While I'm in the middle of being totally full of shit since "the level of posts will probably slow to a trickle if not drop off entirely over the next few days," here's some more Google searches for my and maybe even your amusement.
ax sex iran
Ax sex? Fucking OUCH!
pictures of man fucking woman
Dude, you are going to have to be more specific than that. It's the fucking Internet, for chrissakes. I guess you haven't noticed, but the place is kinda littered with pornography. Good luck not finding pictures like this when you're doing something online.
mothers that fuck
Technically, don't all mothers fuck? Isn't that how they got to be mothers? Oh, wait, I get it - this guy was just trying to filter out women who went the in vitro route or got knocked up by God.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Here's a Google search that for once wasn't a pedophile:
for fucks sake why someone does not assasinate bush??
I was thinking about something along these lines the other day, which I'm sure we can add this to the FBI's growing list of reasons to keep an eye on me. Hopefully, though, this post will put them at ease.
Everyone knows I hate Bush. I mean, Christ do I hate that motherfucker. But the last thing I want to happen is for that guy to get assassinated.
This would truly put us into an Orwellian nightmare. On the domestic front we'd see a crackdown from Asscroft and friends so severe that it would make the PATRIOT Act look like fucking Disneyland. On the foreign front, Wolfowitz & Co. would have even greater impetus to go out and bomb the living fuck out of whoever they think we need to bomb the living fuck out of. Big Brother would always be watching us, and we'd be in perpetual war with Eurasia or East Asia, depending on what suited the ruling Neocon Cabal.
Also, Bush would be fucking deified by the Republicans in this country, and that would piss me off to no end. It's already bad enough that Reagan is god to these people, but it would be orders of magnitude worse for Bush if he were killed. Seeing someone so fucking dumb so revered would just make me explode. Believe me, the reverence and respect he gets for being a supposed "great leader" and "visionary" and whatnot already has me on the brink.
While we're on the subject, and just to give me more reasons to be paranoid, what is the deal with regards to talking about the current president and his untimely demise? From what I understand, it's illegal to say things like you're going to kill him, but how far does that go? Should I finally be expecting that visit from the FBI for this post?
for fucks sake why someone does not assasinate bush??
I was thinking about something along these lines the other day, which I'm sure we can add this to the FBI's growing list of reasons to keep an eye on me. Hopefully, though, this post will put them at ease.
Everyone knows I hate Bush. I mean, Christ do I hate that motherfucker. But the last thing I want to happen is for that guy to get assassinated.
This would truly put us into an Orwellian nightmare. On the domestic front we'd see a crackdown from Asscroft and friends so severe that it would make the PATRIOT Act look like fucking Disneyland. On the foreign front, Wolfowitz & Co. would have even greater impetus to go out and bomb the living fuck out of whoever they think we need to bomb the living fuck out of. Big Brother would always be watching us, and we'd be in perpetual war with Eurasia or East Asia, depending on what suited the ruling Neocon Cabal.
Also, Bush would be fucking deified by the Republicans in this country, and that would piss me off to no end. It's already bad enough that Reagan is god to these people, but it would be orders of magnitude worse for Bush if he were killed. Seeing someone so fucking dumb so revered would just make me explode. Believe me, the reverence and respect he gets for being a supposed "great leader" and "visionary" and whatnot already has me on the brink.
While we're on the subject, and just to give me more reasons to be paranoid, what is the deal with regards to talking about the current president and his untimely demise? From what I understand, it's illegal to say things like you're going to kill him, but how far does that go? Should I finally be expecting that visit from the FBI for this post?
As predicted, I've been getting a handful of hits thanks to my mention of the Paris Hilton XXX tape. While I'm talking about Google-based hits, I realize that I have not once used the word "hentai" in this 'blog. I'm not sure why, but I apparently haven't. Okay, well, now I have. That's bound to bring in as yet even more fucked up shit.
Speaking of fucked up shit, I have been getting a bunch of Google search hits for all sorts of way, way out there stuff as of late. Not like this is a new concept, of course, but we have been seeing some searches that we haven't seen before. We're getting all the beyond hard-core fetishes - incest, bestiality, amputation. Sounds like Rick Santorum has been busy.
As always, I am beyond proud of some of the visitors I get here, and knowing that what they're looking for is a reflection on the quality of my topics and my writing.
Speaking of man-on-dog enthusiast Rick Santorum (with all due respect to Al Franken), here's a neat little tidbit that comes courtesy of Dan Savage, who writes the Savage Love sex advice column. Apparently, he's helped coin a new phrase - "santorum." What it refers to in SavageSpeak is the frothy mixture of cum, lube, and feces that you have after anal sex. "Frothy." Hey, don't look at me, I didn't make this shit up. I'm just passing it on.
Oh, and just be glad I decided to mention this today, and not yesterday after some of you were sitting down after a nice Thanksgiving meal. Hmmm, there are some cream-filled chocolate-glazed long johns sitting in the dining room... Why do I have a sudden craving for them?
Speaking of fucked up shit, I have been getting a bunch of Google search hits for all sorts of way, way out there stuff as of late. Not like this is a new concept, of course, but we have been seeing some searches that we haven't seen before. We're getting all the beyond hard-core fetishes - incest, bestiality, amputation. Sounds like Rick Santorum has been busy.
As always, I am beyond proud of some of the visitors I get here, and knowing that what they're looking for is a reflection on the quality of my topics and my writing.
Speaking of man-on-dog enthusiast Rick Santorum (with all due respect to Al Franken), here's a neat little tidbit that comes courtesy of Dan Savage, who writes the Savage Love sex advice column. Apparently, he's helped coin a new phrase - "santorum." What it refers to in SavageSpeak is the frothy mixture of cum, lube, and feces that you have after anal sex. "Frothy." Hey, don't look at me, I didn't make this shit up. I'm just passing it on.
Oh, and just be glad I decided to mention this today, and not yesterday after some of you were sitting down after a nice Thanksgiving meal. Hmmm, there are some cream-filled chocolate-glazed long johns sitting in the dining room... Why do I have a sudden craving for them?
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Here's a great joke (paraphrased, of course, since my memory isn't good enough to remember word-for-word) I heard one night on TV. It may have been on Premium Blend, but I can't remember for sure. And I can't even remember the comedian, but oh well.
"So one of my parents is Irish and the other Korean. I'm Caucasian and Asian. Which makes me... Caucasian."
"So one of my parents is Irish and the other Korean. I'm Caucasian and Asian. Which makes me... Caucasian."
We had the Cowboys/Dolphins game on his afternoon. They showed a shot of the crowd at one point, and I shit you not, but there was one little girl there who couldn't have been more than 10 years old who was dressed up as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. In case you're unfamiliar with their attire, you can get a shot here. You see that little vest and the handkerchief that ties in the front? Yeah, she was dressed up like that. This pisses me off on a couple of fronts.
First off, this little girl did not have the tits to pull that outfit off. I'm sorry, but if you ain't got it, don't wear it. Am I right?
What the fuck is wrong with parents that they actually parade their daughter around in an outfit like this? You're dressing her up like that to hang out around a bunch of drunken football fans? Yeah, it's cute, in a "6-year-old dressed as Britney Spears" sorta way, but it seems fucking dangerous. 70,000 people in that stadium... There's a decent chance that someone there is a kiddy raper, and all it takes is for you to take your eyes off her for a couple of seconds.
It just pisses me off that parents are so fucking clueless when it comes to shit like that. Clueless or just disgustingly indifferent. Sadly, pedophiles are going to sexually assault children no matter what since they're sick, incurable fucks. But don't put your child at risk by basically hanging a "rape me" sign around her neck. Don't buy your little girl a thong from Abercrombie. Don't raise your little boy Catholic. Don't put your little girl in anything with cherries on it.
Yeah, we all know I'm sick, so maybe I'm just the sick one for thinking that doing shit like this is such a bad idea. But, c'mon, how could it possibly be a good idea to dress up children like this? Even if you aren't just turning them into bait, you're at least training your daughter to dress in slutty clothing when she gets older.
On second thought, parents, go ahead and dress them up like that. Just don't come crying to me when they get molested.
First off, this little girl did not have the tits to pull that outfit off. I'm sorry, but if you ain't got it, don't wear it. Am I right?
What the fuck is wrong with parents that they actually parade their daughter around in an outfit like this? You're dressing her up like that to hang out around a bunch of drunken football fans? Yeah, it's cute, in a "6-year-old dressed as Britney Spears" sorta way, but it seems fucking dangerous. 70,000 people in that stadium... There's a decent chance that someone there is a kiddy raper, and all it takes is for you to take your eyes off her for a couple of seconds.
It just pisses me off that parents are so fucking clueless when it comes to shit like that. Clueless or just disgustingly indifferent. Sadly, pedophiles are going to sexually assault children no matter what since they're sick, incurable fucks. But don't put your child at risk by basically hanging a "rape me" sign around her neck. Don't buy your little girl a thong from Abercrombie. Don't raise your little boy Catholic. Don't put your little girl in anything with cherries on it.
Yeah, we all know I'm sick, so maybe I'm just the sick one for thinking that doing shit like this is such a bad idea. But, c'mon, how could it possibly be a good idea to dress up children like this? Even if you aren't just turning them into bait, you're at least training your daughter to dress in slutty clothing when she gets older.
On second thought, parents, go ahead and dress them up like that. Just don't come crying to me when they get molested.
There are lots of reasons why I am angry at and fed up with religion, and the nauseating marriage of politics and religion is one of them.
I was thinking the other day. That may come as a surprise to many of you, but I actually do think every now and then. Anyway, I was thinking about the First Amendment. Typically, when you mention the First Amendment, people think of free speech. Along with that, of course, is the principle of freedom of religion.
Free speech is not absolute, and restrictions can be placed on it. The classic example, of course, is that you cannot yell "fire!" in a crowded theater when, in fact, there is no fire. Doing so presents a "clear and present danger" which can lead to panic, injury, even death.
Since free speech is not absolute, then free exercise of religion shouldn't be either. As such, a big part of me would love to see more restrictions placed on religion. Why? Because religion is fucking dangerous.
Countless wars have been started over religion. People have killed abortion doctors in the name of god. Good people have been made to feel unnecessarily bad about sexual proclivities that they have no need to feel bad about. The Crusades. The Inquisition. September 11th. These few examples alone imply to me a "clear and present danger." To sum it up, more people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason throughout history. Religion ruins more lives than anything.
There's part of me that of course wants to be accepting of everything. Then there's the other side of me that has read history and just paid attention to a thing or two going on around me. It's the latter side that often wins in this particular debate. I can't help it, but I wish we could get rid of religion entirely. I'm not just picking on Christians here, either, but they are a pretty big contributor to my distaste of religion.
The problem is, what to do about it? I've often thought about forming my own sovereign state, and one of the founding principles would be strict religious intolerance. But what does that mean, and how far do we go? What defines "religion"? What about simple "belief"? You can't stop people from believing. And even if we had the balls to put some sort of restrictions on religion (which we don't), what kind of restrictions would we put on people? Like I said, there's no way to stop someone from believing something. The very fact that I'm talking about trying to control belief disturbs me, because it really does go against everything I, well, believe. It's just that the free exercise of religion throughout the course of history has been so free that it's led to a lot of unpleasant results, and the pragmatist in me says that it's just not worth it.
The sovereign state example shows that this desire to see religion wiped out is unreasonable and infeasible. So, I need to find a different route.
I have to agree with Carlin when he says that those of religious faith are "fundamentally weak." I'll openly belittle beliefs and believers. Does that make me a judgmental asshole? You bet it does, but I'll make no apologies for that.
Even though I take such a hardline stance against religion, things wouldn't be so bad from my perspective if people just didn't take it too seriously. The problem is that they obviously have and will continue to do so, but let's see if we can't at least some up with something.
Coming from my ignorant heathen perspective, I 'd like to see us grow up as a society and as a species and move beyond this need to believe in a higher power or whatever. Barring that, it'd be nice to at least see us grow up to the point where we can believe in religion without taking it too seriously and without bothering other people with it.
Here's the deal: I'm willing to concede that I might (keyword: might) be wrong when it comes to religious beliefs. There may be a god, Jesus may be his son, etc. Quite frankly, I just don't know. But you know what? You might be wrong, too. Same goes for everyone else, and I just wish we could all admit this and take it to heart. Also, I'd like to see a little less mindlessness when it comes to religion. If I see that someone has actually thought about things, instead of just buying into whatever their parents or whoever told them, I am much more comfortable with them. No, you didn't come to the same conclusion as me, but you at least put some effort into reaching that conclusion, and I can work with that.
If people could admit that they might be wrong while at the same time not pushing their beliefs on anyone else, we'd be making some progress. If we were able to achieve this, I think we would basically be admitting that no one religion is more valid than any other. That would be a nice starting point, so that we can move beyond that temper-ridden childhood into those troublesome teen years...
I was thinking the other day. That may come as a surprise to many of you, but I actually do think every now and then. Anyway, I was thinking about the First Amendment. Typically, when you mention the First Amendment, people think of free speech. Along with that, of course, is the principle of freedom of religion.
Free speech is not absolute, and restrictions can be placed on it. The classic example, of course, is that you cannot yell "fire!" in a crowded theater when, in fact, there is no fire. Doing so presents a "clear and present danger" which can lead to panic, injury, even death.
Since free speech is not absolute, then free exercise of religion shouldn't be either. As such, a big part of me would love to see more restrictions placed on religion. Why? Because religion is fucking dangerous.
Countless wars have been started over religion. People have killed abortion doctors in the name of god. Good people have been made to feel unnecessarily bad about sexual proclivities that they have no need to feel bad about. The Crusades. The Inquisition. September 11th. These few examples alone imply to me a "clear and present danger." To sum it up, more people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason throughout history. Religion ruins more lives than anything.
There's part of me that of course wants to be accepting of everything. Then there's the other side of me that has read history and just paid attention to a thing or two going on around me. It's the latter side that often wins in this particular debate. I can't help it, but I wish we could get rid of religion entirely. I'm not just picking on Christians here, either, but they are a pretty big contributor to my distaste of religion.
The problem is, what to do about it? I've often thought about forming my own sovereign state, and one of the founding principles would be strict religious intolerance. But what does that mean, and how far do we go? What defines "religion"? What about simple "belief"? You can't stop people from believing. And even if we had the balls to put some sort of restrictions on religion (which we don't), what kind of restrictions would we put on people? Like I said, there's no way to stop someone from believing something. The very fact that I'm talking about trying to control belief disturbs me, because it really does go against everything I, well, believe. It's just that the free exercise of religion throughout the course of history has been so free that it's led to a lot of unpleasant results, and the pragmatist in me says that it's just not worth it.
The sovereign state example shows that this desire to see religion wiped out is unreasonable and infeasible. So, I need to find a different route.
I have to agree with Carlin when he says that those of religious faith are "fundamentally weak." I'll openly belittle beliefs and believers. Does that make me a judgmental asshole? You bet it does, but I'll make no apologies for that.
Even though I take such a hardline stance against religion, things wouldn't be so bad from my perspective if people just didn't take it too seriously. The problem is that they obviously have and will continue to do so, but let's see if we can't at least some up with something.
Coming from my ignorant heathen perspective, I 'd like to see us grow up as a society and as a species and move beyond this need to believe in a higher power or whatever. Barring that, it'd be nice to at least see us grow up to the point where we can believe in religion without taking it too seriously and without bothering other people with it.
Here's the deal: I'm willing to concede that I might (keyword: might) be wrong when it comes to religious beliefs. There may be a god, Jesus may be his son, etc. Quite frankly, I just don't know. But you know what? You might be wrong, too. Same goes for everyone else, and I just wish we could all admit this and take it to heart. Also, I'd like to see a little less mindlessness when it comes to religion. If I see that someone has actually thought about things, instead of just buying into whatever their parents or whoever told them, I am much more comfortable with them. No, you didn't come to the same conclusion as me, but you at least put some effort into reaching that conclusion, and I can work with that.
If people could admit that they might be wrong while at the same time not pushing their beliefs on anyone else, we'd be making some progress. If we were able to achieve this, I think we would basically be admitting that no one religion is more valid than any other. That would be a nice starting point, so that we can move beyond that temper-ridden childhood into those troublesome teen years...
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Since I'm (sigh) blogging, might as well do something else I've done a lot of bullshitting about. Yup, time for the W^4.
So, now it's not size, it's not girth, it's the bump? God fucking damn it, will you women just make up your minds? I've got nothing to offer in terms of any of the three criteria, but it'd at least be nice to see some consistency from you ladies (yeah, I know, lots of luck on that front). This also might have been the Headline of the Week, but I'm just not fucking sure.
Ahhhh, the sweet smell of capitalism.
Another dose of interesting, er, trends in Japanese society. Welcome to the world of Gothic Lolita.
Might wanna avoid this next one near mealtimes, or avoid alltogether. Yeah, I'm sure you're right, and it's just all that ejaculating. Also, this may be the first time the phrase "too much fellatio" has ever made sort of sense to men.
As always, we close with the Headline of the Week, which is neatly packaged with and most awful story of the week.
So, now it's not size, it's not girth, it's the bump? God fucking damn it, will you women just make up your minds? I've got nothing to offer in terms of any of the three criteria, but it'd at least be nice to see some consistency from you ladies (yeah, I know, lots of luck on that front). This also might have been the Headline of the Week, but I'm just not fucking sure.
Ahhhh, the sweet smell of capitalism.
Another dose of interesting, er, trends in Japanese society. Welcome to the world of Gothic Lolita.
Might wanna avoid this next one near mealtimes, or avoid alltogether. Yeah, I'm sure you're right, and it's just all that ejaculating. Also, this may be the first time the phrase "too much fellatio" has ever made sort of sense to men.
As always, we close with the Headline of the Week, which is neatly packaged with and most awful story of the week.
I am in a strange house with a strange cat. That's probably going to require some explanation, along with why I'm already fucking posting when I said that there was a good chance that I wouldn't for the next few days. Also, this is nothing more than pointless shit about my pointless life when, yes, I said this wasn't going to become some lame online journal. You know what? This 'blog is going to be what it is, and that's that. The political shit won't go away, believe me, but neither is the "lame-ass personal life shit."
Soooo... On with the show.
Here's the situation. My parents, grandparents, and I all wanted to visit my aunt and uncle for Thanksgiving. The problem is, their house really isn't big enough to comfortably accommodate all these guests. There was this whole big bullshit drama which raged for weeks over who was going to be going on the visit and who was going to stay where. Hotels weren't exactly an optimal solution, and cramming all these people under one roof didn't seem all that great. At one point, a friend of my aunt said that he was going to be out of town all week since he was spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriend and her family, and that I could stay at his place. Great, problem solved. More or less.
We get into town, and my aunt says she got a call from her friend. He says to her "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is your nephew still has a place to stay. The bad news is he's going to have a roommate." The "roommate" is the friend of my aunt's whose place I'm staying at. As it turns out, his girlfriend decided to start pressing him on some commitment-related issues. Specifically, religion. She's found Jesus; he has not. This led to a big fight, them breaking up, and him coming home ahead of schedule.
That's not so bad. More or less.
As anyone who knows me knows, and as many may have been able to surmise from this 'blog, I'm not real good around people. It's not because I'm the flaming asshole shooting his mouth off about everything like I am in this 'blog and like I am around certain people who I'm very comfortable with. No, I'm not good with people because I am horribly, horribly shy. I'm terrified of people I don't know, and quite frankly, somewhat terrified of some people that I do know.
As such, I'm a little nervous about this whole arrangement. But, I'll live. As long as we were able to sort out all the nonsense and get us all together for Thanksgiving, that's cool. Right now, and for the rest of the evening, I even have this guy's place to myself, since his friends have already hooked him up with another girl, and that's what he's up to tonight. As my aunt pointed out, for all I know, this guy might not even show up at all this weekend. Apparently, he likes to party.
So where the fuck does the cat come in? Oh, don't worry - I know just how anxious you are to hear about the cat.
To make things even more interesting (which goes to show you how dull normal life is for me if this counts as interesting), this guy's sister is out of the country and she left her cat with him. Hence, we have me, in a strange house with a strange cat.
The cat spent the first several minutes of my tenure here hiding under the bed. After awhile, she would come out every few minutes, check me out, and when I made the slightest move, run back under the bed. We're making progress, however, as she's walked up to me and sniffed me (ahhh, pets), and even let me sorta pet her. She's wandering the house freely, which looks like she's where cats usually are with humans - she could give less than a shit about me being here. She's the Borg, basically. I've been deemed "not a threat," and consequently, she's ignoring me.
This is why I love cats: they have self-esteem. To some people it's just snootiness, to me, it's self-esteem. Dogs are so fucking needy - they always want you to pet them and play with them. Cats, on the other hand, couldn't give fuck about you. They have 3/4 of a day to sleep away, a little bit of eating, a shit here and there (which many of them can handle all on their own), and if they so desire, you can pet and play with them for six seconds. Cats don't need you, and they can get along just fine without you. Sure, they depend on you for food, but they're confident in their training of you, and they know you will not fail to provide.
Oh, and as for why I'm posting? This guy, who I've never met, whose house I'm spending the night at, happens to have broadband. Fuckin' A. So, I have something to do before bed, and you, lucky you, get another shitty 'blog post.
Soooo... On with the show.
Here's the situation. My parents, grandparents, and I all wanted to visit my aunt and uncle for Thanksgiving. The problem is, their house really isn't big enough to comfortably accommodate all these guests. There was this whole big bullshit drama which raged for weeks over who was going to be going on the visit and who was going to stay where. Hotels weren't exactly an optimal solution, and cramming all these people under one roof didn't seem all that great. At one point, a friend of my aunt said that he was going to be out of town all week since he was spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriend and her family, and that I could stay at his place. Great, problem solved. More or less.
We get into town, and my aunt says she got a call from her friend. He says to her "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is your nephew still has a place to stay. The bad news is he's going to have a roommate." The "roommate" is the friend of my aunt's whose place I'm staying at. As it turns out, his girlfriend decided to start pressing him on some commitment-related issues. Specifically, religion. She's found Jesus; he has not. This led to a big fight, them breaking up, and him coming home ahead of schedule.
That's not so bad. More or less.
As anyone who knows me knows, and as many may have been able to surmise from this 'blog, I'm not real good around people. It's not because I'm the flaming asshole shooting his mouth off about everything like I am in this 'blog and like I am around certain people who I'm very comfortable with. No, I'm not good with people because I am horribly, horribly shy. I'm terrified of people I don't know, and quite frankly, somewhat terrified of some people that I do know.
As such, I'm a little nervous about this whole arrangement. But, I'll live. As long as we were able to sort out all the nonsense and get us all together for Thanksgiving, that's cool. Right now, and for the rest of the evening, I even have this guy's place to myself, since his friends have already hooked him up with another girl, and that's what he's up to tonight. As my aunt pointed out, for all I know, this guy might not even show up at all this weekend. Apparently, he likes to party.
So where the fuck does the cat come in? Oh, don't worry - I know just how anxious you are to hear about the cat.
To make things even more interesting (which goes to show you how dull normal life is for me if this counts as interesting), this guy's sister is out of the country and she left her cat with him. Hence, we have me, in a strange house with a strange cat.
The cat spent the first several minutes of my tenure here hiding under the bed. After awhile, she would come out every few minutes, check me out, and when I made the slightest move, run back under the bed. We're making progress, however, as she's walked up to me and sniffed me (ahhh, pets), and even let me sorta pet her. She's wandering the house freely, which looks like she's where cats usually are with humans - she could give less than a shit about me being here. She's the Borg, basically. I've been deemed "not a threat," and consequently, she's ignoring me.
This is why I love cats: they have self-esteem. To some people it's just snootiness, to me, it's self-esteem. Dogs are so fucking needy - they always want you to pet them and play with them. Cats, on the other hand, couldn't give fuck about you. They have 3/4 of a day to sleep away, a little bit of eating, a shit here and there (which many of them can handle all on their own), and if they so desire, you can pet and play with them for six seconds. Cats don't need you, and they can get along just fine without you. Sure, they depend on you for food, but they're confident in their training of you, and they know you will not fail to provide.
Oh, and as for why I'm posting? This guy, who I've never met, whose house I'm spending the night at, happens to have broadband. Fuckin' A. So, I have something to do before bed, and you, lucky you, get another shitty 'blog post.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
In an "announcement" sure to disappoint all five of you, the level of posts will probably slow to a trickle if not drop off entirely over the next few days. Not like anyone will notice, since both the number and quality of posts have really declined in the past few weeks. On the quality front, that's pretty fucking sad for a site that started at a very low level of what would hardly be called quality.
Anyway, for all two of you who are curious, I'll be out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday, so there's my excuse if I don't update this 'blog. While I'm out of town I'll have 'net access so that I can still read Matt's comments, and so maybe I'll post a nugget or two. But please, try not to kill yourself if I don't post anything at all.
I probably won't be all that into posting, though, since most of tomorrow will be sucked up by an 11-12 hour drive. Then of course, on Thursday, is Thanks-fucking-giving. I will most likely be doing what Americans do best - stuffing food inside of other food and then drowning myself in it.
Speaking of drowning, the next couple of days after T-day will be spent immersed in a consumerism bukkake. We've been training hard for this all year long, and we made it through the regular season (summer) pretty well. Now it's playoff time, and we'll see if that hard work pays off.
Oh, and I probably won't be doing any Xmas shopping - I'm out shopping for number one! And no, not for Will Riker. Although it wouldn't be the first time I've been called Scrooge (go figure; I even played the lead role in A Christmas Carol in a 7th grade play), you can relax. I'm not that big of a fucking hardass and I will eventually get around to buying the handful of people who for some reason put up with me some nice gifts. In a couple of weeks. That's how I am with Christmas shopping: it's all about procrastination and efficiency.
Anyway, yeah. Happy fucking Thanksgiving to all you celebrating it, and happy rest of the regular ol' shitty week to the rest of you who are not. Sorry, that wasn't meant to sound so assholish. If it helps, I'll try to not have too good of a time. I'll keep myself in check by reflecting on all the horrible atrocities perpetuated against Native Americans around the time of the first Thanksgiving, and I will be plenty pissed off when I'm out shopping and surrounded by nothing but dumbasses.
Anyway, for all two of you who are curious, I'll be out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday, so there's my excuse if I don't update this 'blog. While I'm out of town I'll have 'net access so that I can still read Matt's comments, and so maybe I'll post a nugget or two. But please, try not to kill yourself if I don't post anything at all.
I probably won't be all that into posting, though, since most of tomorrow will be sucked up by an 11-12 hour drive. Then of course, on Thursday, is Thanks-fucking-giving. I will most likely be doing what Americans do best - stuffing food inside of other food and then drowning myself in it.
Speaking of drowning, the next couple of days after T-day will be spent immersed in a consumerism bukkake. We've been training hard for this all year long, and we made it through the regular season (summer) pretty well. Now it's playoff time, and we'll see if that hard work pays off.
Oh, and I probably won't be doing any Xmas shopping - I'm out shopping for number one! And no, not for Will Riker. Although it wouldn't be the first time I've been called Scrooge (go figure; I even played the lead role in A Christmas Carol in a 7th grade play), you can relax. I'm not that big of a fucking hardass and I will eventually get around to buying the handful of people who for some reason put up with me some nice gifts. In a couple of weeks. That's how I am with Christmas shopping: it's all about procrastination and efficiency.
Anyway, yeah. Happy fucking Thanksgiving to all you celebrating it, and happy rest of the regular ol' shitty week to the rest of you who are not. Sorry, that wasn't meant to sound so assholish. If it helps, I'll try to not have too good of a time. I'll keep myself in check by reflecting on all the horrible atrocities perpetuated against Native Americans around the time of the first Thanksgiving, and I will be plenty pissed off when I'm out shopping and surrounded by nothing but dumbasses.
Oh, and if anyone out there is thinking of getting me a website for Xmas, you go right ahead. Don't be surprised if your wife gets another pink Care Bear this year.
Over on Assdot, an "Ask Slashdot" was just posted on "How to Set Up a Gift Website?" The guy asking is thinking of giving his parents their own website as a holiday gift.
Is it just me, or is that not the lamest fucking gift ever?
"Oh, Jimmy, you got us a website. You shouldn't have. No, really, you shouldn't have. Why the fuck didn't you just get us some gift certificates to a restaurant or something? Oh, yeah, and you're welcome for all the love and support we've given you your entire goddamn life."
Is it just me, or is that not the lamest fucking gift ever?
"Oh, Jimmy, you got us a website. You shouldn't have. No, really, you shouldn't have. Why the fuck didn't you just get us some gift certificates to a restaurant or something? Oh, yeah, and you're welcome for all the love and support we've given you your entire goddamn life."
Apparently, we need to re-double our efforts to promote abstinence instead of safe sex (like the Bush administration), not using condoms instead of, well, using them (like the Catholic Church), and denying poorer countiries cheaper AIDS-fighting drugs (like the drug companies).
Monday, November 24, 2003
Yeah, you just keep up your complaining, motherfuckers. You'd better hope and pray that I never start my own toy company.
In addition to the fairly innocuous stuff like a Hinata-sou playset for my Love Hina girls, we will undoubtedly have some fucked up shit. A Battle Royale line of toys sounds good, and let's not forget a line of September 11th toys (complete with WTC playset!).
I think I'll call the toy company "Depraved Indifference."
In addition to the fairly innocuous stuff like a Hinata-sou playset for my Love Hina girls, we will undoubtedly have some fucked up shit. A Battle Royale line of toys sounds good, and let's not forget a line of September 11th toys (complete with WTC playset!).
I think I'll call the toy company "Depraved Indifference."
60 Minutes ran a piece last night that pissed me off in about every way possible. The story was about a group of soldiers who were captured and tortured in Gulf War I. At some point, U.S. courts decided that former POWs could sue their captors, and that's just what these guys decided to do.
The first thing that pisses me off is the fact that our courts decided that we can sue countries and leaders when they do naughty things like violate the Geneva Convention. The theory behind it is that if you can extract large amounts of money from people who do shit like this, that it will potentially improve the treatment of American POWs in the future.
This is a weakly-based and very dangerous assumption. It's weakly based because what we have here is the notion that dictators like Saddam are fearful of the same things that we are. Namely, litigation. Well, that's just fucking retarded. Saddam was obviously crazy enough to not be afraid of the fucking U.S. military, so what's to make us think that he's going to be afraid of getting sued? Odds are, this isn't going to do a fucking thing to better the treatment of our POWs in the future. No one is going to be like, "You know, I was gonna hook this guy's nuts up to a car battery, but then I realized that he might come back and sue us some day." When people are at fucking war with us, interested in nothing more than torturing and killing our people, the last thing on their mind is whether or not Jack McCoy is going to hunt them down someday.
Okay, maybe if Jack was going to come after them at some point, that would put the fear of God/Allah/Mickey Mouse into them. But nothing short of that is going to have any effect.
The arrogance which is shown by this ruling is what is dangerous. If we continue to assume that others around the world, especially nutcase dictators torturing and guys who are "just following orders," are going to behave and respond to things in the same manner that we would, then we are in serious fucking trouble.
And, of course, that's why we're in serious fucking trouble. We never take the time to really understand the enemy or to see where they're coming from. Some people dismiss this by saying "Fuck that. Why do we need to understand the enemy? Let's just fucking kill them already." That's just shortsighted nonsense. If we took the time to understand our enemies, maybe we could A) fight them more effectively and B) not make so many more in the future.
Another glaring problem with allowing POWs to sue captors is the blindingly obvious question: How the fuck are they going to collect when they win their suits? I say when not if, because there's pretty much no way anyone can lose a suit like this. In "Heroic American soldiers vs. Saddam," the outcome of that case is pretty much decided from the get-go. Any sort of "trial" is a waste of time.
Anyway, they have come up with some ideas on how soldiers can collect on their lawsuits. One way is to use seized assets from the offending country to pay out. That's exactly what was going to happen in the case of these soldiers, until the Bush administration decided to play what sounded like nothing more than legal tiddlywinks. The seized Iraqi assets, which were going to be used to pay the over $900 million settlement this particular group of soldiers were going to receive, were transferred to the Treasury Department. At that point, they were no longer considered Iraqi assets, and were now earmarked as money for Iraqi reconstruction. As such, the money was no longer eligible to be used to pay the POWs.
This shuffling of money is really irritating. It looks like a move that blatantly screws over some veterans, even if that wasn't the intent. The administration has been building a nice reputation for fucking over people who were willing to fight for this country, and this just adds to it. Also, what is this bullshit that we need all of that money to pay for reconstruction? I wonder if that money factored in to Bush's $87 billion handout from congress?
The soldiers, of course, know that Bush could change all this if he wanted to. But when pressed by Mike Wallace on the issue, the former POWs remained mostly silent. One guy tried to stick up for Bush, saying something along the lines of how Bush wouldn't screw the POWs on purpose. That may be true, but it was avoiding the issue of how Bush could fix the problem by taking personal action. I understand the need to support your commander in chief and all, but it still frustrates me to see people holding back when they could (or maybe even should) be lashing out. Yet another reason as to why even if they were to fire up a draft, they're better off without me.
The final thing that pissed me off was the fact that these former POWs are fighting so hard for the money (they're now suing John Snow to try and get their money) that it's beginning to look like it's just about the money. Believe me, I'm not insensitive to what these guys went though, and my knee-jerk reaction is that these guys deserve some sort of repayment for it.
On the other hand, though, these guys weren't drafted or forced in any way. They weren't civilians who got caught up in a bad situation. They were soldiers who got captured in the line of duty. They voluntarily put themselves in this situation, and they knew the risks. Again, I really am sorry for what they went through, but what were you guys expecting? It's fucking war.
In the end, their insistence on getting paid makes it look like they're more interested in getting cash than helping future soldiers. Yes, I could be wrong about this. I could be right, though, because we have a tendency of trying to turn tragedy into monetary gain. Columbine, September 11th, etc. Victims and survivors looking to cash in. Like I said, I can cut them some slack, since in some cases it's like, well, giving them some money is the least we can do. It never takes too long, though, before it looks like crass American greed has taken full control of the situation, and it's no longer about suffering and loss, it's about how can I profit from this?.
So, there you have it. That's what I get (and you, subsequently) for watching network TV on Sunday night.
The first thing that pisses me off is the fact that our courts decided that we can sue countries and leaders when they do naughty things like violate the Geneva Convention. The theory behind it is that if you can extract large amounts of money from people who do shit like this, that it will potentially improve the treatment of American POWs in the future.
This is a weakly-based and very dangerous assumption. It's weakly based because what we have here is the notion that dictators like Saddam are fearful of the same things that we are. Namely, litigation. Well, that's just fucking retarded. Saddam was obviously crazy enough to not be afraid of the fucking U.S. military, so what's to make us think that he's going to be afraid of getting sued? Odds are, this isn't going to do a fucking thing to better the treatment of our POWs in the future. No one is going to be like, "You know, I was gonna hook this guy's nuts up to a car battery, but then I realized that he might come back and sue us some day." When people are at fucking war with us, interested in nothing more than torturing and killing our people, the last thing on their mind is whether or not Jack McCoy is going to hunt them down someday.
Okay, maybe if Jack was going to come after them at some point, that would put the fear of God/Allah/Mickey Mouse into them. But nothing short of that is going to have any effect.
The arrogance which is shown by this ruling is what is dangerous. If we continue to assume that others around the world, especially nutcase dictators torturing and guys who are "just following orders," are going to behave and respond to things in the same manner that we would, then we are in serious fucking trouble.
And, of course, that's why we're in serious fucking trouble. We never take the time to really understand the enemy or to see where they're coming from. Some people dismiss this by saying "Fuck that. Why do we need to understand the enemy? Let's just fucking kill them already." That's just shortsighted nonsense. If we took the time to understand our enemies, maybe we could A) fight them more effectively and B) not make so many more in the future.
Another glaring problem with allowing POWs to sue captors is the blindingly obvious question: How the fuck are they going to collect when they win their suits? I say when not if, because there's pretty much no way anyone can lose a suit like this. In "Heroic American soldiers vs. Saddam," the outcome of that case is pretty much decided from the get-go. Any sort of "trial" is a waste of time.
Anyway, they have come up with some ideas on how soldiers can collect on their lawsuits. One way is to use seized assets from the offending country to pay out. That's exactly what was going to happen in the case of these soldiers, until the Bush administration decided to play what sounded like nothing more than legal tiddlywinks. The seized Iraqi assets, which were going to be used to pay the over $900 million settlement this particular group of soldiers were going to receive, were transferred to the Treasury Department. At that point, they were no longer considered Iraqi assets, and were now earmarked as money for Iraqi reconstruction. As such, the money was no longer eligible to be used to pay the POWs.
This shuffling of money is really irritating. It looks like a move that blatantly screws over some veterans, even if that wasn't the intent. The administration has been building a nice reputation for fucking over people who were willing to fight for this country, and this just adds to it. Also, what is this bullshit that we need all of that money to pay for reconstruction? I wonder if that money factored in to Bush's $87 billion handout from congress?
The soldiers, of course, know that Bush could change all this if he wanted to. But when pressed by Mike Wallace on the issue, the former POWs remained mostly silent. One guy tried to stick up for Bush, saying something along the lines of how Bush wouldn't screw the POWs on purpose. That may be true, but it was avoiding the issue of how Bush could fix the problem by taking personal action. I understand the need to support your commander in chief and all, but it still frustrates me to see people holding back when they could (or maybe even should) be lashing out. Yet another reason as to why even if they were to fire up a draft, they're better off without me.
The final thing that pissed me off was the fact that these former POWs are fighting so hard for the money (they're now suing John Snow to try and get their money) that it's beginning to look like it's just about the money. Believe me, I'm not insensitive to what these guys went though, and my knee-jerk reaction is that these guys deserve some sort of repayment for it.
On the other hand, though, these guys weren't drafted or forced in any way. They weren't civilians who got caught up in a bad situation. They were soldiers who got captured in the line of duty. They voluntarily put themselves in this situation, and they knew the risks. Again, I really am sorry for what they went through, but what were you guys expecting? It's fucking war.
In the end, their insistence on getting paid makes it look like they're more interested in getting cash than helping future soldiers. Yes, I could be wrong about this. I could be right, though, because we have a tendency of trying to turn tragedy into monetary gain. Columbine, September 11th, etc. Victims and survivors looking to cash in. Like I said, I can cut them some slack, since in some cases it's like, well, giving them some money is the least we can do. It never takes too long, though, before it looks like crass American greed has taken full control of the situation, and it's no longer about suffering and loss, it's about how can I profit from this?.
So, there you have it. That's what I get (and you, subsequently) for watching network TV on Sunday night.
Tell me that this couldn't be an onion article.
I mean, it's sad to see the president* doing shit like this, but to be honest with you, this is probably the kind of stuff that's best suited for Bush. "George, we have a war to run. You... You go over there and pet that turkey."
I mean, it's sad to see the president* doing shit like this, but to be honest with you, this is probably the kind of stuff that's best suited for Bush. "George, we have a war to run. You... You go over there and pet that turkey."
Sunday, November 23, 2003
So does this mean that the Georgia state flag is going to go back to having the prominent Confederate emblem?
Yeah, 'cause us 18-to 34-year-old males are sophisticated.
Actually, these shows do have some sophistication to them (from my unsophisticated standpoint), and it's nice to see some of the truly good shows gaining so much popularity. Aqua Teens, Futurama, and Family Guy, just to name a few. FG is doing so well on DVD that Fox is considering bringing it back, which would be cool as long as they don't do something stupid to fuck the show up. Either way, Kevin Smith must be shitting his hoodie right about now.
Actually, these shows do have some sophistication to them (from my unsophisticated standpoint), and it's nice to see some of the truly good shows gaining so much popularity. Aqua Teens, Futurama, and Family Guy, just to name a few. FG is doing so well on DVD that Fox is considering bringing it back, which would be cool as long as they don't do something stupid to fuck the show up. Either way, Kevin Smith must be shitting his hoodie right about now.
Again, there are some searches where I just don't quite understand what the searcher was expecting to find:
bill maher is a fucking retarded asshole
What, was this person expecting Nutscrape search to return a result that said "Yeah, dude, you're right! Bill Maher is a fucking retarded asshole! You know, I've always thought that, and I'm glad someone finally showed up and said so."? Or maybe they were looking for the search engine to pick a fight with them. "No, YOU are a fucking retarded asshole!"
I think I'm gonna go ask Jeeves if Bill Maher will fuck my asshole.
bill maher is a fucking retarded asshole
What, was this person expecting Nutscrape search to return a result that said "Yeah, dude, you're right! Bill Maher is a fucking retarded asshole! You know, I've always thought that, and I'm glad someone finally showed up and said so."? Or maybe they were looking for the search engine to pick a fight with them. "No, YOU are a fucking retarded asshole!"
I think I'm gonna go ask Jeeves if Bill Maher will fuck my asshole.
You know what band I always hear getting ripped on, and it fucking pisses me off every time I hear that shit? Huey Lewis and the News. I'm dead fucking serious.
Huey Lewis and the News are like one of my favorite bands... Ever. These guys and the Police were my favorites when I was growing up back in the 80s. Christ, I remember when I got Fore!. On cassette. I remember it pretty well because my grandpa bought it for me, which was strange because he never bought me anything. It's not because he was a jerk (quite the opposite; my grandpa's better than you are), it's just because he left all of the buying of shit to my grandmother, who spoiled me rotten. Nice to see things have changed and I'm not a spoiled little shit anymore.
Anyway, the thing is, it's not like some things you love as a kid and then see/hear/whatever as an adult, and you realize how much it actually sucks. Atari is a great example. Back in, I dunno, '86-'87 or whenever, I remember my babysitter's kids had an Atari. One of the games they had was (of course) Pitfall. I thought Pitfall for the 2600 was the greatest fucking thing EVER. I thought it was the shit until a couple of years ago when a friend busted out her old 2600, and we fired up Pitfall. After about three seconds of playing, I was like, "This isn't very good."
Huey Lewis has not been met with the same fate as Pitfall. I'm listening to Sports right now, and yeah, it kicks some serious ass. "Heart of Rock & Roll," "Bad is Bad," "I want a new Drug," etc. God damn it, stop laughing, this album is great.
Are we just in denial of the whole 80s thing, and we're just taking it all out on Huey Lewis and the News? Why are they so reviled nowadays? Regardless of why, stop that!
I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin', but Huey Lewis and the News is a sweet band - and you know it.
Huey Lewis and the News are like one of my favorite bands... Ever. These guys and the Police were my favorites when I was growing up back in the 80s. Christ, I remember when I got Fore!. On cassette. I remember it pretty well because my grandpa bought it for me, which was strange because he never bought me anything. It's not because he was a jerk (quite the opposite; my grandpa's better than you are), it's just because he left all of the buying of shit to my grandmother, who spoiled me rotten. Nice to see things have changed and I'm not a spoiled little shit anymore.
Anyway, the thing is, it's not like some things you love as a kid and then see/hear/whatever as an adult, and you realize how much it actually sucks. Atari is a great example. Back in, I dunno, '86-'87 or whenever, I remember my babysitter's kids had an Atari. One of the games they had was (of course) Pitfall. I thought Pitfall for the 2600 was the greatest fucking thing EVER. I thought it was the shit until a couple of years ago when a friend busted out her old 2600, and we fired up Pitfall. After about three seconds of playing, I was like, "This isn't very good."
Huey Lewis has not been met with the same fate as Pitfall. I'm listening to Sports right now, and yeah, it kicks some serious ass. "Heart of Rock & Roll," "Bad is Bad," "I want a new Drug," etc. God damn it, stop laughing, this album is great.
Are we just in denial of the whole 80s thing, and we're just taking it all out on Huey Lewis and the News? Why are they so reviled nowadays? Regardless of why, stop that!
I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin', but Huey Lewis and the News is a sweet band - and you know it.
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