Again, my 'blog is a beacon for horny guys jerking off, as evidenced by this AOL search:

best way to mastubate?

So I made my views on online file sharing known back in an April 21st post. Here's today's example as to why the recording industry is wrong, and nothing but a bunch of greedy fucks who are too stupid to figure out a decent way to cash in on P2P, and so they have to go blitzkrieg on anyone they can find.

Yeah, there's a lot of porn out there on P2P networks. And, unfortunately, there is child porn out there as well. As pointed out in that article (and not like you need to be reminded), there is plenty of porn of all kinds to be found on the internet. If we're going to start regulating and shutting down P2P networks, than the same is going to have to go for the rest of the 'net, and I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.

Saying they're working to keep kids from finding porn, child or otherwise, is just as much bullshit as those who go after the internet in general for the same thing. Is it easier to get porn on P2P networks? You could make a case for that. But that doesn't mean that just because it's out there that adults or children are necessarily downloading it. Some, yes. It wouldn't be there if there wasn't some sort of demand. However, as was also pointed out, rarely do you ever download porn on accident. When you see MPEG filenames that have references to children and sexual acts, you have a pretty good idea as to what it is. Also, I don't think that many are trying to lure kids into looking at child porn on P2P like that guy I posted a link on a couple of days ago. Again, what would the fucking point of that be?

Those who sexually assault children really are the lowest of the low, and they deserve to die. Going after P2P networks and developers does nothing to stop these people. An attempt by the recording industry to say they're fighting P2P to protect children is disgusting. Again, I don't even have to tell anyone that this is just a thinly veiled attempt to protect their bottom line. They would personally rape children to protect their profits. R Kelly might do it for free. But if you're going to be a money grubbing prick, at least don't lie about it.

Also, sorry R. Sure, you peed on a 14 year old, and that's not exactly rape (unless you forced her), and while she was a minor 14 isn't exactly a 'child' like some who are abused in porn and otherwise. Doesn't mean what you did is OK, but to imply that you're a kiddy raper isn't really fair, unless of course if at some point you have raped kids. Unfortunately for you, you were the quickest example of someone in music who I could think of that's into the young'uns.

There's really nothing to say at this point.

Nothing cheers 'ya up like waking up to a story about dead baby turtles.

Still, nothing will piss me off as much as this one story that ran on our local news several years ago. It was about a bunch of kittens, and they were sick for some reason or other - I can't quite remember. Anyway, it's a bunch of kittens, so naturally I'm like "awwwww..." But you know what happened at the end of the story? The kittens died. You don't run a fucking story about cute kitties who die in the end! I know it's the fucking news, but where is my happy ending? When it comes to kittens, no happy ending, no story, got it?

Although I was bitter and disillusioned at the time, I think I still had a shred of hope and joy left in me, but that story destroyed it.

Hey, what the fuck does Jimmy Carter know about world peace?

Oh. Decades of diplomatic experience. Nobel Peace Prize. Right.

Okay, I think I may have come across a better, also free, commenting solution: BlogSpeak. I can format the comment line text however the fuck I want, and if they're tracking IPs or any of that shit, at least they don't show it in the fucking comment window. I'm probably going to switch over to this once I figure out what their catch is and I get motivated to make the change.

Way to go, Bush Administration. You see, this is why you don't spend a bunch of time calling down everyone's ass, because it makes it a lot more difficult when you have to turn around and kiss all those asses.

You know, as much as I hate the administration, I've always had a begrudging respect for them. Even if I disagree with someone, I can respect them if they're intelligent, well organized, and can get shit done. This quagmire in Iraq really has me doubting the few points that I gave the administration. After all, wasn't the idea to set up a pro-US, pro-Israel government in Iraq? That isn't looking horribly promising, now that Iraq actually is a breeding ground for terrorism. The Bush administration is just like a spoiled child: it wants to have its way without having to wait or do anything on its own. It really does seem like they expected Saddam to go away, and magically Iraq would be re-born as if it had been struck by the Genesis Device. And, if you saw Star Trek III, thus having caught that reference, well, you know how the Genesis Planet ends up.

I got to thinking, and maybe the Administration's goals are even more abstruse than I thought. Maybe getting rid of Saddam was just supposed to be a short-term fix for something, and they don't care how Iraq ends up. Short term fix for what? Beats me; even I'm not that evil. I know, it doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't they be interested in setting up a US puppet government? But if that's what they're trying to do, why didn't they have one or two meetings (at least) before the war to discuss how things would go over? I just can't make heads or tails of it.

Then I got to thinking, maybe the Bush Administration is in al Qaeda's pocket. Or something like that. Seriously, because they seem hell bent on destroying this country. Massive debt looming thanks to shitty domestic and shitty foreign policy, coupled with an entire world pissed off at us. And you know what? This is just quiet time. With as bad as things are now, this is probably just the calm before the storm.

So Brian over at bmoeasy was way too generous with the compliments about Fuck Everything. Even though the praise is undeserved, I'll take it.

Okay, this may be one of my proudest moments... ever. Here's an AOL search that brought someone here:

how to mastubate longer

I also got another hit thanks to "boyfucker." Super.

Good for the Democrats. No, seriously. This just goes to show that they can do useful stuff when they actually try.

So, the latest google searches to generate hits...

hoax marcellus wallace soul
sexy student fuck by teacher secretary with manager story
outlaw volleyball all costume code (Yahoo)

I also love Paul Krugman, and I'm not afraid to admit that, either.

Quick show of hands: who pays any attention to what the government says about possible terrorist attacks?

So today there was an explosion (well, explosion by my site's standards) of referrals from LOVEFURY. Not sure why it just seemed to start today, but regardless of the reason, a big thanks goes out once again.

Okay, here's a question: why would you want to lure children to a pr0n site in the first place? The only way you're going to make money is if the kid gets ahold of a credit card. Granted, this is possible, but it's not like the kid is going to get away with it. Well, actually, I suppose they could. The credit card bill comes, the wife gets pissed, and the husband blames it on the kids, which the wife natually doesn't buy. Shit, now that I think about it, that's the perfect crime. Oh, except for the fact that kids don't care about pr0n besides maybe the normal curiousity we all had when we were younger.

One one hand, this kinda bothers me, because it's like, well, why the fuck aren't parents just doing a better job of watching their kids online and explaining shit to them when things don't work out according to plan? It's not like you can't do a search for something completely innocuous and get 1,000 sites returned for "Backdoor Fisting Sluts," so it's hard to completely shield them unless you just keep them off the 'net. Anyway, parents really need to be more aware of this shit, and prepared for what do do when their kids do come across pr0n. You know, at least the really young ones who shouldn't be seeing this stuff. Besides, once they get to a certain age, they've probably seen old Playboys at a friend's house anyway.

Still, it does seem like this guy was trying to get kids to come to pr0n sites with things like misspelling Disney. Except for the Britney Spears websites - anyone going there is obviously looking for jackoff material. So, fuck it, go ahead and go after the guy. There's no excuse for trying to get kids into pr0n - many of them will get into it anyway when the time is right.

This has got to be the saddest fucking 'blog I've ever seen. I may remove the link soon, because I really don't want someone's shitty Enterprise wet dream fanfiction getting a few free hits off of me. Still, I think you've gotta see this for yourself.

Okay, so I tried writing my own shitty wet dream Trek fanfics at one point, and always think about continuing the effort, but I'll admit up front that what I've come up with is fucking awful.

Here's a new system that might work for losers like me.

So this is an interesting, if stupid, idea.

So I was looking through the list of referring webpages for visitors to my site. Some people got here by doing Google searches using the following search terms:

vince clortho
"wil wheaton" lawsuit
"flash mob" "popular culture"
boyfucker
stupid duplo blocks
fuck g (MSN search)
doax jpe (MSN search)

It's nice to see that I'm using language that allows pedophiles to find my 'blog. Looks like it's time to start using more filthy language, just for the hell of it. My new goal is to insert several porn references everyday, like "barely legal teens" or "tight teenage pussy" or "hot asian whores." Hey, other 'bloggers have found this to be an effective way to get people to their site; time to start putting it to more effective use here at Fuck Everything.

Poor little rich boy.

Geez, working in the White House has gotta suck now, eh? Women have to wear skirts below the knee? Sure, micro-minis probably aren't appropriate for the seat of the United States government, but Christ, what a bunch of repressed motherfuckers.

You know, I was walking behind a pretty girl today wearing a nice skirt. And I was thinking to myself "I like skirts. Long ones, short ones, medium length ones. It's all good." And yes, you can see the quality of my thought processes right there. But I've realized more and more that I'd really like to have a girlfriend, if nothing else, to dress her up in nice things. I think this desire is pretty obvious from my beauty pageant ideas.

Okay, granted, I wouldn't exactly be the one dressing her up; she's obviously going to be making her own choices. But if she has good taste (which is basically a pre-req), it'll almost seem like I have some control. "Hey, I would have picked that one out!"

You know, I just cannot imagine why women don't go for me.

The latest on the Hutton Inquiry.

Maureen Dowd, telling it like it is. I love this woman, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

This is great news, because home schooled kids never turn out socially inept or fucking retarded.

Of course, with all this standardized testing bullshit, the gap is closing. Still, you need to suffer through the hell of school if you ever hope to be as bitter and pissed off as me. Um, wait. I meant if you ever hope to build a strong character. Or something.

Spelling bees? Geography bees? These things are fucking worthless. Their only purpose is to give kids and parents something that's fucking worthless to brag about.

Ha ha ha, no way, asshole. I am looking forward to your execution. Looking forward to it because, odds are, you're going to be real disappointed when you get to the afterlife, if there even is one. Have fun with your 72 virgins, you piece of shit.

Phrase of the week: cock talk.

So I managed to go get a sandwich from Subway today without incident. This may have been due in part to the fact that I yelled at myself beforehand to make sure that I had enough cash. While I was there, a couple of uninteresting tidbits came up.

Inside the shop was a candy machine that apparently dispenses "Chocolate Nuggets." Now, maybe it's just my twisted mind that sees things like that and thinks of something sick. But you just know some closet coprophiliac has seen that machine, or one just like it, and gotten kinda excited. Also, the machine was empty - whether or not that's due to high demand or lack thereof is open to speculation.

In the middle of the parking lot there was a single baby shoe. Normally this kinda fucks with me, making me ask "Why the fuck do you always see a single shoe on the side of the road? Where is the other one, and why do they never get lost or discarded in pairs?" Today, however, all I could ask myself was "Where is the rest of the kid?"

... And to reinvigorate the seething hatred, I offer this link.

I know it's only Alabama, but it's really fucking sick to see the chief justice of a state's supreme court not understanding something like the first amendment.

Moore's logic is weaker than the bones of an 86 year-old with osteoporosis. He acts like "acknowledgement of god" and "rule of law" are tangible things, and by removing the "acknowledgement" part, we're somehow diminishing the "rule of law" part. Yes, things like the Ten Commandments are the basis of our laws. I realized the other day that a lot of my morals and ethics are, if nothing else, descended from the Judeo-Christian ethics of the society I was brought up in. I haven't abandoned a lot of those morals (not to say that I haven't lost one or two along the way...), I just like to think that I've outgrown things like the Ten Commandments. If the Ten Commandments were suddenly banned from ever being displayed again, I wouldn't suddenly go berserk and start killing people, no matter how much I want to. Rule of law won't disintegrate just because you're not allowed to "acknowledge god," which Moore doesn't even realize is a euphemism for "promote Christianity." Moore's argument is non sequitur at its finest.

"And the Constitution of the United States is very clear in saying that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." No it isn't. If it were clear, we might not be having this debate. Howvever, it can be easy for something to be "very clear" once you've decided on an interpretation that supports your ideals.

Moore says "When a judge, a federal district judge, says, I don't know what the words mean, but this is what I think they mean, he's entering into a lawless order..." That's just fucking stupid; he's not descending into "lawless order," he's descending into the American system. That's why we have judges, to interpret the law and the Constitution, which they can only do based on what they think. It's not perfect, but it's the best we can do.

Is there anywhere in the country where adultery is illegal? You know Moore and his followers, the Taliban, would like it to be if it isn't. Sure, cheating on your SO is a shitty thing to do, but we don't need laws to tell us that.

Moore says "this is an issue that has plagued this country for 40 years." Does anyone know what happened 40 years ago? Wasn't that when we were in the midst of the Civil Rights Movement? I could be totally wrong, especially since no racists have ever come from Alabama, but the specific mention of 40 years seemed kinda odd. I'm sure it was just some specific court case involving separation of church and state, but my weak implication that Moore is a racist is clever, isn't it? Shows you just how easy it is to come up with unfounded shit that sounds good.

I'm pre-emptively pissed off that Moore is going to end up a winner from this whole debate. Whether or not he gets his job back, he's alredy attending (probably lucrative) speaking engagements, and he's become a hero to millions of sheep, so he's already won. Fuck, Roy has me beat, if nothing else just based on how much of my life I've wasted complaining about him.

In the end, Moore just shows himself to be another ignorant, asshole prick who, surprise surprise, just happens to be a Christian conservative. I'm not saying all assholes are Christian conservatives, but I am saying that all Christian conservatives are assholes. Moore is so full of shit when he says it's about his legal duty to acknowledge god, because it's actually all about his personal desire to promote Christianity. You know, we often negelct the Jewish part of "Judeo-Christian," even though we use that term a lot. If someone wanted to rectify this by placing a big ol' menorah in the rotunda of the Alabama Judicial Building, our friend Roy here would shit his pants. Unfortunately, he'd be shitting his pants because someone didn't praise Jesus, and not because the menorah display is fucking illegal.

Oh, boy! We're gonna have ourselves a good race now!

So after a suggestion to hack the HTML code to get rid of that "Comments by..." shit (which I'm still sure that I can't), I noticed that each post records the user's IP address and hostname. That fucking pisses me off, because there's no need for that info to be recorded or collected. I don't want or need it, and FuckBox.tv doesn't need it either. I'm going to mull this over a bit, and decide whether or not to keep this bullshit invasion of privacy. I know it's not a huge deal, but it still bothers me.

Looks like The Onion was wrong, and a couple of people got their shit together and made it to Burning Man after all.

Hey, I thought it was the tax cuts that were driving the economic growth? Sure, you can argue that the cuts were what caused an increase in demand, if it wasn't for the fact that those tax cuts mainly benefit the rich. If the war is what really drove us forward, we're going to be wholly fucked once the benefits die out and we're just stuck with the reconstruction tab. Oh, wait, my bad, we were just going to let future generations take care of that silly little mess. Plus, there's still that minor issue of unemployment to deal with.

Oh, c'mon now. I sincerely doubt any favortism or desire to see the Bush vision of the world forced on Iraq was involved with this decision.

Let this be a lesson: if you're going to run away with your underage girlfriend, don't take her to wherever in the hell this place is.

Yeah, as if we need more shit to worry about. I mean, 1 in 909,000? That's like almost a surefire bet, isn't it?

Big Brother is watching, and I'm not talking about the shitty reality show. Of course, it's not like we don't know about shit like this, but it helps to have the friendly reminder from time to time.

I guess I spoke too soon. Arnold is going to give Californians one whole debate.

All I can say is that he had better start cramming now if he has any hopes of getting admitted to Todai.

To lighten the mood after all the seething hatred from the Alabama Ten Commandments Jamboree, I offer this somewhat amusing link.

So Danny over at The Ides is confused as to whether or not I'm Wil Wheaton. Just to make sure there's no confusion, either now or in the future, I will make a statement. Kinda like my first press release, only lame and no one's listening. Anyway, here it is: I am NOT Wil Wheaton. I never have been will Wheaton, and I suspect that I never will be. But oh, how I wish that I could.

Seriously, Wil Wheaton kicks ass. I discovered this way back when he was on Next Gen. QVC (you know, the home shopping channel) used to run specials where they sold all sorts of Trek merchandise. Well, one night, they had Wil as a guest. I'm sure he'd rather not be remembered so much for a QVC appearance, but it can't be helped - this was when I found out that Wil Wheaton is a cool guy.

"Wil Wheaton? QVC? This is just more of your sarcastic bullshit, isn't it?" Honestly, I am not being sarcastic or trying to be an asshole. For once.

Anyway, it was from this QVC appearance that I saw Wil Wheaton was a smart, funny guy who was actually somewhat down to earth. He says he was an asshole back when he was on TV, but I could see that he was a good guy even then. I remember him talking about when he found out he got the Next Gen role, and he was like "I was totally stoked... I'm going to be on Star Trek!" And you could tell that he was excited to be on Next Gen, and that he was one of us - a geek. It was pretty much thanks to seeing him on TV that one time that led me to be totally stoked when I discovered his 'blog.

So anyway, yeah, that's my lame Wil Wheaton story. I'm not Wil Wheaton, I've never met him, but he may have checked out my 'blog when I placed an ad on his site, and that's about as good as life gets for me.

Hey, so does anyone know of a decent way to add comments to 'blog posts? I found one that was free and looked pretty good, called HaloScan, but they aren't accepting any new members. Another, squawkbox.tv, is also free but sucks. Every comment link will have the text 'Comments by SquawkBox.tv' or some such bullshit, which I don't want and can't change unless I give them money, which I won't. I don't mind being a corporate whore, I just want things to look the way I want without having to pay for it. I'm easy to please. I may just go ahead and use that one for now, until I either find something better or get sick of their shit.

Ok, yeah, I went ahead and added it. It looks ugly, but it's not like the rest of the page is some great work of art, either. Of course, it also adds to load time thanks to extra images and JavaScript and shit, so sorry to any dialup users. For what it's worth, I'm also fucking myself in that arena, and not in the happy fun masturbatory way since I'm usually doing shit on dialup as well.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, good.

So I've gotten about halfway through Al Franken's new book, and so far it's pretty good. Sure, it has its faults, but I'm looking forward to the rest of it. Oh, and a big thanks to Fox for suing Mr. Franken, as they helped get the word out on the street (I didn't know about the new book until I read about the lawsuit) and helped get the book out on store shelves sooner.

Hey everybody, did you hear the good news? Bush said it's going to get better! I feel good about things now!

Fucking asshole. Nothing but fluff and bullshit.

"The economy is beginning to grow, and that's what I'm interested in." Well, it's about fucking time. The economy has been in the toilet since you got here, and it's the job of the guy in charge to be interested in economic growth. I know Bush doesn't give a shit about anyone, but you'd think he'd pay more attention to the economy since his job is going to be riding on it.

"Productivity gains"? You've got to be fucking kidding me. Bush is actually trying to imply that some workers have become more productive, and because of this others weren't needed and got laid off. That is just such a stunningly assholish thing to say that it's not even funny. Yeah, lots of individual workers are more productive - because they fucking have to be in order to pick up slack for all the people who just got laid off! I saw plenty of this at my last job. In addition to seeing it all over the place, even my last few months there were spent handling a task that was previously owned by someone who had been laid off.

"We expect there to be a fair playing field when it comes to trade." What, you mean fair as in us doing things like imposing illegal steel tariffs to protect American businesses? Yeah, I want to see us doing well, but that means we have to play fair, too.

Oh, and I'm real sure that drilling for oil in Alaska is going to fix our power transmission problems. I love the language Bush uses - "give me an energy bill." Not develop an energy bill that we can work on and debate, "give me" one that contains exactly what I want.

No, we know what that really means: a quart of cum in his stomach.

Yeah, I know that was in pretty bad taste, since Bonds' dad just died and all. Bonds is still an asshole, but at least he's not Mariah Carey. And since when does Fuck Everything give a flying fuck about bad taste? Obviously never, because this motherfucker is getting posted.

If you're saying "What the fuck is this bullshit?" you're not alone, because there are a good two or three other people there with you. Of course, I'm sure "What the fuck is this bullshit?" is a common reaction for most of the people who stumble across any post on this page; I'm talking about the people who have been here before and hate themselves enough to come back. This entire post was a joke pretty much written for one person: the one person I know who will get the joke.

Okay, fine. Normally, I don't do this. Do what? Explain the joke. As we know, you've gotta stop explaining the joke, because when you do, it's just... Life's not worth living.

Anyway, the "quart of cum" line is a reference to an old What do you think? from The Onion. It was when Mariah Carey was hospitalized for "exhaustion." One of the respondents in the WDYT? poll said "Exhaustion? We all know what that really means - a quart of cum in her stomach."

So there you have it; everyone is clued in, none of this was funny, and I just wasted everyone's time. Which, really, is the true legacy of this 'blog.

So, it was college football kickoff weekend these past couple of days. Woo hoo. My alma mater won, beating their in-state rival. Woo fucking hoo again.

College sports piss me off. I know what you're saying - "Something pisses you off? That can't be." But it's true. I fucking hate college athletics.

Not all college sports, mainly basketball and football. Others, like crew team, are fine. Hell, crew team is fucking gay anyway, and as we all know, I'm down with the gay community.

Actually, it's really just the fans I hate. No, wait, I just remembered how I hate the athletes, too. So much anger, so little time.

What pisses me off about college sports fans, especially the really rabid ones, is the fact that they're getting wood over a bunch of fucking kids. Not "wood" and "kids" in the Catholic Priest sense, even though both are apparently accepted in this society. Anyway, a lot of these fans either have never had athletic ability, or once had it and lost it. They just want to live vicariously through guys half their age who have the ability to throw round or oblong objects around. They're basically as bad as the guys who play fantasy sports, who desperately wish they could manage their own club, but can't (As a note, this isn't any sort of personal attack on a certain someone; I know you're not trying to fulfill your shattered dreams of being a pro coach. However, you did pay the price of admission, so you're still a pussy, just in a better way). Also, like with most things, I'm generalizing. Not all fans are like this, but plenty of them are.

I don't know, it just seems so fucked up to idolize guys half your age. This is what you grew up for?

I, on the other hand, have decided to take a different route. I don't worship or idolize college sports stars; I hate them. Obviously, a lot of my hatred comes from jealousy. These guys are big, athletic, and can get women. I sometimes just wonder what it would be like to wander around campus, saying "I could fuck that chick, I could fuck that chick...." Instead of "That chick doesn't see me, that chick doesn't see me... And, I'm going to kill myself." Okay, I've never thought that until now, but the point stands.

And why do these guys get the glory? Because they can do shit with a ball. I can solve systems of differential equations (with some review), these guys can run fast. I know, doing DiffEq shit isn't entertaining, but still. Do you realize how fucking stupid some of these guys are? I'm not saying all of them, OK. Some of them really are bright, and I respect that, and probably don't hate them as much. But seriously, I once saw a college game where one of the players was MAJORING in GENERAL STUDIES. Not "undecided" or "undeclared" (which are sometimes counted as a major in statistics), but general fucking studies. I'll bet that "major" was made up specifically for athletes. These guys get a free ride to school for this shit. Meanwhile, a double-E with a 3.9 gets next to nothing.

Yes, I'm envious. Yes, I'm bitter. But at least I'll admit it, instead of sublimating it into this machismo bullshit of being a "college hoops junkie." I know that "admitting it" doesn't amount to shit, but sometimes I like to think it does.

The only comfort is knowing that most of these kids are going to not go on to pro careers, instead landing in jobs in the food service industry. Some will make it, but that can't be helped. Either way, they will some day begin breaking down into crying fits, longing for their "glory days."

I realize that the idolizing of men half your age applies to most sports, but for some reason college sports piss me off the most. Again, I think it's just bitterness, since I was recently a college student, and essentially one of these kids' peers. As yet, they end up getting all of this attention and all of my tuition money so they can continue to do shit with a ball.

Hey, so I was reading Danny's complaints about pop-ups. Did I mention that the latest versions of Mozilla have a fucking kick-ass popup blocker built in? I think I completely forgot to mention this capability of both Mozilla and Mozilla Firebird. The fact that I never see pop-ups unless I want to has just become a fact of life to me, and I've started taking it for granted. And with all the pr0n I download, this is a major fucking blessing from the Mozilla codemonkeys.

Gee, I can't imagine why Arnold would shy away from debating the issues with his opponents.

You know, if Arnold does get elected, it's going to continue the scary figurehead precedent that Bush set. You know, a really powerful leader who doesn't do any work himself except stand there. Bush's team is just running the show, and it looks like the same goes for Arnold. Former Governor Pete Wilson is his campaign co-chair and "mentor." Jimmy Bu- er, Warren Buffet is his economic advisor. Arnold is... Arnold is the famous guy.

Hey, are you pissed? If not, you will be after reading this lovely nugget I came aross. Okay, maybe you'll be like me, and you won't really get pissed, because you're already pissed. But it will give your eyes something to do as they roll in their sockets.

I'm going to wait until I'm actually in a good mood (which should be any day now...) and read more of the bullshit from that site.

Another link today, and a hearty Fuck Everything shoutout to Danny over at The Ides.