So, it was college football kickoff weekend these past couple of days. Woo hoo. My alma mater won, beating their in-state rival. Woo fucking hoo again.

College sports piss me off. I know what you're saying - "Something pisses you off? That can't be." But it's true. I fucking hate college athletics.

Not all college sports, mainly basketball and football. Others, like crew team, are fine. Hell, crew team is fucking gay anyway, and as we all know, I'm down with the gay community.

Actually, it's really just the fans I hate. No, wait, I just remembered how I hate the athletes, too. So much anger, so little time.

What pisses me off about college sports fans, especially the really rabid ones, is the fact that they're getting wood over a bunch of fucking kids. Not "wood" and "kids" in the Catholic Priest sense, even though both are apparently accepted in this society. Anyway, a lot of these fans either have never had athletic ability, or once had it and lost it. They just want to live vicariously through guys half their age who have the ability to throw round or oblong objects around. They're basically as bad as the guys who play fantasy sports, who desperately wish they could manage their own club, but can't (As a note, this isn't any sort of personal attack on a certain someone; I know you're not trying to fulfill your shattered dreams of being a pro coach. However, you did pay the price of admission, so you're still a pussy, just in a better way). Also, like with most things, I'm generalizing. Not all fans are like this, but plenty of them are.

I don't know, it just seems so fucked up to idolize guys half your age. This is what you grew up for?

I, on the other hand, have decided to take a different route. I don't worship or idolize college sports stars; I hate them. Obviously, a lot of my hatred comes from jealousy. These guys are big, athletic, and can get women. I sometimes just wonder what it would be like to wander around campus, saying "I could fuck that chick, I could fuck that chick...." Instead of "That chick doesn't see me, that chick doesn't see me... And, I'm going to kill myself." Okay, I've never thought that until now, but the point stands.

And why do these guys get the glory? Because they can do shit with a ball. I can solve systems of differential equations (with some review), these guys can run fast. I know, doing DiffEq shit isn't entertaining, but still. Do you realize how fucking stupid some of these guys are? I'm not saying all of them, OK. Some of them really are bright, and I respect that, and probably don't hate them as much. But seriously, I once saw a college game where one of the players was MAJORING in GENERAL STUDIES. Not "undecided" or "undeclared" (which are sometimes counted as a major in statistics), but general fucking studies. I'll bet that "major" was made up specifically for athletes. These guys get a free ride to school for this shit. Meanwhile, a double-E with a 3.9 gets next to nothing.

Yes, I'm envious. Yes, I'm bitter. But at least I'll admit it, instead of sublimating it into this machismo bullshit of being a "college hoops junkie." I know that "admitting it" doesn't amount to shit, but sometimes I like to think it does.

The only comfort is knowing that most of these kids are going to not go on to pro careers, instead landing in jobs in the food service industry. Some will make it, but that can't be helped. Either way, they will some day begin breaking down into crying fits, longing for their "glory days."

I realize that the idolizing of men half your age applies to most sports, but for some reason college sports piss me off the most. Again, I think it's just bitterness, since I was recently a college student, and essentially one of these kids' peers. As yet, they end up getting all of this attention and all of my tuition money so they can continue to do shit with a ball.

Hey, so I was reading Danny's complaints about pop-ups. Did I mention that the latest versions of Mozilla have a fucking kick-ass popup blocker built in? I think I completely forgot to mention this capability of both Mozilla and Mozilla Firebird. The fact that I never see pop-ups unless I want to has just become a fact of life to me, and I've started taking it for granted. And with all the pr0n I download, this is a major fucking blessing from the Mozilla codemonkeys.

Gee, I can't imagine why Arnold would shy away from debating the issues with his opponents.

You know, if Arnold does get elected, it's going to continue the scary figurehead precedent that Bush set. You know, a really powerful leader who doesn't do any work himself except stand there. Bush's team is just running the show, and it looks like the same goes for Arnold. Former Governor Pete Wilson is his campaign co-chair and "mentor." Jimmy Bu- er, Warren Buffet is his economic advisor. Arnold is... Arnold is the famous guy.

Hey, are you pissed? If not, you will be after reading this lovely nugget I came aross. Okay, maybe you'll be like me, and you won't really get pissed, because you're already pissed. But it will give your eyes something to do as they roll in their sockets.

I'm going to wait until I'm actually in a good mood (which should be any day now...) and read more of the bullshit from that site.

Another link today, and a hearty Fuck Everything shoutout to Danny over at The Ides.

Hey, so I'm decently good with grammar and stuff. Seriously. If you ever read a post which doesn't make sense, or has some obvious spelling errors or whatever, hit reload a few times. Hey, I said if the post is incoherent, not shitty. I have this habit of writing a post, posting it, then proofreading it. I tend to do about 200 iterations before I get the post just how I want it.

Why do I do this? Basically because this allows me to have my shitty website on the "10 Most Recently Published Blogs" list on one of Blogger's webpages over and over again. So far, it's one of the best marketing tactics I've come up with, because it seems to generate a decent number of hits. Sometimes, I'll just make a minor change or no change at all just to get the link up there.

Hey, don't call me desperate for attention, pigfucker.

Okay, seriously, I'm going to bed now.

Okay, so remember my probably mostly useless WWDN ad campaign? I don't know why I'm bringing that up, expcept maybe to put in context the fact that WWDN has text ads. Of course, if you know about my ad, you already know this fact. Either way, why you would give a fuck, I don't know, but it's past 5 AM, and I'm not exactly what we'd call "fully coherent." No, not drunk or in any other chemically altered state, just tired. So you're like, "why don't you just fucking go to sleep, dumbass?" And I'm like, "well, I would, if you'd get off my fucking ass and let me finish this post."

Huh? What the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah.

Anyway, I come across this text ad that says some bullshit like "When was the last time... she totally melted for you?" And I'm saying to myself, what? I never dated the Wicked Witch of the West. But for the fuck of it, I decided to see what the hell it was about.

You know what it turns out this cocksucker is selling? A book on how to score with women. You know what the first thing that comes to mind is? Those shitty advice articles in Maxim, Stuff, and the like on how to score with women. God, are those things pathetic. About the only thing more pathetic has gotta be the guy who follows those advice articles. I knew a guy who thought those magazines gave good advice; he's dead now.

Honestly, if I'm going to crash and burn, which I will on the rare occasion I muster up the courage to talk to someone I'm interested in, I might as well crash and burn on my own lack of skills. No sense crashing and burning on someone else's lack of skills.

To cast aside sarcasm for a minute (don't get too used to this), it's bullshit like this that has me disillusioned on the whole dating thing anyway. It seems like it's all about playing games, and not being yourself. The fact that Maxim advice and stupid books like the one I came across this morning are a testament to that. Granted, I'm not going to get anyone being myself. I know you must be saying "What? A nice, personable, mild-mannered guy like you?" (see, sarcasm's back). But as Captain Picard said, "If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for who we really are." Oh, yeah. Star Trek quotes. That gets 'em wet.

Okay, enough self-deprecation and feeling sorry for myself. On with the show.

What always makes me laugh and roll my eyes is that a lot of those surefire pussy getters are written by a "woman," so you instantly know it must work if it was written by a woman. I think I would actually trust it less if it were written by a woman. Seriously, I would just say to myself "Okay, maybe this works... On her." This isn't a crack on women, but they're all so different and can't make up their minds anyway, making one woman's advice is completely useless when applied to another woman. One woman likes this, another woman likes that. There's just no consistency to make most "advice" worthwhile.

Okay, so I guess that was kind of a crack on women. Why you gotta be like 'dat, baby?

I... I think I know this guy...

Man, have the last few gas fill-ups been painful. I just love being dependent on foreign oil. Well, I'm always torn between wanting to complain, and realizing that it's like Bill Maher says - gas prices may go up, but when you think about it, it's not all that bad. I do a lot of driving, but I'm fortunate enough to get better gas mileage than god in my car.

It'd just be nice if we could get our shit together and not have to worry so much about it. I'm not really even that concerned with paying more for gas, I'm more concerned with how this country has sould its soul for cheap oil. Concerned with all the fucking trouble we get ourselves into to keep the oil companies and our Middle East "allies" happy. And just a teency bit worried what happens when we run out of dead dinosaurs to run our Ford Fuck You Mobiles.

Oh, good. The stories supporting how things are under control just keep rolling in.

You know what sucks? I can't find the "Tecmo Super Bowl Ate My Balls" webpage anymore. Also, it looks like quite a few of Krazy Keith's Ate My Balls links that we came across like 5 years ago are dead now. It's never going to be good again.

So, time to give mad props to some more people who have written and/or linked me. I may be an asshole, but I at least try and give credit where credit is due. I don't know what's wrong with these people, but whatever it is I'm glad for it.

I got a great e-mail from Goody a few nights ago. In addition to the 'blog, her up and coming website is located here.

This guy thinks Fuck Everything is the "angriest blog on the planet." That, right there, is a compliment.

Finally, a big thanks to the 'blogmaster over at insinuendo for the front page link.

Yeah, we are so totally shithammered here. Is there any way we can turn this mess around? Hell, even if Bush is voted out of office, we still have this huge pile of rubbish that is going to have to be cleaned up.

Gee, I just love drug companies.

Nice to see all the little children getting along.

Mississippi, in a surprise move...

It's sick how much support and publicity Moore is getting. Not like I'm helping, but not like keeping silent would change anything. Well, this bullshit worked for him once before, propelling him to the head of Alabama's Supreme court, so I'm sure he's thinking why not try it again?

"I had hoped and prayed that the courts would stand up for our rights..." Yeah, asshole, shouldn't that tell you that not even God is on your side?

So has anyone else been following the saga of Dr. David Kelly over in Britain? There's an inquiry into the affair going on right now, the Hutton Inquiry. For anyone who hasn't heard of this mess, at one point, the BBC was running a story saying that Tony Blair's government had "sexed up" its intelligence on Iraq, in particular a claim that Iraq could launch an attack within 45 minutes as part of the infamous "dossier" that Tony Blair presented. Of course, belief that intelligence on Iraq was doctored to make Iraq look like a bigger threat than it really was is nothing new, but it was leaked that the BBC's source was a British Ministry of Defence official. Dr. David Kelly, and MoD weapons advisor, was named as the BBC's source, a claim denied by the BBC. He began undergoing questioning by an inquiry board, and not too long after being thrust into the unpleasant spotlight, he was found dead in a field with his wrists slashed.

The Hutton Inquiry once again has Tony Blair in hot water. Like usual, I can't help but feel a little sorry for Tony. Maybe he really is just evil, but the guy is obviously smarter than some world leaders I can name, and he at least puts on a good show that he's helping us in Iraq because he really feels it's the right thing to do. Of course, I'm also convinced that he just wants to ride American coattails to glory, so in the end, whatever happens to him is his fault.

The thing that really pisses me off is that Tony Blair is taking all the heat for this issue alone. Bush, on the other hand, has had to deal with a little media badgering here and there, but hasn't had to put up with as much shit as Mr. Blair. I'm pretty sure that's the case, because I don't read as much British press as American, and it still seems like someone is always riding Tony's ass over Iraq, and probably rightly so. Still, I can't help but be irritated that the guy who seems intelligent and seems to at least partly be doing this for the right reasons is having to share the blame all alone. Meanwhile, our dumbass head of government (I hate referring to Bush as 'President', if you haven't noticed) who is fucking stupid and/or just plain evil isn't having anywhere near as difficult a time as he deserves.

The latest on the talks with North Korea... Which isn't much.

Again, an example of what separates the hacks (like me) from real journalists (like Dowd).

Holy fucking shit. I just fucking KNEW that I got stiffed way back in the 80's. This is what I've been waiting my whole life for. The Gadgetmobile. And it looks like it's in shitty condition, too. Bonus!

You know what, you guys? It sounds like you've got other shit to deal with. We won't mind if you just punt on this one.

So you know how I'm always harping on how "The neocons are up to evil shit, but we never know until it's too late"? I haven't been real good on going on the offensive and reading more conservative press, obviously. Today though, I realized I may have already hit on the "next big thing" a long time ago.

I'm driving in to work today, and I can't get the words "single-party state" out of my head. I mentioned this before, way back on May 8th. In late June, Paul Krugman had an editorial in The New York Times about the possibility of becoming a one-party state. At least one journalist from a major newspaper has discussed this, so I know I can't be completely crazy for thinking it.

You don't think it's possible? We have a Republican President, a Republican House, and a Republican Senate. We have a press that seems to be terrified of going after the Republican-led government. We have a weak, divided "opposition" in the Democrats. Sounds like we could be well on our way.

Furthermore, we have a consolidation of power taking place. The Republicans got into office, and have used September 11th to galvanize their strength. September 11th could end up being our Reichstag fire.

Of course, we would never have a death camp, charismatic-leader type single party state. No, this is America, where we're good at illusion and lying to ourselves. The Democrats would still be around, but they'd be even more diminished than they are today. Propaganda is an obvious entity that we already have plenty of. There wouldn't be any "thought police," but plenty of pseudo-patriotic and religious rhetoric to try and keep us in line. Again, something we already have plenty of. And there would be plenty more bullshit efforts like the one to codify in law that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. One party enforcing their laws, their policies, their morals, and their beliefs.

The Republicans are smart, and they're patient - just like terrorists. They know that it's going to take some time to get where they want to be, and they're willing to work and to wait.

Everyone knows I'm not fond of the GOP, and I'm sure this just looks like yet another attack on them. But we cannot let the GOP become the "dominant governing party in the country for a generation" as Karl Rove would like. Effective single party rule would be indescribably bad, no matter where you are on the political spectrum. Of course, ask Republicans, and none of them would admit how much they'd love this single-party scenario. Just like a company that repeats the mantra of "competition is good," when they know full well how nice having a monopoly is when they can get away with it.

The only hope of putting a kink in their plans is to vote Bush out of office next November. It pains me to say it, because they're weak and I hate them too, but the Democrats are our only hope. The problem is, I'm afraid that if the Democrats actually started taking a stand and taking action, it could backfire and they could be left even weaker than before. The Republicans are masters of letting the Democrats fuck themselves, and I'm afraid that even if the Dems did the right thing, they could end up accelerating exactly what I fear. Furthermore, even if Bush was pushed out, it may not completely derail what's been going on, only delaying the inevitable.

I hope I am just crazy, and this is just the ranting of someone who doesn't know shit about politics. But we are so totally fucked if I'm right, so I'm not letting go of this.

The saga continues. Lots of random comments on this one.

Nearly one in five people polled are against removing the monument? How fucking stupid are we? I'll tell 'ya - real goddamn stupid.

What is this pussy shit that it's been moved? You're supposed to be getting it the fuck out of there, end of story.

"It is a sad day in our country when the moral foundation of our law and the acknowledgment of God has to be hidden from public view..." No, you fucking asshole, being "hidden from public view" is not the issue. I sincerely doubt that Christianity is going to be forced underground because of this. The government may be Judeo-Christian biased, BUT IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PUTTING THAT BIAS ON DISPLAY FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!.

Calling for people to come see "where the 10 Commandments once stood"? How fucking bankrupt are these peoples' lives? I'll tell 'ya - reall goddamn bankrupt. You brought your whole family from Alaska for this shit? Get the fuck out of here and go back to work.

"I think they're going to be sorry they cooperated with this act." What kind of an asshole makes bullshit threats like this? An ignorant, Christian asshole, that's what kind. All that this guy and the rest of Moore's followers care about is pushing their beliefs on everyone else and seeing those beliefs being reinforced in public forum just so everyone can see how wonderful and holy they are.

Here's another article that says people were praying while laying face-down on the pavement. Speaking of bullshit threats, I think it's Michelin-on-Skull Time!

Four men linking arms and chanting? Sounds pretty fucking gay for a bunch of Christian Conservatives.

"They can move it out of view, but they can't move it out of our hearts." That's the FUCKING POINT, asshole! No one is trying to remove God, or the Commandments, or any of that bullshit from your heart. They're just trying to maintain Separation of Church and State, not Separation of Church and Joe Christian.

Okay, that's it. Enough cheap shots from me; I'm tired.

Why don't men watch women's sports? Because they're fucking boring.

A lot of it isn't just because they're women, or unattractive, or whatever. Sure, I hate women, but that's only because they fall into a larger category known as "people." Don't get me wrong; I am not a simple misogynist, I am a misanthrope. The attractive thing really doesn't matter to me, because the Baywatch Principle comes into play. Even if there are some hotties running around, I'm not going to watch if the stuff beyond the T&A isn't interesting.

Another problem with women's sports for me is that they always let women play the most fucking uninteresting sports out there. Golf, soccer, basketball, you name it. I don't want to watch men play these sports.

Soccer is just fucking boring as shit to me, and I know it's not because of low scoring because I love hockey and 0-0 pitcher's duels. Actually, the only time I did get interested in soccer was women's soccer, when our team won the World Cup. That, however, failed to inspire me to watch more soccer, women's or otherwise. The same goes for men's basketball; I only enjoyed watching the Bulls play when they were good. Wasn't enough to get me interested in the sport in general.

The WNBA is a particular sore spot for me. Every year, around the same time, I ask my friends "Hey, did the WNBA finally fold?" only to find out that the new season starts in three days.

I probably speak for no one else, but you wanna know how to get me to watch women's sports? Give me something I've been clamoring for for a long time: women's baseball. No, I'm dead fucking serious. Check this out.

Major League Baseball has been pissing me off for years now. Mainly, because it's all about helping the hitter and fucking the pitcher. I could swear that the mound is nearly ground level now. New ballparks are being designed with smaller dimensions, older parks are having the fences moved in. Most likely rampant drug use is being ignored. At Fenway, they fucking lowered the green monster to add seats.

How often do you see guys steal bases anymore?

I just think it fucking sucks to see so many teams living and dying by the solo home-run. My solution? Kick it turn of the 20th century school, and bring back the dead ball. I know, not gonna happen.

So my other solution? Let women play baseball. I'm not talking about that softball bullshit, I mean real baseball. I know it won't happen in the big leagues, but it seems like it'd be feasible if not for all this patriarchal shit we have laying around. I could just be over-idealizing, and women wouldn't be able to make it in the Majors, but I doubt the possibility has been fully explored. And if breaking the sex barrier in the Majors doesn't happen, give the women their own league.

The thing is, I think women in baseball could be great hitters. And by hitters, I mean pure hitters who go for average and not power. Is there much more to hitting besides form, good eyesight, and good reflexes? I think female athletes could easily handle that. Plus, there would undoubtedly be power hitters as well, but we'd have a much better mix now to keep it from being all about the home run. Pitching is another issue, but I'm sure we can find some players out there who have some arm strength. Maybe not enough to pitch against men, so I definitely don't see that happening in the Majors. Defense and baserunning are more issues; against men it may be a mis-match, but straight women on women (and we all know how much we like to see that) teams would be no problem.

Again, don't give me any shit here, because I honestly don't know how well women athletes could compete against men. I have seen no studies, and have conducted no tests of my own. I'm just going with what little intuition and common sense that I have.

Oh, and if we do get women's baseball going, give them some real pants for their uniforms. I love looking at a nice pair of legs more than the next guy, but these women need to be able to slide, for Christ's sake.

Some people have too much time on their hands, and this is coming from me. I came across this example a long time ago, but for some reason was thinking about it today, and decided to post a link.