What the hell else is pissing me off? I know there was something just a second ago... Oh yeah.

Holy fuck I'm old. No, not getting older, I'm fucking old. On the cover of Vanity Fair this month is a bunch of the hot new teenage stars. I'm looking through this, nearly in tears, with Chekhov's line from Generations echoing though my head: "I was never that young". I mean, some of the kids they had showcased were born in the fucking nineties, for Christ's sake. A bunch of them said that their favorite old TV show was The Wonder Years. That show isn't fucking old! I could swear it was just on not too long ago. And I'm not talking Nick-at-Nite re-runs.

The "feeling like a kid" thing pretty much died the second I read a Playmate Data sheet where the Playmate was younger than me. I know some of you know what I'm talking about.

I don't know how I've fucked up so bad and become a bitter old man at 23, but that's how it's looking. And I've been here for fucking years now. Even in high school I would bitch about "those fucking kids" in restaurants and movie theaters. Either way, my dreams of having a fun, carefree life, with a real, live teenage girlfriend are pretty much over, unless I want to go to jail.

Of course, there are some nice throwbacks to being a kid. Like living at my parents' house like a fucking loser. Great, the best of both worlds.

Nah, who wants to be a kid again, anyway? Growing up fucking sucked too. Life blows.