The Vatican, that bastion of enlightenment, has come out with a statement against feminism. Now, we can sit down and have an actual discussion on the pros and cons of the feminist movement, but I don't think this is it.

Being the skeptical, untrusting asshole that I am -- not to mention having seen some of the Church's earlier work -- I can't help but see all their "reasoning" as being a bullshit smokescreen for what they really want to say: that they're anti-woman. You can dress it up with all the compliments you like, but I just don't see how a 37-page statement could be anything but the cry of someone with an ax to grind.

As such, I see this as a not-so-clever ruse just like that infuriating stance they took where they said that condoms actually help the spread of AIDS (in case you missed that episode, yes, they really did that). That instance, of course, wasn't about AIDS since the Church could give less than a shit about people dying in Africa. They were more concerned then with finding a "rationale" for their anti-contraception stance, and they're more concerned now with trying to put women in the place they think they belong.

Well, okay, this situation isn't quite like the condoms and AIDS matter. I do think the underlying principle is that the Church is anti-woman. I mean, no female priests? What kind of fucking stupid shit is that? Oh yeah, misogynistic shit. The only reason to keep women from being priests is because you think they're somehow inferior. Period. Anyway, in addition to the misogyny, they probably really are pissed off over that erosion of the "Christian family" bullshit. That's the kind of nonsense that the Church really goes for. It's always some dumb crap about families and children with these people, or at least it is when they're not badmouthing women or ignoring the Holocaust or something.

"While most people in the U.S. think in psychological and sociological terms, the Vatican thinks and talks in philosophical and theological terms which most Americans find difficult to understand."

Yeah, difficult to understand, or, stupid.

Hey, you know what? Fuck the Christian family. I've had just about enough of them. If feminism really is seriously damaging the "traditional" family -- which it isn't -- then I'm all for it. How exactly in the hell is feminism causing problems with the family structure? By causing men and women to be "adversaries" and encouraging women to make "demands"? Men and women have been fighting since the dawn of time, and women have been making demands since slightly before that. With regards to those notions feminism is bringing nothing new to the table, so tell me, what is feminism doing to destroy families?

The drive for equality makes "homosexuality and heterosexuality virtually equivalent, in a new model of polymorphous sexuality," the Vatican said.

What the fuck? We were talking about feminism, and now homosexuality and heterosexuality are the same thing? How did... Where... Huh?

Oh, wait a minute, that's right - this is also an excuse for the Church to do a little gay-bashing. Hey, gotta give them credit for efficiency in hitting misogyny and homophobia all in one fell swoop. All while trying to sound all smart and shit by using big -- yet meaningless -- words like "polymorphous."

I don't see how striving towards men and woman being equals in our society has nothing to do with making a huge statement on sexual orientation. There's no logic train to follow there, something that's totally unsurprising since religion never relies upon logic for ANYTHING. What, are they trying to say that if we let women think for themselves that they'll decide to abandon their marriages so that they can start chowing down on box instead of not sucking their husbands' dicks? That's really about all that I can come up with. Whatever the case: puuuure bullshit. It's like the fucking underpants gnomes, for chrissakes:

Phase 1: Feminism
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Fag city!

Again... Huh? Like I said -- it's all about bullshit excuses to tangentially get into what they really want to talk about. But if they must, so be it.

First off, they say that feminism calls into question the "natural two-parent structure of mother and father" which gives homosexual couples equal status to heterosexual couples. I'm all for that equality coming about, but feminism, by their "logic," isn't what's doing it. Feminism, at least the way I view it, isn't trying to say that men and women are exactly the same. It's just trying to say that men and women should be equal socially, not biologically. As such, a mother and father are still mother and father. That paradigm isn't broken down by feminism.

Okay, I guess I helped answer my own question there. The Church and I have a fundamental difference in how we view feminism. Which is strange since we usually find ourselves in agreement. Since they see feminism as trying to make women and men the same in every way, then I suppose I can see how they arrive at their false conclusion about homosexuality. It's still stupid since they're either working off of a bad premise, or they're purposely putting forth a false assumption so that they can rip on gays

So in the end, maybe the family shit is just a smokescreen for woman-bashing, and the woman-bashing is just a smokescreen for the gay-bashing. Man, that is fucking efficient.

Continuing with the gay theme, no one has ever said that homosexuality and heterosexuality are "virtually equivalent." No more than anyone with a brain has ever said that men and women are exactly the same. "Man and woman are different." Thanks, Church. We already knew that, and no one is trying to say otherwise. But just because people are different -- whether they be man or woman, gay or straight, star-bellied or plain-bellied -- doesn't mean they should be treated any differently.

But, of course, the Church doesn't like any of this equality talk. They want subordinate women and eternally damned homosexuals. All so they can keep their boring, ignorant Christian family. Which, by the way, isn't threatened by any of what they're complaining about.