Once I'm in charge, one of the first things I'm going to do is ban eye makeup. Mascara can stay, but that eye shadow and especially eyeliner shit is right out. I do not profess to understand women, and I certainly don't understand this need to draw dark circles around your eyes or make it look like you have trouble listening. For some reason it's supposed to look good, but it doesn't. Look, if your eyes don't look good, you don't look good. Maybe you're ugly to begin with and it doesn't really matter, or maybe you can use these products responsibly (although I'm not convinced that's possible), but I don't care. It's been abused enough that I've had it.
Case in point are the pictures of Maria Sharapova in SI's latest non-strokefest. Maria Sharapova is hot, and unlike a certain Russian cunt bitch who was fucking Sergei Fedorov, Sharapova has actually won something in her sport that people might give a shit about. But whatever they've got going on with her eye makeup in those photos is not doing her justice. This is a pretty minor infraction, too, but I'm gonna see to it that all of this nonsense stops once and for all.
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