"All told, it's been a rough month for the hotel heiress."

Whoever wrote that line needs to be gunned down. Right after we gun down Paris Hilton herself. Which, of course, will take place sometime after we do something horrible to that ugly little shit dog of hers right in front of her eyes.

Yeah, it would suck to get robbed and have your piece of shit that you call a pet disappear for six seconds. It would furthermore suck to have gobs and gobs of money, never having to worry about a fucking thing or furthermore do a fucking thing other than shop, drink, party, and fuck. Oh wait, no it wouldn't.

Bill Maher put it best. "New rule: you can't be famous for nothing." Paris Hilton is a rich cunt. We have a few of those in this country. Big fucking deal. But on top of it she's ugly. Why does anyone care about Paris Hilton? Oh, that's right, because this country is FUCKING RETARDED.

Finally, if I thought that she would actually get it, I would send Paris one of these.