Oh, so it's March Madness. There are few things I could give less than a fuck about than college basketball. God, I hate basketball. Nothing but a bunch of guys running up and down the floor over and over again with those squeaky fucking shoes. I can't wait until this stupid basketball bullshit is over so that the second airing of JFR's show stops getting preempted by college basketball or, even worse, high school basketball. If you're into prep sports, please, do us all a favor and shoot yourself. In fact, if you consider yourself a "hoops junkie" at all, please do the same. Basketball is for losers.

But at least it's not soccer.