Be all that you can be? Yeah, I'm on it.

So I'm on an extended lunch break yesterday, trolling the mall to find someone a birthday present. As I'm on my way to one store, this guy starts talking to me. I fucking hate when this shit happens, especially when it's some transient in the mall when I have a fucking agenda.

As it turns out, this guy is an Army recruiter, out looking for fresh meat. He thought I might still be in school, seeing as how I look like I'm 12, so it was fun to see his surprise when I told him I'd graduated already, and furthermore didn't need the Army to help me pay for school loans. At one point he asked if I knew what the Army was about, and if I'd considered it before. I said I had (which wasn't a total lie; I'd thought about it for maybe 0.68 seconds before dismissing it) but decided against it. Of course, he asks why. "Well, some things are for some people, and some things are not."

That's pretty much the bottom line as to why I won't ever join the military in any capacity. I understand that it's not all about huntin' and killin', and there are lots of other jobs besides being out there in combat. Besides, I'd pretty much get fired if they managed to come across Fe.

I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't rip this guy a new one or something, especially since I hate the troops. Well, like I said a couple of days ago, I'm not mean just for the sake of being mean. Also, we all know what a huge pussy I am when it comes to being around others. I talk a huge game when I'm safe behind my keyboard, but am the limpest dick whenever actual reality shows up. Furthermore, pretty much whenever someone starts talking to me, especially complete strangers, I go into full-on panic mode. I don't care what's going on, I just want them the hell away from me as soon as possible. My "fight or flight" response mechanism is pretty one-sided.

There you have it; the military is really hurting in terms of enlistment. They're so desperate that they're now aimlessly wandering the mall to find people to join. Their desperation is made all the worse by the fact that they're talking to me.