Saturday, February 21, 2004

Hey, at least I'm not as big a loser as Barry. Seriously. That might make me feel better about myself if not for the fact that it doesn't.
Okay, so the past week here was pretty weak. Sad for a site that's already scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality. Perhaps I can make up for it with some new sailor schoolgirl pics? For those of you who could give less than a shit about such things, I've got nothing. Sorry.
Just so long as Georgie still has other things to keep him busy while his people are busy anally raping this country.
Troubles for the ridiculous Do Everything we can to Fuck Public Education No Child Left Behind Act.
Here's a link Matt sent me a few days ago that I've been meaning to get to. Look, people, if you're so desperate to get drunk that you're willing to do this... We can just kill you and get it over with.
More fun stuff in Iraq.
It's okay, at least we found all those weapons of mass destruction to justify the war. Yeah, the war. Remember that thing? Seems like it's kinda going by the wayside in terms of coverage, what with the primaries and all that bullshit. Oh, and the goddamn string of rape charges coming out of CU.

I've been fed up with all this "al Qaeda-like" labeling nonsense for quite sometime now. I just love how there's this implication nowadays that all terrorists must be al Qaeda. Of course, when it's realized that that is an out-and-out lie, they add the "like" suffix to try and weakly tie other terrorists in with bin Laden's group. Of course, since the American populace is so dumb, "like" is good enough for them.

Look, it's not like I'm not saying these aren't a group of guys to worry about, but State put it best by saying that bad guys aren't homogeneous. The "like" bullshit was yet another attempt to link who we're going after, namely Iraq, with the guys we were be going after, namely al Qaeda. You know, the ones who actually attacked us.
C'mon, Ralph - cut us a break here.

Friday, February 20, 2004

Wah wah wah, I can't get my way, wah wah wah. Fuck you, I'm getting my way anyway.

Asshole.

Cocksuckers.
Google search:

"god" AND "talk to google"

I think Google has officially gotten out of hand.
Yahoo search:

borders fucking latinas

First my alma mater, now Borders bookstores? Is there nowhere I can go anymore that isn't hostile to women?

Thursday, February 19, 2004

I avioded playing the earlier Bond games for myriad reasons, chief among them being that I did not want to be one of those stupid asshole frat guys in the dorms. Of course, that was also why I avoided playing Grand Theft Auto, and here we are. Oh, then there's the fact that Bond was a first-person shooter, and I hate those with a passion. No, not because the frat fucks were playing them, but because I find FPSs so utterly boring that I'd rather just pound nails through my dick. The original Wolfenstein was fun for about six seconds, and that's pretty much it. One time, a friend of mine gave me Star Trek: Voyager - Elite Force. I was playing it, having a decent yet unremarkable time, and then after about 20 minutes the game crashed. I never fired it up again.

Where the hell was I going with this? Oh, yeah. Maybe this Bond game will be better.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Bush isn't a statistician? Seriously? Actually, seeing as how statistics is a total bullshit "field" and is completely made up (much like the French language), I wouldn't be surprised if Bush had his PhD in it.

I was a big fan of that 2.6 million jobs number. It shows just how stupid the administration thinks we are and how little respect they have for us (both of which we pretty much deserve). I think the "number crunching" went something like this:

Number cruncher #1: "Hey, how many jobs have been lost since Bush took office?"
Number cruncher #2: "2.2 million."
Number cruncher #1: "Okay, so let's just tell people we're going to get all those back... And another 400 thousand just for good measure. They'll buy that, won't they?"
Number cruncher #2: "Yup."

So much for "Secretary of State Conan O'Brien"

And you wonder why people don't take Canda seriously: they can't take a joke. Seriously, Quebec, I can smell your crotch from where I'm at. Now wash up and quit your crying.

Nine-oh

Oh, and I forgot to mention that The Washington Post has made some changes to their registration policy when posting the Bush article a couple of posts back. Sorry. I don't know why they had to go and fuck things up; it's not like they need to know what my company size is. As such, they still don't know. In fact, all they really know about me is "Other" and "Not applicable." Plus, I live next door to Brenda.
The phrase 'fuck everything' has been irrevocably changed for me for obvious reasons. The Onion managed to bust it out in a highly amusing article this week.

I realized the razor industry was getting out of hand way back when the Mach3 originally came out. I just knew it wouldn't be long before they got fucking ridiculous. "Introducing the Gillette Mach21 - you take one stroke, it takes 21! *Swipe* Done!" We're well on our way with the new four blade rig being hawked by that one ass master in those commercials. As soon as we get the Mach21 and people finally just start piercing their brains, we can pretty much just shut the world down.
Well, Bush, I'm troubled by what an ignorant piece of shit you are. 'Cause we didn't already know my opinion. Also, George, we know you're real proud of yourself for learning a new phrase in the past year - 'activist judges' - but it's time to move on.

Good for San Fran. People are coming from Europe? What are the laws with regards to this over there?
I've had a good past couple of weeks. It's been busy, and this week is kinda fucked up, but good times. The same can't be said for Howard Dean. Even though Dean is gone and Kerry is coming on strong, at least Edwards is still keeping things interesting.

Why the fuck is Kucinich still in the race? I mean, seriously. Someone asked a pertinent question recently: where the fuck is he getting his money from? Even with minimal campaigning, he's still gotta pay staffers and shit like that. Nice to see someone pissing away money on a lost cause. This coming from me.
In other news, Kobe Bryant has decided to go back to college and will be playing for CU. Allegedly.

Christ I hate my fucking alma mater. I've already complained about college athletes before. At least now I have a legitimate reason to hate these stupid fuckers; they're stupid fuckers who are also rapist assholes. Allegedly.

If this is true, this just goes to show you how god damn fucking stupid football players are. I mean, these guys spend a good deal of their time around nothing but other guys. Playing (allegedly), showering, raping. So what do they do when a woman shows up and breaks up the sausage fest? They treat her like shit, and one of them rapes her. Allegedly.

You would never see this shit in engineering. Shit, a woman actually shows up in the wasteland that is the EE wing, we do not treat her poorly, and we most certainly do not allegedly rape her. Sure, to allegedly rape a woman you'd need to understand some of the mechanics of sex, and you'd also have to interact with another person, but those aren't the only reasons we wouldn't do that. We're just not alleged rapist assholes. And we'd treat her right: by leering at her, never talking to her except maybe once a semester while looking at the ground, and scurrying away in shame when we do.

I know, I know. This isn't a fair comparison, seeing as how football players can get women elsewhere. At recruiting parties, for instance, where they also allegedly rape women. What the fuck is that? It just goes to show you that we should once again just kill sex criminals, because there's clearly something fucked up with them. Here we have all these horny, pent up, lonely engineers, who aren't going to hurt anyone. Meanwhile, you have guys who could get pussy without allegedly raping women to get it, yet they still end up doing this shit. There's something fucked up with them, and we should just get rid of them.
God effing damn it. Just what I need, some sort of reason to get excited about baseball again. Because we know where that's going to lead.

Be all that you can be? Yeah, I'm on it.

So I'm on an extended lunch break yesterday, trolling the mall to find someone a birthday present. As I'm on my way to one store, this guy starts talking to me. I fucking hate when this shit happens, especially when it's some transient in the mall when I have a fucking agenda.

As it turns out, this guy is an Army recruiter, out looking for fresh meat. He thought I might still be in school, seeing as how I look like I'm 12, so it was fun to see his surprise when I told him I'd graduated already, and furthermore didn't need the Army to help me pay for school loans. At one point he asked if I knew what the Army was about, and if I'd considered it before. I said I had (which wasn't a total lie; I'd thought about it for maybe 0.68 seconds before dismissing it) but decided against it. Of course, he asks why. "Well, some things are for some people, and some things are not."

That's pretty much the bottom line as to why I won't ever join the military in any capacity. I understand that it's not all about huntin' and killin', and there are lots of other jobs besides being out there in combat. Besides, I'd pretty much get fired if they managed to come across Fe.

I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't rip this guy a new one or something, especially since I hate the troops. Well, like I said a couple of days ago, I'm not mean just for the sake of being mean. Also, we all know what a huge pussy I am when it comes to being around others. I talk a huge game when I'm safe behind my keyboard, but am the limpest dick whenever actual reality shows up. Furthermore, pretty much whenever someone starts talking to me, especially complete strangers, I go into full-on panic mode. I don't care what's going on, I just want them the hell away from me as soon as possible. My "fight or flight" response mechanism is pretty one-sided.

There you have it; the military is really hurting in terms of enlistment. They're so desperate that they're now aimlessly wandering the mall to find people to join. Their desperation is made all the worse by the fact that they're talking to me.

Monday, February 16, 2004

I've complained about soulless cocksuckers on eBay who say stupid shit in their auction descriptions before. Today, I'd like to add the fact that somehow, people never WANT to sell item X, they HAVE to sell it. I'd like to, just once, see an honest eBayer: this is a piece of crap, and I don't want it anymore.

Also, am I the only one who searches for shit on eBay, and immediately after getting search results clicks on "sort by highest price"? I know how it works; what I want is going to be expensive, period. That's just how it is.

There's an auction up on eBay entitled "Large lot of Evangelion Hentai resin figures." The auction description starts out with the guy saying "My girlfriend wants 'em gone, so..."

First off, you are the saddest sack I've found so far today. It's only 2:30 AM, but there's a good chance you'll take the title for Monday. Your silly little girlfriend is insecure about the fact that you look at your naked Asuka and medical fetish Rei "that way," and so she brings down the hammer. Being the biggest pussy you can be, they're on their way out.

Second of all, you need to do something really horrible to your girlfriend. Notice I merely said something horrible, but I never specified what form that the response should take. I'll leave you some creative freedom, even though you'll just fuck it up. I'm sorry, but anyone who so much as suggests that you get rid of your Eva figures is a fucking bitch. She's not just a bitch, she's a bad person. Do you know how pissed I'd be if someone told me I need to get rid of the Girls? See 'ya, whore.

Your girlfriend should be happy you've got your creepy little habit of collecting naked cartoon characters as opposed to collecting other girlfriends. Of course, you wouldn't do that because you're such a fucking loser. Have fun being walked all over for the rest of your life. That's what'd happen to me if I let a woman besides my mom or grandmother take control of me, but that's not fucking happening, douchebag, for myriad reasons. Plus, even I would only take shit up to a point, and I think we now know where that point is. We're both empty husks of what could have been manhood, but at least I have my Girls, and you have nothing.

Wow, I honestly didn't plan on going off like that. Hmph... Must be getting angry now.

You know those scientists were just dying to make that Robert Palmer joke

If you can't find it... Cheapen it.

Random thoughts:

"Defects." OCD. Yup, pretty much.

Can they create a more sociable human? A more loving one? Here's test case zero, motherfuckers. Lotsa luck.

It's bad enough that women are using Google to try and dig up dirt on a mate or potential mate. I really don't think we need them busting out the brain scanner, too.

Does your partner really love you? No. Is your husband lusting after the au pair? Yes.

The family that shoots up together...

In a related story, the religious right recently named the prairie vole as their new mascot.
God damn it, do you Christfuckers have to try and ruin everything?

Sunday, February 15, 2004