until it blows... Hard.
- Pining about schoolgirls.
- Talk about the Bimmer.
- Bitching.
While we're at it, who the fuck are you anyway? Probably nobody. I mean, I had, I dunno, three regular readers before, and they're long gone by now. I wonder when ETP will even discover this. Maybe I'll show up as an (un)pleasant surprise in someone's RSS aggregator ('cause that's what I went to school for), but that's about it.
Not surprisingly, though, my traffic is still decent, as my sitemeter stats page will attest to. Of course, that's pretty much all due to my incessant use of words like "fuck" and "underage." Man, I just don't know why I ever quit this gig.
Just to let you know that I'm still the same fuck-off (if not worse), I'm gonna share something with you. I think I'm pretty much getting myself into doll collecting. Well, okay, most boys whose families aren't infested with poor germs are doll collectors. The term "action figure" was, after all, invented specifically to avoid using the term "doll." And of course that was necessary because "doll" just isn't manly enough for... Children.
Well I say fuck that. Being 5'3" in good shoes any hopes of manliness died a long, long time ago for me, so that makes it even easier to let my girly side flourish and not give a shit. I like to shop for clothes and I like to decorate, but I also like cars and beer, and I still wanna bang chicks and I don't wanna cut my junk off. At least in this regard, I actually think I'm pretty well balanced.
Like with ETP and his purse, I'm just being honest about what's going on. And I've got a strong feminine side that I'm pretty cool with. So that all sounds pretty good.
After a recent purchase, though, I'm taking the next step. I recently learned about Pinky:st. toys, and I am in love. Cute anime-ish girls with interchangeable bodies so that you can vary their outfits. Cute. Clothes. Dress-up. Awesome.
At this juncture, for any newbies here, if you're about to throw together a sentence with the word "italics" and (probably) a mishandling of "irony," go fuck yourself.
At this juncture, for any old-timers here, you're probably thinking, dude, aside from the whole dress-up element, that's not so bad. At least not in the context of The Girls, who, for the uninitiated, are my collection of female anime figures that I have prominently displayed at my home. They have their own room.
I nearly got into full-flej doll collecting several years ago when I found some dolls on HLJ and a whole series of doll clothes made by a company called Azone. Amongst the clothes you could buy were, of course, sailor schoolgirl uniforms. I think pretty much everything was sold out though, so that put the skids on that descent into "dude, what the fuck" for awhile.
Looking through that Azone stuff, it appears as if most everything is still sold out. Goddammit. Although once I noticed the prices on some of that stuff, I was like yeah, that's kinda roughing up my walkawear too. Even if I could find the dolls in stock and the outfits, I'm not sure I wanna be paying twenty bucks per for outfits.
Just to pull us back from the realms of creepiness for a minute... Well, sorta. Since Japan is on the table, I was bound to come across something fucked up and utterly hilarious at some point. And here that is. Thanks for that, Japan.
Japan: you've got problems, and so do we.
One really awesome series I did come across was "Girls Mission," which appears to simply be schoolgirls with guns. That is seriously so fucking badass that I just don't have words to adequately describe my enthusiasm. I'm not enthused about the seventy-some dollars per doll, but when something like that shows up there's nothing I can do.
I still think my desire to collect dolls is partly just because I want to get to dollhouses. We all know about my hardon for playsets, and the dollhouse is just the Omega Playset. My fetish for minituares is also well documented. So, it's either about mini shit and playsets, or I'm just fucked up.
While we're on the subject, I think it's at least partly through dolls that we completely fuck girls up in our society. After a stroll down the doll aisles at Toys 'R' Sucks with ETP and BOETP one day and listening to her talk about the whole subject, I was like, yeah, I can see how women end up so goddamn crazy.
Oh, and then there was one day a couple years back when I was shopping for Barbies for a friend's daughter for Christmas. I came across Barbie with her kitchen playset. And pregnant Barbie. And I was like, do I really want to be sending this message to a 6-year-old girl? I ended up doing OK though, since I am the best at all toy shopping -- I settled on ballerina Barbie (because she has some talent -- save the jokes) and Veterinarian Barbie (because she has an education and a job).
Looking at those two incidents I'm like, yeah, I'm fucked up, but pretty much all my dumbass shit is in my head. Real life is sicker.
I think maybe another reason I'm looking towards dolls is because I don't have a girlfriend to buy clothes for. Hey, why have toys when you can have the real thing? C'mon ladies, it's a good deal (if you're materialistic like me) -- you will get driven around in nice cars, you will get taken out for nice meals, I will take you clothes shopping, and my back is strong (except that it isn't). Never mind the fact that I'm a complete fucking headcase and this is kinda weird; you can't have it all, you know?
Alright, so you just read a post from a 28-year-old guy talking about dolls and how he's gonna start collecting dolls. Welcome back.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
It's been awhile, so here's a new batch of the shit I have to put up with online. Since the quality of Google pedos is declining (or rising, depending on how you want to look at it), I had to mix in a few more spams to get a decent list going. "Decent," of course, also being up for debate.
Your wife will be happier, if you use Viagra Pro.
Dick pill pro. Yeah, your dick's so broken you need professional grade dick meds to get it goin'. That should make the wife pretty happy.
how to pronounce jim rome
Could there be a simpler name to pronounce than Jim Rome? God damn it, no wonder people complain about the quality of education in this country. And yes, this searcher was from this country. Utah, in fact, which pretty much explains everything. Any group of people that will be floored by such "advanced" English phrases as "repressed sexual tendencies" and "Nazi-esque" is really in need of a shitload better book learnin'.
Speaking of education, here's a an ad that showed up at the top of my GMail inbox:
Online College Serach - quiz.learningandlife.com - An easy 10 Question Quiz to see if College Online is right for you.
Hey, why not? Looks like your serach for a quality education is over. Sure worked out well for those people.
Spam:
Lose weight while having sex
Yay, just what fatties need: The Catch-22 Diet.
how to suck your own cock if you are not flexible
Unless if it's fucking huge and you can get it to bend properly, the only other option is to cut it off and then you can suck it. Seriously, being flexible is, like, the pre-req for being able to do that. If you're too stupid to realize this, then just work on trying to be more flexible so you will hopefully snap your spine so we can be rid of you.
woman fucking appliances
The first thing that came to mind when I saw this one was a woman trying to get it on with her refrigerator, and that's just funny.
what is the biggest shit ever
Man, I've had a couple recently that might qualify, but I'll spare you the details. Like one yesterday, which I could best describe as "two for the price of one." Okay, seriously, I'll stop. You know how sometimes you'll drop one off that just amazes you, though? Like, so big you're almost proud of it and thinking, holy crap, that was in me? Or how about ones that come out in interesting shapes, like one with a perfect 90 degree angle? How does that happen? Okay, really, I'll stop now. Anyway, maybe this one was more for the guys out there. And coprophiliacs. You know you're gonna think about this sometime in the near future when you're on the shitter, though. But before we get off of that subject...
i shit at everything
I feel pretty safe in saying this individual is less popular than I am.
little fucking man
Yup, that pretty much describes me. Except for the fucking. And the man.
why does a man argue with you for just about everything
I dunno, why are you such a bitch for just about everything?
why god am I such a pathetic loser that I scare off every woman I speak to
Look dude, I feel your pain, but maybe the fact that you are asking Google these all-important questions could be a good place to start looking for the answer. Also, why are you asking this to Google? Are they god now? Jesus, that company needs to be stopped. Also, for those keeping score at home, I'm #7 on that search, so that's pretty solid.
A few more spams:
Tight slits crammed full of cock
They're crammed full -- you got that? Nothing particularly funny about this one, I just liked the simple, straightforward language.
Parents seducing their young daughter LOL
Yeah, if anything deserves an LOL'ing, it's that. Good job spam people.
We found hot slut for you Biitterlittleman!
Finally, the personal service I deserve. Seriously, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? My own friends can't even help out in finding girls to introduce me to, but yeah, some spam fucker is gonna get the job done.
Girls in your area who like money for sex Bitterlittleman
Yeah, I'd imagine there are quite a few girls like that in my area, but they're missing the boat and not taking any of my money.
jerking off my sister
Alright, I'll just let that one speak for itself, and it also gives me an opening to reference this Bash quote. Apparently one guy finally got sick of other guys lying about the size of their cocks.
Your wife will be happier, if you use Viagra Pro.
Dick pill pro. Yeah, your dick's so broken you need professional grade dick meds to get it goin'. That should make the wife pretty happy.
how to pronounce jim rome
Could there be a simpler name to pronounce than Jim Rome? God damn it, no wonder people complain about the quality of education in this country. And yes, this searcher was from this country. Utah, in fact, which pretty much explains everything. Any group of people that will be floored by such "advanced" English phrases as "repressed sexual tendencies" and "Nazi-esque" is really in need of a shitload better book learnin'.
Speaking of education, here's a an ad that showed up at the top of my GMail inbox:
Online College Serach - quiz.learningandlife.com - An easy 10 Question Quiz to see if College Online is right for you.
Hey, why not? Looks like your serach for a quality education is over. Sure worked out well for those people.
Spam:
Lose weight while having sex
Yay, just what fatties need: The Catch-22 Diet.
how to suck your own cock if you are not flexible
Unless if it's fucking huge and you can get it to bend properly, the only other option is to cut it off and then you can suck it. Seriously, being flexible is, like, the pre-req for being able to do that. If you're too stupid to realize this, then just work on trying to be more flexible so you will hopefully snap your spine so we can be rid of you.
woman fucking appliances
The first thing that came to mind when I saw this one was a woman trying to get it on with her refrigerator, and that's just funny.
what is the biggest shit ever
Man, I've had a couple recently that might qualify, but I'll spare you the details. Like one yesterday, which I could best describe as "two for the price of one." Okay, seriously, I'll stop. You know how sometimes you'll drop one off that just amazes you, though? Like, so big you're almost proud of it and thinking, holy crap, that was in me? Or how about ones that come out in interesting shapes, like one with a perfect 90 degree angle? How does that happen? Okay, really, I'll stop now. Anyway, maybe this one was more for the guys out there. And coprophiliacs. You know you're gonna think about this sometime in the near future when you're on the shitter, though. But before we get off of that subject...
i shit at everything
I feel pretty safe in saying this individual is less popular than I am.
little fucking man
Yup, that pretty much describes me. Except for the fucking. And the man.
why does a man argue with you for just about everything
I dunno, why are you such a bitch for just about everything?
why god am I such a pathetic loser that I scare off every woman I speak to
Look dude, I feel your pain, but maybe the fact that you are asking Google these all-important questions could be a good place to start looking for the answer. Also, why are you asking this to Google? Are they god now? Jesus, that company needs to be stopped. Also, for those keeping score at home, I'm #7 on that search, so that's pretty solid.
A few more spams:
Tight slits crammed full of cock
They're crammed full -- you got that? Nothing particularly funny about this one, I just liked the simple, straightforward language.
Parents seducing their young daughter LOL
Yeah, if anything deserves an LOL'ing, it's that. Good job spam people.
We found hot slut for you Biitterlittleman!
Finally, the personal service I deserve. Seriously, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? My own friends can't even help out in finding girls to introduce me to, but yeah, some spam fucker is gonna get the job done.
Girls in your area who like money for sex Bitterlittleman
Yeah, I'd imagine there are quite a few girls like that in my area, but they're missing the boat and not taking any of my money.
jerking off my sister
Alright, I'll just let that one speak for itself, and it also gives me an opening to reference this Bash quote. Apparently one guy finally got sick of other guys lying about the size of their cocks.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
All Danforth ever wanted was a water slide
When Iraqis or soldiers out in the real Iraq hear about shit like this, they've gotta be pretty pissed. People are out there getting blown up regularly but the Green Zone is fucking awesome. Somewhere in the Green Zone you'll find two turntables and a microphone because apparently that place is where it's at. Shit, reading that I almost wanna go over there and work in the Green Zone. Until I have to start kissing ass and praising "the mission," then I'm out.
I also found this amusing:
The atmosphere was thick with sexual tension. At the bar, there were usually 10 men to every woman. With tours of duty that sometimes stretched to six months without a home leave, some with wedding rings began to refer to themselves as "operationally single."
That's pretty solid.
I also found this amusing:
The atmosphere was thick with sexual tension. At the bar, there were usually 10 men to every woman. With tours of duty that sometimes stretched to six months without a home leave, some with wedding rings began to refer to themselves as "operationally single."
That's pretty solid.
Friday, February 16, 2007
You know all those stupid assholes who show up here trying to find ways they can give themselves the hiccups? I'm sure this girl would be more than happy to trade places with any one of them. Having the hiccups for three weeks and counting would be a fucking nightmare.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I don't really have a reason to post this other than it just showed up as one of the "related articles" to an Onion page I was reading. Not that one ever needs an excuse to re-set one of the all-time great Onion articles.
I suppose I could make it topical by delving into the recent controversy stirred up by John Amaechi coming out of the closet or what Tim Hardaway had to say in response. Of course, I don't think we really need to have me go into how I feel since we all know how I feel when it comes to gays and dumbass homophobes. This sums things up pretty well for me, too. I would add that I'm glad Hardaway said that he "hates" gays, because, once again, I appreciate honesty and like knowing just how ignorant people really are. Yup, he's entitled to his opinion, even if he's stupid. There's just no logical reason to get bent out of shape over something that has no discernible impact on you whatsoever.
I suppose I could make it topical by delving into the recent controversy stirred up by John Amaechi coming out of the closet or what Tim Hardaway had to say in response. Of course, I don't think we really need to have me go into how I feel since we all know how I feel when it comes to gays and dumbass homophobes. This sums things up pretty well for me, too. I would add that I'm glad Hardaway said that he "hates" gays, because, once again, I appreciate honesty and like knowing just how ignorant people really are. Yup, he's entitled to his opinion, even if he's stupid. There's just no logical reason to get bent out of shape over something that has no discernible impact on you whatsoever.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Way to get with last century's program, idiots. I know I'm all uppity and stuff because I'm educated and I learned things and shit, but sometimes people are wrong and the rest of us are right.
And Greg Lassey, a retired Wichita-area biology teacher, said the new standards undermine families by "discrediting parents who reject materialism and the ethics and morals it fosters."
Whatever, Wichitard. No, I did not come up with that on my own, but yes, I've been waiting for awhile to break that one off.
And Greg Lassey, a retired Wichita-area biology teacher, said the new standards undermine families by "discrediting parents who reject materialism and the ethics and morals it fosters."
Whatever, Wichitard. No, I did not come up with that on my own, but yes, I've been waiting for awhile to break that one off.
Alright, it's only been a few minutes of editing and less than a dozen posts, and I've already got going what has to be one of the more offensive sets of tags, ERRRRR, labels. Yeah, this isn't degenerating quickly.
Just to make this post slightly less useless, I'll reference my Valentine's post from a few years back since I will never be able to top that, nor will my feelings ever deviate from that. And of course, don't forget to check your balls.
Again, the day is nearly over, but that might be good for anyone reading late and in need of some re-sets or some newbies tomorrow with a V-day hangover.
Just to make this post slightly less useless, I'll reference my Valentine's post from a few years back since I will never be able to top that, nor will my feelings ever deviate from that. And of course, don't forget to check your balls.
Again, the day is nearly over, but that might be good for anyone reading late and in need of some re-sets or some newbies tomorrow with a V-day hangover.
yes, no, maybe, fud, notfud, itsatrap, securitytheater, thinkofthechildren
Even though Valentine's Day is nearly over, I thought it was still worth it to post a story about the pure love that is incest. Or lack thereof. Dunno about the study, sounds kinda flaky. Like did it take into account whether or not your sister is hot? Not saying that makes it better, but we understand. And you're at least gonna think about it even if you're not happy about it. Or maybe that's just me since I've got the hot stepsister thing going on so I don't have to feel as guilty for those thoughts.
Anyway... Found this line interesting, and by interesting I mean, maybe you should have phrased this better to get your point across:
Especially strong was the effect of watching one's mother care for a younger child. "They would be very altrustic towards that baby and they'd be grossed out at the idea of sex with that baby as an adult," Cosmides said.
At first I was like, I sure hope you'd be grossed out by the idea of sex with that baby, otherwise you've got more problems than I do.
If you're at all bothered by this post, save it. You should be happy I did it considering the fucking trouble I had to go through so that I could make it. What trouble? Where should I start.
First, I go to Blogger. Of course, where the fuck else am I gonna go, right? Anyway, I try to log in, and it's giving me some shit about switching to the new Blogger. And I'm like, fuck this, I don't wanna switch. Why not? Couple reasons. One, the last time Blogger went through a major change, I referred to it as "the worst thing ever." I even e-mailed Blogger and said as much, and I don't think I got so much as a form-letter reply. Fuckers.
But I was like, fine. I'll switch. Even though I've tried switching before but you complained that my 'blog was too big to transition over, even when you were out of beta. Now, though, when it's up to you and not me, yeah, I've gotta switch. Prick.
So fine, let's do this. I'm a, no, fuck it, I'm not going to finish that Dane Cook reference there because that guy's shit is played out and he's not funny anymore. Anyway, I decide to just get it over with. I get through step one of verifying my "old" Blogger identity. Why I needed to do that when I just did it six seconds prior I don't know. But I did it. And then I get to the page asking for a Google account. Great, I've got one of those. On the page there's a button on the right to create a Google account under "no", and... And a light blue box under "yes" with not a fucking thing in it. And I already know what's in there, it's something useful for the task at hand and neither Mozilla nor Firefox ever show useful things.
So, fuck. After fucking with about three different browsers I was just, like, forget it. I'm done. With blogging. Forever. We know that that means nothing, as evidenced by this post right here and my track record. I was just discouraged because I knew to get things set right I was gonna have to reboot into Windows and use IE (keeping in mind that I use an OS where shit doesn't work because that makes me cool, AKA a weenie).
But I sucked it up and I did it, and here I am. The new Blogger. Woo fucking hoo. At this point I haven't used it enough to figure out what I hate about it yet, but I'm sure I'll find some things. One thing I am stoked about, though, is tags. That was pretty much my only motivation to migrate when I had tried it before. Not like tags really contribute anything, as evidenced by tagging on Slashdot, but maybe it will keep me marginally amused for awhile.
Sorry, labels, not tags. And it automatically alphabetizes them for me (let the record stand that incest was the first tag applied to a post on this blog). Yeah, the new Blogger is already pissing me off.
Anyway... Found this line interesting, and by interesting I mean, maybe you should have phrased this better to get your point across:
Especially strong was the effect of watching one's mother care for a younger child. "They would be very altrustic towards that baby and they'd be grossed out at the idea of sex with that baby as an adult," Cosmides said.
At first I was like, I sure hope you'd be grossed out by the idea of sex with that baby, otherwise you've got more problems than I do.
If you're at all bothered by this post, save it. You should be happy I did it considering the fucking trouble I had to go through so that I could make it. What trouble? Where should I start.
First, I go to Blogger. Of course, where the fuck else am I gonna go, right? Anyway, I try to log in, and it's giving me some shit about switching to the new Blogger. And I'm like, fuck this, I don't wanna switch. Why not? Couple reasons. One, the last time Blogger went through a major change, I referred to it as "the worst thing ever." I even e-mailed Blogger and said as much, and I don't think I got so much as a form-letter reply. Fuckers.
But I was like, fine. I'll switch. Even though I've tried switching before but you complained that my 'blog was too big to transition over, even when you were out of beta. Now, though, when it's up to you and not me, yeah, I've gotta switch. Prick.
So fine, let's do this. I'm a, no, fuck it, I'm not going to finish that Dane Cook reference there because that guy's shit is played out and he's not funny anymore. Anyway, I decide to just get it over with. I get through step one of verifying my "old" Blogger identity. Why I needed to do that when I just did it six seconds prior I don't know. But I did it. And then I get to the page asking for a Google account. Great, I've got one of those. On the page there's a button on the right to create a Google account under "no", and... And a light blue box under "yes" with not a fucking thing in it. And I already know what's in there, it's something useful for the task at hand and neither Mozilla nor Firefox ever show useful things.
So, fuck. After fucking with about three different browsers I was just, like, forget it. I'm done. With blogging. Forever. We know that that means nothing, as evidenced by this post right here and my track record. I was just discouraged because I knew to get things set right I was gonna have to reboot into Windows and use IE (keeping in mind that I use an OS where shit doesn't work because that makes me cool, AKA a weenie).
But I sucked it up and I did it, and here I am. The new Blogger. Woo fucking hoo. At this point I haven't used it enough to figure out what I hate about it yet, but I'm sure I'll find some things. One thing I am stoked about, though, is tags. That was pretty much my only motivation to migrate when I had tried it before. Not like tags really contribute anything, as evidenced by tagging on Slashdot, but maybe it will keep me marginally amused for awhile.
Sorry, labels, not tags. And it automatically alphabetizes them for me (let the record stand that incest was the first tag applied to a post on this blog). Yeah, the new Blogger is already pissing me off.
Friday, February 09, 2007
If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college
I found this article to be pretty amusing, and it does bring up a good point. We do pick and choose what we kill and eat based on nothing but shallow nonsense, and that's one of the many things that makes us stupid. And barbaric, blah blah blah, but meat is good.
And although I'm about a week behind the curve, I should reference this Onion article at least for posterity's sake since it pretty well sums up how I feel about that bullshit. Look, it's sad enough if you get more than a little bummed out over a celebrity dying or something, but if you're getting involved in candlelight vigils for a fucking horse, you should be killed and turned into glue. Yes, in case you missed it, I distinctly remember actually reading about at least one candlelight vigil after he first got injured. It simply makes no sense to me to get all bent out of shape over someone who you never knew and had no direct impact on your life.
And let's face it, they were probably just trying to keep that thing alive for stud fees and whatnot anyway. The only amusement I can take away from the Barbaro nonsense is that if this line of reasoning is correct, it means it was at least one person's job to, uh, handle that business for the last eight months.
And although I'm about a week behind the curve, I should reference this Onion article at least for posterity's sake since it pretty well sums up how I feel about that bullshit. Look, it's sad enough if you get more than a little bummed out over a celebrity dying or something, but if you're getting involved in candlelight vigils for a fucking horse, you should be killed and turned into glue. Yes, in case you missed it, I distinctly remember actually reading about at least one candlelight vigil after he first got injured. It simply makes no sense to me to get all bent out of shape over someone who you never knew and had no direct impact on your life.
And let's face it, they were probably just trying to keep that thing alive for stud fees and whatnot anyway. The only amusement I can take away from the Barbaro nonsense is that if this line of reasoning is correct, it means it was at least one person's job to, uh, handle that business for the last eight months.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
This is several days old, but it nicely sums up why I have a difficult time getting behind John McCain. The guy obviously wants us to think he's all hardcore and shit like the McLean Deluxe, but he just pusses out way too much. Just imagine what a bad-ass he'd look like if he had really been a rebel all these years and gone against Bush more. If anyone has had a right to hate Bush and tell him to go fuck himself it's McCain, and he should have rolled with that since the 2000 campaign.
On the D side, hey guys and gals, you go ahead and put up Hillary or Obama or both (my favorite idea so far) and see where that gets you. Hillary is, well, Hillary, someone even a lot of Democrats have trouble getting on board with. I just can't stand her transparent attempts to cast off her liberal reputation. It'd be great to have a female president, but Hillary might not be the best choice when it comes to breaking through that particular barrier.
And Obama? Look, I'd also love to see a black president, but at this point I just don't think it's gonna happen. A black guy up for president would bring every fuckin' racist out of the woodwork to vote against him. The whole goddamn south is guaranteed to be solid bloody red. I hope maybe I'm just being too cynical, and the guy does have some skills after all. But with as racist as this country still is, I'd say it's a pretty big gamble right now.
Another strike against Obama: Hustler questioned his liberal street cred in their "Asshole of the Month" column recently, and we all know that Larry Flynt is where to turn when you want to know what's up (or if you want a bunch of skanks with gigantic fake tits and neverending left-wing blabber... yes, my opinion of Larry has shifted in recent times).
If nothing else, can people stop referring to Obama as a "rising star" already? That shit is fucking played out.
Right now I like the idea of Rudy Giuliani, or at least someone Giuliani-esque, becoming president. You know, a guy who's Republican, but not fucking psycho like these neocon bastards. Someone socially liberal but fiscally conservative (dunno if that really means anything, but we all love to throw around that phrase because it sounds cool).
I say this assuming congress stays Democrat, because I'm liking the whole divided government thing. So a flop with an R congress and D president could achieve that as well. It doesn't really make things spectacular or anything, but it beats that whole imbalance nonsense we'd seen for the past six years. And even if part or all of congress went back the R way, a Republican who might actually argue with congress would be a step up from Bush. Of course, many of us think that just about anything would be a step up from Bush, and it's that kind of desperate mentality that gave us a douchebag like John Kerry last time. Thank Christ that cocksucker isn't trying again, eh?
On the D side, hey guys and gals, you go ahead and put up Hillary or Obama or both (my favorite idea so far) and see where that gets you. Hillary is, well, Hillary, someone even a lot of Democrats have trouble getting on board with. I just can't stand her transparent attempts to cast off her liberal reputation. It'd be great to have a female president, but Hillary might not be the best choice when it comes to breaking through that particular barrier.
And Obama? Look, I'd also love to see a black president, but at this point I just don't think it's gonna happen. A black guy up for president would bring every fuckin' racist out of the woodwork to vote against him. The whole goddamn south is guaranteed to be solid bloody red. I hope maybe I'm just being too cynical, and the guy does have some skills after all. But with as racist as this country still is, I'd say it's a pretty big gamble right now.
Another strike against Obama: Hustler questioned his liberal street cred in their "Asshole of the Month" column recently, and we all know that Larry Flynt is where to turn when you want to know what's up (or if you want a bunch of skanks with gigantic fake tits and neverending left-wing blabber... yes, my opinion of Larry has shifted in recent times).
If nothing else, can people stop referring to Obama as a "rising star" already? That shit is fucking played out.
Right now I like the idea of Rudy Giuliani, or at least someone Giuliani-esque, becoming president. You know, a guy who's Republican, but not fucking psycho like these neocon bastards. Someone socially liberal but fiscally conservative (dunno if that really means anything, but we all love to throw around that phrase because it sounds cool).
I say this assuming congress stays Democrat, because I'm liking the whole divided government thing. So a flop with an R congress and D president could achieve that as well. It doesn't really make things spectacular or anything, but it beats that whole imbalance nonsense we'd seen for the past six years. And even if part or all of congress went back the R way, a Republican who might actually argue with congress would be a step up from Bush. Of course, many of us think that just about anything would be a step up from Bush, and it's that kind of desperate mentality that gave us a douchebag like John Kerry last time. Thank Christ that cocksucker isn't trying again, eh?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
If The Police, the second-best band of the 80s (you know who the best is) are thinking about hanging out again, then this is as good a time as any to re-set this Onion article.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The only objection I have to this movie is that the actress in question is Dakota Fanning, because that little girl is creepy. But yeah, god forbid we should even think about having a serious discussion about a topic that most would prefer to ignore.
Ted Baehr, chairman of the Christian Film and Television Commission and publisher of the Web site movieguide.org, claims "Hounddog" breaks federal child-pornography law.
Dude, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I know that you aren't, but you should be. We'll set aside for a moment that you almost certainly have not seen the scene under debate. No sense letting any facts get in the way of a good crusade. Man, what a waste of fucking time and energy while there's plenty of actual child abuse going on in the world that you give less than a shit about. Just to make sure we're on the same page: fictional sexual abuse that is shown briefly and apparently not even as graphic as everyone makes it out to be, bad; real sexual abuse that goes on for decades and is just swept under the rug, good. Nice morals as usual, Jesus fuck.
"It's not really happening," Fanning said of a [sic] rape. "It's a movie, and it's called acting. I'm not going through anything. Cody and Isabelle aren't going through anything, their characters are.
Pretty sad when some creepy kid has to bitch-slap everyone and point out what fucking retards they're being.
Ted Baehr, chairman of the Christian Film and Television Commission and publisher of the Web site movieguide.org, claims "Hounddog" breaks federal child-pornography law.
Dude, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I know that you aren't, but you should be. We'll set aside for a moment that you almost certainly have not seen the scene under debate. No sense letting any facts get in the way of a good crusade. Man, what a waste of fucking time and energy while there's plenty of actual child abuse going on in the world that you give less than a shit about. Just to make sure we're on the same page: fictional sexual abuse that is shown briefly and apparently not even as graphic as everyone makes it out to be, bad; real sexual abuse that goes on for decades and is just swept under the rug, good. Nice morals as usual, Jesus fuck.
"It's not really happening," Fanning said of a [sic] rape. "It's a movie, and it's called acting. I'm not going through anything. Cody and Isabelle aren't going through anything, their characters are.
Pretty sad when some creepy kid has to bitch-slap everyone and point out what fucking retards they're being.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Look, I'm pretty stoked to see the Bears going to the Superbowl, but this is just ridiculous. I'm guessing it's not like there was any big risk inducing childbirth a couple days early, but this still isn't right.
If football -- yes, even Chicago football -- takes precedence over childbirthing, you people probably shouldn't be parents. Yes, I'm sure those tickets were not cheap, and being at that game was something very rare and special, but c'mon, people. Even I think you've got your priorities all fucked up.
If football -- yes, even Chicago football -- takes precedence over childbirthing, you people probably shouldn't be parents. Yes, I'm sure those tickets were not cheap, and being at that game was something very rare and special, but c'mon, people. Even I think you've got your priorities all fucked up.
Alright, here's another one for the idiot pedophile file pedo-file. There are so many things wrong with this group of M-Winners* that it's not, no wait, actually it is pretty funny, assuming we can ignore the fact that they might have actually molested some real kids.
I mean, seriously, I know that guys can be pretty optimistic when it comes to sex and relationships, but being able to convince themselves that that 29-year-old guy was fucking twelve? Come on. I'm guessing he's not particularly tall, but looking at his face anyone who's not a total fucking stem can tell he isn't 12.
But of course, these geniuses actually tried to enroll the "12-year-old boy" they were "molesting" in school, and no one could have ever predicted that backfiring.
Stiffler and Robert James Snow, 43, "were very upset when the detectives told them they had been having a sexual relationship with a 29-year-old man and not a pre-teen boy," Quayle said.
Yeah, I hate it when that happens. Once you find out your supposed pre-teen lover is actually pushing 30 it really takes the edge off and it's just no fun anymore. And how great is it that one of the guys involved is named Stiffler?
*Mussolini was a winner.
I mean, seriously, I know that guys can be pretty optimistic when it comes to sex and relationships, but being able to convince themselves that that 29-year-old guy was fucking twelve? Come on. I'm guessing he's not particularly tall, but looking at his face anyone who's not a total fucking stem can tell he isn't 12.
But of course, these geniuses actually tried to enroll the "12-year-old boy" they were "molesting" in school, and no one could have ever predicted that backfiring.
Stiffler and Robert James Snow, 43, "were very upset when the detectives told them they had been having a sexual relationship with a 29-year-old man and not a pre-teen boy," Quayle said.
Yeah, I hate it when that happens. Once you find out your supposed pre-teen lover is actually pushing 30 it really takes the edge off and it's just no fun anymore. And how great is it that one of the guys involved is named Stiffler?
*Mussolini was a winner.
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