Monday, February 16, 2004

I've complained about soulless cocksuckers on eBay who say stupid shit in their auction descriptions before. Today, I'd like to add the fact that somehow, people never WANT to sell item X, they HAVE to sell it. I'd like to, just once, see an honest eBayer: this is a piece of crap, and I don't want it anymore.

Also, am I the only one who searches for shit on eBay, and immediately after getting search results clicks on "sort by highest price"? I know how it works; what I want is going to be expensive, period. That's just how it is.

There's an auction up on eBay entitled "Large lot of Evangelion Hentai resin figures." The auction description starts out with the guy saying "My girlfriend wants 'em gone, so..."

First off, you are the saddest sack I've found so far today. It's only 2:30 AM, but there's a good chance you'll take the title for Monday. Your silly little girlfriend is insecure about the fact that you look at your naked Asuka and medical fetish Rei "that way," and so she brings down the hammer. Being the biggest pussy you can be, they're on their way out.

Second of all, you need to do something really horrible to your girlfriend. Notice I merely said something horrible, but I never specified what form that the response should take. I'll leave you some creative freedom, even though you'll just fuck it up. I'm sorry, but anyone who so much as suggests that you get rid of your Eva figures is a fucking bitch. She's not just a bitch, she's a bad person. Do you know how pissed I'd be if someone told me I need to get rid of the Girls? See 'ya, whore.

Your girlfriend should be happy you've got your creepy little habit of collecting naked cartoon characters as opposed to collecting other girlfriends. Of course, you wouldn't do that because you're such a fucking loser. Have fun being walked all over for the rest of your life. That's what'd happen to me if I let a woman besides my mom or grandmother take control of me, but that's not fucking happening, douchebag, for myriad reasons. Plus, even I would only take shit up to a point, and I think we now know where that point is. We're both empty husks of what could have been manhood, but at least I have my Girls, and you have nothing.

Wow, I honestly didn't plan on going off like that. Hmph... Must be getting angry now.

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