Spam:
does your man satisfy you?
No, and quite frankly, I'm getting sick and tired of it.
Saturday, April 24, 2004
It's the recursion, stupid
I think my life just changed. For anyone who's read enough of this site, you know that what I'm about to talk about isn't earth-shattering. Far from important. Sure, you could argue that in the grand scheme of things, nothing that happens to anyone is important. This, however, is some real stupid shit. And... I'm pathetic.
So we all know about my infamous porn-fetching scripts. They're all pretty simple-minded; basically just a "for" loop that constructs URLs to go and download from the loop index. The heart of the scripts is a separate utility that I didn't write called Wget (probably installed by default on a lot of Linux systems). Wget in it's most basic usage, not surprisingly, takes a URL and retrieves it. As such, my script does its counting and URL building, and just tells Wget to go and get said URLs. One problem I have been plagued with is that some sites forbid direct linking to images (which is typically what the scripts are used for, but they can be easily modified to get any kind of file), thus requiring you to go to an index page and click the link to every image you want and then save it. I understand why some sites would want to do this, but it's still a huge pain in the ass.
I was looking though my dozens of bookmarks for shit that's "to be downloaded" and came across a bookmarked site full of pics of this girl, AV (adult video, aka PORN for the euphemism impaired) actress Kanazawa Bunko. And I was asking myself, "Why the fuck haven't you downloaded these? There's some quality shit here." The reason was, of course, that my script couldn't download the images because of the above mentioned issue, and as such I'd have to download them manually. I thought about it some more, and I was like, you know, Wget has to be able to handle this.
As it turns out, Wget is all over that shit. I can give Wget a URL, bust out the '-r' option, and it'll go retrieve a page and shit that it's linked to, including all of the images linked off a page. Fucking sweet.
Of course, this means that I have been wasting so much fucking time over the past several years both manually downloading shit as well as writing scripts for shit that Wget can already do. This is great from here on out, but looking back I'm rather pissed at myself for not just reading the fucking man page sooner. I mean, think of all the time I could have saved if I had known this. In theory, I could have gotten through my porn downloading sooner, and used the extra time to go out and build an actual social life. Of course, let's face it, I would have just used that time to download more porn.
Yes, yes, yes. I know what you guys are out there are saying. "Yeah, that's great, only it isn't. What the fuck is the page you were talking about earlier with all the pictures?" Here, quit yer bitching. Yes, there are some naked pictures there, so click with caution.
So we all know about my infamous porn-fetching scripts. They're all pretty simple-minded; basically just a "for" loop that constructs URLs to go and download from the loop index. The heart of the scripts is a separate utility that I didn't write called Wget (probably installed by default on a lot of Linux systems). Wget in it's most basic usage, not surprisingly, takes a URL and retrieves it. As such, my script does its counting and URL building, and just tells Wget to go and get said URLs. One problem I have been plagued with is that some sites forbid direct linking to images (which is typically what the scripts are used for, but they can be easily modified to get any kind of file), thus requiring you to go to an index page and click the link to every image you want and then save it. I understand why some sites would want to do this, but it's still a huge pain in the ass.
I was looking though my dozens of bookmarks for shit that's "to be downloaded" and came across a bookmarked site full of pics of this girl, AV (adult video, aka PORN for the euphemism impaired) actress Kanazawa Bunko. And I was asking myself, "Why the fuck haven't you downloaded these? There's some quality shit here." The reason was, of course, that my script couldn't download the images because of the above mentioned issue, and as such I'd have to download them manually. I thought about it some more, and I was like, you know, Wget has to be able to handle this.
As it turns out, Wget is all over that shit. I can give Wget a URL, bust out the '-r' option, and it'll go retrieve a page and shit that it's linked to, including all of the images linked off a page. Fucking sweet.
Of course, this means that I have been wasting so much fucking time over the past several years both manually downloading shit as well as writing scripts for shit that Wget can already do. This is great from here on out, but looking back I'm rather pissed at myself for not just reading the fucking man page sooner. I mean, think of all the time I could have saved if I had known this. In theory, I could have gotten through my porn downloading sooner, and used the extra time to go out and build an actual social life. Of course, let's face it, I would have just used that time to download more porn.
Yes, yes, yes. I know what you guys are out there are saying. "Yeah, that's great, only it isn't. What the fuck is the page you were talking about earlier with all the pictures?" Here, quit yer bitching. Yes, there are some naked pictures there, so click with caution.
Also stolen from Naked Furniture: a website whose title pretty much sums up how I feel about one particular topic. I love the titles of the current and future articles on that site.
This is why I don't pay attention to the local news - because if I do, my fucking head will explode. I hate my state.
Link stolen from Naked Furniture.
Link stolen from Naked Furniture.
Sideshow Collectibles has made some pretty cool stuff. I have the original set of their Monty Python and the Holy Grail figures, and I'm kinda kicking myself in the ass that I didn't get anything else they released beyond the Black Knight. I just got a look at their X-Files lineup, which includes (or, will include) a Cancer Man figure. There's something off about the Mulder and Scully sculpts, but at least Mulder doesn't look like K.D. Lang.
I will never stop being pissed about the McFarlane figures that were supposed to come out after the initial movie figures several years ago. We were going to get Skinner, Cancer man, all kinds of shit. But because Todd McFarlane is a fuckhead - along with everyone else involved with that licensing deal - it all fell through. Well, at least I got one of the original "Fireman" figures where you can remove the devleoping alien fetus without busting out the X-Acto.
I will never stop being pissed about the McFarlane figures that were supposed to come out after the initial movie figures several years ago. We were going to get Skinner, Cancer man, all kinds of shit. But because Todd McFarlane is a fuckhead - along with everyone else involved with that licensing deal - it all fell through. Well, at least I got one of the original "Fireman" figures where you can remove the devleoping alien fetus without busting out the X-Acto.
Update: I found this page where you can download all the episodes of Zelda. You have to sign up for their stupid forums to download, but it's pretty quick and painless. The movies aren't exactly high-quality, but it's not like I had high expectations.
Fuckin' A. This show was pretty much a young boy's wet dream. The smart-ass hero brandishing his sword and fighting monsters in hopes of getting one lousy kiss from the princess. Man, Zelda's a stone-cold bitch. But at least she gets involved in the ass-kicking instead of always playing the damsel in distress. And Sprite fucking rules - she's looking out for number one! And Sugar Ray Gannon continues the rich tradition of inept bad guys.
I remember that I used to be a bigger fan of the Super Mario Brothers cartoons in the beginning, and was kinda disappointed on Fridays when Zelda was on instead. At one point, I came to my senses and was like "Fuck Super Mario Brothers. Zelda is where it's at."
Also when I was younger, I had this weird habit of busting out my tape recorder and recording myself while I watched cartoons. Duck Tales, Zelda, you name it. I need to go dig those out of the crawl space at my parents' house. Yeah, totally - that way I can remind myself that I was just as pathetic as a child as I am now as a pseudo-adult.
Fuckin' A. This show was pretty much a young boy's wet dream. The smart-ass hero brandishing his sword and fighting monsters in hopes of getting one lousy kiss from the princess. Man, Zelda's a stone-cold bitch. But at least she gets involved in the ass-kicking instead of always playing the damsel in distress. And Sprite fucking rules - she's looking out for number one! And Sugar Ray Gannon continues the rich tradition of inept bad guys.
I remember that I used to be a bigger fan of the Super Mario Brothers cartoons in the beginning, and was kinda disappointed on Fridays when Zelda was on instead. At one point, I came to my senses and was like "Fuck Super Mario Brothers. Zelda is where it's at."
Also when I was younger, I had this weird habit of busting out my tape recorder and recording myself while I watched cartoons. Duck Tales, Zelda, you name it. I need to go dig those out of the crawl space at my parents' house. Yeah, totally - that way I can remind myself that I was just as pathetic as a child as I am now as a pseudo-adult.
German people on line one
Also found on Assdot: the latest entry in the "Some People have too much Fucking Time on their Hands" Department. I don't really give a shit about Star Wars despite being a huge nerd, but I have to admit that that thing is pretty fucking cool. Looks like the seller put a stop to the auction, though. I'm wondering: was the little redhead girl part of the auction? And no, that's not why I'm asking!!!
Okay, maybe not that overrated
Over on Assdot there's a discussion of video game movies. One suggestion made in the initial post is Peter Jackson doing a Legend of Zelda movie. You know what I think is a way better idea, and not just because I think Peter Jackson and LOTR are as overrated as Shakespeare and the Beatles? An animated Legend of Zelda. Exactly like the ones that used to air on Fridays instead of the Super Mario Brothers cartoon. Get the exact same people responsible for that and have them put together something feature-length. That'd be the fucking best.
What were there, like 13 episodes of that cartoon? Anyone have them downloaded from someplace they found in line? Time to fire up LameWire.
What were there, like 13 episodes of that cartoon? Anyone have them downloaded from someplace they found in line? Time to fire up LameWire.
Hey, even I'm smart enough to have figured this out - that pro-lifers know they can't get abortion completely banned at this point, but they'll do everything they can to erode a woman's right to choose. Just like terrorists, they're willing to wait for the big score.
It's beyond obscene when Bush of all people talks about creating a "culture of life." That statement gets worse when you look at the broader context of, oh, American history. "Culture of life" is about the stupidest and most contradictory tag you could hope for in this country. This fucking nation is based on a culture of death. Wars, crime, entertainment - you name it, we're all for death.
If nothing else, there's no way I can get on board with the pro-lifers since I'm a guy and will never have any fucking concept of what it's like to have to deal with pregnancy. I'm also a big fan of being able to make tough decisions like this for yourself instead of having the government do it for you.
For those women who are against abortion, what the hell is the matter with you? You want some old fucker telling you what to do just because he thinks Jesus told him to? I know, I know. Some of these women are pro-life because they themselves had an abortion. Look, I understand that deciding to have an abortion must be a horrible decision to have to make, and no matter what, the repercussions stick with you forever. That's what life is about, though, or at least what life should be about. Making decisions. Yes, some decisions have more gravity than others, but just because you made a decision that you're now unhappy with doesn't mean that you should be working to strip others of the right to make the same decision on their own.
Another thing that seems to get lost is that people who are "pro-choice" aren't necessarily "pro-abortion." Sure, there are some sick fuckers out there who hate people and are kind of in that second camp. But still, just because you're on the pro-choice side doesn't mean that any of us think that abortion is the optimal route. It'd be nice if we lived in a perfect world where no one ever felt that the best option is to have an abortion, but it'd also be nice if we lived in a world where we didn't have to put criminals in jail. This is the adult world, not early morning kiddy hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy (to mangle a line from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut). To quote that rhetorical genius Donald Rumsfeld, stuff happens. It's nice if when stuff does indeed happen, people have options available to them to help them in making a decision.
For those who whine and complain "But it's a BABY!!!" I have a characteristically simplistic answer: I don't care. I don't necessarily put any special value on one life over another just because it might be cute someday and puke on one of my nice shirts. I might put some special value on someone I care about, like a wife or a girlfriend, when they're facing a situation like that, however. You know, someone who's actually been there for me, unlike that lousy child. What kind of special treatment have they earned? I submit that they have earned none, unlike the person having to deal with that little self-entitled fucker. Okay, okay, I shouldn't be so harsh on the little shit. They're not self-entitled, they're right-wing asshole Christian entitled.
Once again, that's a big part of what this comes down to: religion. I wonder: how big of an abortion debate would we be having if the Jesus factor were taken out of the equation? Fantastic; a debate being driven by the people who refused to believe that the earth revolves around the sun for years despite actual evidence, the people who think the world was created only a few thousand years ago despite actual evidence, the people who refuse to accept evolution despite actual evidence, and (not to imply that this list is by any means conclusive) the people who think that the first woman was created from a man's rib (I don't detect any sort of anti-woman theme here) despite the fact that that's the stupidest fucking thing imaginable.
Hmm, I didn't expect to get off on such a rant here. That's never happened before. To continue this trend, I'll do something else I always do: I'll repeat myself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: an unborn child is nothing but a parasite. Definition, from Merriam Webster Online:
parasite: 2: an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism
Sub-definition:
parasitism: 2: an intimate association between organisms of two or more kinds; especially : one in which a parasite obtains benefits from a host which it usually injures
If we kill ticks and heartworm, we can kill unborn baby parasites.
It's beyond obscene when Bush of all people talks about creating a "culture of life." That statement gets worse when you look at the broader context of, oh, American history. "Culture of life" is about the stupidest and most contradictory tag you could hope for in this country. This fucking nation is based on a culture of death. Wars, crime, entertainment - you name it, we're all for death.
If nothing else, there's no way I can get on board with the pro-lifers since I'm a guy and will never have any fucking concept of what it's like to have to deal with pregnancy. I'm also a big fan of being able to make tough decisions like this for yourself instead of having the government do it for you.
For those women who are against abortion, what the hell is the matter with you? You want some old fucker telling you what to do just because he thinks Jesus told him to? I know, I know. Some of these women are pro-life because they themselves had an abortion. Look, I understand that deciding to have an abortion must be a horrible decision to have to make, and no matter what, the repercussions stick with you forever. That's what life is about, though, or at least what life should be about. Making decisions. Yes, some decisions have more gravity than others, but just because you made a decision that you're now unhappy with doesn't mean that you should be working to strip others of the right to make the same decision on their own.
Another thing that seems to get lost is that people who are "pro-choice" aren't necessarily "pro-abortion." Sure, there are some sick fuckers out there who hate people and are kind of in that second camp. But still, just because you're on the pro-choice side doesn't mean that any of us think that abortion is the optimal route. It'd be nice if we lived in a perfect world where no one ever felt that the best option is to have an abortion, but it'd also be nice if we lived in a world where we didn't have to put criminals in jail. This is the adult world, not early morning kiddy hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy (to mangle a line from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut). To quote that rhetorical genius Donald Rumsfeld, stuff happens. It's nice if when stuff does indeed happen, people have options available to them to help them in making a decision.
For those who whine and complain "But it's a BABY!!!" I have a characteristically simplistic answer: I don't care. I don't necessarily put any special value on one life over another just because it might be cute someday and puke on one of my nice shirts. I might put some special value on someone I care about, like a wife or a girlfriend, when they're facing a situation like that, however. You know, someone who's actually been there for me, unlike that lousy child. What kind of special treatment have they earned? I submit that they have earned none, unlike the person having to deal with that little self-entitled fucker. Okay, okay, I shouldn't be so harsh on the little shit. They're not self-entitled, they're right-wing asshole Christian entitled.
Once again, that's a big part of what this comes down to: religion. I wonder: how big of an abortion debate would we be having if the Jesus factor were taken out of the equation? Fantastic; a debate being driven by the people who refused to believe that the earth revolves around the sun for years despite actual evidence, the people who think the world was created only a few thousand years ago despite actual evidence, the people who refuse to accept evolution despite actual evidence, and (not to imply that this list is by any means conclusive) the people who think that the first woman was created from a man's rib (I don't detect any sort of anti-woman theme here) despite the fact that that's the stupidest fucking thing imaginable.
Hmm, I didn't expect to get off on such a rant here. That's never happened before. To continue this trend, I'll do something else I always do: I'll repeat myself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: an unborn child is nothing but a parasite. Definition, from Merriam Webster Online:
parasite: 2: an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism
Sub-definition:
parasitism: 2: an intimate association between organisms of two or more kinds; especially : one in which a parasite obtains benefits from a host which it usually injures
If we kill ticks and heartworm, we can kill unborn baby parasites.
Escalation
Google search:
scooby doo raping daphne in the ass
Okay, dude, someone beat you too it. You're not funny like the first guy.
scooby doo raping daphne in the ass
Okay, dude, someone beat you too it. You're not funny like the first guy.
Yahoo search:
people love to fuck good pussies
Thank Christ for my Google/Yahoo/whatever searchers out there. Without them, I would be so in the dark on important facts like this.
people love to fuck good pussies
Thank Christ for my Google/Yahoo/whatever searchers out there. Without them, I would be so in the dark on important facts like this.
Friday, April 23, 2004
"I released myself from the commitment in regard to Arafat." Released himself. Ariel "Fat Fuck" Sharon: Asshole of the Week, Month, Year... Of course, he pretty much shares those titles with everyone involved in this on both sides, but in the past several weeks he has done plenty of shit to deserve special mention.
They were probably shooting at those ambulances because they were convinced it was Tommy Vercetti running a mission.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
It's pretty bad when even your parents think you're a bitch. Yes, I know for a fact that her parents refer to her as a "bitch." I'm personal friends with them. Anna Kournikova can go away any time now. She's a cunt, I can play tennis better than her, and she's not even that hot. She was attractive at one point, but there's some kind of half-life on that shit.
And besides, I already have a diploma
Here's a spam message subject I fucking hate:
Your employer said they can't hire you because you don't have a diploma
Hey, asscock... It's my EMPLOYER. They already hired me, you stupid piece of shit. God damn it, if you're going to flood my inbox with garbage, at least have it make some logical sense. You too may shoot yourself in the mouth.
Your employer said they can't hire you because you don't have a diploma
Hey, asscock... It's my EMPLOYER. They already hired me, you stupid piece of shit. God damn it, if you're going to flood my inbox with garbage, at least have it make some logical sense. You too may shoot yourself in the mouth.
Zoinks!
Google search:
scooby doo and daphne fuck
You never saw Scooby get any snacks like this!
I felt compelled to post this one because it was not only someone who obviously has some childhood issues causing them to bastardize cartoons, but it's also an excuse to bring up everyone's favorite nauseating subject, sex with animals. I'm sorry, but that's funny. Unlike the Inspector Gadget porn freaks, I've gotta hand it to this particular freak. Maybe it's because I watched Scooby Doo cartoons as a kid but grew to hate the show over the years, and as such I don't give a shit if anyone tries to dirty it. The hatred mainly came from, what else, other people. At one point, everyone was like "Hey, Shaggy's a stoner! Get it? He's high all the time! That's so cool!!!!111" Fuck you, cretins. Until you're able to function at a level greater than a five year old, please shoot yourself in the mouth. The same goes for the people who made those awful fucking movies.
The crossover episode with Batman is still pretty cool, though.
"I can prove to you that rape can be funny: picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Hey, why do you think they call him 'Porky'?"
- Carlin
scooby doo and daphne fuck
You never saw Scooby get any snacks like this!
I felt compelled to post this one because it was not only someone who obviously has some childhood issues causing them to bastardize cartoons, but it's also an excuse to bring up everyone's favorite nauseating subject, sex with animals. I'm sorry, but that's funny. Unlike the Inspector Gadget porn freaks, I've gotta hand it to this particular freak. Maybe it's because I watched Scooby Doo cartoons as a kid but grew to hate the show over the years, and as such I don't give a shit if anyone tries to dirty it. The hatred mainly came from, what else, other people. At one point, everyone was like "Hey, Shaggy's a stoner! Get it? He's high all the time! That's so cool!!!!111" Fuck you, cretins. Until you're able to function at a level greater than a five year old, please shoot yourself in the mouth. The same goes for the people who made those awful fucking movies.
The crossover episode with Batman is still pretty cool, though.
"I can prove to you that rape can be funny: picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Hey, why do you think they call him 'Porky'?"
- Carlin
When Karl Rove and the rest of TB talk about "energizing the base," I don't think this is quite what they're looking for. I like how right now CNN's page has a link to the National Council of Churches, with a little banner next to it that says"Celebrate God's gift of air." Unfortunately, the only air God seems to have given us is the hot air that normally comes from you people. Okay, okay, we'll cut them some slack today since they are breaking ranks to criticise the Administration on something they need to be criticized for. But can you guys tone it down with the "What would Jesus drive?" type shit? That kind of goofy title is not helping matters.
Finally, an answer as to what the fuck a hemi is and what's so goddamn special about it. I don't know shit about cars, and until now it just sounded to me like you were only getting half an engine.
I don't know what's worse: that someone put a child up for auction, or that someone else made the conscious decision of "Yeah, I'd pay 25.50 euros for an eight-year-old." One question: what was the "Buy it now" price?
Google search:
fucked up problems at birth funny pics
Unless if I'm misinterpreting things, this is probably the single worst Google hit I've ever gotten, and I get several awful hits a day. Hits so awful that I won't even post them and make jokes (usually something about fucking kids, of course). This one, however, deserves special mention. I don't really get offended by anything, other than the existence of people like this. You know, it's not just that they were looking for pictures of "problems at birth," since I get hits every now and then from people looking for non-child porn pictures of ill shit. It's that they were looking for such pictures to make them laugh. TCFM, who finds humor in lots of things that most other people find decidedly unfunny.
Whoever this Googler is needs to die in a car fire.
fucked up problems at birth funny pics
Unless if I'm misinterpreting things, this is probably the single worst Google hit I've ever gotten, and I get several awful hits a day. Hits so awful that I won't even post them and make jokes (usually something about fucking kids, of course). This one, however, deserves special mention. I don't really get offended by anything, other than the existence of people like this. You know, it's not just that they were looking for pictures of "problems at birth," since I get hits every now and then from people looking for non-child porn pictures of ill shit. It's that they were looking for such pictures to make them laugh. TCFM, who finds humor in lots of things that most other people find decidedly unfunny.
Whoever this Googler is needs to die in a car fire.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Google search:
fuck terrorism sticker
Yeah! Fuck terrorism! I don't like terrorism! Terrorism is mean!
Way to make a statement, assface.
fuck terrorism sticker
Yeah! Fuck terrorism! I don't like terrorism! Terrorism is mean!
Way to make a statement, assface.
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