I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I can't stand Christianity and I can't stand a lot of what Christians stand for, but they make some neat fucking buildings. That pic is of the Catedral de Segovia is Segovia, Spain. As much as I hate religion in general and Christianity in specific, I have to give them mad points for so often going balls-out in the architecture regime. Worship is stupid, but at least when they set their minds to make a house of worship, they make a fucking house of worship. Many churches and cathedrals would be so worthy of God if He actually existed.

If anybody should be called in for jury duty, it's Bush. Busy running the country? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, it's gotta be so tough having Karl Rove tell me what to do all the time. He's gotta be mentally drained from those really difficult speeches about the war in Iraq that were given to tough houses of military personnel. And frequent, extended vacations at the ranch? Dude.

And no, I did not just post a couple of BBC articles to try and regain some street cred. I know that is long since gone, and I was actually reading the Beeb earlier. So again, fuck off.

Mountain Don't

This is pretty typical of this country. We have a bunch of fat-ass fucking kids in this country, so the big problem must be soda pop. It can't be the foods we eat or the over-indulgent lifestyles that we have. Or how about the fact that a lot of fat kids have something in common: fat parents. Nah, it's gotta be pop. Now, I'm not saying that maybe pop isn't part of the larger problem, but that's just it -- there's a larger problem. But to think that pop alone is a huge issue, I've gotta call bullshit.

I've been drinking that stuff since I was pretty young, and except for a few isolated times where I tried to cut back, I usually have at least a can a day. I won't drink diet, because that stuff is swill that belongs under the same column as Budweiser. And somehow, I'm not a huge tub of shit. You can make the argument that I'm a tub of shit, for sure, but not a huge one. Look, if I didn't put on weight in the past month or so from drinking pop, then it can't be that big of a deal. With as hard as I was hitting it at work for awhile, and with how little sleep I allow myself, I was chugging a lot of pop. I have this box in my office for empty cans that I emptied out today, and it was almost nothing but Mountain Dew and Mountain Dew Code Red. I remember that there was one point where I was even double-fisting it (sounds hot, I know) with a Dr. Pepper in one hand and a Mountain Dew in the other. I was just weighed this past week, and I'm at 120, which is just fine for my small stature.

As per usual, I'm generalizing for comedic effect (as if you hadn't been warned), and I know it's more complicated. But once I found a way to work "double fisting" into a post, I had to do it. Bring on those Google hits.

But anyway, back to the real issue. As always, we take a big problem, find one small part of it, and blame that for everything. Kids shooting up the schools? Must be video games. The economy is shit? Must be China's monetary policy. Of course, the reason these issues are focused on is because there is some group that has an agenda against item X, so they'll find an excuse to push that agenda. And, as such, we never get anything real accomplished in this country.

When I hear about non-military people getting kidnapped, killed, what have you, in Iraq, I think part of me initially feels sympathy for them. Believe it or not (and I barely believe it myself), there is a bit of humanity left in me. That fades pretty quickly, though, once actual thought kicks in, and I think, hey, if you go over to Iraq, you should know damn well what you're getting yourself into. If you have a choice on going there, then, well, I can't have much sympathy for you when things go awry. Things are further compounded when I hear that people who get themselves into trouble are associated with some kind of Christian outfit. It's at this point that I'm pretty much rooting for bad stuff to happen to them.

All four men appeared frightened.

Gee, I wouldn't expect that. Thanks for the hard-hitting coverage. I know, I know, I'm the one continually reading and linking CNN in the first place. Fuck off.

The group has claimed that the kidnapped men, from the Chicago-based Christian Peacemaker Teams...

Now there's the potential for me to feel even less sympathy. If anyone from this organization is in Iraq who came from Chicago, I just have to ask: you left Chicago... For Iraq? I know it can get mighty cold and shit in the winter and all, but it's still fucking Chicago. Stick around and hit a mall or something.

The Christian activists... had been repeatedly warned by Iraqi and Western security officials that they were taking a grave risk by moving about Baghdad without bodyguards.

Wow. At this point, I'm not saying that you're asking for it, except that I am. Even though I was basically saying that just by you being there to begin with.

The Christian activists -- Tom Fox, 54, of Clear Brook, Virginia; Norman Kember, 74, of London; James Loney, 41, of Toronto; and Harmeet Singh Sooden, 32, of Canada...

I wonder if Harmeet lives in downtown Canada.

One thing that really pissed me off while reading this article was the name of the group responsible for this round of kidnappings. They call themselves the "Swords of Righteousness Brigade." It wasn't so much just that name in particular as that it was part of a general trend of lame-ass fucking names that these groups give themselves. You guys are running around with guns and bombs and killing people, and the best you can come up with is a name that sounds like something a bunch of eight-year-olds would come up with for their Pop Warner football team? All the transgressions were made up for by one group, however:

The men were kidnapped at the same place where Giuliana Sgrena, a reporter for the Italian newspaper Il Manifesto, was seized February 4 and held for a month by a group calling itself Mujahedeen Without Borders.

Mujahedeen Without Borders? Holy crap. That is fucking hilarious.

This is pretty disgusting. First Amendment stuff, blah blah blah, that's all obvious. But here at Fe, we go deeper. Like, for instance, looking at how the school should be happy as it is that these kids can even fucking read to begin with considering that it's Tennessee. And since everyone down there is fucking their sister anyway, wouldn't it be a good idea for them to know about birth control?

I don't really comment much on Iraq or politics or any of that nonsense anymore since it was pointless back when I thought that maybe it wasn't, but I still found this to be kinda interesting. It's not some powerless Democrat talking, it's not some liberal mouthpiece saying it. No; it's the guy who was supposed to be our guy in Iraq. It reminds me of something that Jon Stewart said on The Daily Show when the Abu Ghraib thing was big, something to the effect of the torture chambers are "really not shut down so much as under new management."

Okay, now back to talking about cars, porn, and video games.

Well, fuck. It has not been a good couple of weeks in the romance department. First Aeris gets killed on me, and then this a couple of days ago. I guess I can live with Danica being taken, though, since all the indications I'm getting is that she's a bitch. Which makes her entertaining to watch and read about, but maybe not deal with on a day-to-day basis. I'm still bent about Aeris, though. Damn that game for playing out the exact same way as it has for millions of others.

Since we sometimes work off of a theme, and since that theme tends to oftentimes be on a particular type of story despite half-assed attempts to steer it otherwise, I may as well give an update on Debra Lafave. I still get the occasional Google hit off this woman (including a ton today, and, in typical fashion, thanks to a misspelling) and she's in the news again after striking a plea bargain to stay out of jail.

Now, believe it or not, even I can see what she did isn't right. Sure, that kid is, like, the luckiest fucking kid in his class, but she's obviously an adult and should still know better. But how about that kid? How fucking stupid do you have to be to tattle on this woman? Even if someone figures it out, you bloody deny it. For most guys, poontang is never guaranteed, especially not with decently attractive older teachers. Even David Lee Roth will tell you that.

I know, I know; I'm wading in the shallow end of the pool as always. But in this case, it's guys we're talking about, and I have at least a little bit of experience in being a guy. Maybe if it had gone on it would have some deep emotional impact later on in life, blah blah. As opposed to the end of the affair and the media circus, which have probably done no damage at all. And besides, he's a guy. It's not like he was ever going to mature emotionally anyway, just like all the rest of us, so there wasn't much to damage in the first place. All horny teen boys give a shit about is getting laid, and he was getting it. But the dumb fuck went and helped shut off the tap. So really, upon reflection, I think everyone gets what they deserve in this case, unless if that kid has found other resources.

Hey.

Google search:

BMW 325Ci how to get the fucking tires off

Sorry, dude. I only know the procedure to get tires off of a 330i; things are vastly different since you have the coupe or convertible with the smaller engine. Seriously, people this fucking retarded don't deserve to be driving, nonetheless driving a Bimmer. And regardless of entitlement, they definitly shouldn't be driving.

But I'm not bitter or anything

Maxim magazine apparently has an article on the “25 greatest short dudes of all time” in its December issue. I got sick of Maxim when I turned 13 and have mocked the publication ever since, but do I now have to give them some big ups for trying to help out my kind?

The magazine, in its December issue, claims to be helping women “begin a long overdue fight against their genetically determined shallowness when choosing a partner.”

Thanks, guys. That should be a real big help, because I know that women really read and pay attention to what Maxim tells them. Then again, I'm sure plenty of women pay attention to shit like the "101 Ways to Please Your Man" columns in Cosmo and similar drivel, so you never know. But really, if Samantha dating a short guy on an epsisode of Sex and the City didn't change anything, nothing ever will.

Then there's the fact that Yoda made the list. Yoda is a fucking puppet, i.e. not a real person, and he made the list. I could beat the shit out of Yoda because lightsabers, the force, and Yoda himself are all not real (sorry to break this to some of you). Yoda's inclusion in the list tells you everything you need to know about changing those shallow attitudes.

"All a man needs is food, sex, and silence. Feed me, fuck me, shut the fuck up."
- Chris Rock pointing out that there are only three things, not 101, necessary to please your man

ETP posted a link to this a compilation of critics' quotes on the new 50 Cent movie a couple of days back. In the interest of being me and maintaining the low standards of this 'blog, I'm ripping off the link. However, I will go against principle and add some value. That "Critical Mess" feature is a regular "column" (not sure if you can call pulling other peoples' words together and Photoshopping them to a movie poster a column) on Movie Poop Shoot, View Askiew's entertainment news site. An archive of other installments of Critical Mess is contained here, and there is some pretty amusing stuff in there.

SeVIIen

The Final Fantasy game series is one of those series that's achieved such status with us that any particular installment can be referred to simply by number. After about eight years, I finally sat down and started playing VII a few weeks ago. I had been meaning to buy and furthermore play this game for the longest fucking time, but just never got around to it. The same goes for VIII, which I have owned for a couple of years but have not put significant effort into. Yeah, the game series has legendary status with me, even though I've only played one of them all the way through (that being X). I kinda feel like I've actually already played VII since I watched ETP play so much of it our freshman year in the dorms, though. The sad thing is, with as much as I watched him play that fucking game, there was still quite a bit of it that I didn't witness. That kid was a fucking machine playing that game. Case in point: Thursday.

I've made reference to Thursday before. Searching through my archives, though, I couldn't find an instance of where I actually talked about Thursday, though. So get ready for another boring story of ours from back in the day.

This dipshit friend of ours was actually the one who first bought VII. His reason for buying it? "It's three discs!" But anyway, after a couple of days, he realized that he wasn't going to get any work done if he had VII sitting there in his room to play (despite this realization, this kid never finished college). ETP, on the other hand, can balance a schedule that includes heavy video game time along with skipping classes that he already knows everything in anyway. The kid is that good. So he set off on a VII quest.

One morning, not surprisingly at this juncture a Thursday morning, I got up. I don't know if ETP was already playing when I got up, but before I left for my four-hour chem lab, he was at it. Upon returning to our room from lab, he was still playing. After awhile, I left for work, with him still going. I was at work for at least another few hours, and when I got home, he was still playing. I can't remember what time he stopped that night, but it turned out to be a 14-hour marathon. He took time out for dinner (I think) and to hit the can, but that was it. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but trust me -- Thursday was fucking epic. How could it not be if out of all the Thursdays throughout history, that is the only one known simply as "Thursday"?

I'm not in Thursday territory yet. Shit, Thursday alone is nearly half the time I've put into playing the game thus far. I'm at just over 30 hours by the game clock (so a bit more in real time), and have just broken into the second disc. Of course, I don't quite have the free time to be logging 14-hour FF days, despite my rigorous social schedule. Since I've been busting ass at work and have been ordered to take some time off along with the upcoming Thanksgiving break, there's a chance I might get in some good hours in the coming days. Even still, I don't know if I can ever match Thursday.

I've been playing it off and on, sometimes going a week without touching it, then picking it up and playing until well into the morning. That'll happen with those fucking games. I've been hitting it decently hard the past couple of days since I finally had some time, plus I've just been pushing it so I can get to the part where Aeris dies. For anyone who has played the game already, you know what I'm talking about. For anyone who hasn't played the game but was thinking about it, just consider ruining part of the plot my gift to you.

And no, I wasn't trying to get to this particular part because I'm an asshole and I like it when the good guys get killed off, it's because I've been dreading that part and I just wanted to get it over with. I cared for that character a great deal, mainly just because she liked me (er, well, my video-game alter ego) for no reason whatsoever other than the plot demanded it. That's appealing to a guy like me who isn't going to be able to get real interest from a woman even with significant effort which I'm not even willing to put in. Sad? Yes. But have you read anything else here, for fuck's sake? You should know by now if so.

Sure, Tifa is hot and all, and she kicks some ass. But Aeris was cute and friendly and on top of that zero-effort, and that's just grand. So yeah, I liked Aeris, and now she's fucking dead, leaving us to move on with the rest of the miserable affair. Of course, thanks to ETP, I pretty much know a lot of what goes down and how it ends. I mean, beyond the fact that you win, which is a given with any FF game if you just play it long enough. I know some of the salient plot points, like how you're not real but actually a dream or some stupid shit like that. And I know that Sephiroth has wings for legs, can't wear his... Ah-DI-das! To make sure we're clear, the fact that you now know this is ETP's fault, not mine. And yeah, I've killed all this time playing a game where I know what happens, and I will proceed to kill even more time over the coming weeks. But as they say, life is a journey, not a destination, or some other such shit. Actually, the game is just fucking fun, even if you know what happens.

One of the more entertaining things about the more recent FF games is getting to name some or all of the characters in your party. Many just get left alone out of respect for the character, like Tifa. But many just demand name changes. Like Barret; he has to be named something to do with Mr. T because if you put some gold chains on that guy, that's who he is. Other characters have gotten names in the past that are now legendary, like the main female character from VIII, who will forever be known as Caitlin. This came about because that one dumbass I mentioned who first bought VII was for awhile obsessed with this girl named Caitlin, and as such we gave the character that name out of mockery (and also because ETP wasn't going to leave her name as Rhino).

For my VII quest, I just named the main character after me because I'm gay (I thought about naming him Link, though). Tifa and Aeris got left alone, and Mr. T is Mr. T. Cid got named "El Cid" because, again, he has to be. For Red XIII I couldn't come up with anything clever, so I just called him "Dogg." It was a couple of weeks later that I realized that I should have named him Raw Dog, but oh well. Vincent is such a fucking bag that the only name I could give him was Dooshe. In his case, though, I decided it needs to be pronounced Doo-shay. I haven't gotten Muffie yet, but that's obviously what she'll be called if I come across her. And Cait Sith? What the fuck is that thing? Could be meat, could be cake. I think it's... Meatcake!

I don't have the knack for naming characters like ETP does, though. There was one in Xenogears (or at least, I'm pretty sure it was Xenogears) that he named Fuckwad because, well, it looked like a fuckwad. Then there was the Guardian Diabolus from VIII, who is known to us as Asshole after ETP got pissed over how hard he was to beat.

As I've mentioned, this will be only the second FF game I've made it through, assuming, of course, that my video game ADHD doesn't kick in like it has with everything else in the past couple of years. Yup, somehow, X is the only one I've gone all the way through, probably because I got it and started playing it as the same time as ETP, thus allowing the whole game to be new to me the first time playing it for myself. Yes, I know, X was a piece of shit, even though, I'm sorry, it wasn't that bad. No, it wasn't that good. No, it wasn't VII or VIII, but both of us still put in our hours. Both of us wasted a bunch of fucking time in the calm plains. Both of us put in the effort to get those stupid ultimate weapons or whatever the fuck they were called. Even if Titus and Yuna were super lame, Auron was a bad-ass. And you, I might add, are the one who bought X-2, not me. Yes, I was the one who suckered you into it and I'm a bad person for that, but you still didn't have to do it.

Okay, now I can get back to talking to the rest of you. Should I get through it, this will also be the first game I've played all the way through in many years. I think the last one I didn't get bored with was Chrono Cross, which if you haven't played it, is a solid fucking game.

Shit, I've been talking about VII all this time, and I haven't even gotten to discussing the soundtrack. Talk about fucking epic. VIII is right up there with it, maybe even surpassing it. I may not have made it through either game at this point, but I sure as hell have played the shit out of those soundtracks. And since the games have come up in this post, Xenogears and Cross also have great soundtracks. All worth the money even though they're somewhat pricey, and don't be an ass and get bootlegs. This coming from the kid who hasn't actually purchased VII, but would if it were fucking in stock when he's looking to buy.

Correction: I just put in an order, and it should be on its way soon.

Alright, so that's really about it. As you may have surmised, the only real purpose of this post was so that I could use that title, which, yes, I have just been itching to use. That and so that I could update ETP on where I'm at and also allow the two of us to reminisce about the usual stupid bullshit without even having to talk to one another. Not like ETP gives that much of a shit about my progress; he has his own life. And by his own life, I mean Law and Order: SVU.

Yahoo search:

fuck you for tracking me your a fucking asshole my life sucks enough with out your fucking with it

Holy crap. This is another instance where you may want to seek some professional (legal and/or mental health) help instead of telling a bloody search engine your problems.

Okay, look. I'm not completely insensitive to the undescribably awful situation you're dealing with. But your daughter didn't kill herself because of the internet. She killed herself because she obviously had some serious problems. If someone is screwed up enough in the head or just has enough things wrong in their life to kill themselves, they're going to do it, help or no help.

Suzanne Gonzales seemed to have everything going for her.

Clearly she didn't, and I'm not trying to be flippant here. It's this kind of childish mentality about mental health that allows shit like this to be so prevalent. Maybe if we spent some time taking this shit seriously, these numbers would start going down.

Suicide is now the third leading cause of death among young people, the CDC reports.

On the other hand, a lot of kids are really fucking stupid, and thinning the herd might not be such a bad idea. Look, I had to go smart-ass at some point, ok?

"That's not pro-choice," Mike Gonzales said of the site. "That's brainwashing. And they are not being held responsible."

Held responsible? For what? If someone is helping procure illegal items, that's one thing. But just talking about shit isn't a crime. All this scapegoating and making excuses can't be helping the healing process. I know, I know, trying to find explanations and place blame like this is part of the grieving process, but I'm just tired of this bullshit.

Pat Robertson: retard.

GTherapy

Google search:

i hate you dad for cheating

I'm sorry, but Google hits like this are hillarious. To me, there's just an amusing sadness to doing Google searches on your fucked up life. Kinda like the girl who wanted to kill her boyfriend. I don't know if these people are looking for answers, they just need to talk to someone. Since Google is trying to take over the world anyway, they oughta start up a mental health service.

Yahoo search:

balkan super fuck

I don't know why, but I think this needs to be made into something -- a videogame or whatever, but something.

Google search:

texas is like a retarded kid with too much self-esteem

That's funny. The fact that Texas is being made fun of is good enough, but I really like the notion of an over-confident retard.

Or maybe I could just forego the whole buying a wife thing (since there's nothing creepy about that anyway) if I'd just get out of the fucking house and show off the car. Even with that, though, there's the problem that I want the car to be able to do pretty much everything for me, and as capable as it is, it's not that capable.

I'm thinking more and more that a mail-order bride might be the way to go for me. I am retarded socially; this we know. But when it comes to buying shit? I am on it. I'm not going to be an abusive fuck-off like some of the stellar individuals mentioned in that article, but as anyone can tell, I'm still not going to be the greatest husband, either. At least I look good on paper, though. She can brag to everyone about being with an engineer that makes good money, the house, the Bimmer, blah blah blah. No one she knows ever has to have anything to do with me, since they're on the other side of the fucking world. Image is all that matters to women anyway, right?

I don't exactly have $16K to be blowing right now, though, so this too is gonna have to wait. But of course, about a year ago, the whole car thing was a "bullshit pipe dream," but since money was involved I was of course able to figure it out. So like I said, this is a solid idea. A co-worker was telling me that meeting women who don't speak much English is a good way to go if you're shy, so that fits in nicely with all this. Of course, one could tell me that I just need to meet some foreign girls in more traditional ways that don't involve spending a bunch of bloody money, but that'd involve socializing and that's definitely not for me.

Lego Death Star, anyone? Should go nice with the cool but also too expensive Star Destroyer.

Sets like those aside, Lego is in such a sorry fucking place right now. I was out looking for Legos this week -- for once not for me but for someone else -- and I didn't have a ton of time, so I was only able to hit one store. I know that Lego has been in a shit state for years, but I was like, there's always at least one decent set, right? So I should be able to find something. Well, there pretty much was just one decent set in the whole fucking store (one of the Harry Potter sets). Everything else I saw made me wanna vomit. Like what the fuck is that Dino Attack shit? I didn't give those sets a close look because I didn't want to know. And then there's the Holocaust that is the Knight's Tale series. Several years ago they discontinued the castle lineup, and I was pissed. Then, they brought it back under the Knight's Tale moniker, and I was pissed. They should have just left it dead. The same goes for the pirates stuff. Ten to 15 years ago, that shit was bad-ass. Now it's resurrected as part of their 4+ lineup, and it fucks ass.

Some of the entertainment property-based sets are cool. A lot of the Star Wars ones are good, and I don't even like Star Wars that much. Some of the Harry Potter ones look decent, even though I've never read one of the books (because I'm not a child, even though in some ways I look and act like a child) or seen the movies (which I hear are decent). That should tell you something right there: the only Legos I can really get into now are for shit that I don't even like. It's like Jews playing with Nazi Legos, only way less extreme.

Actually, fuck. How cool would that be? Holocaust Legos would go great with our already planned line of September 11th toys. As I've mentioned before, I will call my toy company Depraved Indifference Toys. Our slogan? Depraved Indifference Toys: Making a Killing off of People Making a Killing.

Okay, I'm getting off track, as per usual. Back to why Lego has become the Trent Reznor of the toy industry. Okay, that's not really a fair comparison; both used to be really cool but now mostly suck, but Trent was never that cool, nor did he inspire anything other than screaming. And, okay, "really cool" is a stretch, even back in the day for Trent. But yeah, inspiration. Lego seems to have none of that anymore. It's just a bunch of stupid crap with way too many pre-fabbed pieces. I knew something was fucked up when I saw huge boxes with a piece count of, like, 12. The reason being that more and more of every set was constructed out of pre-fabbed plastic pieces and not built out of bricks by the user. That's... Fucking bullshit. Once I first noticed it, I was like, it's over. Lego will never be what it used to be.

Don't even get me started on Bionicle.

Like I said, though, there's some stuff that's decent, or even really good. There is a ton of train stuff that I'd love to get, but a lot of it is just bloody expensive. I totally need the Shinkansen and The El. And a lot of the roll your own train stuff is cool, too.

Some of the City stuff is OK, but not anywhere near as cool as it used to be. Like the fire station? Weak. Fucking. Sauce. Some of the construction stuff might be fun, but I need to get a closer look at all of it.

For some reason, I never got into the Technic stuff, but I should have. I really need this for some reason. ETP and BOETP got me the Ferrari F1 Racer, and that's BA. The only thing that's not cool is that it's Ferrari, enemy of the rest of Formula 1, including BMW. So it's still cool, I just can't feel good about it.

So yeah, there's a couple 'a sets that can float, but for the most part, the genre sucks. Some stuff has potential, but for some reason, fucking up is just in Lego's blood now. Like I just saw that they have a Viking line (which the store says is "not available in this country") which could be cool if this was 15 years ago. For me, that's when it was on. All sorts of cool shit was out. There were fun, interesting sets that didn't have a bunch of lame crap or too many pre-fabbed pieces. Going back to the mid-80s or so there was also some hard-core shit, but I unfortunately don't have much from that era.

The best set I've got? Hands down, the Black Seas Barracuda. I've got some really good sets, but this one still easily rises about the rest. This motherfucker has cannons that actually fire. I'd imagine they stopped making the cannons that could really shoot after not too long for predictable reasons -- stupid kids. Oh, and the Barracuda is big. The only ship that came close was the Skull's Eye Schooner, which I don't have but have always wanted to get my hands on if I could find one sealed. It might have been bigger and had some cooler features, but I'm convinced that it wasn't as neat as the Barracuda because I don't have one.

I have no conclusion for this, other than it's never going to be good again.

I knew when I saw a headline about Hillary Düff on tech news site The Register that there had to be something funny behind it.

I meant to comment on this a couple of days ago and totally spaced it. But it's official: George Takei cannot get any cooler. I've always loved George Takei because, as I see it, he's the anti-Shatner. William Fucking Shatner is what he is -- he serves his purpose, and he can be quite entertaining, whether laughing with him or at him. But through and through, he's a fucking douchebag. The Shat would clearly be nothing without Star Trek, and he has a definite disdain for that. When he makes fun of the fans, it's not just in jest -- there's a streak of malice in it. Now, as we all know, Star Trek dork needs to be made fun of, but there's a right way and a wrong way to do it if you're Shatner. And you know, if you're going to reject what made you a star, for fuck's sake, just separate yourself from it. Don't start writing some pathetic novels where Kirk is still alive.

Takei is just the opposite. That guy knows that he wouldn't be where he is without Trek. I'm sure that bugs him from time to time, but as yet, he rolls with it. He accepts it, has fun with it, and lets the fans know he genuinely appreciates them. Back when they were still deciding on what the next series would be (which ultimately ended up being that piece of shit Enterprise), one idea that was floated was doing a Captain Sulu show set on board the Excelsior. I always hated the prequel idea, partly because it was going backwards when everything else had moved forward (at least chronologically... Voyager was a step backwards in many other ways). But I could have gotten on board with a Sulu show. Looking back, the writers probably would have fucked it up, though, but still. Get your shit together and give that man his own show. The guy was cool before, he's even cooler to me now, and he deserves it.

I say give 'em the chair. Not just these guys, I'm talking all frat guys. Quick quiz: what's the difference between a frat guy and a piece of shit? The bucket. Seriously, the kid who died was merely doing us all a favor.