Krugman comes about as close as possible (in the Times, at least) to using one of my favorite phrases.

You know what I think is a fun word? "Blowback." Not sure why; it's just fun to say. Some of my other personal favorite words & phrases:

morally bankrupt
strapped for cash
knockin' boots
shackin' up
unreasonably hot (with reference to physical attractiveness)
unquenchable rage
bullshit [macho, elitist, etc.] posturing

This is great, because it's so true. Fuck people in BMWs - they always act like they own the fucking road. When will they learn that I own the fucking road?

BMW drivers have as well-established an identity as people who drive Acura Integras. Integra drivers, I've noticed, are all assholes. I'm talking about the older Integras, when it was called the Integra, and not the RSX. Also, it has to be a coupe and not the four door - those people are just pussies.

I had a friend who had a flaming asshole red Integra, and this kid was a prick on the roads. He would pass people on the on ramp to the highway. He'd drive in lanes that had been coned off for construction, then cut back into regular traffic when running out of real estate. He'd do some fucking trick whereby he could practically stall the car on the highway when he was being tailgated (but, let's face it, tailgaters deserve shit like that... just not when I'm in the back fucking seat of a hatchback-turned-deathmobile). He was only one of many assholes driving an Integra.

In addition to having to deal with these misfits on the road, I was always additionally pissed about the Integra thing because I was like "Hey, I'm an asshole... Where the fuck is my Integra?" I've been planning on getting an RSX at some point in the future (which will probably be whenever my trusty Civic finally dies... not because it's a bad car, but because I have driven the living fuck out of that poor thing), and I'll see what I can do about restoring its asshole legacy.

Oh, this is just fucking great to hear.

Yeah, I know it's not time to start panicking yet, because firing up a draft would be political suicide. Still, I can't help but be a little nervous anytime they bring this shit up.

Also, I think the "October 5" date in that article is a typo, because there are a handful of Guardian articles in their Special Report: United States section that are recent yet have the Oct. as opposed to Nov. date.

Amongst other good stuff, there's a great "News in Brief" in this week's Onion:

Undercover Agents Talking To Each Other In 'Under 12' Chatroom
WASHINGTON, DC - In an effort to weed out pedophiles, two FBI agents, identified only as "Cutiepie1994" and "KoalaLover," unknowingly communicated with one another in the under-12 chat room of TweenTalk.com for almost two hours Tuesday. "You should see me in my new bathing suit. It's really rad," Cutiepie wrote. "Kewl. Guess what? My parents aren't home right now," KoalaLover responded. Two minutes after their lengthy Internet conversation ended, KoalaLover unknowingly passed Cutiepie on the way into the bathroom.

That pretty much says it all when it comes to IRC. Despite my lolicon fantasyland, under 12 is too young even for me. I'm sure that's a comfort. However, whenever I talked to anyone claiming to be female, I was convinced they were either A) a guy or B) The Feds. The feds especially with any "teens."

If you're wondering why I would waste all that time mostly convinced it was a dude or the FBI or both, I'm not really sure. For some reason, if I kept a decent fantasy going in my head, it was fun, and could somehow block out the penis and/or arrest warrants on the other side. Fun as far as beating off goes, of course. Plus, you never know - it may have been some hottie on the other side who totally dug all of my sick fantasies. As if.

Speaking of "lolicon fantasyland," I've been thinking that I totally need to open up a Fuck Everything theme park. And yes, it would be the angriest place on Earth. "Lolicon Fantasyland" would be a great attraction in this park, right along with the "Neocon House of Horrors."

If you're looking for Volume 8 of the Chobits manga series that comes with the box and Chi figure, I'd suggest checking Borders retail stores. I placed an online order for one well over a month ago on Amazon/Borders/Waldenbooks, and I haven't heard shit about it since.

Don't get suckered into paying $50 for one on eBay, because apparently they're actually making appearances in the stores. Of course, you've gotta check Borders and Waldenbooks, since Tokyopop decided to be cocksuckers and make them exclusive to those stores at the last minute.

Pretty much anyone who cares that I know if is already aware of this shit, but since I've actually gotten hits over this fucking thing before from Google searches I thought I'd try and be useful. Which would be a first.

From a city known for being able to blow someone to get a part in a movie and lots of riots, this is pretty obscene.

Yeah, when it comes to those "VIP" rooms, you will get fucked back there. And not fucked in a good way, because as we all know, there is NO sex in the champagne room. Yes, I have personally collected data on this fact.

Still, if you're going into the titty bar, what's the point with this no-touch bullshit? And furthermore, you should know better than to get suckered into the champagne room. I did, and look what happened. I deserve what I got, which was still kinda fun. Just not that much fun.

Fuck you, Roy.

Here's another amusing Google search from today:

girls that can't pay rent

I'd love to know what that one was about. Is it a girl who's having trouble paying and is looking for a way to, er, supplement her income, or an asshole guy looking to take advantage of a girl who is having rent issues? Maybe it's something completely innocent, but there's no way in hell my sick mind can see those options.

I just found this extra amusing since I've spent the last two days hunting for an apartment. And it's able to be amusing since I managed to find a nice place today after not having terribly high hopes.

I'd been looking at two bedroom apartments, which sounds kinda stupid since it's just me. Sadly, however, I decided to get the Girls their own room. Well, okay, it's not just for them - but the second bedroom was pretty much going to be the toy room. I've got tons of Legos, and Micro Machines, and all sorts of other playsets I've been dying to set up somewhere and just totally litter a room with. This on top of all sorts of other crap that would do nothing but overfill my closet in a one bedroom rig.

In the end, I decided to get a one bedroom plus loft, and the loft is going to be motherfucking playland, my friends. And it is going to be good.

Okay, I was right to think along fucked up lines, and now I get that last post (the original is here, but I couldn't get to it and that's why I busted out the Google cache).

Even though it's well before noon, I'm going to declare the Google search of the day:

nambla sims

Yeah, maybe they're not referring to the game The Sims, but maybe they are. Regardless, that's how I'm gonna interpret it, because that's just fucked up.

Not surprisingly, a few reciprocal links have disappeared. In an attempt to clean up the "das 'blogs" section, I decided to remove some of the links that were no longer linking back. I don't think it actually did much to improve the aesthetic situation, but oh well.

If I've deleted your 'blog's link by mistake, let me know. Assuming, of course, that you give a flying fuck. Also, I've noticed a couple of new links to this 'blog, and like always I'll post them... Sometime.

Despite the posting dry spell, I did find one thing that has me pissed off enough to rant about it, and it is this.

Look, I have no idea as to the whether or not the miniseries is accurate. But since when has Hollywood ever been required to sumbit any work to the Republican National Committee for historic accuracy approval? Or anyone else with any other artistic work, for that matter (yes, I'm using "artistic" very loosely here with regards to a TV miniseries)?

Can anyone else say "single-party state"?

For anyone who has A) noticed and B) gives a shit, yeah, things have been slow here in the past couple of days. Most people probably wouldn't think much of it with their 'blogs, but it feels weird to me considering the amount of drivel I'm capable of putting out and often do put out.

Right now, I'm in the middle of a two-day apartment hunting extravaganza, and then the next several days will involve packing. And holy hell, do I have a ton of shit for just one person. Even though I will be packing to go somewhere I want to be going, packing is always still a bitch, and procrastination will undoubtedly lead to a post or two.

Even after the move, which will hopefully go down this weekend, there's still the piecing my apartment together shit, and of course, the new job, which starts next Monday. I have no idea what things are going to look like at Fuck Everything with the new job in the picture. My guess is that the job is going to be as hard as I want it to be - the primary thing I've been hired to do is probably going to be pretty easy. However, there's all sorts of other shit that I can get involved with in this job, and I'm hoping I don't fuck up and instead take advantage of things.

I suspect that if nothing else, I will actually have shit to do during the day at the new job, unlike my semi-real job which ended in April (towards the end, at least, when this 'blog came into being) or my summer job. Both of those allowed plenty of ample time for 'blogging. I suspect that if any 'blogging during the day takes place, it will be diminished from it's previous form. This, of course, coming from the guy who said he was going to step up the 'blogging when he was unemployed at the beginning of May. I was unemployed for about two weeks, during which I did virtually no 'blogging.

I'm planning on ending the long national nightmare of not having broadband ASAP, so when I'm home at least I will probably be spending a decent amount of time. There is going to be so much fucking porn and anime that I'm going to be downloading, and undoubtedly, I will get the urge to do some 'blogging somewhere in there. Statistically, it doesn't look too bad.

So yeah, we'll see where things go. I feel awkward posting this, even narcissistic, but I feel like I should be saying something, since I know that for some fucked up reason I actually have regular or semi-regular readers. Oh well. It's not as if I'm not allowed some narcissistic license every now and then, and it's not like it hasn't happened before.

I have no conclusion for this, so I will end it with a small bow.

Just saw a commercial with Kevin Smith (of Mallrats fame... Fuck you, 'Rats was fucking great) advertising for Panasonic's DVD recorder. This coming from the guy who once loudly pronounced "Fuck DVD!" on a LaserDisc commentary track. Apparently, it really is a "format and a half" to him now.

Seeing this commercial was almost as surreal as browsing video games and seeing Sonic the Hedgehog for Nintendo Gameboy.

The inflamatorily-named partial-birth abortion debate rages on. Take a good look at it, America. This is how it is, and how it's going to continue to be if we don't get our shit together and get these cocksuckers out of office next year.

This bill that's about to be passed is such fucking horseshit. There are plenty of insidious things about it, but three things in particular strike me. First, there's the fact that the Bush administration knows that it is unlikely to get Roe v. Wade overturned anytime soon. As such, they're going to do every thing they can to chip away at abortion rights. Piece by piece, they're going to whittle away at abortion rights, doing it slowly enough that people won't be able to see the long-term effects until it's too late.

The next thing that pisses me off about the bill is the fact that the bill itself contained a graphic description of the procedure. To paraphrase someone else's thoughts on this from a comment several weeks back, you could get just about any medical procedure banned if you wrote a bill which included a description of the procedure in all its gory details. The inclusion of a description is nothing but marketing spin, and I think it's particularly scummy. There was no reason for the description to be included, because it's not like people don't have an idea as to what this is about.

Finally, there's the fact that there is no provision for performing the procedure when the mother's health is at stake. Now, I'm no medical expert here. Opponents say that there's never a reason for this procedure to be performed. However, I can't see any other reason as to why the fuck it would be performed.

On top of not caring about the mother's health, there will be harsh penalties for doctors who perform the procedure. Last I checked, a doctor's primary concern is the well-being of the patient, but now they can be punished for doing their fucking job. You know, unless if your OB/GYN is Josef Mengele, the procedure probably isn't being performed on a whim.

The good news is that there's a decent chance that this procedure will be shot down. As has been pointed out several times, a Nebraska law was struck down primarily because it did not have a woman's health provision. Here's to hoping that precedent is upheld, and that it's done soon.

I think that the ban in general, and the lack of a provision for the mother's health in particular, really drives home a point that George Carlin made: that these anti-abortion activists hate women. Apparently, they care more about some bullshit that the Bible supposedly told them than a human being who's already fucking living. If that isn't misogyny, then I don't know what is.

Some of you will be quick to point out that a lot of those "misogynists" are women themselves. Well, I just do not understand a lot of these women. Okay, I do understand them; they're ignorant. Still, all I can ask them is the question: Why the hell do you want some creepy old man telling you what to do with your body? If you're against abortion, don't fucking have one.

The only group I can somewhat understand is the women who are against abortion due to the fact that they themselves have had an abortion, which they now regret. Look, lady, I have nothing but sympathy for what's obviously a tough situation. But just because you made a decision that you're now unhappy with doesn't mean that you should be allowed to take that decision away from other women.

This brings me to another point, that being the decision itself. This is coming from a no-uterus-whatsoever position, but my guess is that it's never easy to make the decision to have an abortion. In the case of partial birth abortion/intact dilation and extraction, I sincerely doubt it's easy for a doctor to make the decision to just suggest or recommend the procedure, nonetheless actually perform it, or for the mother to give permission for the procedure. These fucking anti-abortion people, though, act as if these decisions are made lightly. Furthermore, unless if you're Marla from Fight Club, it's not like anyone ever sets out to get pregnant and then have an abortion. It's a tough decision, but for some women, it's the right one. For other women, it seems like the right one at the time, but later turns out not to be. That's life. It sucks, but shit happens.

In the end, some people won't even bother with religion, and just say that "It's a child. You're killing a baby, for chrissakes!" Well, to be honest with you, I just don't care. Taking a look at the fact that scores of people die every day, I just can't give the unborn any sort of special treatment just because they're unborn and we for some reason have a huge obsession with that.

Here's a couple of definitions for 'ya, courtesy of Merriam Webster Online:

parasite: 2: an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism

parasitism: 2: an intimate association between organisms of two or more kinds; especially : one in which a parasite obtains benefits from a host which it usually injures

Technically, a baby is just a parasite living within its mother's body. If we can kill ticks and heartworm, we can kill unborn baby parasites. And, tough as the decision to do it may be, we can take that little fucker out even at a late stage if there's still danger to the mother.

Lucky for me, I fucking hate basketball, and as such won't be exposed to this.

I suppose I'm obligated to post any news I come across involving Catholic schoolgirls. Those girls really could stand to be more attractive, though.

They totally should have entitled this article "Catholic High School Girls in Trouble!" However, I'm pretty sure CNN isn't going to show titties on shower door glass.

Here's how my Halloween went:

"Okay, there aren't gonna be any trick-or-treaters"

"Fucking dick"

"No, this is Kelly"

"Fuck you, this is Kelly"

"There IS no Kelly"

"I'm gonna go look at this pie thing"

"Is anyone in shutdown?"
"Not my robot..."

"We can't take him anywhere"
"No, we don't go out because we hate everyone"
"We've been lying to you"

"Yeah, it's gonna be three words: Fuck Robo Rally"

"I'm just spinning"

"As I turn away from the flag... Yet again"

The non-partisan Center for Public Integrity has released a report focusing on the contracts awarded to U.S. companies in Iraq and Afghanistan. In addition to a look at the money changing hands over these two countries as well as ties to the Administration and others in government, there us an overview of general trends over the past decade or so when it comes to the government's outsourcing of work.

It took a while to get through all of the info, but it's a good read (well, depending on what you think is "good"). Although all of the links below are available from the link above, I've gone ahead and broken most of them out anyway.

This article gives an overview of a lot of the contractors being awarded government money, as well as the Center's difficulty in obtaining info on all of the contracts.

This article goes a little more in-depth into the challenges the center ran into trying to collect info under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA).

Discussed here is the increased trend over the past decade to outsource government work to the private sector.

Executive Order 13303, which is related to Iraqi oil and was signed back in May is discussed here. If you are interested in reading the Order itself, you can find it on this page.

A closer look at one company, Sullivan Haave with government ties is covered in this article.

Another company of interest doing work in Iraq is Science Applications International Corporation, and discussion of there contracts is found here. In addition to the stuff about them from the "Winning Contractors" article (that is, how IRDC members are on SAIC's payroll), I found it interesting that SAIC's contracts were awarded in February, well before the war actually started.

Here is a look at some contracts that were handed out directly by provisional authorities in the two countries, instead of by the Defense Department, the State Department, or USAID.

Here is a table summarizing contractors and what information the Center was able to piece together about what they were paid to do and how much they were paid to do it.

Finally, contractors are ranked by total contract value, campaign contributions, and contract history.

War is good, isn't it? Well, if you're a well-connected American company, it is.

Perhaps it truly is a new day. I'm on the verge of starting a new job, the economy might (might) be on the road to recovery, and I finally got a hit from a Google search that was related to underage girls but wasn't someone looking for child porn:

getting rid of beauty pageants for girls under 13

This search, of course, hit on my beauty pageant-related rants from August 8th and August 9th.

No surprise here. Sure, it's progress, but we'll see just how much progress it turns into since the administration has shown its commitment to destroying the environment.

Krugman, always the pro-Bush optimist.

Line of the day, courtesy of JFR (Jim Fucking Rome):

"And if you don't hate reality TV, you're not smart."

Joke of the week:

A priest and a rabbi are walking through the woods. On their voyage, they encounter a young boy.

"Let's fuck him," the priest says.

To which the rabbi replies "Outta what?"