Just for good measure

I am just shitting myself over the brilliance

This guy was caught linking me, and as such will have to live with the shame of somehow being associated with this 'blog. I've only started perusing his site, but have come across some good stuff as well as some great links like The IRC Bible and Evil GOP Bastards. This image here, originally from EGOPB and shamelessly stolen from Dufus' front page, is just fucking great:



Just go check EGOPB yourself, but if you're too lazy, at least hit their posters section. Of course, thanks to Dufus for the link, and be sure and check his site out.

Whether or not Clinton ever gets his wish and sees the 22nd Amendment repealed, he will never cease to be influential in politics.

Fixed the first link in this post (the one about Takara). Thanks, Eli.

Well, there goes plans for the McRapist extra value meal. Sorry, Alleged McRapist.

Apparently, here's a PC game to avoid.

There's one site hit that I continually get which kind of amuses me. Every so often, I get a hit from someone who did a Google search for "bitter little man." I know it's the same person every time, too, because of the domain name that shows up in my Sitemeter log. For some reason, this person just cannot bring themselves to just bookmark this site. Furthermore, they must be too embarrassed by coming here to even memorize my URL, or they're terrified that (just like with a bookmark) the web browser's address bar will trap and store my URL for the world to see.

I'm actually not saying this to be an asshole; I'm just glad that this person as well as other people come here to read this nonsense, regardless of how they get here. It's just that this is one of the more interesting patterns of visitation that I've seen.

Speaking of visitor patterns, it's really fucked up (to me, at least) that I can recognize patterns. It's fucked up because that means that I'm getting some consistency of hits which actually allows me to see patterns. I can tell when some people are bored at work, or when they're bored at home. I even realized when ETP had changed his working schedule because the time his work domain started showing up in my log each day changed from evenings to early afternoons.

Clearly, this shows that I have too much time on my hands. However, I can take some comfort in knowing that I'm not alone.

Okay, you lazy bastards (except for Jared). After a suggestion by Sarah, I made a couple of posts over at the Messageboard to try and get things started. We even have our first poll up. I suspect that, like all other things in my life, these efforts will be in vain.

Yes, I know, I gave everyone about 12 seconds to hit the messageboard, but my guess is that Sara is right and no one would say anything unless if I did first. C'mon, guys, don't be like I am at bars and parties. Namely, silent.

I also re-organized the different forums after a suggestion by Danny. I was afraid that I had created too many forums and, sure enough, I immediately got a suggestion to cut back. I went ahead and did that, so now there are four main discussion forums, one for posting jokes, another for comments about the site itself as well as suggested links and topics, and finally the polls forum. Hopefully that will help the signal/noise ratio.

For anyone who has better things to do besides read Fe comments, Jay of Marcellus Wallace's Bloody Gitch has confirmed that his 'blog is indeed no more. Sounds like Jay has good reasons for shutting his site down, but it still sucks. MWBG was always a fun read, but if Star Trek taught me anything, it's that all good things must come to an end. Sorry for cheapening things like that, but anyway...

Thanks for the good time, Jay. Keep in touch, and feel free to rant on the new messageboard here which will otherwise get no use. If nothing else, keep us posted on how the book is coming along - my guess is that there's more than a few people out there in 'blog land who are gonne be interested in reading it someday.

So the first big step towards seeing a Democrat not get elected president is this evening. Let the meetings in people's kitchens begin.

For anyone like me who didn't fully understand what the fuck a caucus is, CNN currently has a link on their front page entitled "What is a caucus anyway?" I would have linked it, but it's a stupid Javascript window and I'm pretty sure linking it would be useless.

I don't know about anyone else, but the caucus idea seems like such a huge waste of time to me. Of course, I'm pretty simple-minded, and as such may just be too stupid to see the wisdom in caucuses as opposed to primaries. I guess one thing is that it really forces candidates to kiss ass in a particular state, since otherwise candidates probably wouldn't give much of a shit about places like Iowa (sorry, Eye-weegians).

The most surprising thing I learned today: John Edwards is 50?! Holy shit. I dunno why, but I either never heard his age or I didn't pay attention. Shit, just today I was wondering whether or not he's even old enough to be president, but he has that mark beat by a decade and a half. Maybe I'll throw my support behind that guy. It's about fucking time a shallow-ass country like this had another attractive president, isn't it? Hell, anyone who can stay looking that young at 50 has got to have something going for him, which is sadly more than I can say for a lot of other candidates. Seriously, if he has a hot daughter or two, that would totally seal the deal.

I think I vaguely heard about this piece of bullshit but neglected to post on it. I love seeing $1.5 billion of my tax dollars shitted away just so that the administration can push its religious and social agenda. This is just sick shit right here.

Yeah, whatever did happen to those Republicans of old who were all for getting government out of our lives? Thanks, Reaganites. Oh, and while we're at it: fuck popular wisdom. I've been over this before, but two parents are theoretically better than one, but that's not always the case. Quit pushing this stupid fucking absolute notion that it's always the right way to go. Along the lines of what The Onion once said, "the family that prays together, suffers through long hellish marriage together."

For any newbies, be cautious of the link in this post if you're at work or something. Everyone else hopefully knows what to do by now.

As promised, a couple of updates have been made over at Serafuku (and naturally, a day late). Get there before my daily bandwidth limitation does, or, alternatively, wait awhile.

Ahhh, it's good to have Filthy back. Filthy totally needs to adopt "The Filthy Critic: Resurrected More Times than Jesus" as his comeback slogan. Of course, to take that title, he only had to be resurrected once.

What else is new? Even with a potential WMD find from a time when we knew for certain that Iraq was using WMD, they still can't find shit. Was that whole "Saddam gassed his own people and the Iranians back in the 80s" thing made up, too?

"It was unclear why the initial field tests were wrong..." BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS FUCKING WRONG. Seriously, why do they even bother with the initial field tests? How many false alarms are we up to now? You know what? Initial tests once indicated that I had found WMD in my refrigerator, but it just turned out to be a bottle of Plochman's.

Everyone here knows what a bullshitter I am, especially when it comes to doing things related to making site changes. In my defense, I typically get around to doing everything I say I'm going to do, it just might take a really long fucking time. Well, today is one of those days where I get my shit together and add something to the site. I can guarantee that a handful of people will be disappointed with this, because it's not what they're thinking it is. Relax, that's still on the "shit to do" list, so it'll happen eventually.

So, without further ado, I proudly present Fuck Everything - The Messageboard.

It's a little rough around the edges right now, but we'll be doing some tweaking to get it to a low-class state that I'm happy with. Or maybe not, since I'm a lazy fuck. Also, I don't fully know what the deal with ezboards is - can I keep this board for free forever, or am I going to be forced to pay at some point? There's this little "trial" button that shows up on the front page, but I can't tell if that's just for their bullshit "gold" trial, or if the whole board is on trial status. So, if the board gets little or no use and I end up having to pay, this board will get 86ed. But, if it actually sees some traffic, I'd be willing to pay unless of course if I don't have to.

Also, the usernames "Bitter Little Man," "BitterLittleMan," and "BLM," were all taken, so I just decided to punt on the effort and use my old ezboard account I created awhile ago to read other boards. As such, the jackass known as "keymasterofgozer" is yours truly. Maybe once I care again I'll create a new account with a suitable username and add that as admin.

For Christ's sake, please use the messageboard, so that maybe I won't have to post as much and you people can finally start pulling your weight around here and help sustain the site a little. Also, let me know if you have any suggestions or problems. And no, I will not pay attention to any suggestions to kill the board or the site itself, nor will I listen to any "problems" with shitty site content.

In case you hadn't thought about it lately, here's a little reminder of the upcoming Eva live action movie, AKA the worst idea ever.

After reading through the comments on the link over at Slashdot, the change in characters' names hasn't been confirmed, but I wouldn't be surprised if they do change them just for the stupid gaijin audience. Shame on everyone involved with making this movie, and furthermore, FUCK everyone involved with making this movie.

Also mined from Assdot comments is this site, which posts rumors circulating about the atrocity. I think I'm so beyond anger at this point that I can now read shit like speculation that Harry Potter might play Shinji and just laugh instead of going out looking for a razor. I'm just going to try and sit back, relax, and laugh when it tanks.

To keep my sanity, I'm just going to consider Eva live action to not have anything to do with the real Eva. Much like Enterprise, which I don't consider Star Trek despite the name, Eva live action is NOT Evangelion.

Shake that ass, honey!

Indeed, how much CAN Chun-Li take?

Is that Galvin?

When did Ghandi show up?

They say milk baths are good for the skin, but... Yeah.

Visine: it gets the red out

If you open your eyes, it will be the LAST THING YOU DO.

Nope, there's more.

Bounty: the quicker picker upper

Now with more absorbent... Ah, fuck it.

My guess is that was one of about 348 showers.

... And my life has come down to this.

If you're wondering what the hell the deal is with all the random posts, yes, I am a little buzzed here. I'm getting sleepy, so it should mercifully come to an end soon. And no, I don't have an excuse for most of the other times I'm making a bunch of random posts just because I can.

I keep seeing these bumper stickers that say "Proud parent of a sailor." And I was thinking, hey, how about "Proud parent of a sailor schoolgirl." In one of my few moments of sanity, I immediately realized how goddamn fucking creepy that is. Don't worry, there's pretty much no chance I'll ever have children.

I did, however, come up with a bumpersitcker that I would find amusing: "Proud boyfriend of a sailor." It would go great next to my "God rules with an iron fist" sticker, courtesy of none other than ETP.

"But as they say in the U.S. Navy, there is no wrong hole."
- George Carlin

... But at least I'm not (yet) posting anything like this for my mother to potentially read.

Mad points for posting anything that involves horse cum. Mad points.

Ironic that just now I received a spam with the subject being "How to Relax." Okay, maybe not so much "ironic" as "someone trying to tell me something."

While I'm in the middle about worrying about what my family thinks of me, I need to lay down a quick rule:

Putting on a plaid skirt and calling it a schoolgirl uniform does not alone make it a schoolgirl uniform

This is why I got so damn fed up with American porno people. I can't even count the number of links I've clicked saying it's a set of schoolgirl pictures, only to click the link and find some skank in a plaid skirt with knee-high boots or a tube top or some other crap. There's a time and place for that stuff, but it is not in a so-called schoolgirl set.

This is why I give mad props to the Japanese, fucked up as they are - they fucking get it right. And no, it's not because they're sick like that and will parade around actual schoolgirls. As I've said before, it's not the age of the model but the uniform that does it. Girls with diplomas can wear uniforms and be every bit as sexy, so it's not just my lolicon tendencies talking there. The Japanese just don't fuck up the fantasy by throwing in something that doesn't belong. Bottom line is, if you're going to label a set of pictures as a "schoolgirl" set, you had better fucking get it right.

Alright, so Fuck everything may or may not be in some trouble. I won't explain the circumstances, but a few people in my family are now vaguely aware of the fact that I have a website entitled Fuck everything. My aunt, my cousins, and probably my mother presently have this notion. My aunt and cousins want to know where they can find my site, and so far, I've just tried to avoid the issue by telling them that I'll e-mail them the URL, hoping they'll just forget about it. But, no, they will probably end up here at some point, reading this fucking post no doubt.

Now, don't get me wrong here. I've already pointed out what a momma's boy I am, even if I do bitch about her obsessive-compulsive tendencies (tendencies which I myself have inherited). My aunt is super cool, because otherwise I would not have made two trips in about a month's time to Okla-fucking-homa to visit her and my uncle (in their defense, neither is an Oklahoma native). My cousins are also very cool, which they must be seeing as how they managed to get me to go downtown and out to bars this evening when I should have been drinking alone and updating Serafuku. And no, I'm not just kissing ass here because I'm expecting them to show up some day.

The reason why this is problematic is because I don't want any extra excuses to self-censor myself. It should be fairly evident that I don't do a whole lot of self-censoring here. Of course, there's bound to be some shit that I'm gonna hold back on, but to be honest I lay out quite a bit here, and I don't keep much in the closet. But if it gets to the point where I'm always worried about what X, Y, or Z is gonna think, or if I'm holding back on posting certain things that I otherwise would have posted, it's going to completely ruin this for me. I will fucking quit Fe if things get too bad, and I am not fucking bullshitting for once. Although I do like being a source of entertainment for others, the purpose of this site is primarily to entertain ME. That's how it's been since day one, and, quite frankly, that's what makes Fe what it is.

You see, it's not even so much that I'm worried about anyone in my family knowing my personal demons, because the people I'm close to already have an idea about all that. And yeah, it's not like my mother doesn't know what those magazines wrapped in plastic are about that come to our house. That kind of stuff has never been an issue with us.

It's just that I don't think that anyone in my family really needs to (or wants to) know about my sailor schoolgirl fetish. I don't really want to give my mother anything else to worry about by laying out posts talking about what a pathetic, lonely loser I feel like for not having a girlfriend. I've never busted out these stories (and pray I never do), but I brought a lot of worry to a lot of people back when I was in high school. I'm still pissed at myself for having done it, and I sure as hell don't want to do it again. Especially since, despite my crankiness and my moods, I am doing pretty well, so any worry would be completely unnecessary. And besides, writing posts where I'm passing along porn tips is just kinda creepy in that context. I half expect some blind motherfucker to burst into my apartment screaming at me about how I'm taking the first steps down the wrong path.

So yeah, the main worries are that I don't want anyone worrying, I don't want anyone creeped out, and I don't want to be getting any phone calls because of a 'blog post I made. Yeah, I know, I could just lie or bullshit my way out of this, but I'm really not big on that course of action. Well, nevermind, I'm already lying since I'm trying to avoid giving them the URL. No surprise there, since avoidance is typically how I try and get out of outright lies. I suppose another course of action would be to get my shit together so that there wouldn't be any posts that might be problematic, but let's face it, that is not going to happen.

We'll just have to see how this pans out. You know what the end result will most likely be? I'm overdramatizing this, LIKE ALWAYS (I'm so going to fail this semester!!!!), and whether or not people in my family start reading, this 'blog will be the EXACT same piece of shit it has always been.

Alright, I've been getting errors when trying to visit Marcellus Wallace's Bloody Gitch for the past several days. I hope Jay hasn't dropped out of the land of the blogging, but I am worried since he's done that before. If MWBG doesn't come back, I'm going to get angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Who the fuck am I kidding? You wouldn't like me, angry or otherwise. But still, if Jay leaves, I'm going to be pissed.

Even though they're just the distributors and not the makers of this, I'm going to nominate Takara for the greatest toy company of all time. Even if that dream thing is total rubbish, they still get the nod from me, thanks to (but not limited to) bad-ass toys like 20th Anniversary Optimus Prime.

Actually, you know what? That dream machine could be horribly dangerous if it actually works. What if someone whose life totally sucked got ahold of one? They might just do what they can to spend as much time as possible sleeping, only waking when they can't sleep anymore or they have to input a new dream. Goodbye job, goodbye friends, hello motherfucking fantasyland. Sure, it'd all be fake, but that's fairly comparable to real life, now isn't it? It'd be like your own bloody movie, except you're not inflicting it upon everyone else like most of the grassfuckers in Hollywood.

Of course, when I say it could be dangerous, I'm not talking about myself. I'm perfectly happy with... Goddamn it, I want one of those things.