Hopefully Night Rider really is just joking. It wouldn't surprise me if he isn't, though, since Hasselhoff is just so damn pathetic. Seeing him in interviews, you really get the sense that he thinks he's some really great man, when he just isn't.

My favorite Hasselhoff story was the one about his big Pay-Per-View concert several years back. It tanked, naturally, but he had the perfect scapegoat - while his concert was playing, OJ was running around in a white Bronco with a gun to his head. Sorry David; it's not OJ's fault. Your concert just plain sucked, and would have done poorly no matter what.

I find no end to the amusement that Europe is supposed to be all sophisticated and shit, yet people like David Hasselhoff and Jerry Lewis are practically demigods in places over there. Of course, we don't have the art, the culture, or the history of Europe over here, but at least Hasselhoff can't release chart-topping hits over here.

Then there's the fact that we know what sick fuckers the Germans are. Apparently, they'll eat any shit you feed them. Literally.