That title was one of my favorite Onion front-page one-liners from a couple of years back. They did it at the very beginning of the '98 season when, ironically, the Cubs actually made the playoffs. After last year's predictably shitty end this past offseason gave us some hope with the signing of players like Greg Maddux (nice to see us getting him back after he's made it through his days of being God) and Derrek Lee. With the starting rotation anchored by Prior, Wood, and the aging but still good Maddux, some people had the Cubs pegged to take the central.
Well, here we are, a couple weeks in to the season. The Cubs are off to a not stellar but not horrible start. Prior is out with an Achilles problem, although rumors have been going around that that's a coverup for the fact that Prior needs Tommy John surgery. Just like last season, I so desperately don't want to get invested in this season. The offseason made it difficult, the beginning of the season is making it a bit easier. Of course, it's not like it matters, because we know how last season ended up and how this season will end up. At least I can count on my number two team, the Rockies, to suck ass. Yes, "number two team" is intentional there so that it sounds like a bathroom code. Still, we need to hit a game or two at Coors Canaveral this year because even if the game sucks, that's always a good time.
Maybe I should just start following Japanese baseball. Since I have a tendency to gravitate towards loser teams, maybe I could root for the Hanshin Tigers, the Cubs/BoSox of the Japanese league who won their first division championship in like 17 years last season only to end up losing the Japan Series. Also, where the fuck else are you going to find team names like the Carp or the Swallows outside AA ball?
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