Fuck the Mini Cooper, even if it could travel at Mach 3. I hate those stupid things. Buying that car seems like nothing but an impulse buy. My life is pretty much one impulse buy after another, but at least I'm not fucking stupid enough to do that when it comes to automobiles. "Oh, look how cute this car is! I'm gonna buy it and take it home and then try and get around town in THREE CUBIC FEET OF SPACE."

Also, have you ever noticed how, for some reason, the fattest fucking people end up driving tiny shitboxes like the Ford Festiva?