Not the post you'd expect from me when a teen's legs are involved

Everyone knows that I'm a bad person. As you will see in a moment, that title is proof enough. Many of you, in fact, may be bad people in one way or another. But we all look great on a relative scale, because there are people who do shit like this running around out there. I immediately want to say something stupid like "I can't fathom why you'd do this," but of course, the answer is simple: you are a sick fucking retard. I may sit here on my high horse, making my jokes and leaving myself zero credibility to criticize, but screw that. The principle of what I'm saying still stands. Just like the founding fathers with the Constitution, where they espoused belief in equality but were white male, slave-holding landowners who rigged things so their group was above all others. Just because they were hypocrites doesn't mean the ideas aren't solid.

They'd better catch this jackoff. I'm not too hopeful, though, considering they did it once before and got away with it. And I could swear that the first theft and the unceremonious return went down a long time ago because I remember hearing this on Jim Rome, but whatever. Anyway, if they do catch them, they oughta be killed. But hell, they did it twice. Well, assuming it's the same person or persons responsible this time around. But if that's the case, I think that it deserves a harsher punishment, but what? Shit, I'm not sure. Maybe send 'em up to Quentin on a kiddy raper beef and be done with it. Bud White would approve, and you should, too.

For shit like this though, why not? Rome would say "there's a special place in Hell for people like this," but of course, I don't believe in Hell so we're gonna have to come up with something on our own. I don't care how sane and rational you think you are, you've gotta be able to get on board with this notion of seemingly harsh punishments for senseless crimes. And that's the biggest issue I have with stuff like this, the senselessness. Even when it comes to things like rape and murder, you can oftentimes come up with a good reason to murder or rape someone (think Ann Coulter; and I'm not necessarily saying you should do it, but I understand). But there's just no point to stuff like this, so we should get rid of you. No one's going to miss you. And it's not like you were gonna go on in life to cure cancer, so fuck it. You're gone.

Alright, nice. Yet another post that'll be thrown back in my face if I ever decide to run for public office.