Alright, so Fuck everything may or may not be in some trouble. I won't explain the circumstances, but a few people in my family are now vaguely aware of the fact that I have a website entitled Fuck everything. My aunt, my cousins, and probably my mother presently have this notion. My aunt and cousins want to know where they can find my site, and so far, I've just tried to avoid the issue by telling them that I'll e-mail them the URL, hoping they'll just forget about it. But, no, they will probably end up here at some point, reading this fucking post no doubt.

Now, don't get me wrong here. I've already pointed out what a momma's boy I am, even if I do bitch about her obsessive-compulsive tendencies (tendencies which I myself have inherited). My aunt is super cool, because otherwise I would not have made two trips in about a month's time to Okla-fucking-homa to visit her and my uncle (in their defense, neither is an Oklahoma native). My cousins are also very cool, which they must be seeing as how they managed to get me to go downtown and out to bars this evening when I should have been drinking alone and updating Serafuku. And no, I'm not just kissing ass here because I'm expecting them to show up some day.

The reason why this is problematic is because I don't want any extra excuses to self-censor myself. It should be fairly evident that I don't do a whole lot of self-censoring here. Of course, there's bound to be some shit that I'm gonna hold back on, but to be honest I lay out quite a bit here, and I don't keep much in the closet. But if it gets to the point where I'm always worried about what X, Y, or Z is gonna think, or if I'm holding back on posting certain things that I otherwise would have posted, it's going to completely ruin this for me. I will fucking quit Fe if things get too bad, and I am not fucking bullshitting for once. Although I do like being a source of entertainment for others, the purpose of this site is primarily to entertain ME. That's how it's been since day one, and, quite frankly, that's what makes Fe what it is.

You see, it's not even so much that I'm worried about anyone in my family knowing my personal demons, because the people I'm close to already have an idea about all that. And yeah, it's not like my mother doesn't know what those magazines wrapped in plastic are about that come to our house. That kind of stuff has never been an issue with us.

It's just that I don't think that anyone in my family really needs to (or wants to) know about my sailor schoolgirl fetish. I don't really want to give my mother anything else to worry about by laying out posts talking about what a pathetic, lonely loser I feel like for not having a girlfriend. I've never busted out these stories (and pray I never do), but I brought a lot of worry to a lot of people back when I was in high school. I'm still pissed at myself for having done it, and I sure as hell don't want to do it again. Especially since, despite my crankiness and my moods, I am doing pretty well, so any worry would be completely unnecessary. And besides, writing posts where I'm passing along porn tips is just kinda creepy in that context. I half expect some blind motherfucker to burst into my apartment screaming at me about how I'm taking the first steps down the wrong path.

So yeah, the main worries are that I don't want anyone worrying, I don't want anyone creeped out, and I don't want to be getting any phone calls because of a 'blog post I made. Yeah, I know, I could just lie or bullshit my way out of this, but I'm really not big on that course of action. Well, nevermind, I'm already lying since I'm trying to avoid giving them the URL. No surprise there, since avoidance is typically how I try and get out of outright lies. I suppose another course of action would be to get my shit together so that there wouldn't be any posts that might be problematic, but let's face it, that is not going to happen.

We'll just have to see how this pans out. You know what the end result will most likely be? I'm overdramatizing this, LIKE ALWAYS (I'm so going to fail this semester!!!!), and whether or not people in my family start reading, this 'blog will be the EXACT same piece of shit it has always been.