This is not exactly helping me feel safe, guys. Although I will let you know up front that I don't expect to feel safe. Two reasons. First off, TB isn't doing all that much to actually make us any safer. Hiring your good friend Tom Ridge to head up a new bureaucracy and occasionally come out to scare the shit out of us isn't making us any safer whether he goes on Letterman or not. Secondly, as we all know, there's no way to be 100% safe from terrorists, not even if John "I will destroy the terrorists" Stupid Fuckhead Kerry is in charge.

Hey, cocksuckers. I don't want "unity" coming from different government departments, I want someone who knows what the fuck they're doing (which, again, I'm not expecting). It doesn't comfort me to see Asscroft and Ridge in agreement, it comforts me to know that they're doing the jobs we're all told they're supposed to be doing. Which, of course, is why I take no comfort from these stupid assholes. If one of you disagrees with the other, fucking say so. That would imply to me that you're actually working and thinking, which of course you aren't. Agreeing just for the sake of agreement is not working to protect us, it's just working to keep up some bullshit charade.

In the end, either Justice jumped the script and wasn't supposed to release this fear nugget just yet, or Homeland Security fell behind. One of those, or they just don't know what the fuck they're doing. Kind of a judgment call on this one.

Oh, and it's great to see our government agencies communicating with one another so well. Isn't that communication thing supposed to be a new cornerstone in intelligence gathering and threat assessment? Fear not, America, because your government is working hard to protect you. And how do you know that they are? Because they fucking told you that they are, you cretin, and you shouldn't question that.