How the hell Karl Malone supposed to shoot squirrels if they won't give him a god damn gun?

I don't give a shit either way about basketball, except for when it's interrupting or pre-empting something I actually give a shit about. As I always like to say, basketball is for losers. Still, I think it's pretty fucking hillarious that the Lakers didn't win. I like Lakers head coach Philipp and all, but the comedic value of the Lakers losing - in such humiliating fashion, no less - is just too much. Fuck Kobe and fuck Shaq. And fuck Karl Malone and Gary Payton - they're never getting their championships.