OK so after saying I don't really care about the Olympics anymore here's two skating posts back to back. Hey, I do still like the sport, I just have less of a vested interest now. Anyway, this pseudo-controversy is completely missing the most important fact: ice dancing is retarded. Seriously, fuck that shit. All it is is pairs without any of the hard stuff. I like real figure skating, not ice dancing.

Also, fuck everyone. I am so tired of every single fucking group out there just waiting for a reason to bitch about how they're being offended. You know, sometimes the complaints are totally legit, OK? And furthermore everyone has a right to be pissed and express their opinion about whatever. But usually people just need to relax and shut the fuck up. Everyone really needs to stop being so proud of their culture or their art or their whatever 'cause guess what? It mostly all sucks anyway. So get over it and get over yourselves. Jesus.

Everyone out there just waiting for false persecution to befall them needs to take a huge lesson from Jewish comedians. I may think their religion is stupid, but I totally respect how they can have their beliefs and be serious in them but at the same time laugh about them and not take things too seriously. Let's follow that example, eh?

I know what you're thinking. What if those weak-ass ice dancers went out there in blackface? Well that's not gonna happen 'cause they know black people have guns and they can't get away with shit like that. No one is afraid Aborigines. I mean; please.

The question about blackface is actually a pretty good retort but for starters I couldn't resist throwing out some humor. Humor in somewhat poor taste, yeah, but I know some of you are laughing. And of course I'm just joking about the black people all having guns thing but that helps bring me to a broader point. The thing is, you know, I really don't see what the problem is with making jokes like I just did or laughing at jokes like that. Obviously I would think that because I'm an asshole trying to justify my behavior but just work with me here alright.

Aboriginal costumes or blackface or whatever I think it's all OK. Yeah it may be shitty and it may be racist and it may be coming from a very lousy part of a total asshole. But it's all free speech. The whole point behind free speech is allowing people to say something that you might not like. There's no point in protecting speech that doesn't bother anyone. Everyone talks a good game about how they may disagree with someone but they defend to their death their right to say it blah blah blah. Of course a lot of people don't fully believe that; they really wish there was a way to shut people up who disagree with them. And again, that's the whole point behind laws protecting free speech.

Plus in the end, the words or dance routines or whatever aren't really hurting anyone, are they? What if you just ignored stuff like that? Would it go away? Umm, yeah, actually it would in many cases. The only reason stuff like that is hurtful or offensive is because people allow it to be. Words are just words until you let them be more, and if we all just stopped caring about shit like that our lives would be a lot more pleasant. Let the morons be morons and eventually they're just gonna go away anyway. Until those morons are making laws that truly are offensive then just let it go. It's when it comes to real actions that oppress people and take away their rights that I think shit's a problem. That's when people need to be up in arms and getting pissed.

Oh and one more thing. A lot of people who bitch about stuff like this dumbass ice dancing thing aren't really offended, they're just looking for attention. They just want some kind of excuse to run their mouths and let everyone know about their ultra-important opinions. These are some of the finest assholes we have amongst us, and they too need to just shut the fuck up.

I realize that I've said repeatedly that people need to shut the fuck up in one paragraph while in the very next I'm also talking up a good game about free speech rights. The thing is, I really do believe that people have every right to be douchebags and spew their opinions, but it would be so awesome if they could just put their efforts elsewhere towards something more worthwhile. Yes, this of course goes for me too. When I say people should stop talking what I am really trying to get at is that we all just need to relax more and follow the lead of our Jew comic brothers and sisters.

I think the best way to sum up my feelings here is to borrow some words of wisdom from ShitMyDadSays:

"Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should. That's the definition of an asshole."

Well, fuck. At least I don't really have to care about the Olympics anymore. Sure there is gonna be some stuff that interests me but it's just not gonna be the same.

This is pretty amusing: ShitMyDadSays. As described by the guy who runs that feed:

"I'm 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says"

Also available on Failbook if you have such leanings.

Wait... Cindy McCain is cool? OK I really don't know much else about her other than she's loaded and looks really creepy but this is a big point in her favor.

So the Democrats are going to lose Ted Kennedy's Senate seat. That is hilarious. Hope you enjoyed that supermajority while it lasted, dumbasses. You guys could not be more limp-dicked of an organization.

Hey so is whoever commented on this post still around? Or how about anyone else who has commented in, like, the past year or so? I mean besides ETP; I know he'll wander past here eventually and be like, whoa, you're blogging again.

And hey, how about some newbies? C'mon, people. Step it up.

Kinda sad that this is where we're at with the whole Bin Laden thing -- it's been so fucking long that we're having to do age progressions on him to imagine what he looks like as he sits in a fucking cave someplace these days.

So this post may seem a bit out of place amongst all the bitching but if you think I'm real worried about my rep you probably just got here.

If you are a lazy-ass but have at least a marginal sense of humanity and would like to donate to the disaster relief efforts in Haiti you can text 'Haiti' to 90999. Ten bucks will be donated to the Red Cross and charged to your phone bill for each text. It's totally legit; you can read about it at the bottom of this article which also has info on other charitable organizations. Ten dollars might not seem like much but they've already raised like five mill this way so it really does add up.

I even donated and I don't ever do anything for anyone else because I am selfish but they have just made it too easy on us assholes. You even get to feel a little good about yourself because there's no such thing as true altruism (except maybe under some extreme circumstances) but that's really a discussion for another time.

Thanks to modern technology you basically have no excuse for not doing something.

OK wait so a couple more random things before I go. This is hilarious:



And this is hilariouser:


Also, if you have not seen Inglourious Basterds you have done yourself a great disservice.

Finally, money.

Alright so I just totally blew my blogging load and I'm probably gonna go back into hibernation for awhile now but before I do can someone please tell me who (upcoming link is a bikini shot just FYI) this girl is? She is just gorgeous and I swear I should know who she is but I am just not coming up with her name.

Another thing I am getting fucking sick and tired of is people who have NO sense of history, or, more generally speaking, no sense of anything at all. OK of course I'm not just now getting sick of this crap I was born sick of it. Take this for instance:


Two huge things pissing me off here. First of all, most everyone crying about "socialism" doesn't even know what the fuck socialism is. They just think it's a bad word and it's where we're headed 'cause some ignorant politician or mouthpiece said so. On top of that many of them take it to extremes, thinking we're on the path to becoming something like China. Red China? Really?

Then there's that quote about guns. I cannot say this any more clearly, fucktards: THE SECOND AMENDMENT ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE. Now shut the FUCK UP and stop panicking so that I can both FIND and AFFORD bloody 9mm ammo, you child-minded pricks.

Huh; must be getting angry now.

Never mind trying to get people to understand shit that went down decades ago, they don't even understand recent history. Exhibit B, dumb shit like this:


Again, putting it simply: NO HE DIDN'T. Where the fuck were you idiots in September/October of 2008? You know, when shit REALLY hit the fan and we were talking about another great depression? You know, before Obama was even elected? Look, like I've said before I am honestly not all that turned on by Obama these days, but get your shit straight, please.

Yes, I realize these are two random images I found online that were made by some random retard. But just go listen to talk radio for about five minutes and you will see that opinions such as these are being vomited all over the place, and it is infuriating that these people do not simply die.

Wow this is such a stupid and self-serving idea that I just might have to do it.

I know I'm just preaching to the choir, but it needs to be said: Pat Robertson, professional douchebag.

Amongst my myriad problems I have a really, really hard time accepting things that displease me but just aren't gonna change no matter what. I realize I am not alone in possessing this flaw but I think I'm a little worse than the average person when it comes to just sucking it up and moving on.

One thing I am slowly coming to grips with is the fact that Sarah Palin just isn't going to go away. I kept hoping that she was just so stone cold fucking stupid that there was no way she could keep it up, but then at one point ETP pointed out how Bush had managed to become president (please save me the "but he stole the 2000 election!" shit; that is so said and done with) and I was like, "Yeah, fuck." It's been awhile since that point, however, but I am making progress.

I also grew very tired of posting one leftist "news" piece after another here on this 'blog because, well, it just got old. But this needs to go up because it's pretty damn funny.

The most disappointing thing about Palin, aside from her mind-numbing stupidity and peoples' ability to surpass her stupidity by listening to her in the first place? The more I see of her, the less physically attractive she is. It's not just because she's a retard and that's bringing it all down; men can separate out physical attractiveness from everything else and evaluate it independently. I swear she was actually hot at one point. She was always a dumbfuck but at least there was some kind of consolation, but now I'm like, damn, I think the only reason to want to fuck her is out of spite.

And so it goes.

OK so I was totally thinking about commenting on the whole Harry Reid thing a couple days back when it was quasi-relevant but like usual I was lazy. Fortunately, the second quote of this Onion bit pretty much sums up everything I wanted to say about it anyway.

OK so here's the kind of post I haven't made in a long time and it's a fucking shame. I just came across this really great site dedicated to pics of cute Asian girls, appropriately entitled Really Cute Asians. I discovered this site when I was searching for pics of girls in glasses, one of my most favoritist things in the whole wide world, and hit upon this gallery. I will put forth that there is nothing better in this world than a cute Asian girl wearing glasses, unless of course if it's a cute Asian girl in glasses wearing a sailor schoolgirl uniform.

OK so this is hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

So you know how Google knows you almost as well as you or the people in your life know you? Or even better? C'mon, we've all gotten those ads that hit just a liiiitle to close to home. Like, for instance, if you look though my logged chats on Google Talk, they are predominantly with Dreamgirl. If you haven't been paying attention she was this fucking girl I had a major crush on for way too long. And one day the ad at the top of my Gmail was for some program to help me "Talk to pretty girls!" Fuck you, Google.

Anyway, we've all been there. But after I just made my last post, check out what Google decided to tell me:

Depressed?
Bipolar Disorder and Depression affect millions. Know the signs!
Healthline.com

I don't really have anything to ad(d) to that; I just thought it was kinda amusing and decided to share it.

If I am one thing I am an emo: an emotional homo. I just wrote about the eight-billionth whiny-ass post from the past year that I'm not gonna post 'cause it's just sad. Be glad for that. Maybe one of these days I'll post some of them or a compendium of them -- which chronicles the past year in my head -- but let's hope not.

That aside I am gonna post this because for some reason when I first saw it I was laughing so hard I cried.

You'll notice that this is more than tangentially related to my new posting name. I realize that this is paramount to explaining the joke and I hate doing that but in this case I just have to.

ChiMo FTMFW

I fucking love this comic strip. Of course I'm down with fucked up humor and the fact that they have no boundaries but what I really like is their style. I don't get the feel that they set out to be offensive -- it's not that they're trying to force it, it's that they just don't care. Okay, maybe you could say they make special effort when Depressing Comic Week rolls around. Either way the strip rules.

OK so just on principle this site is awesome. I have only started exploring it but at bare minimum you must check out "Choir Invaders" and "Tickle Me Jesus."

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

OK so this is kinda random but when I first came across this I thought it said "stew."

So people like it when you're topical. How about Obama? Nobel Laureate. When I first heard that I was like, what? At least the committee that hands out the prize was upfront that he won based on having done pretty much nothing aside from the vague notion of inspiring hope or whatever. So, pretty much, it was all just a marketing decision.

As a recent SNL sketch pointed out, yeah, B really hasn't done anything. And you know, I'm not totally slamming the guy here. He was basically tasked with fixing the world and as such has a ton of shit on his plate so I'm willing to give him some time to work on it. But you know, it would be nice to see some kind of progress.

Take gay issues for instance. There were lots of promises and really not much action. Hot, gay action. Sorry. Anyway, I wish Obama was cool enough to support gay marriage, but yes, I do realize this country is retarded and as such he never woulda gotten elected if he came out in support of it.

With regards to the whole "don't ask, don't tell" issue, I'm kinda torn. Please spare me your buttsex jokes because, well, I just handled it. Anyway, I understand the notion that gays and lesbians don't wanna hafta hide who they are in order to serve in the military. They should not have to hide who they are. But on the other hand, we are again, a retarded nation. And the US military? Yeah it's kind of a bastion of homophobia, I'm guessing. It's also a bastion of buttfucking, sure. But I dunno, I just wonder if there isn't a pragmatic reason that makes it good to have "don't ask, don't tell" in place even if what's driving it is fundamentally wrong.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that someone serving openly is probably going to be subject to a lot of harassment and maybe even worse that could drive them out of the service, thus defeating the whole purpose. Yes, I know. Should Jackie Robinson have just stayed in the Negro Leagues cause he was gonna catch hell for breaking the color barrier? I understand that it has to happen so that we can finally make real progress even if getting there is difficult. Furthermore I guess after working it through I understand the motivation for wanting to repeal the policy but I'm just trying to vent 'cause it all just sucks and this is why I'm torn on the issue. I wish we weren't a bunch of fucking morons and none of this were an issue in the first place.

Alright so I added something new to my sidebar, a list of "Followers" of this 'blog. Mainly because, somehow, I have some. Yo, check it; one of them is some dude who goes by "wom taits" and I'm like OK whatever but my other follower is an Asian girl. Or at least I hope she's Asian because I A) have the Asian girl fetish going and B) don't wanna look like a total racist here. Either way if this blog is attracting Asian girls then I officially declare this site to be full of WIN.

Also, big ups if you know what a source follower is.

The Undiscovered Country

OK so I just can't figure out what to do with this 'blog anymore.

So what's this blog about? Bitching is pretty much the focus here. Oh, and if you're not a big fan of sarcasm, this place probably isn't for you. Not like any of this matters... I'm sure no one is going to read this crap, anyway.

That's how we got started here. Originally, the main purpose of this 'blog was to give me something to do. I was bored, working in a cube, and pretty much going nowhere in a dead-end internship that ended very embarrassingly for me, and this place was a great diversion even if I was just talking into a void.

I wasn't quite talking into a void though as the secondary purpose of this 'blog was to communicate with ETP. We lived pretty close to one another and hung out regularly, but this place was a good way to quickly share interesting links and ideas and shit. This was before we had things as retarded as Twitter. And you can see what I've done with that.

Blogging took on a whole new life however when I found out that a handful of people besides ETP and BOETP actually read this crap. That was pretty nice. Sure, it was part ego, but it was cool interacting with people I didn't even know who enjoyed the ramblings I vomited out here. Also, Google pedophiles.

Discussion of politics was big here back in the day. I was a self-proclaimed bleeding-ass liberal and I was proud of it. As time went on though I got a BMW and a gun. I still like queers and baby killing, so those penalties offset, as I covered in a recent post. But anyway, what ultimately reigns is boredom and disillusionment.

Other things have changed. ETP and BOETP have moved off to the deep South. To keep in touch we have things like Facebook. Arguably more retarded than blogging, but hey not any dumber than acid wash and it comes in handy. If I want to share something with them, that's the easiest way. Plus, Blogger doesn't have FarmVille. God, how retarded is that crap?

Retarded, but addicting. I have been trying real hard today to not plant anything new so my entire farm will be fresh and I can get all my crops in sync so I'm not harvesting a million times a day. Yeah, I know I don't have to harvest fully grown stuff immediately, but A) I have OCD and B) I can't (and really don't wanna) concentrate on anything else for more than like a minute, minute-and-a-half.

Also, I really really need to find at least an 8th neighbor. I still have just the basic 12.5x12.5 farm and as such my shit is packed tighter than a 12-year-old girl. I can't expand my growing operations and barely have room for my animals and trees and all the other things I'm gifted every day. What I'm talking about is Lebensraum, people.

You know what I find kinda interesting? Firefox's built-in spell-checker does not flag the word "Lebensraum" as some kinda misspelling. Fuckin' Open Source fascists.

Okay, so back to WTF to do here. There are current events that I've always got an opinion on, or more importantly, are pissed off about. But I never really think to blog about it at the time. Or I'm just lazy. I may break something off here in a moment though.

Quick intermission: here's a good summary of blogging in general.

Typically the only time I feel like blogging is late at night, after some drinking, and all I have on my mind is this girl my dumb ass is chasing after. That's no good, and there's no way that can end well. In fact, I have proof that it doesn't end well in the form of many a rambling draft dating back nearly a year that I either never posted or posted and then pulled when I came to my senses.

(Just FYI, I am completely sober right now and it is about 6 in the evening. Well, in the interests of full disclosure, I wrote a good deal of the stuff prior to the previous paragraph during one of those late night sessions, but A) that shit's not too horrifying and B) be glad for the nonsense I cut out that came after. And you wanna know what's really fucked up? I just added in the FarmVille rant right now, again, when I'm completely sober.)

I'll try and keep the talk of the Dreamgirl saga to a minimum. There's not a whole lot to tell on that front at the moment because there's pretty much nothing substantial going on, just our weird, mostly online pseudo-friendship. But, I am gonna see her for the first time in nearly two years this coming week. Despite my excitement over this I'm pretty sure I'm only gonna end the week more confused than I started and as such am not gonna solve her just yet. Once I finally do manage to win with her though you will all know because fire and brimstone will rain down from the fucking sky. And you can say thanks BLM, thanks for ending our lame-ass existence. But either way I am fighting the good fight. I am running the race. I am keeping the faith. Haha yeah, everyone's fucked if I'm paraphrasing the Bible. May as well just start chanting in Latin.

Alright, that's enough of that. We all know how posts go when BLM gets too personal.

On the random bullshit front it looks like I still have a tendency to overuse the words "anyway" and "though," and also to completely violate good grammar conventions by frequently starting sentences with "and" or "but."

Oh, and hey, it looks like BOETP may start blogging again and this can only be described as a good thing. Maybe that will help motivate me to start blogging at least somewhat regularly again? I guess we'll see. Buckle up. Or not; whatever.