Hey, what's wrong with a guy who really gets off on his job? This sounds kinda odd - just how do you get away with working a penis pump or shaving your pubes on the bench more than once?

I can't remember if ETP already told me about this Ben Folds tidbit, but he probably has. Either way, always nice when I have an excuse to bring up William Fucking Shatner, mainly just so that I can call him William Fucking Shatner. I still need to get one of those t-shirts from WWDN.

I hate reality TV - as we all know - but the British incarnation of Big Brother almost sounds fun. But yeah, if I really wanted to see shit like that on a regular basis I'd just watch Cops, which I don't. The best episode of Cops being, of course, the episode of The X Files where they did Cops. I'm bringing that up just because thinking about it always puts a smile on my face.

Another well-balanced individual. I'm not sure who wins the prize for Biggest M Winner of the Week - this guy, or the guy I heard about on the local news who was stealing puppies from animal shelters and setting them on fire. I have my own issues with dogs, but even I like puppies and most certainly wouldn't set them on fire. Not even if they were really, really asking for it.

"Mussolini was a winner."
- This one kid I knew in high school during a discussion of Italian fascism, and the origin of the sarcastic phrase "M Winner." Unlike some people I normally don't like explaining the joke, but I'm feeling magnanimous today. You're welcome.

More of the same.

I'm required to link any serious news story that uses the phrase "street cred."

And just for good measure, some more bullshit on Iraq. Yeah, Dubya isn't going to be going door-to-door to collect everyone's $3,415 check, but the money is coming from somewhere. The war isn't paying for itself, in stark contrast to what we were told before it started.

"There's another $8bn that's projected, if the killers don't destroy the pipelines, by the end of this year."

Oh, okay, that makes me feel better. We haven't seen any pipelines getting blown up recently, so we're good. And $8 billion is so totally not peanuts compared to figures like $87 billion.

But... But Bill Clinton wouldn't lie. Especially not after all this time that he's been so honest about the whole affair.

Today's Penny Arcade is yet another example as to why I just can't get on board with on-line gaming. I mean, how fucking stupid is that? Paying real money to get some fake money. Good thing the world of real-life finances is nothing like that.

Despite my objections to online gaming, I will still get sucked in once Dead or Alive Online shows up later this year (early September, I think). That way I can get in some DOA 2: Prettier action with ETP and BOETP without any of us having to leave the comfort of our own homes. You know, I like those kids and all, but it'll be nice when I don't have to deal with them in person anymore. That is, after all, the current trend.

Resistance is futile

Let's be honest: if Jeri Ryan were your wife, wouldn't you take her to "avant-garde" nightclubs in Paris and try to get her to do all kinds of kinky shit? I submit that you would be a fool not to try.

This is probably the only time you're ever going to hear me say this, but get off Dick Cheney's ass. For using the word fuck, that is (of course). Saying "fuck" on the Senate floor is pretty impressive, and most likely one of the only actions Cheney will ever take that I fully approve of.

This is an interesting search engine idea, coupled with quite possibly the worst name ever. I mean, when you think of a dog and some kind of pile, what kind of imagery results? Considering that there's nothing but shit out there, though, the name ends up being appropriate.

And we all know how they feel about cocksuckers!

Then there was this from yesterday. Saudi Arabia is doing a lot to fight terrorism - by offering up a bullshit compromise that no self-respecting terrorist will accept.

Saudi Arabia: Cocksucker of the Week.

Any questions? Any questions? Let's get it on.

Go ahead and take a look at this. Could there be any less appropriate use of a public building than that? It's real comforting to know that whack-jobs like Moon can do whatever the fuck they want because they have money. Money that gives them access to government buildings and politicians and pretty much anything else they want. Our "leaders" are all too happy to FedEx this country to hell to get a piece of the action, and we're all too ignorant and lazy to ever do anything to put a stop to it.

I hate this country.

Some more perspective on the run-up to Magical Pixie Dust Sovereignty Day from the Beeb.

Quite possibly some of the saddest people out there are those who obsessively track statistics. Stats and trends that are completely useless and meaningless. Shit like this. And yes, consolation sad-sack points to those who report on this shit - especially when it's nothing but bullshit anti-Bush filler when there's plenty of non-bullshit anti-Bush stuff that we could be hearing - as well as those who link to said reports.

Oh, hey, we're only a week away from the magical day when we sprinkle fairy dust over Iraq and give them "sovereignty." Hey, nothing against them and the fact that some progress is (hopefully) being made, but let's knock off the bullshit notion that everything is going to be totally different come June 30th. On a related note, here is a story on our plans for the US Embassy in Iraq.

Earlier this week, The Guardian put out an interview with Clinton. More Clinton-related stuff from them here.

I am just so sick and tired of all this. Yay conservative, uptight mindset. Fuck families.

The Guardian has a special report on prisoner abuse in Afghanistan. More can be found on their US special reports page.

Ted Rall's latest column.

Now these people are Clinton worshippers. Let the Summer of Clinton begin.

Google search:

how to perform an autopsy pics

This... Is really disturbing. I don't think anyone should be taking a DIY approach to autopsies. And I had better not be seeing Autopsies for Dummies on the book shelves anytime soon.

"Autopsy? Autopsy?! I can't WHACK off to Autopsy! Orrrr can I?!?"
- David Spade on HBO drifting away from it's porn roots

I still remain convinced that Dubya does virtually nothing as president - it's all the other members of Team Bush who are running the show. One area, though, where I think Bush actually takes some initiative is anything that's based in religion. Abortion, abstinence, marriage, what have you. Religion, by its very nature, is rather simple - just do and believe what someone else tells you. There's no actual thought or critical analysis when it really comes down to it, even if they try and dress it up as such. Knowing what a stupid dumbfuck Bush is, letting him get involved with the religious side of things is perfect for him.