Hey, even I'm smart enough to have figured this out - that pro-lifers know they can't get abortion completely banned at this point, but they'll do everything they can to erode a woman's right to choose. Just like terrorists, they're willing to wait for the big score.

It's beyond obscene when Bush of all people talks about creating a "culture of life." That statement gets worse when you look at the broader context of, oh, American history. "Culture of life" is about the stupidest and most contradictory tag you could hope for in this country. This fucking nation is based on a culture of death. Wars, crime, entertainment - you name it, we're all for death.

If nothing else, there's no way I can get on board with the pro-lifers since I'm a guy and will never have any fucking concept of what it's like to have to deal with pregnancy. I'm also a big fan of being able to make tough decisions like this for yourself instead of having the government do it for you.

For those women who are against abortion, what the hell is the matter with you? You want some old fucker telling you what to do just because he thinks Jesus told him to? I know, I know. Some of these women are pro-life because they themselves had an abortion. Look, I understand that deciding to have an abortion must be a horrible decision to have to make, and no matter what, the repercussions stick with you forever. That's what life is about, though, or at least what life should be about. Making decisions. Yes, some decisions have more gravity than others, but just because you made a decision that you're now unhappy with doesn't mean that you should be working to strip others of the right to make the same decision on their own.

Another thing that seems to get lost is that people who are "pro-choice" aren't necessarily "pro-abortion." Sure, there are some sick fuckers out there who hate people and are kind of in that second camp. But still, just because you're on the pro-choice side doesn't mean that any of us think that abortion is the optimal route. It'd be nice if we lived in a perfect world where no one ever felt that the best option is to have an abortion, but it'd also be nice if we lived in a world where we didn't have to put criminals in jail. This is the adult world, not early morning kiddy hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy (to mangle a line from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut). To quote that rhetorical genius Donald Rumsfeld, stuff happens. It's nice if when stuff does indeed happen, people have options available to them to help them in making a decision.

For those who whine and complain "But it's a BABY!!!" I have a characteristically simplistic answer: I don't care. I don't necessarily put any special value on one life over another just because it might be cute someday and puke on one of my nice shirts. I might put some special value on someone I care about, like a wife or a girlfriend, when they're facing a situation like that, however. You know, someone who's actually been there for me, unlike that lousy child. What kind of special treatment have they earned? I submit that they have earned none, unlike the person having to deal with that little self-entitled fucker. Okay, okay, I shouldn't be so harsh on the little shit. They're not self-entitled, they're right-wing asshole Christian entitled.

Once again, that's a big part of what this comes down to: religion. I wonder: how big of an abortion debate would we be having if the Jesus factor were taken out of the equation? Fantastic; a debate being driven by the people who refused to believe that the earth revolves around the sun for years despite actual evidence, the people who think the world was created only a few thousand years ago despite actual evidence, the people who refuse to accept evolution despite actual evidence, and (not to imply that this list is by any means conclusive) the people who think that the first woman was created from a man's rib (I don't detect any sort of anti-woman theme here) despite the fact that that's the stupidest fucking thing imaginable.

Hmm, I didn't expect to get off on such a rant here. That's never happened before. To continue this trend, I'll do something else I always do: I'll repeat myself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: an unborn child is nothing but a parasite. Definition, from Merriam Webster Online:

parasite: 2: an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism

Sub-definition:

parasitism: 2: an intimate association between organisms of two or more kinds; especially : one in which a parasite obtains benefits from a host which it usually injures

If we kill ticks and heartworm, we can kill unborn baby parasites.