Amongst other good stuff, there's a great "News in Brief" in this week's Onion:

Undercover Agents Talking To Each Other In 'Under 12' Chatroom
WASHINGTON, DC - In an effort to weed out pedophiles, two FBI agents, identified only as "Cutiepie1994" and "KoalaLover," unknowingly communicated with one another in the under-12 chat room of TweenTalk.com for almost two hours Tuesday. "You should see me in my new bathing suit. It's really rad," Cutiepie wrote. "Kewl. Guess what? My parents aren't home right now," KoalaLover responded. Two minutes after their lengthy Internet conversation ended, KoalaLover unknowingly passed Cutiepie on the way into the bathroom.

That pretty much says it all when it comes to IRC. Despite my lolicon fantasyland, under 12 is too young even for me. I'm sure that's a comfort. However, whenever I talked to anyone claiming to be female, I was convinced they were either A) a guy or B) The Feds. The feds especially with any "teens."

If you're wondering why I would waste all that time mostly convinced it was a dude or the FBI or both, I'm not really sure. For some reason, if I kept a decent fantasy going in my head, it was fun, and could somehow block out the penis and/or arrest warrants on the other side. Fun as far as beating off goes, of course. Plus, you never know - it may have been some hottie on the other side who totally dug all of my sick fantasies. As if.

Speaking of "lolicon fantasyland," I've been thinking that I totally need to open up a Fuck Everything theme park. And yes, it would be the angriest place on Earth. "Lolicon Fantasyland" would be a great attraction in this park, right along with the "Neocon House of Horrors."