Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
For anyone who thinks I might be slipping in my old age, no, I did not miss this piece of news -- I just didn't get a chance to comment on it until now. And yeah, that sucks. Don Adams was the man. Sure, he was only known for two things, but if you're only going to be known for two things, Get Smart and Inspector Gadget may as well be them.
For anyone who knows me, they know that Get Smart is one of my all-time favorite shows, and it had way more of an impact on my life than it should have. For a couple of years back in middle school, when Get Smart was running on Nick-at-Nite, I so totally wanted to be Maxwell Smart. The fact that I idolized Max should tell you a lot about me right there, and you have another decent sized piece of the BLM puzzle. And you know what? I didn't just want to be Max, I was Max. Or at least, that's what I pretended to be. Wherever I went, I was packing. A cap gun. Hey, you never know when KAOS is going to try and start some shit. And it wasn't no pussy-ass cap gun like those ones that they'll sell that are bright orange. Fuck no; I went to great lengths to make sure that my toy looked as authentic as possible. On top of that I made myself a CONTROL ID card, carefully scrutinizing shitty VHS tapes to make it as close to what was on-screen as possible. I even tried (unsuccessfully) to make myself a shoe-phone once. My life revolved around "pulling a Max" and "achieving Max hair" (only one person out there will get that, and for once it's not ETP). It was sad, but I was me.
But c'mon now -- who wouldn't want to be Max? He's a spy. Not a real-life spy, but the cool bullshit kind of spy that every guy wants to be at pretty much any given stage in his life. He's an idiot, yet somehow, he's at the top of his game. He has cool cars and cool spy gadgets. And, of course, he gets to hang out with 99. That's really all you need to say to make the case, but all the other stuff is still neat, too.
I roped everyone that I could into my fantasy world. Really no one got on board except for my best friend back in 6th and 7th grade. Since I had to be the main character, he had to choose his own number, so he went with the unused 79. And that's pretty much it... We were CONTROL agents. We had gun battles at my parents' house (with him, of course, always playing the KAOS agent because I'm a selfish prick). Ahhh, the things we do as kids to keep ourselves entertained.
So where was 99? Well, on occasion, I could get my cousin to play along (yes, she was a she; I'm not gonna let some dude play 99), but that was about it. Being the ladies man that I wasn't, I never had a full-time 99. Bummer. I never had a cool car, either, because I was 12. But one of these days, goddammit, I'm going to have a red Sunbeam Tiger. And I'm going to fix it up so that a machine gun pops up out of the hood. You're laughing? I'm not laughing. This is serious business.
One of the best weeks of my life (again, this says a lot about me, but I still have a nicer car than you, so what does that say about yourself) was when Nick-at-Nite had an all-week Get Smart marathon which they entitled "Maximum Smart." They played most (if not all) of the episodes from the show's five seasons (that CNN article doesn't quite have it right), and I was in my glory. It was, like, that week, and this one week that MTV had a bunch of new Beavis and Butthead episodes (including "The Great Cornholio") that were the best fucking weeks ever. Again, sad.
Get Smart really needs to come out on DVD. I found the reunion show Get Smart, Again! at one point, but they are as yet to release the TV series on DVD. Get on it, fuckers, because I will buy it immediately. Don't pull any shit by releasing a "best-of" compilation, either. If other shit like Green Acres is out on DVD, there's no excuse for not having Get Smart out.
So yeah, there's another trip down memory lane that you didn't want. Sorry about that, Chief.
For anyone who knows me, they know that Get Smart is one of my all-time favorite shows, and it had way more of an impact on my life than it should have. For a couple of years back in middle school, when Get Smart was running on Nick-at-Nite, I so totally wanted to be Maxwell Smart. The fact that I idolized Max should tell you a lot about me right there, and you have another decent sized piece of the BLM puzzle. And you know what? I didn't just want to be Max, I was Max. Or at least, that's what I pretended to be. Wherever I went, I was packing. A cap gun. Hey, you never know when KAOS is going to try and start some shit. And it wasn't no pussy-ass cap gun like those ones that they'll sell that are bright orange. Fuck no; I went to great lengths to make sure that my toy looked as authentic as possible. On top of that I made myself a CONTROL ID card, carefully scrutinizing shitty VHS tapes to make it as close to what was on-screen as possible. I even tried (unsuccessfully) to make myself a shoe-phone once. My life revolved around "pulling a Max" and "achieving Max hair" (only one person out there will get that, and for once it's not ETP). It was sad, but I was me.
But c'mon now -- who wouldn't want to be Max? He's a spy. Not a real-life spy, but the cool bullshit kind of spy that every guy wants to be at pretty much any given stage in his life. He's an idiot, yet somehow, he's at the top of his game. He has cool cars and cool spy gadgets. And, of course, he gets to hang out with 99. That's really all you need to say to make the case, but all the other stuff is still neat, too.
I roped everyone that I could into my fantasy world. Really no one got on board except for my best friend back in 6th and 7th grade. Since I had to be the main character, he had to choose his own number, so he went with the unused 79. And that's pretty much it... We were CONTROL agents. We had gun battles at my parents' house (with him, of course, always playing the KAOS agent because I'm a selfish prick). Ahhh, the things we do as kids to keep ourselves entertained.
So where was 99? Well, on occasion, I could get my cousin to play along (yes, she was a she; I'm not gonna let some dude play 99), but that was about it. Being the ladies man that I wasn't, I never had a full-time 99. Bummer. I never had a cool car, either, because I was 12. But one of these days, goddammit, I'm going to have a red Sunbeam Tiger. And I'm going to fix it up so that a machine gun pops up out of the hood. You're laughing? I'm not laughing. This is serious business.
One of the best weeks of my life (again, this says a lot about me, but I still have a nicer car than you, so what does that say about yourself) was when Nick-at-Nite had an all-week Get Smart marathon which they entitled "Maximum Smart." They played most (if not all) of the episodes from the show's five seasons (that CNN article doesn't quite have it right), and I was in my glory. It was, like, that week, and this one week that MTV had a bunch of new Beavis and Butthead episodes (including "The Great Cornholio") that were the best fucking weeks ever. Again, sad.
Get Smart really needs to come out on DVD. I found the reunion show Get Smart, Again! at one point, but they are as yet to release the TV series on DVD. Get on it, fuckers, because I will buy it immediately. Don't pull any shit by releasing a "best-of" compilation, either. If other shit like Green Acres is out on DVD, there's no excuse for not having Get Smart out.
So yeah, there's another trip down memory lane that you didn't want. Sorry about that, Chief.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
When Alberto Gonzales came on board as Attorney General, it was like, okay, this isn't a good guy. "Torture guy," being one of Bush's closest associates, clearly couldn't be a good guy. But some of us were thinking, well, at least he's not the psycho Christian that Asscroft is. Sounds like he'll at least leave us alone when it comes to things like porn. Well, not anymore. Linked off of that editorial is a slightly less slanted view, but fuck it; the slant pretty much has it right. Err, left, depending on how you want to parse that.
This is riduculous, and of course, not entirely surprising. But yeah, this is how they're keeping us safe from the big bad men out there -- by giving some people a few less things to masturbate over.
Concerned parents argue that our society has become increasingly tolerant of pornography and socially questionable material, and many of them blame the Internet for the degradation of traditional American values.
You hear shit like this a lot, and it both irritates me and makes me laugh. "Traditional American values." Yeah, in a country whose foundations are in things like, uh, slavery. Also, I'm tired of the 'net getting blamed for everything. Is the internet a cesspool? Yeah, but so is humanity. The explosion of porn on the internet is just a reflection of what's going on in peoples' minds. Stuff that would be there anyway; now everyone just knows that they're not alone. "But it's an enabler!" As an example, from what I understand, the rates of child sexual abuse haven't really gone up since the internet got big, even though we know that the 'net is big with pedos.
Also, "socially questionable"? That's meaningless. Anything can be socially questionable, but that doesn't make it illegal. And of course, just because something is illegal doesn't make it wrong, just like something being legal doesn't make it right. That't not to say that everything is nebulous and gray, but a lot of things are nebulous and gray. On the other hand, some things aren 't. Look, I didn't mean for this post to ramble on like this, but when you have a thousand loose ends, why not add some more.
As long as what I do doesn't harm you personally, I have a right to do it. It's a silly view and a view rejected by law enforcement policies all over the country.
Well, fucker, that's how things should be. It's not silly, and god, the fucking arrogance to say that it is. If it doesn't hurt anyone else, then where the fuck is the harm? I know, I know, bigger picture, fabric of society, blah blah blah. It's the same kind of stretched, abstract reasoning that people use against things like gay marriage. The arguments don't really mean anything and the supposed results certainly aren't quantifiable, but it all sounds good (mainly becase they agree with it), so they roll with it.
Before I delve too far into the second link, take a look at the picture of Alex Acosta. What the fuck is up with that guy? If you look at his picture for more than a couple of seconds, you realize that something is wrong with that guy. In fact, everything is wrong. He looks like something by Escher -- bits and pieces look OK and make sense, but as a whole it just doesn't work with reality.
Sources say Acosta was told by the FBI officials during last month's meeting that obscenity prosecution would have to be handled by the crimes against children unit. But that unit is already overworked and would have to take agents off cases of child endangerment to work on adult porn cases.
Wow, that is fucked up. They will actually have to pull people off of investigating kiddie porn for this bullshit. It doesn't take a genius to see that this is how it will be, though, and of course it will be pointed out left and right. The thing is, the people behind this -- religious conservatives -- obviously don't care. They're more interested in pushing their views and making a point than really doing things to help children. We know that Catholics don't give a shit about kids based on that little pedophile priest thing, but the rest of them talk a good game even though -- surprise, surprise -- they're completely full of shit.
"It's all part of the same thing, of the organized crime syndicate," Sharp said. "It has an effect on children."
Again, bullshit. You just want to think that it has a huge effect on children. Or, more importantly, you want everyone else to think that it does. But as always, children are just pawns to these people. Anytime there's something that the religious right doesn't like, they claim it's bad for children. Look, I'm not saying that any of this is good for children, but they're not the targeted consumers of it. Now, I'm not naive enough to think that kids can be completely isolated from pornography, but I don't think many kids have died or been irrevocably damaged by accidental exposure to porn. How many of us when we were younger were exposed to it in some fashion or other? And yeah, it's just total chaos in our society. And for kids who are damaged, I'd be willing to bet that it's stupid adults and the stigma they bring to things that causes the real damage. The problem is that adults look at sexual material through adult eyes, as opposed to kids' eyes where they're kinda curious about things, but they don't have those hormones to give it any meaning. Again, I'm not saying that this is stuff that kids need to be exposed to, since they don't understand it, but if they are exposed maybe more people should just do some of that goddamn "parenting" stuff that they seem to be so proud of but are actually really shitty at.
Our society sucks, but not because of things like this. Sure, there's some fucked up shit out there, hell, lots of shit that even I'll say "uhhh, no thanks" to, but as long as it isn't hurting anyone else, I don't care if others are into it. As always, do what you gotta do. Don't involve kids, don't force anyone, and don't hurt anyone who isn't into the whole pain thing. Again: where is the harm? And give me something concrete, not just a bunch of the aforementioned bullshit. The problem is, to a lot of people out there, it isn't bullshit -- and they've got a lot more clout than a bunch of superstitious dumbfucks should have.
Another problem I have with this is that even if they succeed in putting people in jail, levying fines, and shutting pornographers down, it still doesn't really accomplish anything. All it does it push shit underground, but it doesn't go away. And any dumbfuck knows this. Good luck fighting human perversion. Now, in some cases, like with child porn, it's still worth fighting the fight because the consequences are clear. But with lots of other "obscenity," it isn't worth it. You're not going to change things. But as long as they make their point and think they're making great inroads in helping society, they're happy. Even when they are the ones who are truly destroying the values that we're (supposedly) built on.
This is riduculous, and of course, not entirely surprising. But yeah, this is how they're keeping us safe from the big bad men out there -- by giving some people a few less things to masturbate over.
Concerned parents argue that our society has become increasingly tolerant of pornography and socially questionable material, and many of them blame the Internet for the degradation of traditional American values.
You hear shit like this a lot, and it both irritates me and makes me laugh. "Traditional American values." Yeah, in a country whose foundations are in things like, uh, slavery. Also, I'm tired of the 'net getting blamed for everything. Is the internet a cesspool? Yeah, but so is humanity. The explosion of porn on the internet is just a reflection of what's going on in peoples' minds. Stuff that would be there anyway; now everyone just knows that they're not alone. "But it's an enabler!" As an example, from what I understand, the rates of child sexual abuse haven't really gone up since the internet got big, even though we know that the 'net is big with pedos.
Also, "socially questionable"? That's meaningless. Anything can be socially questionable, but that doesn't make it illegal. And of course, just because something is illegal doesn't make it wrong, just like something being legal doesn't make it right. That't not to say that everything is nebulous and gray, but a lot of things are nebulous and gray. On the other hand, some things aren 't. Look, I didn't mean for this post to ramble on like this, but when you have a thousand loose ends, why not add some more.
As long as what I do doesn't harm you personally, I have a right to do it. It's a silly view and a view rejected by law enforcement policies all over the country.
Well, fucker, that's how things should be. It's not silly, and god, the fucking arrogance to say that it is. If it doesn't hurt anyone else, then where the fuck is the harm? I know, I know, bigger picture, fabric of society, blah blah blah. It's the same kind of stretched, abstract reasoning that people use against things like gay marriage. The arguments don't really mean anything and the supposed results certainly aren't quantifiable, but it all sounds good (mainly becase they agree with it), so they roll with it.
Before I delve too far into the second link, take a look at the picture of Alex Acosta. What the fuck is up with that guy? If you look at his picture for more than a couple of seconds, you realize that something is wrong with that guy. In fact, everything is wrong. He looks like something by Escher -- bits and pieces look OK and make sense, but as a whole it just doesn't work with reality.
Sources say Acosta was told by the FBI officials during last month's meeting that obscenity prosecution would have to be handled by the crimes against children unit. But that unit is already overworked and would have to take agents off cases of child endangerment to work on adult porn cases.
Wow, that is fucked up. They will actually have to pull people off of investigating kiddie porn for this bullshit. It doesn't take a genius to see that this is how it will be, though, and of course it will be pointed out left and right. The thing is, the people behind this -- religious conservatives -- obviously don't care. They're more interested in pushing their views and making a point than really doing things to help children. We know that Catholics don't give a shit about kids based on that little pedophile priest thing, but the rest of them talk a good game even though -- surprise, surprise -- they're completely full of shit.
"It's all part of the same thing, of the organized crime syndicate," Sharp said. "It has an effect on children."
Again, bullshit. You just want to think that it has a huge effect on children. Or, more importantly, you want everyone else to think that it does. But as always, children are just pawns to these people. Anytime there's something that the religious right doesn't like, they claim it's bad for children. Look, I'm not saying that any of this is good for children, but they're not the targeted consumers of it. Now, I'm not naive enough to think that kids can be completely isolated from pornography, but I don't think many kids have died or been irrevocably damaged by accidental exposure to porn. How many of us when we were younger were exposed to it in some fashion or other? And yeah, it's just total chaos in our society. And for kids who are damaged, I'd be willing to bet that it's stupid adults and the stigma they bring to things that causes the real damage. The problem is that adults look at sexual material through adult eyes, as opposed to kids' eyes where they're kinda curious about things, but they don't have those hormones to give it any meaning. Again, I'm not saying that this is stuff that kids need to be exposed to, since they don't understand it, but if they are exposed maybe more people should just do some of that goddamn "parenting" stuff that they seem to be so proud of but are actually really shitty at.
Our society sucks, but not because of things like this. Sure, there's some fucked up shit out there, hell, lots of shit that even I'll say "uhhh, no thanks" to, but as long as it isn't hurting anyone else, I don't care if others are into it. As always, do what you gotta do. Don't involve kids, don't force anyone, and don't hurt anyone who isn't into the whole pain thing. Again: where is the harm? And give me something concrete, not just a bunch of the aforementioned bullshit. The problem is, to a lot of people out there, it isn't bullshit -- and they've got a lot more clout than a bunch of superstitious dumbfucks should have.
Another problem I have with this is that even if they succeed in putting people in jail, levying fines, and shutting pornographers down, it still doesn't really accomplish anything. All it does it push shit underground, but it doesn't go away. And any dumbfuck knows this. Good luck fighting human perversion. Now, in some cases, like with child porn, it's still worth fighting the fight because the consequences are clear. But with lots of other "obscenity," it isn't worth it. You're not going to change things. But as long as they make their point and think they're making great inroads in helping society, they're happy. Even when they are the ones who are truly destroying the values that we're (supposedly) built on.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
It's pretty laughable for the Catholic Church to be complaining about corruption. I mean, not that it isn't, you know, fucking rampant in Mexico, but coming from a bunch of child molesters it really doesn't mean as much as it could.
Pope Benedict XVI last week described the danger posed to Mexican society by drug trafficking and corruption.
Pot, kettle, black, blah blah. Also, Benedict, keep in mind that the Conclave partly chose you because odds are you're going to die relatively soon. Not relevant to this discussion, but I needed to throw that out there.
Mexican Attorney General Daniel Cabeza de Vaca...
Cabeza de Vaca? Head of cow? That has to be the best name ever. Or not, depending on your perspective. Considering that he's the "attorney general," I think that tells you a lot about the state of affairs in Mexico right there. The Church is still a bunch of fuck-off kiddie rapers, though.
Oh, and hey, now that I think about it, the Catholic Church has a wee bit of a following down in Mexico. So it's nice to see that the Church has been doing soooo much to help matters, and I doubt they share in the blame for how things are down there.
Pope Benedict XVI last week described the danger posed to Mexican society by drug trafficking and corruption.
Pot, kettle, black, blah blah. Also, Benedict, keep in mind that the Conclave partly chose you because odds are you're going to die relatively soon. Not relevant to this discussion, but I needed to throw that out there.
Mexican Attorney General Daniel Cabeza de Vaca...
Cabeza de Vaca? Head of cow? That has to be the best name ever. Or not, depending on your perspective. Considering that he's the "attorney general," I think that tells you a lot about the state of affairs in Mexico right there. The Church is still a bunch of fuck-off kiddie rapers, though.
Oh, and hey, now that I think about it, the Catholic Church has a wee bit of a following down in Mexico. So it's nice to see that the Church has been doing soooo much to help matters, and I doubt they share in the blame for how things are down there.
I find two things about this amusing. One, is that one of the girls nearly poisoned herself. That's pretty smart. Maybe she was thought that poisoning her own milk would make her look like a victim and not the perpetrator, and that would keep her out of trouble? Also a brilliant angle. And the second thing that amuses me is that CNN will let me set "Juvenile Delinquency" as one of my e-mail alerts. My life is not yet bankrupt enough that I need CNN sending me e-mail on that subject, although if I'm posting random links to shit like that I must be on my way.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Christians? Later, dude.
Seriously, who the fuck goes out for pop at odd hours of the night and ends up getting accused of third-degree sexual assault?
Seriously, who the fuck goes out for pop at odd hours of the night and ends up getting accused of third-degree sexual assault?
Friday, September 16, 2005
Okay, Blogging tools are pissing me off. First, there's Technorati, which as we all know, has become a total piece of shit since their last redesign and update. They want to be this big search engine for blogs and shit (but I repeat myself), and they're doing all that nonsense at the expense of things that I care about, namely being able to see who links my piece of crap. For the past several weeks, every time I went to go do check links to my site, after a long wait I got an error that they were experiencing too many search requests and to try again later. FUCK YOU. Put requests into a bloody queue or something, dipshits. Don't give me this garbage that you can't perform the one function you're designed for, namely searching. I haven't been getting these errors for the past couple of days, but now it's just slow as shit. I guess I'll take what I can get, but I still kinda hope Google Blog search really takes off and buries Technorati. I'm sick of Google and all, but if they can help me in my need for revenge, so be it.
Then there's Haloscan. I just noticed that I had comments from four days ago, ones which I missed because I did not get an e-mail notification. This is not a new phenomenon; it's been going on for weeks if not months. I don't know if there's just something fucked up with my e-mail, but I wouldn't be surprised if they just want another ten bucks out of me to start getting all of my notification mails again.
Then there's Haloscan. I just noticed that I had comments from four days ago, ones which I missed because I did not get an e-mail notification. This is not a new phenomenon; it's been going on for weeks if not months. I don't know if there's just something fucked up with my e-mail, but I wouldn't be surprised if they just want another ten bucks out of me to start getting all of my notification mails again.
God damn it I want to fucking kill people
People like this shouldn't be celebrated, they should be shot. I don't know what the bigger crime is -- watching TV for nearly 70 hours straight, getting rewarded for it, or network programming -- but this kind of thing should not be allowed to happen, yet this is the current foundation of our society.
He does it, he says, to raise awareness of suffering children.
WHAT?! The only children suffering are ME for having to put up with this kind of stupid bullshit.
He does it, he says, to raise awareness of suffering children.
WHAT?! The only children suffering are ME for having to put up with this kind of stupid bullshit.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Yahoo search:
where can i fuck many people in west virginia
Well, if you live in West Virginia, as I suspect that you do, just look to where most other people from West Virginia look to for many people to fuck -- your family.
where can i fuck many people in west virginia
Well, if you live in West Virginia, as I suspect that you do, just look to where most other people from West Virginia look to for many people to fuck -- your family.
Nutscrape search:
does identical twin pussies look alike
Once again, I hate guys. Only a guy would not only spend time pondering such asinine questions, but only a guy would take the time to ask a search engine, and do it with poor grammar nonetheless.
There was an article posted on Slashdot recently about trying to create an embryo with genetic material from two mothers. Now, sperm was still needed to fertilize one egg initially, so it wasn't as if a guy's involvement was totally eliminated. But maybe someday they can figure out how to form viable embryos without sperm, thus negating the need for men, and I think that's the direction we should be heading in.
Sure, I pointed out several days ago that all women hate eachother, so it's not like this alone solves all of the world's problems. Men fight and start wars with eachother over dick size, so I'm sure women would find something to do battle over. I think with men out of the equation, though, that would reduce a lot of the potential for wars right there. As long as there are enough shopping malls that should help matters greatly. And that's not a crack on women; a day and age when we're focused on building malls instead of nuclear weapons sounds great to me. From a personal standpoint it's unfortunate that even feminized guys like me would be eliminated and unable to enjoy this, but hey. That's the price we pay for progress.
does identical twin pussies look alike
Once again, I hate guys. Only a guy would not only spend time pondering such asinine questions, but only a guy would take the time to ask a search engine, and do it with poor grammar nonetheless.
There was an article posted on Slashdot recently about trying to create an embryo with genetic material from two mothers. Now, sperm was still needed to fertilize one egg initially, so it wasn't as if a guy's involvement was totally eliminated. But maybe someday they can figure out how to form viable embryos without sperm, thus negating the need for men, and I think that's the direction we should be heading in.
Sure, I pointed out several days ago that all women hate eachother, so it's not like this alone solves all of the world's problems. Men fight and start wars with eachother over dick size, so I'm sure women would find something to do battle over. I think with men out of the equation, though, that would reduce a lot of the potential for wars right there. As long as there are enough shopping malls that should help matters greatly. And that's not a crack on women; a day and age when we're focused on building malls instead of nuclear weapons sounds great to me. From a personal standpoint it's unfortunate that even feminized guys like me would be eliminated and unable to enjoy this, but hey. That's the price we pay for progress.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
For the uninitiated, that period is not misplaced
Sun Microsystems recently came out with a "provocative" ad campaign aimed primarily at competitor Dell. "Provocative" is a word that's virtually meaningless in a country that nearly falls apart at one exposed breast, but the ads are actually pretty ballsy for a big company like Sun. A bit childish, but they still get points from me (and that's what every big company really wants; points from some random dipshit). Some of the ads didn't get approval in major publications which, again, exposed breast. But anyway, here are some of the proposed ones, and here are the ones that ended up getting run. I would consider getting some Sun hardware or using Solaris if it wasn't for the fact that Sun and their OS also suck. Oh, and let's not forget that Java.sucks.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Okay, I've complained about soulless cocksuckers on eBay before, but this takes the cake (where?). Your life sucks, you're an idiot, your family is an idiot, the home inspectors you hire are idiots, and it's the doll's fault? I honestly couldn't even read all of the stuff in that eBay listing because it's just too much (literally and figuratively), but it has to be the biggest sob story of all time to try and hawk some piece of shit item. This is worse than the guy selling his naked anime statues because his girlfriend told him to, the guy who was selling his toys because he was getting a Bimmer, and every other eBay fucker ever. You can read the executive summary here, where I originally heard about the auction.
Monday, September 12, 2005
AOL search:
adele arakawa loves piss drinking
I was not aware of this fact about our local news anchor. Or was someone just hoping that if they made a search about it, that it'd make it come true?
adele arakawa loves piss drinking
I was not aware of this fact about our local news anchor. Or was someone just hoping that if they made a search about it, that it'd make it come true?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
I haven't had much to say about the hurricane, partly because I've been in a shitstorm of my own at work recently (which I'm sure you'll hear about soon), but mainly because even I have a hard time being funny about something like that. I don't possess the comic genius that the people who write for The Onion have. I found their commentary on the whole racism finding/looting issue to be particularly amusing, although it was all good stuff.
Speaking of the racism in the media thing, I found the response to that kind of irritating. Not that there isn't validity in what was being said, because there certainly was. That's just a microcosm of a bigger picture, though, the bigger picture being that this is a county with a lot of racism in its veins. I mean, shit, it took nearly 200 years for the "land of the free" to get to the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s, and it was only 40 or so years ago that this took place. Furthermore, once we went through that, a lot of people just declared "we're good" and now we refuse to really deal with it. So, the microcosms are a problem, and need to be handled. But reacting in a typical liberal manner by getting all hot under the collar over the smaller points but not the bigger picture isn't too helpful. Actually, what's not helpful is sitting around and blogging about it, instead of doing something. Sitting around and bitching never got anything done. Sure, it's fun and makes you feel all smart and shit, but it's useless. Deeds not words. And yes, before you start in, my entire life is about sitting around and bitching. But if I've said it once, I've said it a million times: I am not an example for anyone to be following. I'm putting you on notice, world: STOP BEING LIKE ME. Do as I say, not as I do.
One of the only things I had to say was about Michael Moore's useless "open letter" to Bush, in which he stretched things to try and blame Bush for the hurricane itself. Although, yes, you can definitely blame Bush for a good deal of the aftermath, Bush doesn't control the weather and we had big hurricanes before Bush and his "environmental policy" as I pointed out in the guestbook (speaking of which, a big thanks to Nikki for being the first person in nearly a month to make a comment there that wasn't a complete fucking retard, i.e. Markus or KoldKadavr). Moore has come out with more commentary, and this is much, much better. George W. Bush is such a shitty fucking president that you don't need to stretch things to find fault in him and his actions. All you need to do is just lay shit out, calmly and rationally, and maybe it might have some kind of useful impact. Moore is in a position where he's well-known and well-connected enough that he could get some real shit done instead of just ranting and raving. Granted, he's got a reputation to overcome, but he's in about as good a position as anyone on the left.
Speaking of Bush, I like what Kanye West had to say about Bush on an NBC telethon for Katrina relief: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." That's simple, succinct, and true. George Bush doesn't care about black people and a lot of other people, unless of course if they're campaign donors or a photo op (and even then, of course, he just cares about their money or how they can help him look better). It sucks to have to go to the race card, but if that was a bunch of white people down there, you can bet things would be a bit different.
Speaking of the people down there, what the fuck is wrong with a lot of the people who stuck around, other than they're idiots? Look, I know that there were probably a lot of people who genuinely didn't have the means to get out of there, and I'm not coming down on them. But I've been reading about the people who they are still working to convince to get out of New Orleans. Incompetent FEMA director Michael Brown commented that the people down there are partially responsible for their fate, and when it comes to the stubborn fuckers who just plain wouldn't leave, he's right (but that's about where it ends for getting behind Brown unless if you're going to sodomize him). The people who refused to leave, and who continue to refuse, are making a difficult situation even worse for everyone else involved.
Dennis Hastert made some comments on rebuilding New Orleans, and although who knows what that cocksucker was really getting at, he's on the right track. Whose goddamn idea was it to build a major city below sea level? I know hindsight is 20/20, but man, was that ever a dumb goddamn idea. Okay, sure, had the levees been kept up and furthermore upgraded to handle category 4 and 5 storms, maybe that would have prevented this. Maybe; there's no real way of knowing. But yeah, the levee system combined with geography was just a disaster waiting to happen.
Speaking of disasters, this country is the most unfuckingprepared place on earth to handle shit that comes our way. 9/11, this... Jesus. And again, you can put a lot of the blame on Bush. But there's plenty of blame to go around over many years as well. And 'ya know, a lot of the rest of the world, Osama or otherwise, has gotta be laughing and salivating over this. The self-anointed greatest country on earth, and we are in a constant state of reacting as opposed to acting and preventing.
Michael Chertoff, head of Homeland Security, has been in the news quite a but since he's ostensibly in charge of things in, I dunno, some way or other. Seeing that guy has always kinda bothered me. Something just looks.... wrong with him. I couldn't pin my finger on it, though, until just the other day: he looks like a man dying of AIDS. Sorry to have to go there, but that's what I thought, and I felt the need to share it with you. Besides, it's been over the requisite 22.3 years or whatever, so we can make jokes about AIDS.
Note to CNN: if you're going to post a story involving naked teenage girls that in the end is very, very depressing, for god's sake, make sure those girls are hot. Take a picture of someone else's kids if you have to. But give me something when I'm reading an article that depressing. There's no journalistic integrity anywhere these days, so fucking get on it.
I have to hand it to Shaq Attack. We already know that he's hard-core, joining forces with the police to hunt pedophiles, but now he's working, actually working, to help Katrina victims. No jokes here, that's just impressive.
Okay, that's about it for now. I could go on and on about what a disgrace the initial response was, and how badly we fucked up both before, during, and after the hurricane, but it's all been said a million times everywhere else, and furthermore it's all pretty obvious. I know that hasn't stopped me before, but I'm just not in the mood. And in the end, it's just not funny. Again, unless, of course, if you're The Onion.
Speaking of the racism in the media thing, I found the response to that kind of irritating. Not that there isn't validity in what was being said, because there certainly was. That's just a microcosm of a bigger picture, though, the bigger picture being that this is a county with a lot of racism in its veins. I mean, shit, it took nearly 200 years for the "land of the free" to get to the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s, and it was only 40 or so years ago that this took place. Furthermore, once we went through that, a lot of people just declared "we're good" and now we refuse to really deal with it. So, the microcosms are a problem, and need to be handled. But reacting in a typical liberal manner by getting all hot under the collar over the smaller points but not the bigger picture isn't too helpful. Actually, what's not helpful is sitting around and blogging about it, instead of doing something. Sitting around and bitching never got anything done. Sure, it's fun and makes you feel all smart and shit, but it's useless. Deeds not words. And yes, before you start in, my entire life is about sitting around and bitching. But if I've said it once, I've said it a million times: I am not an example for anyone to be following. I'm putting you on notice, world: STOP BEING LIKE ME. Do as I say, not as I do.
One of the only things I had to say was about Michael Moore's useless "open letter" to Bush, in which he stretched things to try and blame Bush for the hurricane itself. Although, yes, you can definitely blame Bush for a good deal of the aftermath, Bush doesn't control the weather and we had big hurricanes before Bush and his "environmental policy" as I pointed out in the guestbook (speaking of which, a big thanks to Nikki for being the first person in nearly a month to make a comment there that wasn't a complete fucking retard, i.e. Markus or KoldKadavr). Moore has come out with more commentary, and this is much, much better. George W. Bush is such a shitty fucking president that you don't need to stretch things to find fault in him and his actions. All you need to do is just lay shit out, calmly and rationally, and maybe it might have some kind of useful impact. Moore is in a position where he's well-known and well-connected enough that he could get some real shit done instead of just ranting and raving. Granted, he's got a reputation to overcome, but he's in about as good a position as anyone on the left.
Speaking of Bush, I like what Kanye West had to say about Bush on an NBC telethon for Katrina relief: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." That's simple, succinct, and true. George Bush doesn't care about black people and a lot of other people, unless of course if they're campaign donors or a photo op (and even then, of course, he just cares about their money or how they can help him look better). It sucks to have to go to the race card, but if that was a bunch of white people down there, you can bet things would be a bit different.
Speaking of the people down there, what the fuck is wrong with a lot of the people who stuck around, other than they're idiots? Look, I know that there were probably a lot of people who genuinely didn't have the means to get out of there, and I'm not coming down on them. But I've been reading about the people who they are still working to convince to get out of New Orleans. Incompetent FEMA director Michael Brown commented that the people down there are partially responsible for their fate, and when it comes to the stubborn fuckers who just plain wouldn't leave, he's right (but that's about where it ends for getting behind Brown unless if you're going to sodomize him). The people who refused to leave, and who continue to refuse, are making a difficult situation even worse for everyone else involved.
Dennis Hastert made some comments on rebuilding New Orleans, and although who knows what that cocksucker was really getting at, he's on the right track. Whose goddamn idea was it to build a major city below sea level? I know hindsight is 20/20, but man, was that ever a dumb goddamn idea. Okay, sure, had the levees been kept up and furthermore upgraded to handle category 4 and 5 storms, maybe that would have prevented this. Maybe; there's no real way of knowing. But yeah, the levee system combined with geography was just a disaster waiting to happen.
Speaking of disasters, this country is the most unfuckingprepared place on earth to handle shit that comes our way. 9/11, this... Jesus. And again, you can put a lot of the blame on Bush. But there's plenty of blame to go around over many years as well. And 'ya know, a lot of the rest of the world, Osama or otherwise, has gotta be laughing and salivating over this. The self-anointed greatest country on earth, and we are in a constant state of reacting as opposed to acting and preventing.
Michael Chertoff, head of Homeland Security, has been in the news quite a but since he's ostensibly in charge of things in, I dunno, some way or other. Seeing that guy has always kinda bothered me. Something just looks.... wrong with him. I couldn't pin my finger on it, though, until just the other day: he looks like a man dying of AIDS. Sorry to have to go there, but that's what I thought, and I felt the need to share it with you. Besides, it's been over the requisite 22.3 years or whatever, so we can make jokes about AIDS.
Note to CNN: if you're going to post a story involving naked teenage girls that in the end is very, very depressing, for god's sake, make sure those girls are hot. Take a picture of someone else's kids if you have to. But give me something when I'm reading an article that depressing. There's no journalistic integrity anywhere these days, so fucking get on it.
I have to hand it to Shaq Attack. We already know that he's hard-core, joining forces with the police to hunt pedophiles, but now he's working, actually working, to help Katrina victims. No jokes here, that's just impressive.
Okay, that's about it for now. I could go on and on about what a disgrace the initial response was, and how badly we fucked up both before, during, and after the hurricane, but it's all been said a million times everywhere else, and furthermore it's all pretty obvious. I know that hasn't stopped me before, but I'm just not in the mood. And in the end, it's just not funny. Again, unless, of course, if you're The Onion.
Speaking of Demotivators, I just saw that they've released four designs from the upcoming '06 collection. They're pretty funny. I, of course, have to get behind Inspiration because, yeah. The best thing, though was the "Perfect for" section on Beauty.
Google search:
illegal underage passwords
The internet has officially passed me by. I didn't even know that passwords were considered to have an "age," nonetheless that they could be underage. "We're gonna give you this password, but you'll get arrested if you use it before it's 18."
Okay, look, I know what the Googler was after, but I just found the poor choice of search phrase to be amusing. But here's what really pisses me off about this search, though: I got it twice from the SAME FUCKING GUY. Once at about 9 PM last night, and again at 1 AM. There's a chance that this asshole was searching for access to kiddie porn sites for FOUR FUCKING HOURS on ONE fucking search phrase. Man, now that's dedication to a cause. A bad cause, of course, but still dedication. Either that, or, stupidity. Taking the sickness, which is obvious even to me, out of the equation, you're a fucking retard if you spend four hours doing the same search without getting some kind of clue that it's not working.
I guess I can take something positive out of this. Sure, looking for what he was looking for is not good, but at least he wasn't out molesting any children. Well, at least for those four hours. And also, he apparently wasn't having any luck finding anything, which is good. It's also kinda funny to me that he ended up here twice. If you end up at my site twice in four hours, for whatever reason, you're a failure in life.
"Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots."
-Demotivators
illegal underage passwords
The internet has officially passed me by. I didn't even know that passwords were considered to have an "age," nonetheless that they could be underage. "We're gonna give you this password, but you'll get arrested if you use it before it's 18."
Okay, look, I know what the Googler was after, but I just found the poor choice of search phrase to be amusing. But here's what really pisses me off about this search, though: I got it twice from the SAME FUCKING GUY. Once at about 9 PM last night, and again at 1 AM. There's a chance that this asshole was searching for access to kiddie porn sites for FOUR FUCKING HOURS on ONE fucking search phrase. Man, now that's dedication to a cause. A bad cause, of course, but still dedication. Either that, or, stupidity. Taking the sickness, which is obvious even to me, out of the equation, you're a fucking retard if you spend four hours doing the same search without getting some kind of clue that it's not working.
I guess I can take something positive out of this. Sure, looking for what he was looking for is not good, but at least he wasn't out molesting any children. Well, at least for those four hours. And also, he apparently wasn't having any luck finding anything, which is good. It's also kinda funny to me that he ended up here twice. If you end up at my site twice in four hours, for whatever reason, you're a failure in life.
"Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots."
-Demotivators
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I think one of the most amusing things about life is how all women hate eachother. "No we don't!" Yes, you do.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Not affiliated with The Greatest Grill of All Time
If there's one thing that can be said about me, it's that I hate bumperstickers. If there are two things that can be said about it, it's that I hate bumperstickers, and that I'm a hypocrite. As such, after way too many fucking years, I present to you the greatest bumper sticker of all time.
Real men love Jesus, indeed.
Real men love Jesus, indeed.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Yahoo search:
he'll to fuck a virgin in the ass with out ripping your dick
You see, this is why I hate guys. Only a guy would be so selfish, so self-absorbed, and just so downright fucking stupid as to be concerned about ripping his body parts when fucking someone else in the ass. Maybe I'm not interpreting this search result properly, especially since it's only marginally coherent, but I would in no way be surprised if I was dead on.
Speaking of getting fucked in the ass, Chief Justice Scalia, anyone?
he'll to fuck a virgin in the ass with out ripping your dick
You see, this is why I hate guys. Only a guy would be so selfish, so self-absorbed, and just so downright fucking stupid as to be concerned about ripping his body parts when fucking someone else in the ass. Maybe I'm not interpreting this search result properly, especially since it's only marginally coherent, but I would in no way be surprised if I was dead on.
Speaking of getting fucked in the ass, Chief Justice Scalia, anyone?
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