Spam:
does your man satisfy you?
No, and quite frankly, I'm getting sick and tired of it.
Saturday, April 24, 2004
It's the recursion, stupid
I think my life just changed. For anyone who's read enough of this site, you know that what I'm about to talk about isn't earth-shattering. Far from important. Sure, you could argue that in the grand scheme of things, nothing that happens to anyone is important. This, however, is some real stupid shit. And... I'm pathetic.
So we all know about my infamous porn-fetching scripts. They're all pretty simple-minded; basically just a "for" loop that constructs URLs to go and download from the loop index. The heart of the scripts is a separate utility that I didn't write called Wget (probably installed by default on a lot of Linux systems). Wget in it's most basic usage, not surprisingly, takes a URL and retrieves it. As such, my script does its counting and URL building, and just tells Wget to go and get said URLs. One problem I have been plagued with is that some sites forbid direct linking to images (which is typically what the scripts are used for, but they can be easily modified to get any kind of file), thus requiring you to go to an index page and click the link to every image you want and then save it. I understand why some sites would want to do this, but it's still a huge pain in the ass.
I was looking though my dozens of bookmarks for shit that's "to be downloaded" and came across a bookmarked site full of pics of this girl, AV (adult video, aka PORN for the euphemism impaired) actress Kanazawa Bunko. And I was asking myself, "Why the fuck haven't you downloaded these? There's some quality shit here." The reason was, of course, that my script couldn't download the images because of the above mentioned issue, and as such I'd have to download them manually. I thought about it some more, and I was like, you know, Wget has to be able to handle this.
As it turns out, Wget is all over that shit. I can give Wget a URL, bust out the '-r' option, and it'll go retrieve a page and shit that it's linked to, including all of the images linked off a page. Fucking sweet.
Of course, this means that I have been wasting so much fucking time over the past several years both manually downloading shit as well as writing scripts for shit that Wget can already do. This is great from here on out, but looking back I'm rather pissed at myself for not just reading the fucking man page sooner. I mean, think of all the time I could have saved if I had known this. In theory, I could have gotten through my porn downloading sooner, and used the extra time to go out and build an actual social life. Of course, let's face it, I would have just used that time to download more porn.
Yes, yes, yes. I know what you guys are out there are saying. "Yeah, that's great, only it isn't. What the fuck is the page you were talking about earlier with all the pictures?" Here, quit yer bitching. Yes, there are some naked pictures there, so click with caution.
So we all know about my infamous porn-fetching scripts. They're all pretty simple-minded; basically just a "for" loop that constructs URLs to go and download from the loop index. The heart of the scripts is a separate utility that I didn't write called Wget (probably installed by default on a lot of Linux systems). Wget in it's most basic usage, not surprisingly, takes a URL and retrieves it. As such, my script does its counting and URL building, and just tells Wget to go and get said URLs. One problem I have been plagued with is that some sites forbid direct linking to images (which is typically what the scripts are used for, but they can be easily modified to get any kind of file), thus requiring you to go to an index page and click the link to every image you want and then save it. I understand why some sites would want to do this, but it's still a huge pain in the ass.
I was looking though my dozens of bookmarks for shit that's "to be downloaded" and came across a bookmarked site full of pics of this girl, AV (adult video, aka PORN for the euphemism impaired) actress Kanazawa Bunko. And I was asking myself, "Why the fuck haven't you downloaded these? There's some quality shit here." The reason was, of course, that my script couldn't download the images because of the above mentioned issue, and as such I'd have to download them manually. I thought about it some more, and I was like, you know, Wget has to be able to handle this.
As it turns out, Wget is all over that shit. I can give Wget a URL, bust out the '-r' option, and it'll go retrieve a page and shit that it's linked to, including all of the images linked off a page. Fucking sweet.
Of course, this means that I have been wasting so much fucking time over the past several years both manually downloading shit as well as writing scripts for shit that Wget can already do. This is great from here on out, but looking back I'm rather pissed at myself for not just reading the fucking man page sooner. I mean, think of all the time I could have saved if I had known this. In theory, I could have gotten through my porn downloading sooner, and used the extra time to go out and build an actual social life. Of course, let's face it, I would have just used that time to download more porn.
Yes, yes, yes. I know what you guys are out there are saying. "Yeah, that's great, only it isn't. What the fuck is the page you were talking about earlier with all the pictures?" Here, quit yer bitching. Yes, there are some naked pictures there, so click with caution.
Also stolen from Naked Furniture: a website whose title pretty much sums up how I feel about one particular topic. I love the titles of the current and future articles on that site.
This is why I don't pay attention to the local news - because if I do, my fucking head will explode. I hate my state.
Link stolen from Naked Furniture.
Link stolen from Naked Furniture.
Sideshow Collectibles has made some pretty cool stuff. I have the original set of their Monty Python and the Holy Grail figures, and I'm kinda kicking myself in the ass that I didn't get anything else they released beyond the Black Knight. I just got a look at their X-Files lineup, which includes (or, will include) a Cancer Man figure. There's something off about the Mulder and Scully sculpts, but at least Mulder doesn't look like K.D. Lang.
I will never stop being pissed about the McFarlane figures that were supposed to come out after the initial movie figures several years ago. We were going to get Skinner, Cancer man, all kinds of shit. But because Todd McFarlane is a fuckhead - along with everyone else involved with that licensing deal - it all fell through. Well, at least I got one of the original "Fireman" figures where you can remove the devleoping alien fetus without busting out the X-Acto.
I will never stop being pissed about the McFarlane figures that were supposed to come out after the initial movie figures several years ago. We were going to get Skinner, Cancer man, all kinds of shit. But because Todd McFarlane is a fuckhead - along with everyone else involved with that licensing deal - it all fell through. Well, at least I got one of the original "Fireman" figures where you can remove the devleoping alien fetus without busting out the X-Acto.
Update: I found this page where you can download all the episodes of Zelda. You have to sign up for their stupid forums to download, but it's pretty quick and painless. The movies aren't exactly high-quality, but it's not like I had high expectations.
Fuckin' A. This show was pretty much a young boy's wet dream. The smart-ass hero brandishing his sword and fighting monsters in hopes of getting one lousy kiss from the princess. Man, Zelda's a stone-cold bitch. But at least she gets involved in the ass-kicking instead of always playing the damsel in distress. And Sprite fucking rules - she's looking out for number one! And Sugar Ray Gannon continues the rich tradition of inept bad guys.
I remember that I used to be a bigger fan of the Super Mario Brothers cartoons in the beginning, and was kinda disappointed on Fridays when Zelda was on instead. At one point, I came to my senses and was like "Fuck Super Mario Brothers. Zelda is where it's at."
Also when I was younger, I had this weird habit of busting out my tape recorder and recording myself while I watched cartoons. Duck Tales, Zelda, you name it. I need to go dig those out of the crawl space at my parents' house. Yeah, totally - that way I can remind myself that I was just as pathetic as a child as I am now as a pseudo-adult.
Fuckin' A. This show was pretty much a young boy's wet dream. The smart-ass hero brandishing his sword and fighting monsters in hopes of getting one lousy kiss from the princess. Man, Zelda's a stone-cold bitch. But at least she gets involved in the ass-kicking instead of always playing the damsel in distress. And Sprite fucking rules - she's looking out for number one! And Sugar Ray Gannon continues the rich tradition of inept bad guys.
I remember that I used to be a bigger fan of the Super Mario Brothers cartoons in the beginning, and was kinda disappointed on Fridays when Zelda was on instead. At one point, I came to my senses and was like "Fuck Super Mario Brothers. Zelda is where it's at."
Also when I was younger, I had this weird habit of busting out my tape recorder and recording myself while I watched cartoons. Duck Tales, Zelda, you name it. I need to go dig those out of the crawl space at my parents' house. Yeah, totally - that way I can remind myself that I was just as pathetic as a child as I am now as a pseudo-adult.
German people on line one
Also found on Assdot: the latest entry in the "Some People have too much Fucking Time on their Hands" Department. I don't really give a shit about Star Wars despite being a huge nerd, but I have to admit that that thing is pretty fucking cool. Looks like the seller put a stop to the auction, though. I'm wondering: was the little redhead girl part of the auction? And no, that's not why I'm asking!!!
Okay, maybe not that overrated
Over on Assdot there's a discussion of video game movies. One suggestion made in the initial post is Peter Jackson doing a Legend of Zelda movie. You know what I think is a way better idea, and not just because I think Peter Jackson and LOTR are as overrated as Shakespeare and the Beatles? An animated Legend of Zelda. Exactly like the ones that used to air on Fridays instead of the Super Mario Brothers cartoon. Get the exact same people responsible for that and have them put together something feature-length. That'd be the fucking best.
What were there, like 13 episodes of that cartoon? Anyone have them downloaded from someplace they found in line? Time to fire up LameWire.
What were there, like 13 episodes of that cartoon? Anyone have them downloaded from someplace they found in line? Time to fire up LameWire.
Hey, even I'm smart enough to have figured this out - that pro-lifers know they can't get abortion completely banned at this point, but they'll do everything they can to erode a woman's right to choose. Just like terrorists, they're willing to wait for the big score.
It's beyond obscene when Bush of all people talks about creating a "culture of life." That statement gets worse when you look at the broader context of, oh, American history. "Culture of life" is about the stupidest and most contradictory tag you could hope for in this country. This fucking nation is based on a culture of death. Wars, crime, entertainment - you name it, we're all for death.
If nothing else, there's no way I can get on board with the pro-lifers since I'm a guy and will never have any fucking concept of what it's like to have to deal with pregnancy. I'm also a big fan of being able to make tough decisions like this for yourself instead of having the government do it for you.
For those women who are against abortion, what the hell is the matter with you? You want some old fucker telling you what to do just because he thinks Jesus told him to? I know, I know. Some of these women are pro-life because they themselves had an abortion. Look, I understand that deciding to have an abortion must be a horrible decision to have to make, and no matter what, the repercussions stick with you forever. That's what life is about, though, or at least what life should be about. Making decisions. Yes, some decisions have more gravity than others, but just because you made a decision that you're now unhappy with doesn't mean that you should be working to strip others of the right to make the same decision on their own.
Another thing that seems to get lost is that people who are "pro-choice" aren't necessarily "pro-abortion." Sure, there are some sick fuckers out there who hate people and are kind of in that second camp. But still, just because you're on the pro-choice side doesn't mean that any of us think that abortion is the optimal route. It'd be nice if we lived in a perfect world where no one ever felt that the best option is to have an abortion, but it'd also be nice if we lived in a world where we didn't have to put criminals in jail. This is the adult world, not early morning kiddy hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy (to mangle a line from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut). To quote that rhetorical genius Donald Rumsfeld, stuff happens. It's nice if when stuff does indeed happen, people have options available to them to help them in making a decision.
For those who whine and complain "But it's a BABY!!!" I have a characteristically simplistic answer: I don't care. I don't necessarily put any special value on one life over another just because it might be cute someday and puke on one of my nice shirts. I might put some special value on someone I care about, like a wife or a girlfriend, when they're facing a situation like that, however. You know, someone who's actually been there for me, unlike that lousy child. What kind of special treatment have they earned? I submit that they have earned none, unlike the person having to deal with that little self-entitled fucker. Okay, okay, I shouldn't be so harsh on the little shit. They're not self-entitled, they're right-wing asshole Christian entitled.
Once again, that's a big part of what this comes down to: religion. I wonder: how big of an abortion debate would we be having if the Jesus factor were taken out of the equation? Fantastic; a debate being driven by the people who refused to believe that the earth revolves around the sun for years despite actual evidence, the people who think the world was created only a few thousand years ago despite actual evidence, the people who refuse to accept evolution despite actual evidence, and (not to imply that this list is by any means conclusive) the people who think that the first woman was created from a man's rib (I don't detect any sort of anti-woman theme here) despite the fact that that's the stupidest fucking thing imaginable.
Hmm, I didn't expect to get off on such a rant here. That's never happened before. To continue this trend, I'll do something else I always do: I'll repeat myself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: an unborn child is nothing but a parasite. Definition, from Merriam Webster Online:
parasite: 2: an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism
Sub-definition:
parasitism: 2: an intimate association between organisms of two or more kinds; especially : one in which a parasite obtains benefits from a host which it usually injures
If we kill ticks and heartworm, we can kill unborn baby parasites.
It's beyond obscene when Bush of all people talks about creating a "culture of life." That statement gets worse when you look at the broader context of, oh, American history. "Culture of life" is about the stupidest and most contradictory tag you could hope for in this country. This fucking nation is based on a culture of death. Wars, crime, entertainment - you name it, we're all for death.
If nothing else, there's no way I can get on board with the pro-lifers since I'm a guy and will never have any fucking concept of what it's like to have to deal with pregnancy. I'm also a big fan of being able to make tough decisions like this for yourself instead of having the government do it for you.
For those women who are against abortion, what the hell is the matter with you? You want some old fucker telling you what to do just because he thinks Jesus told him to? I know, I know. Some of these women are pro-life because they themselves had an abortion. Look, I understand that deciding to have an abortion must be a horrible decision to have to make, and no matter what, the repercussions stick with you forever. That's what life is about, though, or at least what life should be about. Making decisions. Yes, some decisions have more gravity than others, but just because you made a decision that you're now unhappy with doesn't mean that you should be working to strip others of the right to make the same decision on their own.
Another thing that seems to get lost is that people who are "pro-choice" aren't necessarily "pro-abortion." Sure, there are some sick fuckers out there who hate people and are kind of in that second camp. But still, just because you're on the pro-choice side doesn't mean that any of us think that abortion is the optimal route. It'd be nice if we lived in a perfect world where no one ever felt that the best option is to have an abortion, but it'd also be nice if we lived in a world where we didn't have to put criminals in jail. This is the adult world, not early morning kiddy hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy (to mangle a line from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut). To quote that rhetorical genius Donald Rumsfeld, stuff happens. It's nice if when stuff does indeed happen, people have options available to them to help them in making a decision.
For those who whine and complain "But it's a BABY!!!" I have a characteristically simplistic answer: I don't care. I don't necessarily put any special value on one life over another just because it might be cute someday and puke on one of my nice shirts. I might put some special value on someone I care about, like a wife or a girlfriend, when they're facing a situation like that, however. You know, someone who's actually been there for me, unlike that lousy child. What kind of special treatment have they earned? I submit that they have earned none, unlike the person having to deal with that little self-entitled fucker. Okay, okay, I shouldn't be so harsh on the little shit. They're not self-entitled, they're right-wing asshole Christian entitled.
Once again, that's a big part of what this comes down to: religion. I wonder: how big of an abortion debate would we be having if the Jesus factor were taken out of the equation? Fantastic; a debate being driven by the people who refused to believe that the earth revolves around the sun for years despite actual evidence, the people who think the world was created only a few thousand years ago despite actual evidence, the people who refuse to accept evolution despite actual evidence, and (not to imply that this list is by any means conclusive) the people who think that the first woman was created from a man's rib (I don't detect any sort of anti-woman theme here) despite the fact that that's the stupidest fucking thing imaginable.
Hmm, I didn't expect to get off on such a rant here. That's never happened before. To continue this trend, I'll do something else I always do: I'll repeat myself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: an unborn child is nothing but a parasite. Definition, from Merriam Webster Online:
parasite: 2: an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism
Sub-definition:
parasitism: 2: an intimate association between organisms of two or more kinds; especially : one in which a parasite obtains benefits from a host which it usually injures
If we kill ticks and heartworm, we can kill unborn baby parasites.
Escalation
Google search:
scooby doo raping daphne in the ass
Okay, dude, someone beat you too it. You're not funny like the first guy.
scooby doo raping daphne in the ass
Okay, dude, someone beat you too it. You're not funny like the first guy.
Yahoo search:
people love to fuck good pussies
Thank Christ for my Google/Yahoo/whatever searchers out there. Without them, I would be so in the dark on important facts like this.
people love to fuck good pussies
Thank Christ for my Google/Yahoo/whatever searchers out there. Without them, I would be so in the dark on important facts like this.
Friday, April 23, 2004
"I released myself from the commitment in regard to Arafat." Released himself. Ariel "Fat Fuck" Sharon: Asshole of the Week, Month, Year... Of course, he pretty much shares those titles with everyone involved in this on both sides, but in the past several weeks he has done plenty of shit to deserve special mention.
They were probably shooting at those ambulances because they were convinced it was Tommy Vercetti running a mission.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
It's pretty bad when even your parents think you're a bitch. Yes, I know for a fact that her parents refer to her as a "bitch." I'm personal friends with them. Anna Kournikova can go away any time now. She's a cunt, I can play tennis better than her, and she's not even that hot. She was attractive at one point, but there's some kind of half-life on that shit.
And besides, I already have a diploma
Here's a spam message subject I fucking hate:
Your employer said they can't hire you because you don't have a diploma
Hey, asscock... It's my EMPLOYER. They already hired me, you stupid piece of shit. God damn it, if you're going to flood my inbox with garbage, at least have it make some logical sense. You too may shoot yourself in the mouth.
Your employer said they can't hire you because you don't have a diploma
Hey, asscock... It's my EMPLOYER. They already hired me, you stupid piece of shit. God damn it, if you're going to flood my inbox with garbage, at least have it make some logical sense. You too may shoot yourself in the mouth.
Zoinks!
Google search:
scooby doo and daphne fuck
You never saw Scooby get any snacks like this!
I felt compelled to post this one because it was not only someone who obviously has some childhood issues causing them to bastardize cartoons, but it's also an excuse to bring up everyone's favorite nauseating subject, sex with animals. I'm sorry, but that's funny. Unlike the Inspector Gadget porn freaks, I've gotta hand it to this particular freak. Maybe it's because I watched Scooby Doo cartoons as a kid but grew to hate the show over the years, and as such I don't give a shit if anyone tries to dirty it. The hatred mainly came from, what else, other people. At one point, everyone was like "Hey, Shaggy's a stoner! Get it? He's high all the time! That's so cool!!!!111" Fuck you, cretins. Until you're able to function at a level greater than a five year old, please shoot yourself in the mouth. The same goes for the people who made those awful fucking movies.
The crossover episode with Batman is still pretty cool, though.
"I can prove to you that rape can be funny: picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Hey, why do you think they call him 'Porky'?"
- Carlin
scooby doo and daphne fuck
You never saw Scooby get any snacks like this!
I felt compelled to post this one because it was not only someone who obviously has some childhood issues causing them to bastardize cartoons, but it's also an excuse to bring up everyone's favorite nauseating subject, sex with animals. I'm sorry, but that's funny. Unlike the Inspector Gadget porn freaks, I've gotta hand it to this particular freak. Maybe it's because I watched Scooby Doo cartoons as a kid but grew to hate the show over the years, and as such I don't give a shit if anyone tries to dirty it. The hatred mainly came from, what else, other people. At one point, everyone was like "Hey, Shaggy's a stoner! Get it? He's high all the time! That's so cool!!!!111" Fuck you, cretins. Until you're able to function at a level greater than a five year old, please shoot yourself in the mouth. The same goes for the people who made those awful fucking movies.
The crossover episode with Batman is still pretty cool, though.
"I can prove to you that rape can be funny: picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Hey, why do you think they call him 'Porky'?"
- Carlin
When Karl Rove and the rest of TB talk about "energizing the base," I don't think this is quite what they're looking for. I like how right now CNN's page has a link to the National Council of Churches, with a little banner next to it that says"Celebrate God's gift of air." Unfortunately, the only air God seems to have given us is the hot air that normally comes from you people. Okay, okay, we'll cut them some slack today since they are breaking ranks to criticise the Administration on something they need to be criticized for. But can you guys tone it down with the "What would Jesus drive?" type shit? That kind of goofy title is not helping matters.
Finally, an answer as to what the fuck a hemi is and what's so goddamn special about it. I don't know shit about cars, and until now it just sounded to me like you were only getting half an engine.
I don't know what's worse: that someone put a child up for auction, or that someone else made the conscious decision of "Yeah, I'd pay 25.50 euros for an eight-year-old." One question: what was the "Buy it now" price?
Google search:
fucked up problems at birth funny pics
Unless if I'm misinterpreting things, this is probably the single worst Google hit I've ever gotten, and I get several awful hits a day. Hits so awful that I won't even post them and make jokes (usually something about fucking kids, of course). This one, however, deserves special mention. I don't really get offended by anything, other than the existence of people like this. You know, it's not just that they were looking for pictures of "problems at birth," since I get hits every now and then from people looking for non-child porn pictures of ill shit. It's that they were looking for such pictures to make them laugh. TCFM, who finds humor in lots of things that most other people find decidedly unfunny.
Whoever this Googler is needs to die in a car fire.
fucked up problems at birth funny pics
Unless if I'm misinterpreting things, this is probably the single worst Google hit I've ever gotten, and I get several awful hits a day. Hits so awful that I won't even post them and make jokes (usually something about fucking kids, of course). This one, however, deserves special mention. I don't really get offended by anything, other than the existence of people like this. You know, it's not just that they were looking for pictures of "problems at birth," since I get hits every now and then from people looking for non-child porn pictures of ill shit. It's that they were looking for such pictures to make them laugh. TCFM, who finds humor in lots of things that most other people find decidedly unfunny.
Whoever this Googler is needs to die in a car fire.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Google search:
fuck terrorism sticker
Yeah! Fuck terrorism! I don't like terrorism! Terrorism is mean!
Way to make a statement, assface.
fuck terrorism sticker
Yeah! Fuck terrorism! I don't like terrorism! Terrorism is mean!
Way to make a statement, assface.
If you're going to make claims like this, you had better damn well post some pictures to back them up.
Whatever. Like usual, I'll believe it when I see it.
"Who else sends suicide bombers to blow up cars in the midst of urban centers?"
Yeah, because only al Qaeda is capable of doing that kind of stuff - no one else can figure out the technology or the logistics. And as we all know, if it's not al Qaeda, it's "al Qaeda-like." Must be nice that they have a monopoly on terrorist attacks, and it sure helps simplify things for simple-minded people.
"Who else sends suicide bombers to blow up cars in the midst of urban centers?"
Yeah, because only al Qaeda is capable of doing that kind of stuff - no one else can figure out the technology or the logistics. And as we all know, if it's not al Qaeda, it's "al Qaeda-like." Must be nice that they have a monopoly on terrorist attacks, and it sure helps simplify things for simple-minded people.
One view on America and the Palestinian issue. It's all pretty idealistic, I don't know if any of it would work, and saying "when peace comes" is really getting pretty far ahead of ourselves.
The continual references to 1984 that we've heard in the past few years are, to say the least, bothersome. Not because people insist on continually drawing those parallels, but because they're able to do it so easily and for good reason.
A Guardian blurb on John Negroponte, current US ambassador to the UN, and future ambassador to Iraq.
Speaking of bad days for famous people, Kobe Bryant had some kind of setback in court and Michael Jackson was indicted by a grand jury for the child molestation charges he's facing. I'm not posting any links, because I don't care enough to read anything beyond the headlines. This is basically just so that we can all point and laugh at them.
All I have to ask is: WHY????
I can't understand why so many people give/gave such a huge shit about Princess Di. I mean, what the hell? Oh, yeah, that's right. People are A) shallow and B) stupid. But Christ. She wasn't even that attractive. For the royal family, I suppose, but that's not saying much. The whole obsession with the British Royal family is ridiculous. Oh, look everyone, overprivileged rich cunts with bad teeth.
"She was a lovely housewife who did some fine charity work. Period."
- Bill Maher on Diana
I can't understand why so many people give/gave such a huge shit about Princess Di. I mean, what the hell? Oh, yeah, that's right. People are A) shallow and B) stupid. But Christ. She wasn't even that attractive. For the royal family, I suppose, but that's not saying much. The whole obsession with the British Royal family is ridiculous. Oh, look everyone, overprivileged rich cunts with bad teeth.
"She was a lovely housewife who did some fine charity work. Period."
- Bill Maher on Diana
Google search:
japanese "fucked up teeth"
It just cracks me up that someone was doing this search, which of course hit on this post.
While we're on the subject, I've been forced to open up a fourth front in the war on terror against shitty schoolgirl sites. So go get some fresh Japanese jailbait porn while it's hot, even though it's not actually porn.
japanese "fucked up teeth"
It just cracks me up that someone was doing this search, which of course hit on this post.
While we're on the subject, I've been forced to open up a fourth front in the war
Shut your hole Wang Chung
Fuck some of this bullshit. If I were making a top ten list of the all-time best songs, I'd probably put "We Built This City," "Everybody Have Fun Tonight," and "The Heart of Rock & Roll" on it. Okay, not if it were a legitimate list, but those songs do still kick ass. Some of of the stuff on that list, though... Yeah, we'll give that to 'em. Still, fuck Blender. Is that the music magazine from Maxim? Fuck Maxim all the same.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
In the past half an hour, I've gotten five six seven hits from people doing searches for Gollum porn. STOP THAT Yes, I've complained about this before, but this is ridiculous. Look, if that's what you're into, that's fine. Hey, I'm into some sick shit myself, I can promise you that. But quit dragging your sickness around here, would 'ya please.
According to this, there's actually another website out there somewhere that has the Gollum shit these people are looking for. I'm not sure if that fact makes me feel better or not.
According to this, there's actually another website out there somewhere that has the Gollum shit these people are looking for. I'm not sure if that fact makes me feel better or not.
Yahoo search:
UAH AND girl AND nude
Back way the hell off dairy boy. I'll gut you from crotch to sternum like a rainbow trout.
UAH AND girl AND nude
Back way the hell off dairy boy. I'll gut you from crotch to sternum like a rainbow trout.
This week's Onion has one of the best "In the News" one-liners in history. It's right up there with "Owls are assholes," "Garth Brooks thinking a pie would be good right about now," and "Freemasons return to Jupiter."
There's a more constructive endeavor than beating off to Japanese jailbait porn?
Woo hoo! Someone finally showed up here at Fuck everything, hated this place with a passion, and even left a comment to this post saying so! All this hard work is finally paying off.
They say that they're gonna "be off doing more constructive shit than beating off to Japanese jailbait porn." Yeah, like taking the time to read my shitty blog and then comment on it! In fact, they were doing a Google search for Itagaki Bullshit. That sounds constructive!
I'll bet it would piss Pirate off to know that he/she/it just made my fucking day. In fact, this is one of the best days ever here at Fe. Anger and hatred are fuel. Word is bond. Fuckin' A.
They say that they're gonna "be off doing more constructive shit than beating off to Japanese jailbait porn." Yeah, like taking the time to read my shitty blog and then comment on it! In fact, they were doing a Google search for Itagaki Bullshit. That sounds constructive!
I'll bet it would piss Pirate off to know that he/she/it just made my fucking day. In fact, this is one of the best days ever here at Fe. Anger and hatred are fuel. Word is bond. Fuckin' A.
Just when I thought sushi night couldn't get any better. Actually, to be completely honest, I don't really care how hot she is. I'd rather not eat food that's been sitting on anyone's body. I also like to keep my raw fish separated. Can't she just be hot and naked and doing something else like, say, serving us? That way, we get our sushi and we're still demeaning women. I like the line about "certain clientele." Certain? Yeah, certain, alright. Also, I find it amusing that someplace in China, a country world renowned for human rights violations, is getting pissed over this.
Google search:
Pornography of the Olsen Twins
This is another class of search hit that I am fucking sick and tired of, and I want the people making them to die. Looking for porn of people who clearly wouldn't be in porn. We have a hat trick here: the Olsen Twins are ultra-famous, have an ultra-pure image (depite the quintillions of decidedly non-pure fantasies and whatnot about them running around out there... like this Google searcher, for instance), and ARE TOO FUCKING YOUNG TO EVEN BE IN PORN YOU STUPID FAT LOSER FUCK.
Pornography of the Olsen Twins
This is another class of search hit that I am fucking sick and tired of, and I want the people making them to die. Looking for porn of people who clearly wouldn't be in porn. We have a hat trick here: the Olsen Twins are ultra-famous, have an ultra-pure image (depite the quintillions of decidedly non-pure fantasies and whatnot about them running around out there... like this Google searcher, for instance), and ARE TOO FUCKING YOUNG TO EVEN BE IN PORN YOU STUPID FAT LOSER FUCK.
Afterhourszone search:
sluts looking for prick
Why would sluts go looking for Prick? Despite being produced by Trent Reznor back when he was still good (see: pre that double disc disgrace), Prick wasn't a very good band. Except for that anti-fur song, of course.
sluts looking for prick
Why would sluts go looking for Prick? Despite being produced by Trent Reznor back when he was still good (see: pre that double disc disgrace), Prick wasn't a very good band. Except for that anti-fur song, of course.
A few things brought up by this article:
- Stop with all the polls bullshit. They're fucking meaningless at this point. We have more than half a year to go before the election. Everything is going to be blown out of the water once the attack ads are in full force, the R convention in New York plays up 9/11 until we're bleeding from the eyes and ears, and Osama is magically found at just the right time.
- Thanks for running around defending the PATRIOT Act, Bush. I had almost forgotten how fucking much I hate you.
- Speaking of our friend PATRIOT, let's keep in mind that Bush not only wants it renewed in full, but expanded.
- One more PATRIOT note: yes, the act does have some merits. Allowing information sharing between agencies seems like a good idea. Things like judicial oversight and due process weren't such great ideas, apparently.
- ``He was paying for terrorists to kill.'' Isn't this a reference to Saddam paying the families of suicide bombers? First off, he wasn't paying for terrorists to kill, he was paying for terrorists who had already killed and weren't going to be doing any more killing. There's a difference. Second, I'm sick and tired of hearing this - TB has repeated it time and time again, mainly because it's about the only solid link to terrorism that TB has come up with. Just like the only WMD case they have is that Saddam used WMD... Back in the 80s.
Fuck Jim Benneman and fuck Adele Arakawa
So, it's the fifth anniversary of Columbine. Am I safe in assuming 9News will be ramming Columbine stories up everyone's ass this week? I've mentioned before how much local news pisses me off when it comes to covering the story. And I understand why it's that way - like I said, news people are sick. Columbine was like Colorado's own personal 9/11, and they will never let it rest as long as they can milk it for something.
WE'RE LOSING EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
Look, I understand the motivations behind the PC movement. I really do. There's a lot of shit in our language that does nothing but promote white male dominance, enforce racism, etc. The PC movement, I think, started with the intent of fixing that stuff, but there are numerous cases where it has gone too far. Have we gone too far with the X-American labeling of groups, where X is some racial subgroup? I'm asking this as a serious question, because I don't know and I don't think I'm qualified to answer it. I mean, I can look to the half of my lineage that's not white - Hispanic, American Indian - and I don't necessarily feel like I'm maligning my heritage when I don't feel the need to use PC terms to describe those aspects of my blood. On the other hand, despite that half non-white part of me, I have to face facts that I'm pretty fucking white and embarrassingly non-ethnic despite what some of my ancestors might have to say about it.
For those who do fall into one of the "X" categories who don't suffer from my lame ambiguity, do you feel the need to have your race referred to as "X-American," or are you fine with one of the more - for lack of a better term - traditional names? And of course, I'm referring to the non-racist names. Or is anything non-PC racist now? I suppose there's probably no easy answer, because it depends on what label is being used and the particular person who's using that label.
Look, I understand the motivations behind the PC movement. I really do. There's a lot of shit in our language that does nothing but promote white male dominance, enforce racism, etc. The PC movement, I think, started with the intent of fixing that stuff, but there are numerous cases where it has gone too far. Have we gone too far with the X-American labeling of groups, where X is some racial subgroup? I'm asking this as a serious question, because I don't know and I don't think I'm qualified to answer it. I mean, I can look to the half of my lineage that's not white - Hispanic, American Indian - and I don't necessarily feel like I'm maligning my heritage when I don't feel the need to use PC terms to describe those aspects of my blood. On the other hand, despite that half non-white part of me, I have to face facts that I'm pretty fucking white and embarrassingly non-ethnic despite what some of my ancestors might have to say about it.
For those who do fall into one of the "X" categories who don't suffer from my lame ambiguity, do you feel the need to have your race referred to as "X-American," or are you fine with one of the more - for lack of a better term - traditional names? And of course, I'm referring to the non-racist names. Or is anything non-PC racist now? I suppose there's probably no easy answer, because it depends on what label is being used and the particular person who's using that label.
This woman is getting a doctorate in communications and she's worried about broadband being wasteful?
Monday, April 19, 2004
Pati, 'blogmaster of Celtic Cross and frequent Fe commenter, has started a new 'blog: Bitching & Moaning. It's a happy place.
I've found religion
Over my years in math, science, & engineering, I've found two basic groups of people: the TI camp, and the HP camp. Yup, who we are as people and professionals really just comes down the calculator we use. Okay, that's not true. I, personally, am much, much less than the calculator I use. But that's just me. I'm a TI guy, mainly since they hooked me on TIs back during my freshman year of high school when they suggested we purchase a TI-82. I remember my mother not being too thrilled at the suggestion that I needed an $80 calculator, but I ended up getting it. And so it began.
I never was a huge guru in programming that bad boy, but I put in some hours. I seem to remember wasting inordinate amounts of time in the library trying to perfect my Star Trek interface and set of sub-programs as well as attempting to find a formula for the warp power curve. Man, I'd say that I've come a long way since then, but at least I was hanging out with friends in the library. This was the days before driving, mind you, so places like the library and the Social Studies Resource Center were where it was at. You know, for the losers.
Jesus Christ my life sucks. Anyway...
Senior year they came out with the TI-92. Full QWERTY keyboard. Advanced mathematics capabilities, symbolic manipulation, big screen, "pretty print," etc. I certainly didn't need one of these monstrosities, so I got one. There's no fucking way I could be rolling around with my 82 when there was this monument to excess available at stores. This thing was so fucking cool that I had no choice but to refer to it as God. I had given up on the whole religion thing by then, but if there was anything in life worth worshipping it was that goddamn calculator. A friend of mine was, well, let's call him a Christian Conservative. Believe it or not, we got along quite well, despite the fact that we disagreed on everything except for the facts that Jenny McCarthy was hot (back when she was hot and not talking much) and Command & Conquer is fun. Anyway, he took exception to us referring to the 92 as "God," but he also could not deny the power that the calculator possessed. As such, he nicknamed it the TI-G.O.D. (gee-oh-dee), and the name stuck.
Owning this calculator is fun. I just love leaving it on my desk at work or somewhere and watching the inevitable parade of people asking "What the fuck is that thing?" Or some variant thereof. Again, people may not believe in deifying the TI-G.O.D., but they too cannot ignore that, technically, it's as hard as steel.
Of course, the trusty ol' 82 was not just tossed aside when I got the 92... Since teachers wouldn't let me use the 92 when we were taking tests. The 82 also came in handy as a pawn during college when (I think) ETP somehow ended up owing someone an 82 so I just offered mine up.
The 92 has been my trusty sidekick for like six or seven years now. Sophomore year of college it got an upgrade when they came out with the "Plus Module," which ETP and I simply refer to as the Dork Module. It added differential equation capabilities, units, and all sorts of unnecessary shit. But, just like with the original 92 acquisition, I could not be satisfied with not having the top-of-the-line. Also purchased was the TI Graph-Link cable, giving me the capability to download shit online and transfer it to the Machine. Hell yeah, bitch.
The 92+ (as 92s with the Dork Module are known) is no longer the top of the line, as TI has since come out with the Voyage 200, the 92's successor. I've managed to cast aside the need for the top-of-the-line (read: most expensive) and just stick with the 92 plus Dork Module. Part of the reason is because "Voyage 200" is a weak-ass name for such a monument to awesomeness. Why not just stick with the running theme and call it the TI-95 or something? Okay, okay, I can at least admit that I've thought about buying it, but I don't think I'm gonna. Actually, I've been thinking of getting the "Titanium" version of the TI-89 when it comes out, so that I have something with 92 capabilities in the old-school 82 form-factor for increased portability. I think that if I do, it will have to be called the TI-Jesus (pronounced Hay-seuss).
So anyway, why the fuck am I telling you this long, boring story about my history of calculator purchases, other than to point out what a fucking loser I am and to add another reason to the "Why I'm never going to have a girlfriend" list? Oh yeah, to post a link to ticalc.org. If you've got a programmable TI calculator, chances are you're aware of this site already, and this was just another unnecessary exploration into my pitiful life. One thing that may be of particular note is the section on overclocking for those (like me) who are never satisfied with anything.
Wow, I just wasted about a half an hour talking about my calculator. Did I mention that my life sucks?
I never was a huge guru in programming that bad boy, but I put in some hours. I seem to remember wasting inordinate amounts of time in the library trying to perfect my Star Trek interface and set of sub-programs as well as attempting to find a formula for the warp power curve. Man, I'd say that I've come a long way since then, but at least I was hanging out with friends in the library. This was the days before driving, mind you, so places like the library and the Social Studies Resource Center were where it was at. You know, for the losers.
Jesus Christ my life sucks. Anyway...
Senior year they came out with the TI-92. Full QWERTY keyboard. Advanced mathematics capabilities, symbolic manipulation, big screen, "pretty print," etc. I certainly didn't need one of these monstrosities, so I got one. There's no fucking way I could be rolling around with my 82 when there was this monument to excess available at stores. This thing was so fucking cool that I had no choice but to refer to it as God. I had given up on the whole religion thing by then, but if there was anything in life worth worshipping it was that goddamn calculator. A friend of mine was, well, let's call him a Christian Conservative. Believe it or not, we got along quite well, despite the fact that we disagreed on everything except for the facts that Jenny McCarthy was hot (back when she was hot and not talking much) and Command & Conquer is fun. Anyway, he took exception to us referring to the 92 as "God," but he also could not deny the power that the calculator possessed. As such, he nicknamed it the TI-G.O.D. (gee-oh-dee), and the name stuck.
Owning this calculator is fun. I just love leaving it on my desk at work or somewhere and watching the inevitable parade of people asking "What the fuck is that thing?" Or some variant thereof. Again, people may not believe in deifying the TI-G.O.D., but they too cannot ignore that, technically, it's as hard as steel.
Of course, the trusty ol' 82 was not just tossed aside when I got the 92... Since teachers wouldn't let me use the 92 when we were taking tests. The 82 also came in handy as a pawn during college when (I think) ETP somehow ended up owing someone an 82 so I just offered mine up.
The 92 has been my trusty sidekick for like six or seven years now. Sophomore year of college it got an upgrade when they came out with the "Plus Module," which ETP and I simply refer to as the Dork Module. It added differential equation capabilities, units, and all sorts of unnecessary shit. But, just like with the original 92 acquisition, I could not be satisfied with not having the top-of-the-line. Also purchased was the TI Graph-Link cable, giving me the capability to download shit online and transfer it to the Machine. Hell yeah, bitch.
The 92+ (as 92s with the Dork Module are known) is no longer the top of the line, as TI has since come out with the Voyage 200, the 92's successor. I've managed to cast aside the need for the top-of-the-line (read: most expensive) and just stick with the 92 plus Dork Module. Part of the reason is because "Voyage 200" is a weak-ass name for such a monument to awesomeness. Why not just stick with the running theme and call it the TI-95 or something? Okay, okay, I can at least admit that I've thought about buying it, but I don't think I'm gonna. Actually, I've been thinking of getting the "Titanium" version of the TI-89 when it comes out, so that I have something with 92 capabilities in the old-school 82 form-factor for increased portability. I think that if I do, it will have to be called the TI-Jesus (pronounced Hay-seuss).
So anyway, why the fuck am I telling you this long, boring story about my history of calculator purchases, other than to point out what a fucking loser I am and to add another reason to the "Why I'm never going to have a girlfriend" list? Oh yeah, to post a link to ticalc.org. If you've got a programmable TI calculator, chances are you're aware of this site already, and this was just another unnecessary exploration into my pitiful life. One thing that may be of particular note is the section on overclocking for those (like me) who are never satisfied with anything.
Wow, I just wasted about a half an hour talking about my calculator. Did I mention that my life sucks?
Some new linkers who deserve their big ups from tha H Dogg:
Fables of the reconstruction (this guy ony wishes I was stealing his schtick!)(although it's not the focus of his site, watch out for the one nudie pic currently on his front page if you're at work)
Fresburger Blog
Bizarlaritz
Fables of the reconstruction (this guy ony wishes I was stealing his schtick!)(although it's not the focus of his site, watch out for the one nudie pic currently on his front page if you're at work)
Fresburger Blog
Bizarlaritz
Sunday, April 18, 2004
I always thought that working in automotive safety testing would be cool. Assuming you're one of the people who gets to push buttons and watch brand-new cars slam into walls, that is. That and having your blaster's permit are about the coolest fucking occupations I can think of, other than maybe being the costume consultant for a movie with a bunch of schoolgirls. As I pointed out this weekend (you weren't there), I would do that shit for free.
I also love the ratings system the car crash guys have. "Poor," "acceptable," and "good." That's a cynic's system if I ever saw one. No matter what rating you get, you can't be all that pleased with it. "Hey everybody, good news! We put millions of dollars into R&D and we got an... Acceptable!"
I also love the ratings system the car crash guys have. "Poor," "acceptable," and "good." That's a cynic's system if I ever saw one. No matter what rating you get, you can't be all that pleased with it. "Hey everybody, good news! We put millions of dollars into R&D and we got an... Acceptable!"
Virtual church. Go on; click the link so you know I didn't just make that up. Oh, man, the possible one-liners are so endless that I don't even know where to begin. How about here?
- Now worshipping God can be as stupid and goofy as the very concept of worshipping God.
- If you're so lazy that you have to go to church online, aren't you just automatically going to hell? I picture someone logging on, and God himself coming down and saying "You call yourself a believer? Dude."
- How many people do you think will have church open in one window, and porn open in another, if not several others?
- Church of Fools. Department of Redundancy Department.
- How exactly are children supposed to get molested in virtual church? This isn't church!
Including who?
Google search:
I'm so bitter and cynical. I hate everything and everyone including
I had BETTER be the #1 search result for this, and I'm proud to say that I am.
I'm so bitter and cynical. I hate everything and everyone including
I had BETTER be the #1 search result for this, and I'm proud to say that I am.
This is another thing I'm fucking sick and tired of. Actually, two things.
One is this bullshit trend of turning a personal tragedy into an even bigger travesty. Taking personal loss and trying to turn it into a cash grab. I don't want to hear any bullshit, because that's a big part of what this is. Going after not just the brewery, who was clearly at that party handing out free Coors since underage kids would NEVER drink alcohol, but after the girlfriend and her mother (who gave her the car) as well. We saw a lot of this kind of shit here in Colorado after Columbine. People who suffered a personal tragedy and decided that the world owes them. Look, I'm sorry your kid was killed. Really, I am. Well, unless if your kid was an asshole. I obviously have no idea what it must be like to go though that, and I hope that I never do. But just because something bad happened doesn't mean that you should get to shit all over common sense and decency.
The other thing, of course, is personal responsibility. Just like people suing tobacco companies well after we knew cigarettes were bad, just like people suing McDonald's because they couldn't stop feeding their fat fucking faces those heart attacks in a bag, and just like people who sue gun companies for making the guns that some maniac uses to kill people, we have people suing alcohol companies when someone else got drunk and fucked something up. And there's the bottom line, lady: your kid fucked up. Unfortunately, it got him killed. Also unfortunate is the fact that there's no one to blame but this kid. He's the one who decided to go to the party. He's the one who decided to get shithammered. He's the one who made the decision (albeit an impaired one) to drive without a license and drive that car at 90 miles an hour.
Oh, and maybe you share some blame, lady, for not teaching your kid to not be such a fucking idiot. Yes, I know, harsh bud. Especially considering the fact that this woman will probably be blaming herself for the rest of her life for what happened. As pissed off as this makes me, I'm not unsympathetic. But Jesus, lady. You - like oh so many other people in situations like this - need to stop sublimating your own anger, sadness, and frustration in a manner like this. Like I said, I obviously don't know what the fuck I'm talking about (as always) since I've never been though this. But just because you've suffered doesn't make what you're doing right. And I just don't see how you can give yourself any sense of personal closure (if that's possible with a loss like this) when you drag it out in such a manner.
One is this bullshit trend of turning a personal tragedy into an even bigger travesty. Taking personal loss and trying to turn it into a cash grab. I don't want to hear any bullshit, because that's a big part of what this is. Going after not just the brewery, who was clearly at that party handing out free Coors since underage kids would NEVER drink alcohol, but after the girlfriend and her mother (who gave her the car) as well. We saw a lot of this kind of shit here in Colorado after Columbine. People who suffered a personal tragedy and decided that the world owes them. Look, I'm sorry your kid was killed. Really, I am. Well, unless if your kid was an asshole. I obviously have no idea what it must be like to go though that, and I hope that I never do. But just because something bad happened doesn't mean that you should get to shit all over common sense and decency.
The other thing, of course, is personal responsibility. Just like people suing tobacco companies well after we knew cigarettes were bad, just like people suing McDonald's because they couldn't stop feeding their fat fucking faces those heart attacks in a bag, and just like people who sue gun companies for making the guns that some maniac uses to kill people, we have people suing alcohol companies when someone else got drunk and fucked something up. And there's the bottom line, lady: your kid fucked up. Unfortunately, it got him killed. Also unfortunate is the fact that there's no one to blame but this kid. He's the one who decided to go to the party. He's the one who decided to get shithammered. He's the one who made the decision (albeit an impaired one) to drive without a license and drive that car at 90 miles an hour.
Oh, and maybe you share some blame, lady, for not teaching your kid to not be such a fucking idiot. Yes, I know, harsh bud. Especially considering the fact that this woman will probably be blaming herself for the rest of her life for what happened. As pissed off as this makes me, I'm not unsympathetic. But Jesus, lady. You - like oh so many other people in situations like this - need to stop sublimating your own anger, sadness, and frustration in a manner like this. Like I said, I obviously don't know what the fuck I'm talking about (as always) since I've never been though this. But just because you've suffered doesn't make what you're doing right. And I just don't see how you can give yourself any sense of personal closure (if that's possible with a loss like this) when you drag it out in such a manner.
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